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纳尼亚传奇1：魔法师的外甥|The Magician‘s Nephew

第10章|Chapter 10

属类： 双语小说 【分类】魔幻小说 -[作者: 路易斯] 阅读：[7908]
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10、第一个笑柄及其他

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当然，这是狮子的声音。孩子们早就觉得狮子会说话，但当它开口时，他们还是兴奋地吃了一惊。

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原始的野人从树后走了出来，树神、农牧神、森林之神和小矮人。河神和他的女儿——仙女们——从河里出来。他们和所有的野兽及鸟儿用或高或低、或浑厚或渭晰的声音回答：

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“好啊！阿斯兰。我们听见了。我们服从你。我们醒了。我们爱，我们想，我们说话，我们懂了。”

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“但是，我们还不是太懂。”一个带鼻音的声音说。孩子们几乎跳了起来．因为说话的正是那匹拉车的马。

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“老‘草莓’，好样的，”波莉说，“我很高兴它被选作会说话的野兽之一。”站在孩子们身边的马车夫说：“这太让我高兴了，不过，我以前就总说这匹马很有灵性。”

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“动物们，我把你们自己给了你们，”阿斯兰愉悦、有力的声音说，“我把纳尼亚这片土地永久地给了你们。我给你们树木、果实和河流。给你们星星以及我自己。我没有挑选的哑兽也是你们的。要善待它们，珍惜它们。但不要回到它们中去，除非你们不再是会说话的野兽。因为你们是从它们中选出来的，回到它们中就和它们一样了。不要回去。”

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“不，阿斯兰，我们不会回去。”众口齐声回答。但一只鲁莽的寒鸦又高声加了句：“当然不会！”因为大伙儿都住口了它才说，所以，在一片寂静中，它的声音格外清楚。也许，你也知道，在一个聚会上这会很糟糕的。寒鸦尴尬极了，像睡觉一样把头埋在翅膀里，其他的动物开始发出各种各样的笑声，而这些声音，在我们的世界里是从来没有听见过的。起先，它们还想憋住，但阿斯兰说：

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“别怕，笑吧，动物们，既然你们不再是哑巴，不再愚钝，就不该总是沉默不语。因为有了语言，就会有公道，也就会有玩笑。”

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于是动物们无拘无束地笑起来了。在这种活跃、愉快的气氛中，那只寒鸦又鼓足勇气，跳上拉车马的头，站存马的两耳之间，拍着翅膀说道：

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“阿斯兰！阿斯兰！我开了第一个玩笑吗？是不是以后大家都会知道我是怎样开第一个玩笑的？"

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“不，小朋友，”狮子说，“你没有开第一个玩笑，你成了第一个笑柄。”其他的动物比刚才笑得更厉害了。但寒鸦满不在乎，也跟着大声地笑，直到马一摇头，它站立不稳掉了下来．但在落地之前想起了翅膀，便飞了起来（对它来说，翅膀还没用过呢）。

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“现在，”阿斯兰说，“纳尼亚建立了。下一步，我们就要想方设法保卫它的安全。我将从你们中挑选一些组成我的顾问班子。过来，你，小矮人头领．你，河神，你，橡树神和雄猫头鹰，你们两只渡鸦，还有公象。我们必须一起议事。虽然这个世界的成立还没有五小时，一个恶魔已经进来了。”它选出的动物走上前来，随着它向东走去。其余的则开始议论：“它说什么已经进入我们这个世界了？什么‘镆’？到底是啥？——不，它没说什么‘镆’．它说的是什么‘果’。到底是什么？”

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“唉呀，”迪格雷对波莉说，“我得跟着去——阿斯兰，就是那狮子。我必须和它谈谈。”

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“你认为我们能去吗？”波莉说，“我不敢。”

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“我不能不去，”迪格雷说，“为了妈妈。如果谁能提供给她治病的东西，那么肯定是它。”

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“我和你们一起去吧，”马车夫说，“我很喜欢它的样子．我想和老‘草莓’说句话。我不指望别的那些动物会来邀请我们。”

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他们三人大胆地——或者说，壮着胆子——向动物群中走去。动物们正忙着互相谈话和交朋友，直到这三人走近才发现。它们当然也没有听见安德鲁舅舅；他穿着扣得紧紧的鞋子在发抖，站在远处大叫（但并没有使出最大的劲）。

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“迪格雷！回来，听我的话立即回来。我不许你再往前走一步。”

