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暮光之城2：新月|New Moon

第六章：朋友|Chapter 6 Friends

属类： 双语小说 【分类】魔幻小说 -[作者: 斯蒂芬妮-梅耶] 阅读：[8626]
《暮光之城》是美国作家斯蒂芬妮·梅尔 （Stephenie Meyer）写的系列小说，包括《暮色》、《新月》、《月食》、《破晓》以及番外《布里·坦纳第二次短暂生命》、《暮色重生》和《午夜阳光》。《暮光之城》系列以伊莎贝拉·斯旺和爱德华·卡伦一对苦命鸳鸯的情感纠葛为主线，融合了吸血鬼传说、狼人故事、校园生活、恐怖悬念、喜剧冒险等各种元素，而凄美动人的爱情则是全书“最强烈的情绪”。
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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这些摩托车只需要放在雅各布的棚子下面就行了。比利的轮椅没法在房子外面的那些不平的地方移动。

1
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雅各布开始把第一辆――红色的那个，那个打算是给我的――直接拆成一块块的。他打开兔牌汽车副座的门，那么我就可以坐在座位上而不是地上。雅各布一边修车一边愉快的和我聊天，我只需要稍稍的鼓励就能保持谈话的继续。他告诉我一些新的关于他读高二的事情，从他的课程讲到两个最好的朋友。

2
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“奎尔和恩布里？”我打断他的讲话。“这些名字很少见。”

3
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雅各布笑起来。“奎尔是个祖传的名字，我想恩布里应该是来源于一个肥皂剧明星的名字。不过我也不太清楚。如果你拿他们的名字说事他们会发火的――他们会一起对付你的。”

4
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“好朋友。”我挑起一边的眉毛。

5
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“是的，他们是。只是不能取笑他们的名字。”

6
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就在这时候远处传来一个喊声。“雅各布？”某个人喊道。

7
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“是比利吗？”我问道。

8
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“不是。”雅各布低下头，看起来好像他棕色皮肤的脸羞红起来。“说曹操，”他咕噜到，“曹操就到。”

9
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“杰克！你在那吗？”这个喊声现在听起来更近了。

10
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“是的！”雅各布回答到，并且叹了口气。

11
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一阵短暂的安静后，两个高个子、黑皮肤的男孩从拐角处慢慢走向车库来。

12
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一个很瘦，几乎和雅各布一样高。他的黑头发到下巴那儿，并且从中间分来，一边塞在左耳后面，而另一边自由的摇晃着。那个矮个子的男孩更健壮。他的白衬衫紧绷在他发育良好的胸口，并且他看起来也满心欢喜的意识到这一点。他的头发短的几乎只是个板寸。

13
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当他们看到我时他们都停了一下。那个瘦高男孩的眼睛迅速的在我和雅各布之间的扫视着，而那个肌肉结实的男孩盯着我，笑容慢慢在他脸上绽开。

14
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“嗨，伙计们，”雅各布毫无兴趣的招呼着他们。

15
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“嗨，杰克，”矮个子的男孩回答到，眼睛继续盯着我。我不得不也对他笑了笑，他笑容太顽皮了。我笑的时候，他朝我眨眨眼。“嗨，你好。”

16
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“奎尔，恩布里――这是我朋友，贝拉。”

17
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奎尔和恩布里，我还不知道他们谁是谁，意味深长的交换了一下眼神。

18
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“你是查理的孩子，对吧？”那个健壮的男孩问我，并伸出了他的手。

19
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“是的，”我证实到，和他握了下手。他的手强而有力，就像他正在伸展他的二头肌。

20
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“我是奎尔.阿提拉，”他在放开我的手之前大声的宣布到。

21
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“很高兴见到你，奎尔。”

22
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“你好，贝拉。我是恩布里，恩布里.康纳――你也许已经知道了。”恩布里害羞的笑了笑并挥了下手，然后他就把那只手塞进了牛仔裤的口袋里。

23
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我点点头。“同样很高兴见到你。”

24
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“那么你们正在做什么？”奎尔问道，仍然看着我。

25
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“贝拉和我正要修理这些车，”雅各布不准确的解释到。但是车好像是个具有魔力的词语。他们都跑去检查雅各布的工作，用一些专业的词语询问他。他们用的很多词对我来说都很陌生，我发现我只有拥有了Y染色体才能真正明白他们为什么那么兴奋了。

26
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他们一直沉浸在讨论这些零件和配件中，这时我决定我需要在查理出现在这之前动身回家了。我叹了口气，从兔牌汽车上滑下来。雅各布歉意的抬起头。“我们让你无聊了，对吧？”

27
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“没有。”这不是假话。我过的很愉快――真奇怪。“我只是必须要回家给查理做晚餐了。”

28
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“哦……好的，我今晚就会把它们拆开了并且弄清楚我们还需要些什么零件来把它们重新组装起来。你想什么时候再来修理它们？”

29
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“我能明天过来吗？”星期天是我生活中的致命伤。从未有足够多的作业能让我保持忙碌。奎尔用胳膊轻推了下恩布里，他们交换了下眼神然后咧嘴笑起来。

30
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雅各布欣喜的笑起来。“那简直太棒了！”

31
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“如果你可以列出一张清单，我们就能去商店买零件了，”我建议道。

32
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雅各布的脸色有些沉了下来。“我还是不确定我是否应该全部让你买单。”

33
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我摇摇头。“不行。我为这个生日提供资金。你只需要提供劳力和技术就行了。”

34
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恩布里朝奎尔转了转眼睛。

35
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“这好像不太好，”雅各布摇了摇头。

36
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“杰克，如果我把这些车送到机械师那，他会要我付多少钱呀？”我指出。

37
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他笑了。“好吧，你赢了。”

38
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“还没提到骑车教程呢，”我补充到。

39
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奎尔对着恩布里笑开了并且他低声说了些什么，我没听清楚。雅各布飞快的伸出手拍了下奎尔的后脑勺。“就这样了，出去，”他咕噜到。

40
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“不用了，真的，，我必须走了，”我反对着，朝着门走过去。“明天见，雅各布。”

41
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当我一走出视线，就听见奎尔和恩布里齐声叫着，“哇喔！”

42
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然后就听到短暂的扭打在一起的声音，夹杂着“哎呦”和“嘿！”的叫声。

43
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“明天如果你们任何一个敢伸出一根脚趾头踏上我的领土……”我听到雅各布威胁到。当我穿过树林时雅各布的声音就消失了。

44
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我轻轻的笑起来。这个笑声让我惊奇的睁大了眼睛。我在笑，实际上是在笑，甚至没人看着我。我感觉如此的轻松以至于我又开始笑起来，只是想让这种感觉持续的更久一些。我在查理之前回到家。当他走进来时我正在把炸鸡从平底锅里盛出来并把它放到一叠纸巾上。

45
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“嗨，爸爸。”我飞快的对他笑了笑。

46
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在他调整好自己的表情前一丝震惊的表情掠过他的脸庞。“嗨，宝贝，”他说，他的声音听起来不太确定。“你和雅各布在一起愉快吗？”

47
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我把食物放到桌上。“是的。”

48
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“噢，太好了。”他仍然很谨慎。“你们俩做了什么？”

49
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现在轮到我谨慎一些了。“我待在他的车库里看他工作了。你知道他正在重新组装一辆大众汽车吗？”

