Winston picked his way up the lane through dappled light and shade, stepping out into pools of gold wherever the boughs parted. Under the trees to the left of him the ground was misty with bluebells . The air seemed to kiss one’s skin. It was the second of May. From somewhere deeper in the heart of the wood came the droning of ring doves.
He was a bit early. There had been no difficulties about the journey, and the girl was so evidently experienced that he was less frightened than he would normally have been. Presumably she could be trusted to find a safe place. In general you could not assume that you were much safer in the country than in London.
There were no telescreens, of course, but there was always the danger of concealed microphones by which your voice might be picked up and recognized; besides, it was not easy to make a journey by yourself without attracting attention. For distances of less than 100 kilometres it was not necessary to get your passport endorsed , but sometimes there were patrols hanging about the railway stations, who examined the papers of any Party member they found there and asked awkward questions. However, no patrols had appeared, and on the walk from the station he had made sure by cautious backward glances that he was not being followed.
The train was full of proles, in holiday mood because of the summery weather. The wooden-seated carriage in which he travelled was filled to overflowing by a single enormous family, ranging from a toothless great-grandmother to a month-old baby, going out to spend an afternoon with ’in-laws’ in the country, and, as they freely explained to Winston, to get hold of a little blackmarket butter.
The lane widened, and in a minute he came to the footpath she had told him of, a mere cattle-track which plunged between the bushes. He had no watch, but it could not be fifteen yet. The bluebells were so thick underfoot that it was impossible not to tread on them. He knelt down and began picking some partly to pass the time away, but also from a vague idea that he would like to have a bunch of flowers to offer to the girl when they met.
He had got together a big bunch and was smelling their faint sickly scent when a sound at his back froze him, the unmistakable crackle of a foot on twigs .
He went on picking bluebells. It was the best thing to do. It might be the girl, or he might have been followed after all. To look round was to show guilt . He picked another and another. A hand fell lightly on his shoulder.
He looked up. It was the girl. She shook her head, evidently as a warning that he must keep silent, then parted the bushes and quickly led the way along the narrow track into the wood. Obviously she had been that way before, for she dodged the boggy bits as though by habit. Winston followed, still clasping his bunch of flowers. His first feeling was relief, but as he watched the strong slender body moving in front of him, with the scarlet sash that was just tight enough to bring out the curve of her hips , the sense of his own inferiority was heavy upon him. Even now it seemed quite likely that when she turned round and looked at him she would draw back after all.
The sweetness of the air and the greenness of the leaves daunted him. Already on the walk from the station the May sunshine had made him feel dirty and etiolated, a creature of indoors, with the sooty dust of London in the pores of his skin. It occurred to him that till now she had probably never seen him in broad daylight in the open.
They came to the fallen tree that she had spoken of. The girl hopped over and forced apart the bushes, in which there did not seem to be an opening. When Winston followed her, he found that they were in a natural clearing, a tiny grassy knoll surrounded by tall saplings that shut it in completely. The girl stopped and turned.
读书笔记
是否公开
11
-
“咱们到了。”
读书笔记
是否公开
11
-
’Here we are,’ she said.
读书笔记
是否公开
12
-
他面对着她,相距只有几步远。但是他仍不敢向她靠近。
读书笔记
是否公开
12
-
He was facing her at several paces’ distance. As yet he did not dare move nearer to her.
’I didn’t want to say anything in the lane,’ she went on, ’in case there’s a mike hidden there. I don’t suppose there is, but there could be. There’s always the chance of one of those swine recognizing your voice. We’re all right here.’
读书笔记
是否公开
14
-
他仍没有勇气靠近她。“这里就没事了?”他愚蠢地重复说。
读书笔记
是否公开
14
-
He still had not the courage to approach her. ’We’re all right here?’ he repeated stupidly.
’Yes. Look at the trees.’ They were small ashes, which at some time had been cut down and had sprouted up again into a forest of poles, none of them thicker than one’s wrist. ’There’s nothing big enough to hide a mike in. Besides, I’ve been here before.’
They were only making conversation. He had managed to move closer to her now. She stood before him very upright, with a smile on her face that looked faintly ironical , as though she were wondering why he was so slow to act. The bluebells had cascaded on to the ground. They seemed to have fallen of their own accord. He took her hand.
’Would you believe,’ he said, ’that till this moment I didn’t know what colour your eyes were?’ They were brown, he noted , a rather light shade of brown, with dark lashes .
读书笔记
是否公开
18
-
“现在你既然已经看清了我,你还能多看一眼吗?”
读书笔记
是否公开
18
-
’Now that you’ve seen what I’m really like, can you still bear to look at me?’
读书笔记
是否公开
19
-
“能。很容易。”
读书笔记
是否公开
19
-
’Yes, easily.’
读书笔记
是否公开
20
-
他又说,“我三十九岁,有个摆脱不了的妻子。我患静脉曲张,有五个假牙。”
读书笔记
是否公开
20
-
’I’m thirty-nine years old. I’ve got a wife that I can’t get rid of. I’ve got varicose veins . I’ve got five false teeth.’