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当他们最后走到动物中时，动物们全都停止说话，注视着他们：

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“唔，”雄河狸终于说，“以阿斯兰的名义，这些是什么？”

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“对不起。”迪格雷呼吸急促地刚想说下去，一只兔子接嘴道，“他们是一种大篱昔，我相信。”

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“不，我们不是，确实不是。”波莉急忙说，“我们不是可以吃的东西。”

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“哈！”鼹鼠说，”“他们能说话！谁听说过莴苣能说话？”

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“也许他们是第二个笑柄。”寒鸦说。

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一头一直在洗脸的黑豹踌躇了一下，说道，“嗯，如果是的话，也没有第一个好笑。至少，我看不出他们有什么可笑之处。”它打了一个呵欠，又继续洗脸。

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“噢，对不起，”迪格雷说，“我很着急。我想见见狮子。

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马车夫一直存试着吸引“草莓”的目光。终子，它看见他了。“‘草莓’，好朋友，”他说，“你认识我。你不会往那儿一站就说不认识我吧，”

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“那玩意儿在说什么，马？”几个声音问道。

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“嗯，”“草莓”慢吞吞地说，“我不太清楚。我认为我们中的大多数都还不知道多少事情。但我觉得，我以前见过类似的这种玩意儿。我有种感觉，我过去住存别的什么地方——或者说，是另外一种东两——在阿斯兰几分钟前唤醒我们之前。一切都混混沌沌的，像一个梦，但梦里有很像他们三个的玩意儿。”

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“什么？”马车夫说，“你不认识我，就是我，在你不舒服时拿谷糖给你当晚餐，就是我给你梳理鬃毛，你居然不认识我？你站在冷地方我从没忘记给你盖点儿什么，没想到你会说出这种话，‘草莓’。”

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“真的想起来了。”马沉思着，“是的。让我想想，想想。对了，你过去老是把一个可怕的黑东西绑在我后面，然后打着我往前跑。不管我跑多远，那黑东西都一直在我后面哐啷哐啷地拖着。”’

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“我们不得不挣钱过日子，”马车夫说，“你我是一根藤上的苦瓜。要是不干活儿不挨鞭子，就不会有马厩和干草，不会有谷糖和燕麦。我买得起燕麦的时候，你就能尝到一点儿。这一点谁也不能否认。”

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“燕麦？”马竖起耳朵说，“对，我记得有那种东西。是的，我记得的事儿越来越多了。你以前总是坐在我后面的一个地方，而我总在前面跑，拉着你和那黑东西。我知道，所有的活儿都是我在干。”

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“夏天，我承认，”马车夫说，“你干活儿很热，我坐在凉快的地方。可冬天呢，好朋友。你能一直让自己暖和，我却坐在那儿，脚冻得像冰棍似的，鼻子都快让风给刮掉了，手也二东僵了，差点儿抓不住缰绳。”

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“那是个难以忍受的残酷的国家，”“草薄”说，“那儿没有草，全是硬硬的石头。”

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“太对了，朋友，太对了！”马车夫说，‘那是个难以忍受的世界。我过去总说那些铺路石对任何马都不合适。那就是伦敦。我和你一样不喜欢。你是匹乡下马，我是个乡下人。过去我经常在教堂唱诗班里唱歌，我唱过，在老家。但在那儿没法活下去。”

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“对不起，对不起，”迪格雷说，“我们继续往前走好吗？狮子越来越远了，我太想跟它说话了。”

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“听我说，‘草莓’”马车夫说，“这个小先生有些心里话想对狮子讲，就是你们的阿斯兰。我想请你驮着他（他会很感谢你的）去找狮子。我和这小女孩在后面跟着。”8 # t(

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“驮？”“草莓”说，“噢，我想起来了。这就是说，坐在我背上。我记得很久以前，常有一个像你这样的两条腿的小动物坐在我上面。他常给我吃一种白色的硬硬的小方块。吃起来——唔，妙极了，比草甜。’

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“哦，那是糖。”马车夫说。

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“‘草莓’，请，”迪格雷央求道，“让……让我上去吧，带我去找阿斯兰。”

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“好，我不介意，”马说，“不介意驮你一次。上来吧。”

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“老‘草莓’，好样的。”马车夫说，“来，年轻人，我托你一把。”迪格雷很快上了“草莓”的背，他感到舒服极了，因为他以前曾骑过自己那匹小马驹的光背。*