50
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“是的，我想比利提过这件事。”

51
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当查理开始咀嚼时审问就不得比停止了，但是他还是一边吃一边审视着我的脸。

52
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吃完晚餐，我不知道做什么，把厨房打扫了两遍，然后在客厅慢吞吞的做作业，而查理则在看一场曲棍球比赛。我一直等着，直到查理提到时间不早了。我没有回答，他站起身，伸了下懒腰，然后离开了，在身后关掉了灯。我不情愿的跟着他。

53
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当我爬楼梯的时候，我感觉到下午最后那点不同寻常的幸福感觉已经从我的身体里流走了，现在取而代之的是一种阴暗的恐惧，一想到我将必须忍受的事我就害怕。

54
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我已经不再麻木了。毫无疑问，今晚会和昨晚一样可怕。我躺在床上，把身体卷成一团为痛苦的袭来做好准备。我紧紧的闭上眼睛……接下来我知道的下一件事，就是已经到早晨了。

55
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我看着从窗户外透进来的淡淡的银白色的阳光，惊呆了。

56
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四个多月以来的第一次，我第一次睡觉的时候没有做梦。做梦或者尖叫都没有。宽慰或者震惊――我不知道那种感情更加强烈。

57
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我继续在床上躺了几分钟，等着它的归来。因为一定有什么感觉会来的。如果不是痛苦，那么就是麻木了。我等待着，但是什么也没发生。我感觉得到了比长久以来更多的休息。

58
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我不相信它能持续多久。我平衡在一个滑溜溜的、危险的边缘，并且很容易就能把我重新击垮。只需要用我这双突然清晰的双眼环顾一下我的房间――我意识到它看起来太陌生，太整洁了，就像我完全没在这住过一样――就很危险。

59
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当我穿衣服的时候，我把那种想法赶出脑外，并且集中精力想着我今天又会见到雅各布了。这想法让我几乎感觉……充满希望。也许今天会和昨天一样。也许我不必提醒自己要表现的饶有兴致，并且在适当的间隙点头或者微笑，这是我和其他人相处的方式。也许……我也不会相信这会持续下去。不会相信今天会――如此轻松――和昨天一样。我不会用那样的方式让自己失望。吃早餐的时候，查理还是很小心。他试图掩饰他审视的目光，于是眼睛一直盯着鸡蛋直到他认为我没有看他了。

60
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“你今天打算做什么？”他问道，一边盯着袖口边一根松掉的线，好像他没太在意我的回答似的。

61
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“我还是会和雅各布一起出去。”

62
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他点点头，没有抬头看我。“哦，”他说。

63
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“你介意吗？”我装作担心的样子。“我可以待在……”

64
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他迅速抬头看了我一眼，眼睛里闪过一丝惊慌的神色。“不，不！你去吧。哈里会过来和我一起看球赛的。”

65
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“也许哈里还可以顺道去接比利呢，”我建议到。目击者还是越少越好。

66
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“这是个好主意。”

67
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我不确定球赛是否只是叫我出门的一个借口，但是现在他看起来很兴奋。当我穿上我的防雨夹克时他朝电话走过去。我意识到支票簿正在我夹克口袋里晃动。我还从未用过它。

68
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屋外，雨下的很大，就像从水桶里泼出来的一样。我不得不更慢的行驶，我本想开得更快一些的，我几乎看不清在我卡车前一个车位的距离。但是最后我还是穿过了泥泞的车道达到了雅各布的家。在我熄火以前，前门就打开了，雅各布跑了出来手里拿着一把巨大的黑雨伞。

69
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我开门的时候他就把伞放在车门的上方。

70
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“查理打过电话来――说你正在路上，”雅各布微笑的解释到。

71
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毫不费力的，没有刻意的去控制我嘴边的肌肉，我回应的笑容就在脸上绽开了。尽管冰冷的雨水飞溅在我的脸上，一种陌生的温暖的感觉在我的喉咙里沸腾着。

72
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“嗨，雅各布。”

73
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“把比利也邀请过去真是太好了。”他举起手示意我和他击掌。

74
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我不得不把手臂伸得老高去击他的手掌，这让他笑起来。

75
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几分钟后哈里就出现并接走了比利。我们等待着没人监视的那段时间，雅各布领着我简短的参观了一下他的小房间。

76
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“那么我们去哪，古德伦奇先生那吗？”当门在比利身后一关上我就问道。

77
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雅各布从他的口袋里抽出一张纸并把它弄平。“我们首先要从这堆垃圾开始了，看我们是否很幸运。这可能会有点贵哦，”他提醒我。“这些摩托车在能重新跑起来之前很多地方需要修理。”我的脸上看起来不够担心，所以他接着说道。“我说的是这可能需要超过一百美金。”

78
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我抽出支票簿，用它朝脸上扇了扇风，冲他那张担心的脸转了转眼睛。“我们搞的定的。”

79
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这是非常奇怪的一天。我过得很愉快。即使待在垃圾堆里，待在瓢泼大雨中和齐踝的泥巴里。我起初想这是否是失去麻木感后的后遗症，但是我认为这不是一个充分的理由。我开始认为这多半是因为雅各布。并不只是他总是很开心见到我，或者他不会用眼角来观察我，或者等着我做些让我看起来很疯狂或者压抑的事。这些与我一点关系也没有。

80
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只是由于雅各布自身的原因。雅各布完全是一个永远都无忧无虑的人，他浑身都带着这种快乐的气味，并且把这种快乐和身边所有的人分享。就像围绕着地球旋转的太阳，只要有人进入他的引力范围，雅各布就会温暖他们。这很自然，这就是他的一部分。难怪我这么热切的想见到他。

81
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甚至当他评论我仪表盘上裂开的洞时，也没有让我陷入应有的慌乱中。

82
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“立体声音响坏了吗？”他问道。

83
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“是的，”我撒了个谎。

84
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他在洞的周围拨弄着。“谁把它取出来的？好多地方都弄坏了……”

85
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“是我，”我承认。

86
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他笑起来。“也许你不应该过多的接触摩托车。”

87
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“没问题。”

88
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按照雅各布的说法，我们在垃圾堆里的确遇到了好运。他为找到的几块被油脂弄黑的变形金属块而兴奋，我只是对于他能说出它们原来应该是什么而印象深刻。

89
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从那里我们开往霍奎厄姆的切克校检汽车零件公司。我的卡车要在蜿蜒的高速公路上向南行驶两个多小时，但是和雅各布在一起时间过得很快。他聊到他的朋友和学校，我发现我自己甚至不用假装感兴趣而提问，而是真的对他说的东西感到好奇。

90
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“一直都是我在讲哦，”在他讲完关于奎尔和由于他邀请一个高年级学生的固定女朋友而惹上麻烦的长故事后，他抱怨到。“为什么不换你讲呢？福克斯最近发生了什么事？它应该会比拉普西更让人兴奋了。”

91
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“错了，”我叹了口气。“真的什么事都没有。你的朋友比我的有趣多了。我喜欢你的朋友。奎尔很有趣。”

92
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他皱皱眉。“我想奎尔也喜欢你。”

93
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我笑起来。“奎尔对我来说年纪小了点。”

94
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雅各布的眉头皱的更深了。“他比你小不了多少。只有一年零几个月。”

95
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我感觉我们现在讨论的不再是奎尔了。我保持着轻松的语气，开玩笑的说“当然，但是，考虑到男孩和女孩的成熟年龄不同，难道你非得用计算小狗年龄的方式来计算吗？那会让我有什么变化，至少老十二岁吧？”

96
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他笑起来，转了转眼睛。“好的，但是如果你一定要那样吹毛求疵的话，你也还得平均一下尺寸。你太娇小了，我将不得不从总数里去掉十年。”

97
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“五点四英寸正好是平均身高。”我不屑一顾的说。“那不是我的错，你是个怪物。”开往霍奎厄姆的路上我们都这样开着玩笑，一直争辩着计算年龄的正确公式――我因为不会换轮胎而被减去两年，但是我由于主管家里的账簿又加上一年――直到我们到达切克，雅各布就不得不集中精力了。我们找到了他清单上余下的所以东西，雅各布确信有了我们采购的物品他就能有很大的进展了。

98
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当我们返回拉普西时，我二十三岁而他三十岁了――他权衡的技巧一定对他有利。

99
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我没有忘记我做这些事的理由。并且，即使我现在过得比我所能想到的还愉快，但我最初的渴望仍然没有减轻。我仍然想背弃那个承诺。它是毫无意义的，我真的不在乎它了。我要在福克斯尽我所能的放纵自己。我不要成为一个空头承诺的唯一遵守者。和雅各布在一起只是比我期待的还要让人快乐。

100
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比利还没有回来，所以我们不需要偷偷摸摸的卸下我们今天的战利品。当我们把所以东西都放到雅各布工具箱旁别的塑质地板上时，他马上就投入工作了，他的手指一边熟练的整理着他前面的金属片前，仍然一边说话和大笑。

101
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雅各布双手的技能非常迷人。它们开起来太大了而没法做好这些精细的工作，但是它们却很轻松精确的操作着。当他工作的时候，他看起来几乎很优雅。不像他站起来的时候，那时，他的身高和那双大脚使他变得和我一样危险。

102
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奎尔和恩布里没有出现，也许他们把他昨天的威胁当真了。

103
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时间过得飞快。车库门外比我预期的还要更早的黑下来，然后我们就听见比利在叫我们。我跳起来想帮雅各布把东西收好，但是我又因为不确定应该拿什么而踌躇着。

104
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“放着就行了，”他说。“我今晚迟些再过来修理。”

105
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“别忘了你的作业或者其它的什么事，”我说，感到有点内疚。我不想让他陷入麻烦。这个计划只是为了我自己。

106
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“贝拉？”

107
-

当查理熟悉的声音穿过树林时我们俩猛地抬起头，他的声音他比房子那更靠近一些。

108
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“被逮到了，”我咕噜到。“来了！”我朝房子那边喊道。

109
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“我们走。”雅各布笑起来，很享受这种秘密的行动。他关掉了灯，有一片刻我什么都看不见。雅各布抓住我的手，拉着我走出车库，穿过树林，他的双脚很容易找到这条熟悉的小路。他的手很粗糙也很温暖。

110
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尽管是在这条熟悉小路上，我们的脚在黑暗中还是被绊倒了。所以当我们看到房子的时候我们都笑起来。笑声没有变大，它是轻柔的和表面的，但是仍然感觉很好。我确定他没有注意到这是我陷入不能自已状态的微弱迹象。我不习惯大笑，它感觉不错但同时又很不对劲。

111
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查理站在小小的后廊那里，而比利则坐在他身后的门口处。

112
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“嗨，爸爸，”我们同时喊道，这让我们又开始笑起来。

113
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查理睁大眼睛看着我，眼睛往下扫视时注意到雅各布的手正牵着我的手。

114
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“比利邀请我们吃晚餐，”查理心不在焉的对我们说。

115
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“我有做意大利面的超级秘诀。已经流传了好几代了，”比利认真的说道。

116
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雅各布嗤之以鼻的说道。“我可不认为那个意大利肉酱实际上存在了那么久了。”

117
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房子里挤满了人。哈里.克里尔沃特也在，还要他的家人――他老婆，苏，从我儿时在福克斯度夏的记忆里我依稀记得她，还要他的两个孩子。利亚和我一样是毕业班的学生，但是比我大一岁。她有种异域风情的美――完美的古铜色皮肤，富有光泽的黑发，像羽毛掸子一样长的睫毛――并且一直全神贯注的。当我们进来的时候她就在用比利的电话，并且一直没挂断。塞思十四岁，他用崇拜的眼神听着雅各布说的每一句话。厨房餐桌上的人太多了，所以查理和哈里把椅子搬到了院子里，比利家开着的门透出了昏暗的灯光，我们就在这昏暗的灯光下把盘子放在腿上吃着意大利面。男人们讨论着球赛，哈里和查理讨论着钓鱼的计划。苏取笑着他丈夫的高胆固醇，并且希望能让他感到惭愧而去吃些蔬菜和多叶的植物，但是没有成功。雅各布主要是与我讲话，而塞斯，无论何时只要雅各布看起来有忽视他的倾向时，他就急切的打断我们的谈话。查理用开心但是谨慎的眼光看着我，同时他也试图不让我察觉到。

118
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四周的声音很嘈杂有时当有的人试图说服另一个人时甚至有些混乱，一个笑话引起的笑声往往打断了另一个正在讲的笑话。我不需要讲太多的话，但是经常笑，并且这只是因为我想笑而已。

119
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我不想离开。

120
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不过这里是华盛顿，经常会下雨，最后我们的聚会被破坏了，比利家的客厅实在是太小了没法提供一个继续聚会的机会。是哈里载查理过来的，所以我们一起座我的卡车回家。他问我今天做了什么，我告诉他的几乎都是事实――我和雅各布一起去看零件然后看他在车库里工作。

121
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“你想不久后再次访问他们吗？“他好奇的问道，努力装出漠不关心的样子。

122
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“明天放学以后吧，”我承认。“我会带功课过去的，不用担心。”

123
-

“你当然要这么做，”他命令到，试图掩饰他满意的心情。

124
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进屋后我就开始紧张。我不想上楼。雅各布在我身边的那种温暖的感觉已经开始消退，正因为它的消失，焦虑变得更加强烈。我确信我不可能连续两晚都能睡得安宁。

125
-

为了推迟睡觉的时间，我检查了我的电邮，有一封来自蕾妮的新邮件。

126
-

她写的是她的生活，新的读书俱乐部填补了她刚刚放弃的冥想课程，她一个星期都在二年级做替补，想念着她的幼儿园老师。她还写道菲尔很享受他的教练工作，他们计划去迪斯尼乐园度第二个蜜月。

127
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我意识到整封信读起来就像是篇旅行日志，而不是写给某人的信。懊恼的情绪向我涌来，留下了让人难受的刺痛。我还是某人的女儿呢。

128
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我很快就回信给她，评论了信里的每一个部分，自愿的提供了自己的很多信息――描述了在比利家的意大利面派对，以及当我看见雅各布把一些小金属块组装成有用的东西时的感受――满怀敬佩和稍许的嫉妒。我没有提及这封信与她最近几个月收到的信相比，有什么改变。我记不得给她的信里写到了什么，甚至是最近一个星期的也不记得了，但是确定的是它不会有良好的反应。我对此考虑的越多，我就感到更内疚，我一定让她担心了。