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“好了，走吧，‘草莓’。”他说。

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“我想，你身上没带那种白色的小方块吧？”马说。

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“恐怕没带。”迪格雷说。

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“唉，没办法了。”“草游”说着，迈步向前走。就在那时，一条大公狗认真地嗅了一阵，又看了很久说道：

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“瞧，那不是还有一个这种奇怪的东西吗？——在那儿，河边，树下。”

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所有的动物都朝那边看去，看见安德鲁舅舅笔挺地站在杜鹃花丛中，生怕被人发现。

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“走”，几个声音说，“过去看看。”当“草莓”带着迪格雷轻快地朝一个方向跑去时（波莉和马车夫走在后面），大多数动物一路吼叫若、狂吠着、咕哝着，发出各种兴高采烈的声音，向安德住舅舅奔去。

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我们必须回过头去从安德鲁舅舅的角度来解释眼前发生的事。他的印象跟马车夫和孩子们的完全不同；因为一个人的见闻很大程度上取决于他所站的立场，以及他是哪种人$

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自从动物们最初出现以来，安德每舅舅就一步一步地朝灌木丛退去。当然，他也仔细地看着它们；并不是对它们所做的事然兴趣，而是看它们会不会朝自己跑来。像女巫一样，他极端实际，根本没注意到阿斯兰从每种动物里选出一对，他只看见，或者自认为只看见，许多危险的野兽乱七八糟地走来走去。他一直感到纳闷的是，为什么其他动物不逃离那头巨狮。

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山于一个十分滑稽的原因，他错过了野兽们开口说话的伟大时刻。很久以前，当狮子最初开始歌唱时，天还很黑，他也意识到那声音是一首歌。他很不喜欢那首歌。它使他想起并感觉到他不愿想也不愿感觉的事情。后来，当太阳升起时，他看见歌者是一头狮子（“只不过是一头狮子，”他对自己说）。他竭尽全力使自己相信它不是在唱歌．并且从来就没有唱过歌——只有我们这个世界的动物园里任何狮子都会发出的吼声。“当然，它不可能唱歌，”他想，“是我的想像，我的神经有毛病了。谁听见过狮子唱歌？”狮子唱得愈久愈动听．他就愈加努力地使自己相信他听到的不过是吼叫。麻烦的是，你想使自己比实际上更思蠢一些的时候．往往能够成功。安德鲁舅舅就是这样。很快，他从阿斯兰的歌声中便只听见狮吼了。即使他想听，也听不出别的内容。最后，当翻子张口说“纳尼亚醒来”时，他除了一声咆哮外什么也没听见。当动物们回答阿斯兰时，他也只听见一阵混杂不清的叫声。而当它们开口笑时——你可以想像，这对安德鲁鲁舅来说是最最可怕的事情。他一辈子从来没有听见过饥饿发狂的野兽发出如此恐怖、如此残忍的杀气腾腾的喧嚣声。过后，他看到那三个人真的朝开阔地早的动物们走去时，便感到愤怒和害怕极了。

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“蠢货！”他自言自语道，“这下，那些畜生会把两个孩子连戒指一起吃掉，我再也不能回家了。迪格雷这小鬼多么自私！其他那几个也一样坏。如果他们想丢命，那是他们的事。可是我呢，他们好像就没想过。没有人想到我。”最后，当一大群动物朝他跑去时，他转身逃命去了。任何人都看得出，年轻世界的空气确实对这老先生大有裨益。在伦敦，他已经老得跑不动了，而现在，他的速度完全能拿下英格兰仔何一个预备学校百米赛的冠军。他的衣摆在身后飘来荡去，十分好看。但当然毫无用处。动物中有不少跑得很快，这又是它们有生以来第一次奔跑，便都如饥似渴地想练练自己的新肌肉。“追！追上他！”它们大叫，“也许他就是那个什么‘镆’！嗬！快跑！截住他！包围他！坚持！快跑！”

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几分钟后，一些动物就超过了他。它们排起来断了他的去路，其他动物从后面追上将他包围。他无论从哪个方向看去，都感到可怕极了大麋子的角和大象庞大的脸高耸在他面前。那些笨重而严肃的熊和公野猪在后面咆哮。表情冷漠的黑豹和花豹讥讽地（他这么想）摇着尾巴，盯着他。最令他心惊肉跳的是那么多张大的嘴。动物们张口是为了喘气，他却认为是要吃他。