129
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写完信后我又熬了很久的夜，做完了比严格意义上必须完成的还要多的作业。但是无论的不睡觉还是和雅各布共度的时间――表面看来几乎可以算是开心――都没法让我一连两晚远离噩梦的袭击。

130
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我颤抖的醒过来，我的尖叫声被枕头压抑住了一些。

131
-

当早晨朦胧的阳光穿过窗外的薄雾照进来时，我仍然躺在床上并且试图摆脱那个噩梦。昨晚有一点小小的不同，我把注意力集中在那上面。

132
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昨晚我不是一人在树林里。山姆.乌利――那晚把我从森林里的地上拉起来的男人，我无法忍受自己有意识的去想它――他也在那里。这是一个奇怪的、出乎意料的改变。这个男人的黑眼睛看起来让人惊讶的不友好，好像装满了他看起来不打算和别人分享的秘密。我疯狂的寻找着，然后尽一切可能的盯着他，我和平常一样恐慌，而他在那让我非常不安。也许因为当我没有直视他时，我的余光可以看到他的身体好像在颤抖和变化。即使他什么都没做只是站在那看着我。和我们在现实生活中相遇的时候不同，他没有为我提供帮助。吃早餐的时候查理盯着我看，我试着不去注意他。我想这是我自找的。我不能指望他不用担心我。他担心我会再次变得麻木无生气，在他停止这种担心之前可能还需要好几个星期的时间，我只得努力不让这件事烦到我。毕竟，我也在等着麻木感的回来。两天的时间还不足以使我的伤口愈合。

133
-

学校则正好相反。既然我开始留意周围的环境，很清楚的就是这儿没人关注我。

134
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我还记得我来福克斯高中的第一天――我是多少渴望我能不引人注意，就像一直特大号的变色龙消失在人行道湿漉漉的混凝土里。看起来一年后我实现了这个愿望。

135
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就像我不在那里似的。甚至老师们的眼睛也会扫过我的座位就像它是空的一样。

136
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我一早上都在聆听，再次倾听我周围人的声音。我试图弄清楚正在发生的事情，但是这些谈话如此的杂乱和不连贯我只能放弃。

137
-

上微积分课的时候我在杰西卡的身边坐下，她都没抬头看我。

138
-

“嗨，杰西，”我装作漠不关心的说道。“你周末剩下的时间都做了什么？”

139
-

她用怀疑的眼神看着我。难道她还在生气吗？或者她只是没耐心和一个疯狂的人打交道？

140
-

“非常好，”她说，然后就把注意力转回到课本上。

141
-

“那太好了，”我咕噜到。

142
-

“冷的肩膀”（冷淡、轻视的意思）的比喻还是有它字面上的真理的。我可以感觉到地板通气孔上吹来的暖风，但是我还是很冷。我把外套从板凳背上取下来重新穿上。

143
-

我的第四节课下得有些晚，当我到达食堂时我经常做的餐桌上已经坐满了人。迈克、杰西卡、安吉拉、康纳、泰勒、埃里克和劳伦都在那。凯蒂.马歇尔，那个住在我家拐角处的红头发的高二学生和埃里克坐在一起，奥斯丁.马科斯――那个把摩托车给我的男孩的哥哥――坐在她旁别。我好奇他们在那已经坐了多久了，我记不起他们是第一天这么坐还是已经成了一种惯例了。

144
-

我开始讨厌我自己了。在最近一个学期我好像塞进泡沫聚苯乙烯里的花生一样。

145
-

当我在迈克身边坐下时没人抬头看我，即使当我把椅子往后拖出来时，椅子在油地毡上发出刺耳的声音。

146
-

我努力想弄明白他们的谈话。

147
-

迈克和康纳正在谈论运动，所以我立刻放弃了这一个。

148
-

“本今天去哪了？”劳伦问安吉拉。我振作精神，感兴趣的听下去。我想那是不是意味着安吉拉和本还在一起。

149
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我几乎没认出劳伦。她把她那柔顺的玉米色金发剪断了――现在她那精灵似的短发太短了从后面看简单像个男孩。她这么做真是太奇怪了。我想知道这背后的原因。她把口香糖粘在上面了吗？还是她把头发卖了？又或者那些她老是用不好态度对待的家伙在体育馆后抓住她，把她的头发拉掉了？我意识到用我以前的观点去评价她的不公平的。据我所知，她现在已经变成了一个不错的人。

150
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“本得了胃肠感冒，”安吉拉轻声、平静的说道。“希望这只是二十四小时的事情。他昨晚真的病得很重。”

151
-

安吉拉也改变了她的发型。她的头发已经长出了层次。

152
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“你们俩这个周末做了什么？”杰西卡问道，听起来她好像并不关心答案。我打赌这只是她打开话题的方式，那么她就可以讲自己的故事了。我想她是不是要讲在天使港我们隔了两个位置看电影的事？难道我是透明的吗，以至于即使我在这里没人会因为谈论到我而感到别扭？

153
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“实际上我们打算星期六去野餐的，但是……我们改变主意了，”安吉拉说。她的声音带着说下去的意味，这引起了我的注意。

154
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杰西，不是那么感兴趣。“那太糟了，”她说，准备开始讲她自己的故事。但是我不是唯一注意到安吉拉讲话的人。

155
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“发生了什么事？”劳伦好奇的问道。

156
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“哦，”安吉拉说道，似乎比平时更犹豫不绝，虽然她一直是个拘谨的人，“我们向南边驶去，几乎快到温泉了――离小径大概一公里的地方有个不错的景点。但是，当我们开到半路时……我们看到一些东西。”

157
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“看见一些东西？那是什么？”劳伦淡淡的眉毛紧缩在一起。甚至现在连杰西卡也看起来正在听。

158
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“我不知道，”安吉拉说。“我们认为它是一只熊。总之，它是黑色的，但是它看起来……太大了。”

159
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劳伦露出嗤之以鼻的样子。“哦，不是你也看到了吧！”她的眼睛露出嘲弄的神情，我决定不需要把她想的太好了。很明显的是她的个性并没有像她的发型一样改变的那么多。“泰勒上个星期也试图让我相信这个。”

160
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“你不可能在风景区附近看到熊的，”杰西卡说道，站在劳伦那一边。

161
-

“是真的,”杰西卡看着桌子小声的争辩着。“我们的确看到了。”

162
-

劳伦窃笑起来。迈克还在和康纳讲话，没有注意女孩子们的谈话。

163
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“不，她说的没错，”我不耐烦的插话到。“星期六我们正好有个徒步旅行者的顾客，他们也说看到了熊，安吉拉。他说它很巨大而且是黑色的，就在镇外，对吧，迈克？”

164
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接下来陷入了片刻的沉默。桌上的每一双眼睛都震惊的看着我。新加入的女孩，凯蒂，张着嘴好像她刚刚目睹了一场爆炸似的。大家都一动不动的。

165
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“迈克？”我咕噜到，很难堪。“还记得那个讲到熊故事的人吗？”