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安德鲁舅舅东摇西摆地站在那里，浑身发抖。即使在最安全的时候，他也不喜欢动物；他总是对它们感到恐惧。当然，长年累月地用动物做试验也使他更加憎恨和害怕它们。

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“先生，那么，”那条公狗用公小公办的口吻说，“你是动物、植物还是矿物？”它的确说出了这些话，但安德鲁舅舅只听见“汪——汪——汪——”的叫声。"

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THE FIRST JOKE AND OTHER MATTERS

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IT was of course the Lion’s voice. The children had long felt sure that he could speak: yet it was a lovely and terrible shock when he did.

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Out of the trees wild people stepped forth, gods and goddesses of the wood; with them came Fauns and Satyrs and Dwarfs. Out of the river rose the river god with his Naiad daughters. And all these and all the beasts and birds in their different voices, low or high or thick or clear, replied:

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"Hail, Aslan. We hear and obey. We are awake. We love. We think. We speak. We know."

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"But please, we don’t know very much yet," said a nosey and snorty kind of voice. And that really did make the children jump, for it was the cab-horse who had spoken.

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"Good old Strawberry," said Polly. "I am glad he was one of the ones picked out to be a Talking Beast." And the Cabby, who was now standing beside the children, said, "Strike me pink. I always did say that ’oss ’ad a lot of sense, though."

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"Creatures, I give you yourselves," said the strong, happy voice of Aslan. "I give to you forever this land of Narnia. I give you the woods, the fruits, the rivers. I give you the stars and I give you myself. The Dumb Beasts whom I have not chosen are yours also. Treat them gently and cherish them but do not go back to their ways lest you cease to be Talking Beasts. For out of them you were taken and into them you can return. Do not so."

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"No, Aslan, we won’t, we won’t," said everyone. But one perky Jackdaw added in a loud voice, "No fear!" and everyone else had finished just before he said it so that his words came out quite clear in a dead silence; and perhaps you have found out how awful that can be - say, at a party. The Jackdaw became so embarrassed that it hid its head under its wings as if it was going to sleep. And all the other animals began making various queer noises which are their ways of laughing and which, of course, no one has ever heard in our world. They tried at first to repress it, but Aslan said:

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"Laugh and fear not, creatures. Now that you are no longer dumb and witless, you need not always be grave. For jokes as well as justice come in with speech."

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So they all let themselves go. And there was such merriment that the Jackdaw himself plucked up courage again and perched on the cab-horse’s head, between its ears, clapping its wings, and said:

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"Aslan! Aslan! Have I made the first joke? Will everybody always be told how I made the first joke?"

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"No, little friend," said the Lion. "You have not made the first joke; you have only been the first joke." Then everyone laughed more than ever; but the Jackdaw didn’t mind and laughed just as loud till the horse shook its head and the Jackdaw lost its balance and fell off, but remembered its wings (they were still new to it) before it reached the ground.

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"And now," said Aslan, "Narnia is established. We must next take thought for keeping it safe. I will call some of you to my council. Come hither to me, you the chief Dwarf, and you the River-god, and you Oak and the Owl, and both the Ravens and the Bull-Elephant. We must talk together. For though the world is not five hours old an evil has already entered it."

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The creatures he had named came forward and he turned away eastward with them. The others all began talking, saying things like "What did he say had entered the world? - A Neevil - What’s a Neevil? - No, he didn’t say a Neevil, he said a weevil - Well, what’s that?"

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"Look here," said Digory to Polly, "I’ve got to go after him - Aslan, I mean, the Lion. I must speak to him."

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"Do you think we can?" said Polly. "I wouldn’t dare."

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"I’ve got to," said Digory. "It’s about Mother. If anyone could give me something that would do her good, it would be him."

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"I’ll come along with you," said the Cabby. "I liked the looks of ’im. And I don’t reckon these other beasts will go for us. And I want a word with old Strawberry."

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So all three of them stepped out boldly - or as boldly as they could - towards the assembly of animals. The creatures were so busy talking to one another and making friends that they didn’t notice the three humans until they were very close; nor did they hear Uncle Andrew, who was standing trembling in his buttoned boots a good way off and shouting (but by no means at the top of his voice).

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"Digory! Come back! Come back at once when you’re told. I forbid you to go a step further."