166
-

“当――当然，”过了一会迈克结结巴巴的说到。我不知道他为什么如此奇怪的看着我。我在工作时也和他讲话呀，不是吗？是吗？我是这么想的……

167
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迈克恢复常态。“是的，有个家伙说他看到一头巨大的黑熊正在小道口那――比灰熊更大，”他证实到。

168
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“恩。”劳伦转向杰西卡，肩膀僵硬着，然后就转变了话题。

169
-

“你收到南加州大学的回复了吗？”她问道。

170
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除了迈克和安吉拉，每个人都转过脸。安吉拉试探性的对我笑了笑，我赶紧也对她笑了笑。

171
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“那么这个周末你做了什么，贝拉？”迈克好奇的问道，同时他的语气也带着奇怪的谨慎。

172
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除了劳伦大家都回头看着我，等着我的回答。

173
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“星期五晚上，我和杰西卡去天使港看电影了。然后星期六下午和几乎整个星期天我都去了拉普西。”

174
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一双双眼睛都扫向杰西卡然后又重新回到我身上。杰西卡看起来有些恼怒。我想知道她是不想让任何人知道她和我一起出去过呢，还是她只是想由她自己来说这件事。

175
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“你们看了什么电影？”迈克问道，并开始微笑起来。

176
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“《死角》――一部关于僵尸的电影。”我鼓起勇气笑起来。或许在过去几个月里，由于我毫无生气的状态而造成的影响是可以补救的。

177
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“我听说那部电影很恐怖。你也这么认为吗？”迈克渴望继续这个谈话。

178
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“贝拉最后不得不离开了，她太害怕了，”杰西卡插话到，脸上带着狡黠的微笑。

179
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我点点头，试图让自己看起来局促不安。“它非常的可怕。”

180
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一直到吃完中饭迈克都在问我问题。慢慢的，其他人也都开始继续自己的谈话，虽然他们还是经常看看我。安吉拉主要是与我和迈克交谈，当我站起身去倒我的盘子时，她跟着我。

181
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“谢谢，”当我们离开桌子的时候她低声对我说道。

182
-

“谢什么？”

183
-

“开口说话支持我啊。”

184
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“没什么。”

185
-

她担心的看着我，但是没有让我感觉到不快。“你还好吗？”

186
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这就是为什么我选择杰西卡而不是安吉拉的原因――虽然我更喜欢安吉拉――在那个女孩子之夜一起看去电影。安吉拉的观察力更太敏锐了。

187
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“不是太好，”我承认。“但是我现在已经好些了。”

188
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“我很高兴，”她说，“我一直都很想你。”

189
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接着劳伦和杰西卡也来到我们旁别，我听见劳伦大声的耳语，“噢，真开心贝拉回来了。”

190
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安吉拉从她们转了转眼睛，并且带着鼓励的表情对我笑起来。

191
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我叹了口气，好像我又重新来过了一样。

192
-

“今天是一月十九号。”

193
-

“恩。”

194
-

“怎么啦？”安吉拉问道。

195
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“一年前的昨天是我来到这里的第一天，”我沉思着。

196
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“一切都没有太多的改变，”安吉拉注视着劳伦和杰西卡小声说到。

197
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“我知道，我和你想的一样。”

198
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THE MOTORCYCLES DIDN’T NEED TO BE HIDDEN ANY further than simply placing them inJacob’s shed. Billy’s wheelchair couldn’t maneuver the uneven ground separating it from the house.

1

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Jacob started pulling the first bike—the red one, which was destined for me—to pieces immediately. Heopened up the passenger door of the Rabbit so I could sit on the seat instead of the ground. While heworked, Jacob chattered happily, needing only the lightest of nudges from me to keep the conversationrolling. He updated me on the progress of his sophomore year of school, running on about his classes and his two best friends.

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"Quil and Embry?" I interrupted. "Those are unusual names."Jacob chuckled. "Quil’s is a hand-me-down, and I think Embry got named after a soap opera star. I can’tsay anything, though. They fight dirty if you start on their names—they’ll tag team you.""Good friends." I raised one eyebrow.

3

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"No, they are. Just don’t mess with their names."Just then a call echoed in the distance. "Jacob?" someone shouted.

4

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"Is that Billy?" I asked.

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"No." Jacob ducked his head, and it looked like he was blushing under his brown skin. "Speak of thedevil," he mumbled, "and the devil shall appear.""Jake? Are you out here?" The shouting voice was closer now.

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"Yeah!" Jacob shouted back, and sighed.

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We waited through the short silence until two tall, dark-skinned boys strolled around the corner into theshed.

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One was slender, and almost as tall as Jacob. His black hair was chin-length and parted down themiddle, one side tucked behind his left ear while the right side swung free. The shorter boy was moreburly. His white T-shirt strained over his well-developed chest, and he seemed gleefully conscious of thatfact. His hair was so short it was almost a buzz.

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Both boys stopped short when they saw me. The thin boy glanced swiftly back and forth between Jacoband me, while the brawny boy kept his eyes on me, a slow smile spreading across his face.

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"Hey, guys," Jacob greeted them halfheartedly.

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"Hey, Jake," the short one said without looking away from me. I had to smile in response, his grin was soimpish. When I did, he winked at me. "Hi, there.""Quil, Embry—this is my friend, Bella."Quil and Embry, I still didn’t know which was which, exchanged a loaded look.

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"Charlie’s kid, right?" the brawny boy asked me, holding out his hand.

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"That’s right," I confirmed, shaking hands with him. His grasp was firm; it looked like he was flexing hisbicep.

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"I’m Quil Ateara," he announced grandly before releasing my hand.

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"Nice to meet you, Quil.""Hey, Bella. I’m Embry, Embry Call—you probably already figured that out, though." Embry smiled a shysmile and waved with one hand, which he then shoved in the pocket of his jeans.

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I nodded. "Nice to meet you, too." "So what are you guys doing?" Quil asked, still looking at me.

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"Bella and I are going to fix up these bikes," Jacob explained inaccurately. But bikes seemed to be themagic word. Both boys went to examine Jacob’s project, drilling him with educated questions. Many ofthe words they used were unfamiliar to me, and I figured I’d have to have a Y chromosome to reallyunderstand the excitement.

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They were still immersed in talk of parts and pieces when I decided that I needed to head back homebefore Charlie showed up here. With a sigh, I slid out of the Rabbit.

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Jacob looked up, apologetic. "We’re boring you, aren’t we?""Naw." And it wasn’t a lie. I was enjoying myself—how strange. "I just have to go cook dinner forCharlie.""Oh… well, I’ll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out what more we’ll need to get startedrebuilding them. When do you want to work on them again?""Could I come back tomorrow?" Sundays were the bane of my existence. There was never enoughhomework to keep me busy.

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Quil nudged Embry’s arm and they exchanged grins.

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Jacob smiled in delight. "That would be great!""If you make a list, we can go shop for parts," I suggested.

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Jacob’s face fell a little. "I’m still not sure I should let you pay for everything."I shook my head. "No way. I’m bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labor and expertise."Embry rolled his eyes at Quil.

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"That doesn’t seem right," Jacob shook his head.

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"Jake, if I took these to a mechanic, how much would he charge me?" I pointed out.

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He smiled. "Okay, you’re getting a deal.""Not to mention the riding lessons," I added.