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When at last they were right in among the animals, the animals all stopped talking and stared at them.

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"Well?" said the He-Beaver at last, "what, in the name of Aslan, are these?"

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"Please," began Digory in rather a breathless voice, when a Rabbit said, "They’re a kind of large lettuce, that’s my belief."

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"No, we’re not, honestly we’re not," said Polly hastily. "We’re not at all nice to eat."

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"There!" said the Mole. "They can talk. Who ever heard of a talking lettuce?"

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"Perhaps they’re the Second joke," suggested the Jackdaw.

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A Panther, which had been washing its face, stopped for a moment to say, "Well, if they are, they’re nothing like so good as the first one. At least, 1 don’t see anything very funny about them." It yawned and went on with its wash.

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"Oh, please," said Digory. "I’m in such a hurry. I want to see the Lion."

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All this time the Cabby had been trying to catch Strawberry’s eye. Now he did. "Now, Strawberry, old boy," he said. "You know me. You ain’t going to stand there and say as you don’t know me."

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"What’s the Thing talking about, Horse?" said several voices.

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"Well," said Strawberry very slowly, "I don’t exactly know, I think most of us don’t know much about any

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thing yet. But I’ve a sort of idea I’ve seen a thing like this before. I’ve a feeling I lived somewhere else - or was something else - before Aslan woke us all up a few minutes ago. It’s all very muddled. Like a dream. But there were things like these three in the dream."

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"What?" said the Cabby. "Not know me? Me what used to bring you a hot mash of an evening when you was out of sorts? Me what rubbed you down proper? Me what never forgot to put your cloth on you if you was standing in the _ cold? I wouldn’t ’ave thought it of you, Strawberry."

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"It does begin to come back," said the Horse thoughtfully. "Yes. Let me think now, let me think. Yes, you used to tie a horrid black thing behind me and then hit me to make me run, and however far I ran this black thing would always be coming rattle-rattle behind me."

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"We ’ad our living to earn, see," said the Cabby. "Yours the same as mine. And if there ’adn’t been no work and no whip there’d ’ave been no stable, no hay, no mash, and no oats. For you did get a taste of oats when I could afford ’em, which no one can deny."

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"Oats?" said the Horse, pricking up his ears. "Yes, I remember something about that. Yes, I remember more and more. You were always sitting up somewhere behind, and I was always running in front, pulling you and the black thing. I know I did all the work."

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"Summer, I grant you," said the Cabby. " ’Ot work for you and a cool seat for me. But what about winter, old boy, when you was keeping yourself warm and I was sitting up there with my feet like ice and my nose fair pinched off me with the wind, and my ’ands that numb I couldn’t ’ardly ’old the reins?"

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"It was a hard, cruel country," said Strawberry. "There was no grass. All hard stones."

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"Too true, mate, too true!" said the Cabby. "A ’ard world it was. I always did say those paving-stones weren’t fair on any ’oss. That’s Lunn’on, that is. I didn’t like it no more than what you did. You were a country ’oss, and I was a country man. Used to sing in the choir, I did, down at ’ome. But there wasn’t a living for me there."

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"Oh please, please," said Digory. "Could we get on? The Lion’s getting further and further away. And I do want to speak to him so dreadfully badly."

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"Look ’ere, Strawberry," said the Cabby. "This young gen’leman ’as something on his mind that he wants to talk to the Lion about; ’im you call Aslan. Suppose you was to let ’im ride on your back (which ’e’d take it very kindly) and trot ’im over to where the Lion is. And me and the little girl will be following along."

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"Ride?" said Strawberry. "Oh, I remember now. That means sitting on my back. I remember there used to be a little one of you two-leggers who used to do that long ago. He used to have little hard, square lumps of some white stuff that he gave me. They tasted - oh, wonderful, sweeter than grass."

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"Ah, that’d be sugar," said the Cabby.

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"Please, Strawberry," begged Digory, "do, do let me get up and take me to Aslan."

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"Well, I don’t mind," said the Horse. "Not for once in a way. Up you get."

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"Good old Strawberry," said the Cabby. "’Ere, young ’un, I’ll give you a lift." Digory was soon on Strawberry’s back, and quite comfortable, for he had ridden bare-back before on his own pony.

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"Now, do gee up, Strawberry," he said.

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"You don’t happen to have a bit of that white stuff about you, I suppose?" said the Horse.

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"No. I’m afraid I haven’t," said Digory.