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Quil grinned widely at Embry and whispered something I didn’t catch. Jacob’s hand flashed out to smackthe back of Quil’s head. "That’s it, get out," he muttered.

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"No, really, I have to go," I protested, heading for the door. "I’ll see you tomorrow, Jacob."As soon as I was out of sight, I heard Quil and Embry chorus, "Wooooo!"The sound of a brief scuffle followed, interspersed with an "ouch" and a "hey!""If either of you set so much as one toe on my land tomorrow…" I heard Jacob threaten. His voice waslost as I walked through the trees.

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I giggled quietly. The sound made my eyes widen in wonder. I was laughing, actually laughing, and therewasn’t even anyone watching. I felt so weightless that I laughed again, just make the feeling last longer.

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I beat Charlie home. When he walked in I was just taking the fried chicken out of the pan and laying it ona pile of paper towels.

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"Hey, Dad." I flashed him a grin.

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Shock flitted across his face before he pulled his expression together. "Hey, honey," he said, his voiceuncertain. "Did you have fun with Jacob?"I started moving the food to the table. "Yeah, I did.""Well, that’s good." He was still cautious. "What did you two do?"Now it was my turn to be cautious. "I hung out in his garage and watched him work. Did you know he’srebuilding a Volkswagen?""Yeah, I think Billy mentioned that."The interrogation had to stop when Charlie began chewing, but he continued to study my face as he ate.

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After dinner, I dithered around, cleaning the kitchen twice, and then did my homework slowly in the frontroom while Charlie watched a hockey game. I waited as long as I could, but finally Charlie mentioned thelate hour. When I didn’t respond, he got up, stretched, and then left, turning out the light behind him.

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Reluctantly, I followed.

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As I climbed the stairs, I felt the last of the afternoon’s abnormal sense of well-being drain from mysystem, replaced by a dull fear at the thought of what I was going to have to live through now.

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I wasn’t numb anymore. Tonight would, no doubt, be as horrific as last night. I lay down on my bed andcurled into a ball in preparation for the onslaught. I squeezed my eyes shut and… the next thing I next Iknew, it was morning.

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I stared at the pale silver light coming through my window, stunned.

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For the first time in more than four months, I’d slept without dreaming. Dreaming or screaming. I couldn’ttell which emotion was stronger—the relief or the shock.

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I lay still in my bed for a few minutes, waiting for it to come back. Because something must be coming. Ifnot the pain, then the numbness. I waited, but nothing happened. I felt more rested than I had in a longtime.

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I didn’t trust this to last. It was a slippery, precarious edge that I balanced on, and it wouldn’t take muchto knock me back down. Just glancing around my room with these suddenly clear eyes—noticing howstrange it looked, too tidy, like I didn’t live here at all—was dangerous.

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I pushed that thought from my mind, and concentrated, as I got dressed, on the fact that I was going tosee Jacob again today. The thought made me feel almost… hopeful. Maybe it would be the same asyesterday. Maybe I wouldn’t have to remind myself to look interested and to nod or smile at appropriateintervals, the way I had to with everyone else. Maybe… but I wouldn’t trust this to last, either. Wouldn’ttrust it to be the same—so easy—as yesterday. I wasn’t going to set myself up for disappointment likethat.

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At breakfast, Charlie was being careful, too. He tried to hide his scrutiny, keeping his eyes on his eggsuntil he thought I wasn’t looking.

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"What are you up to today?" he asked, eyeing a loose thread on the edge of his cuff like he wasn’t payingmuch attention to my answer.

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"I’m going to hang out with Jacob again."He nodded without looking up. "Oh," he said.

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"Do you mind?" I pretended to worry. "I could stay…"He glanced up quickly, a hint of panic in his eyes. "No, no! You go ahead. Harry was going to come upto watch the game with me anyway.""Maybe Harry could give Billy a ride up," I suggested. The fewer witnesses the better.

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"That’s a great idea."I wasn’t sure if the game was just an excuse for kicking me out, but he looked excited enough now. Heheaded to the phone while I donned my rain jacket. I felt self-conscious with the checkbook shoved inmy jacket pocket. It was something I never used.

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Outside, the rain came down like water slopped from a bucket. I had to drive more slowly than I wantedto; I could hardly see a car length in front of the truck. But I finally made it through the muddy lanes toJacob’s house. Before I’d killed the engine, the front door opened and Jacob came running out with ahuge black umbrella.

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He held it over my door while I opened it.

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"Charlie called—said you were on your way," Jacob explained with a grin.

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Effortlessly, without a conscious command to the muscles around my lips, my answering smile spreadacross my face. A strange feeling of warmth bubbled up in my throat, despite the icy rain splattering onmy cheeks.

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"Hi, Jacob.""Good call on inviting Billy up." He held up his hand for a high five.

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I had to reach so high to slap his hand that he laughed.

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Harry showed up to get Billy just a few minutes later. Jacob took me on a brief tour of his tiny roomwhile we waited to be unsupervised.

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"So where to, Mr. Goodwrench?" I asked as soon as the door closed behind Billy.

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Jacob pulled a folded paper out of his pocket and smoothed it out. "We’ll start at the dump first, see ifwe can get lucky. This could get a little expensive," he warned me. "Those bikes are going to need a lotof help before they’ll run again." My face didn’t look worried enough, so he continued. "I’m talking aboutmaybe more than a hundred dollars here."I pulled my checkbook out, fanned myself with it, and rolled my eyes at his worries. "We’re covered."It was a very strange kind of day. I enjoyed myself. Even at the dump, in the slopping rain andankle-deep mud. I wondered at first if it was just the aftershock of losing the numbness, but I didn’t thinkthat was enough of an explanation.

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I was beginning to think it was mostly Jacob. It wasn’t just that he was always so happy to see me, orthat he didn’t watch me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for me to do something that would mark meas crazy or depressed. It was nothing that related to me at all.

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It was Jacob himself. Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness withhim like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone waswithin his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I wasso eager to see him.

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Even when he commented on the gaping hole in my dashboard, it didn’t send me into a panic like itshould have.

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"Did the stereo break?" he wondered.

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"Yeah," I lied.

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He poked around in the cavity. "Who took it out? There’s a lot of damage…""I did," I admitted.

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He laughed. "Maybe you shouldn’t touch the motorcycles too much.""No problem."According to Jacob, we did get lucky at the dump. He was very excited about several grease-blackenedpieces of twisted metal that he found; I was just impressed that he could tell what they were supposed tobe.

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From there we went to the Checker Auto Parts down in Hoquiam. In my truck, it was more than a twohour drive south on the winding freeway, but the time passed easily with Jacob. He chattered about hisfriends and his school, and I found myself asking questions, not even pretending, truly curious to hearwhat he had to say.

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"I’m doing all the talking," he complained after a long story about Quil and the trouble he’d stirred up byasking out a senior’s steady girlfriend. "Why don’t you take a turn? What’s going on in Forks? It has to bemore exciting than La Push.""Wrong," I sighed. "There’s really nothing. Your friends are a lot more interesting than mine. I like yourfriends. Quil’s funny."He frowned. "I think Quil likes you, too."I laughed. "He’s a little young for me."Jacob’s frown deepened. "He’s not that much younger than you. It’s just a year and a few months."I had a feeling we weren’t talking about Quil anymore. I kept my voice light, teasing. "Sure, but,considering the difference in maturity between guys and girls, don’t you have to count that in dog years?