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"Well, it can’t be helped," said Strawberry, and off they went.

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At that moment a large Bulldog, who had been sniffing and staring very hard, said:

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"Look. Isn’t there another of these queer creatures over there, beside the river, under the trees?"

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Then all the animals looked and saw Uncle Andrew, standing very still among the rhododendrons and hoping he wouldn’t be noticed.

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"Come on!" said several voices. "Let’s go and find out." So, while Strawberry was briskly trotting away with Digory in one direction (and Polly and the Cabby were following on foot) most of the creatures rushed towards Uncle Andrew with roars, barks, grunts, and various noises of cheerful interest.

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We must now go back a bit and explain what the whole scene had looked like from Uncle Andrew’s point of view. It had not made at’ all the same impression on him as on the Cabby and the children. For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing: it also depends on what sort of person you are.

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Ever since the animals had first appeared, Uncle Andrew had been shrinking further and further back into the thicket. He watched them very hard of course; but he wasn’t really interested in seeing what they were doing, only in seeing whether they were going to make a rush at him. Like the Witch, he was dreadfully practical. He simply didn’t notice that Aslan was choosing one pair out of every kind of beasts. All he saw, or thought he saw, was a lot of dangerous wild animals walking vaguely about. And he kept on wondering why the other animals didn’t run away from the big Lion.

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When the great moment came and the Beasts spoke, he missed the whole point; for a rather interesting reason. When the Lion had first begun singing, long ago when it was still quite dark, he had realized that the noise was a song. And he had disliked the song very much. It made him think and feel things he did not want to think and feel. Then, when the sun rose and he saw that the singer was a lion ("only a lion," as he said to himself) he tried his hardest to make believe that it wasn’t singing and never had been singing - only roaring as any lion might in a zoo in our own world. "Of course it can’t really have been singing," he thought, "I must have imagined it. I’ve been letting my nerves get out of order. Who ever heard of a lion singing?" And the longer and more beautiful the Lion sang, the harder Uncle Andrew tried to make himself believe that he could hear nothing but roaring. Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. Uncle Andrew did. He soon did hear nothing but roaring in Aslan’s song. Soon he couldn’t have heard anything else even if he had wanted to. And when at last the Lion spoke and said, "Narnia awake," he didn’t hear any words: he heard only a snarl. And when the Beasts spoke in answer, he heard only barkings, growlings, bayings, and howlings. And when they laughed - well, you can imagine. That was worse for Uncle Andrew than anything that had happened yet. Such a horrid, bloodthirsty din of hungry and angry brutes he had never heard in his life. Then, to his utter rage and horror, he saw the other three humans actually walking out into the open to meet the animals.

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"The fools!" he said to himself. "Now those brutes will eat the rings along with the children and I’ll never be able to get home again. What a selfish little boy that Digory is! And the others are just as bad. If they want to throw away their own lives, that’s their business. But what about me? They don’t seem to think of that. No one thinks of me."

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Finally, when a whole crowd of animals came rushing towards him, he turned and ran for his life. And now anyone could see that the air of that young world was really doing the old gentleman good. In London he had been far too old to run: now, he ran at a speed which would have made him certain to win the hundred yards’ race at any Prep school in England. His coattails flying out behind him were a fine sight. But of course it was no use. Many of the animals behind him were swift ones; it was the first run they had ever taken in their lives and they were all longing to use their new muscles. "After him! After him!" they shouted. "Perhaps he’s that Neevil! Tally-ho! Tantivy! Cut him off! Round him up! Keep it up! Hurrah!"

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In a very few minutes some of them got ahead of him. They lined up in a row and barred his way. Others hemmed him in from behind. Wherever he looked he saw terrors. Antlers of great elks and the huge face of an elephant towered over him. Heavy, serious-minded bears and boars grunted behind him. Cool-looking leopards and panthers with sarcastic faces (as he thought) stared at him and waved their tails. What struck him most of all was the number of open mouths. The animals had really opened their mouths to pant; he thought they had opened their mouths to eat him.

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Uncle Andrew stood trembling and swaying this way and that. He had never liked animals at the best of times, being usually rather afraid of them; and of course years of doing cruel experiments on animals had made him hate and fear them far more.

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"Now, sir," said the Bulldog in his business-like way, "are you animal, vegetable, or mineral?" That was what it really said; but all Uncle Andrew heard was "Gr-r-rarrh-ow!"

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