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What does that make me, about twelve years older?"He laughed, rolling his eyes. "Okay, but if you’re going to get picky like that, you have to average in size,too. You’re so small, I’ll have to knock ten years off your total.""Five foot four is perfectly average." I sniffed. "It’s not my fault you’re a freak." We bantered like that till Hoquiam, still arguing over the correct formula to determine age—I lost twomore years because I didn’t know how to change a tire, but gained one back for being in charge of thebookkeeping at my house—until we were in Checker, and Jacob had to concentrate again. We foundeverything left on his list, and Jacob felt confident that he could make a lot of progress with our haul.

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By the time we got back to La Push, I was twenty-three and he was thirty—he was definitely weightingskills in his favor.

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I hadn’t forgotten the reason for what I was doing. And, even though I was enjoying myself more than I’dthought possible, there was no lessening of my original desire. I still wanted to cheat. It was senseless,and I really didn’t care. I was going to be as reckless as I could possibly manage in Forks. I would notbe the only keeper of an empty contract. Getting to spend time with Jacob was just a much bigger perkthan I’d expected.

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Billy wasn’t back yet, so we didn’t have to be sneaky about unloading our day’s spoils. As soon as wehad everything laid out on the plastic floor next to Jacob’s toolbox, he went right to work, still talking andlaughing while his fingers combed expertly through the metal pieces in front of him.

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Jacob’s skill with his hands was fascinating. They looked too big for the delicate tasks they performedwith ease and precision. While he worked, he seemed almost graceful. Unlike when he was on his feet;there, his height and big feet made him nearly as dangerous as I was.

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Quil and Embry did not show up, so maybe his threat yesterday had been taken seriously.

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The day passed too quickly. It got dark outside the mouth of the garage before I was expecting it, andthen we heard Billy calling for us.

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I jumped up to help Jacob put things away, hesitating because I wasn’t sure what I should touch.

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"Just leave it," he said. "I’ll work on it later tonight.""Don’t forget your schoolwork or anything," I said, feeling a little guilty. I didn’t want him to get in trouble.

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That plan was just for me.

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"Bella?"Both our heads snapped up as Charlie’s familiar voice wafted through the trees, sounding closer than thehouse.

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"Shoot," I muttered. "Coming!" I yelled toward the house.

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"Let’s go." Jacob smiled, enjoying the cloak-and-dagger. He snapped the light off, and for a moment Iwas blind. Jacob grabbed my hand and towed me out of the garage and through the trees, his feet findingthe familiar path easily. His hand was rough, and very warm.

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Despite the path, we were both tripping over our feet in the darkness. So we were also both laughingwhen the house came into view. The laughter did not go deep; it was light and superficial, but still nice. Iwas sure he wouldn’t notice the faint hint of hysteria. I wasn’t used to laughing, and it felt right and alsovery wrong at the same time.

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Charlie was standing under the little back porch, and Billy was sitting in the doorway behind them.

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"Hey, Dad," we both said at the same time, and that started us laughing again.

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Charlie stared at me with wide eyes that flashed down to note Jacob’s hand around mine.

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"Billy invited us for dinner," Charlie said to us in an absentminded tone.

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"My super secret recipe for spaghetti. Handed down for generations," Billy said gravely.

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Jacob snorted. "I don’t think Ragu’s actually been around that long."The house was crowded. Harry Clearwater was there, too, with his family—his wife, Sue, whom I knewvaguely from my childhood summers in Forks, and his two children. Leah was a senior like me, but ayear older. She was beautiful in an exotic way—perfect copper skin, glistening black hair, eyelashes likefeather dusters—and preoccupied. She was on Billy’s phone when we got in, and she never let it go.

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Seth was fourteen; he hung on Jacob’s every word with idolizing eyes.

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There were too many of us for the kitchen table, so Charlie and Harry brought chairs out to the yard, andwe ate spaghetti off plates on our laps in the dim light from Billy’s open door. The men talked about thegame, and Harry and Charlie made fishing plans. Sue teased her husband about his cholesterol and tried,unsuccessfully, to shame him into eating something green and leafy. Jacob talked mostly to me and Seth,who interrupted eagerly whenever Jacob seemed in danger of forgetting him. Charlie watched me, tryingto be inconspicuous about it, with pleased but cautious eyes.

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It was loud and sometimes confusing as everyone talked over everyone else, and the laughter from onejoke interrupted the telling of another. I didn’t have to speak often, but I smiled a lot, and only because Ifelt like it.

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I didn’t want to leave.

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This was Washington, though, and the inevitable rain eventually broke up the party; Billy’s living roomwas much too small to provide an option for continuing the get-together. Harry had driven Charlie down,so we rode together in my truck on the way back home. He asked about my day, and I told mostly thetruth—that I’d gone with Jacob to look at parts and then watched him work in his garage.

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"You think you’ll visit again anytime soon?" he wondered, trying to be casual about it.

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"Tomorrow after school," I admitted. "I’ll take homework, don’t worry.""You be sure to do that," he ordered, trying to disguise his satisfaction.

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I was nervous when we got to the house. I didn’t want to go upstairs. The warmth of Jacob’s presencewas fading and, in its absence, the anxiety grew stronger. I was sure I wouldn’t get away with twopeaceful nights of sleep in a row.

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To put bedtime off, I checked my e-mail; there was a new message from Renee.

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She wrote about her day, a new book club that rilled the time slot of the meditation classes she’d justquit, her week subbing in the second grade, missing her kindergarteners. She wrote that Phil wasenjoying his new coaching job, and that they were planning a second honeymoon trip to Disney World.

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And I noticed that the whole thing read like a journal entry, rather than a letter to someone else. Remorseflooded through me, leaving an uncomfortable sting behind. Some daughter I was.

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I wrote back to her quickly, commenting on each part of her letter, volunteering information of myown—describing the spaghetti party at Billy’s and how I felt watching Jacob build useful things out ofsmall pieces of metal—awed and slightly envious. I made no reference to the change this letter would be from the ones she’d received in the last several months. I could barely remember what I’d written to hereven as recently as last week, but I was sure it wasn’t very responsive. The more I thought about it, theguiltier I felt; I really must have worried her.

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I stayed up extra late after that, finishing more homework than strictly necessary. But neither sleepdeprivation nor the time spent with Jacob—being almost happy in a shallow kind of way—could keepthe dream away for two nights in a row.

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I woke shuddering, my scream muffled by the pillow.

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As the dim morning light filtered through the fog outside my window, I lay still in bed and tried to shakeoff the dream. There had been a small difference last night, and I concentrated on that.

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Last night I had not been alone in the woods. Sam Uley—the man who had pulled me from the forestfloor that night I couldn’t bear to think of consciously—was there. It was an odd, unexpected alteration.

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The man’s dark eyes had been surprisingly unfriendly, filled with some secret he didn’t seem inclined toshare. I’d stared at him as often as my frantic searching had allowed; it made me uncomfortable, under allthe usual panic, to have him there. Maybe that was because, when I didn’t look directly at him, his shapeseemed to shiver and change in my peripheral vision. Yet he did nothing but stand and watch. Unlike thetime when we had met in reality, he did not offer me his help.

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Charlie stared at me during breakfast, and I tried to ignore him. I supposed I deserved it. I couldn’texpect him not to worry. It would probably be weeks before he stopped watching for the return of thezombie, and I would just have to try to not let it bother me. After all, I would be watching for the returnof the zombie, too. Two days was hardly long enough to call me cured.

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School was the opposite. Now that I was paying attention, it was clear that no one was watching here.

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I remembered the first day I’d come to Forks High School—how desperately I’d wished that I could turngray, fade into the wet concrete of the sidewalk like an oversized chameleon. It seemed I was getting thatwish answered, a year late.

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It was like I wasn’t there. Even my teachers’ eyes slid past my seat as if it were empty.

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I listened all through the morning, hearing once again the voices of the people around me. I tried to catchup on what was going on, but the conversations were so disjointed that I gave up.

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Jessica didn’t look up when I sat down next to her in Calculus.

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"Hey, Jess," I said with put-on nonchalance. "How was the rest of your weekend?"She looked at me with suspicious eyes. Could she still be angry? Or was she just too impatient to dealwith a crazy person?

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"Super," she said, turning back to her book.

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"That’s good," I mumbled.

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The figure of speech cold shoulder seemed to have some literal truth to it. I could feel the warm airblowing from the floor vents, but I was still too cold. I took the jacket off the back of my chair and put iton again.

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My fourth hour class got out late, and the lunch table I always sat at was full by the time I arrived. Mikewas there, Jessica and Angela, Conner, Tyler, Eric and Lauren. Katie Marshall, the redheaded junior who lived around the corner from me, was sitting with Eric, and Austin Marks—older brother to the boywith the motorcycles—was next to her. I wondered how long they’d been sitting here, unable toremember if this was the first day or something that was a regular habit.

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I was beginning to get annoyed with myself. I might as well have been packed in Styrofoam peanutsthrough the last semester.

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No one looked up when I sat down next to Mike, even though the chair squealed stridently against thelinoleum as I dragged it back.

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I tried to catch up with the conversation.

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Mike and Conner were talking sports, so I gave up on that one at once.

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"Where’s Ben today?" Lauren was asking Angela. I perked up, interested. I wondered if that meantAngela and Ben were still together.

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I barely recognized Lauren. She’d cut off all her blond, corn-silk hair—now she had a pixie cut so shortthat the back was shaved like a boy. What an odd thing for her to do. I wished I knew the reason behindit. Did she get gum stuck in it? Did she sell it? Had all the people she was habitually nasty to caught herbehind the gym and scalped her? I decided it wasn’t fair for me to judge her now by my former opinion.

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For all I knew, she’d turned into a nice person.

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"Ben’s got the stomach flu," Angela said in her quiet, calm voice. "Hopefully it’s just some twenty-fourhour thing. He was really sick last night."Angela had changed her hair, too. She’d grown out her layers.

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"What did you two do this weekend?" Jessica asked, not sounding as if she cared about the answer. I’dbet that this was just an opener so she could tell her own stories. I wondered if she would talk about PortAngeles with me sitting two seats away? Was I that invisible, that no one would feel uncomfortablediscussing me while I was here?

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"We were going to have a picnic Saturday, actually, but… we changed our minds," Angela said. Therewas an edge to her voice that caught my interest.

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Jess, not so much. "That’s too bad," she said, about to launch into her story. But I wasn’t the only onewho was paying attention.

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"What happened?" Lauren asked curiously.

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"Well," Angela said, seeming more hesitant than usual, though she was always reserved, "we drove upnorth, almost to the hot springs—there’s a good spot just about a mile up the trail. But, when we werehalfway there… we saw something.""Saw something? What?" Lauren’s pale eyebrows pulled together. Even Jess seemed to be listening now.

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"I don’t know," Angela said. "We think it was a bear. It was black, anyway, but it seemed… too big."Lauren snorted. "Oh, not you, too!" Her eyes turned mocking, and I decided I didn’t need to give her thebenefit of the doubt. Obviously her personality had not changed as much as her hair. "Tyler tried to sellme that one last week.""You’re not going to see any bears that close to the resort," Jessica said, siding with Lauren.

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"Really," Angela protested in a low voice, looking down at the table. "We did see it."Lauren snickered. Mike was still talking to Conner, not paying attention to the girls.

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"No, she’s right," I threw in impatiently. "We had a hiker in just Saturday who saw the bear, too, Angela.

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He said it was huge and black and just outside of town, didn’t he, Mike?"There was a moment of silence. Every pair of eyes at the table turned to stare at me in shock. The newgirl, Katie, had her mouth hanging open like she’d just witnessed an explosion. Nobody moved.

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"Mike?" I muttered, mortified. "Remember the guy with the bear story?""S-sure," Mike stuttered after a second. I didn’t know why he was looking at me so strangely. I talked tohim at work, didn’t I? Did I? I thought so…Mike recovered. "Yeah, there was a guy who said he saw a huge black bear right at thetrailhead—bigger than a grizzly," he confirmed.

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"Hmph." Lauren turned to Jessica, her shoulders stiff, and changed the subject.

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"Did you hear back from USC?" she asked.

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Everyone else looked away, too, except for Mike and Angela. Angela smiled at me tentatively, and Ihurried to return the smile.

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"So, what did you do this weekend, Bella?" Mike asked, curious, but oddly wary.

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Everyone but Lauren looked back, waiting for my response.

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"Friday night, Jessica and I went to a movie in Port Angeles. And then I spent Saturday afternoon andmost of Sunday down at La Push."The eyes flickered to Jessica and back to me. Jess looked irritated. I wondered if she didn’t want anyoneto know she’d gone out with me, or whether she just wanted to be the one to tell the story.

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"What movie did you see?" Mike asked, starting to smile.

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"Dead End—the one with the zombies." I grinned in encouragement. Maybe some of the damage I’ddone in these past zombie months was reparable.

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"I heard that was scary. Did you think so?" Mike was eager to continue the conversation.

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"Bella had to leave at the end, she was so freaked," Jessica inserted with a sly smile.

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I nodded, trying to look embarrassed. "It was pretty scary."Mike didn’t stop asking me questions till lunch was over. Gradually, the others were able to start up theirown conversations again, though they still looked at me a lot. Angela talked mostly to Mike and me, and,when I got up to dump my tray, she followed.

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"Thanks," she said in a low voice when we were away from the table.

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"For what?""Speaking up, sticking up for me." "No problem."She looked at me with concern, but not the offensive, maybe-she’s-lost-it kind. "Are you okay?"This is why I’d picked Jessica over Angela—though I’d always liked Angela more—for the girls’ nightmovie. Angela was too perceptive.

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"Not completely," I admitted. "But I’m a little bit better.""I’m glad," she said. "I’ve missed you."Lauren and Jessica strolled by us then, and I heard Lauren whisper loudly, "Oh, joy Bella’s back."Angela rolled her eyes at them, and smiled at me in encouragement.

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I sighed It was like I was starting all over again.

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"What’s today’s date?" I wondered suddenly.

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"It’s January nineteenth.""Hmm.""What is it?" Angela asked.

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"It was a year ago yesterday that I had my first day here," I mused.

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"Nothing’s changed much," Angela muttered, looking after Lauren and Jessica.

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"I know, I agreed I was just thinking the same thing."

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