The next moment, it was hard to say by whose act, she was in his his arms. At the beginning he had no feeling except sheer incredulity. The youthful body was strained against his own, the mass of dark hair was against his face, and yes! actually she had turned her face up and he was kissing the wide red mouth. She had clasped her arms about his neck, she was calling him darling, precious one, loved one.
He had pulled her down on to the ground, she was utterly unresisting, he could do what he liked with her. But the truth was that he had no physical sensation, except that of mere contact. All he felt was incredulity and pride.
He was glad that this was happening, but he had no physical desire. It was too soon, her youth and prettiness had frightened him, he was too much used to living without women -- he did not know the reason. The girl picked herself up and pulled a bluebell out of her hair. She sat against him, putting her arm round his waist.
’Never mind, dear. There’s no hurry. We’ve got the whole afternoon. Isn’t this a splendid hide-out? I found it when I got lost once on a community hike. If anyone was coming you could hear them a hundred metres away.’
读书笔记
是否公开
26
-
“你叫什么名字?”温斯顿问。
读书笔记
是否公开
26
-
’What is your name?’ said Winston.
读书笔记
是否公开
27
-
“裘莉亚。我知道你叫什么。温斯顿——温斯顿-史密斯。”
读书笔记
是否公开
27
-
’Julia. I know yours. It’s Winston -- Winston Smith.’
读书笔记
是否公开
28
-
“你怎么打听到的?”
读书笔记
是否公开
28
-
’How did you find that out?’
读书笔记
是否公开
29
-
“我想打听这种事情我比你有能耐,亲爱的。告诉我,在那天我递给你条子以前,你对我有什么看法?”
读书笔记
是否公开
29
-
’I expect I’m better at finding things out than you are, dear. Tell me, what did you think of me before that day I gave you the note?’
读书笔记
是否公开
30
-
他没有想到要对她说谎话。一开始就把最坏的想法告诉她,这甚至也是爱的表示。
读书笔记
是否公开
30
-
He did not feel any temptation to tell lies to her. It was even a sort of love-offering to start off by telling the worst.
’I hated the sight of you,’ he said. ’I wanted to rape you and then murder you afterwards. Two weeks ago I thought seriously of smashing your head in with a cobblestone. If you really want to know, I imagined that you had something to do with the Thought Police.’
读书笔记
是否公开
32
-
那姑娘高兴地大笑起来,显然认为这是对她伪装巧妙的恭维。
读书笔记
是否公开
32
-
The girl laughed delightedly, evidently taking this as a tribute to the excellence of her disguise.
读书笔记
是否公开
33
-
“思想警察!你真的那么想吗?”
读书笔记
是否公开
33
-
’Not the Thought Police! You didn’t honestly think that?’
’Well, perhaps not exactly that. But from your general appearance -- merely because you’re young and fresh and healthy, you understand -- I thought that probably-’
’You thought I was a good Party member. Pure in word and deed. Banners, processions, slogans, games, community hikes all that stuff. And you thought that if I had a quarter of a chance I’d denounce you as a thought-criminal and get you killed off?’
读书笔记
是否公开
36
-
“是的,几乎是那样。好多好多年青的姑娘都是那样,这个你也知道。”
读书笔记
是否公开
36
-
’Yes, something of that kind. A great many young girls are like that, you know.’
’It’s this bloody thing that does it,’ she said, ripping off the scarlet sash of the Junior Anti-Sex League and flinging it on to a bough . Then, as though touching her waist had reminded her of something, she felt in the pocket of her overalls and produced a small slab of chocolate. She broke it in half and gave one of the pieces to Winston. Even before he had taken it he knew by the smell that it was very unusual chocolate. It was dark and shiny, and was wrapped in silver paper. Chocolate normally was dullbrown crumbly stuff that tasted, as nearly as one could describe it, like the smoke of a rubbish fire.
But at some time or another he had tasted chocolate like the piece she had given him. The first whiff of its scent had stirred up some memory which he could not pin down, but which was powerful and troubling.
’Black market,’ she said indifferently. ’Actually I am that sort of girl, to look at. I’m good at games. I was a troop-leader in the Spies. I do voluntary work three evenings a week for the Junior Anti-Sex League. Hours and hours I’ve spent pasting their bloody rot all over London. I always carry one end of a banner in the processions. I always Iook cheerful and I never shirk anything. Always yell with the crowd, that’s what I say. It’s the only way to be safe.’
The first fragment of chocolate had meIted on Winston’s tongue. The taste was delightful . But there was still that memory moving round the edges of his consciousness, something strongly felt but not reducible to definite shape, like an object seen out of the corner of one’s eye. He pushed it away from him, aware only that it was the memory of some action which he would have liked to undo but could not.
读书笔记
是否公开
42
-
“你很年轻,”他说。“你比我小十几岁。象我这样一个人,你看中什么?”
读书笔记
是否公开
42
-
’You are very young,’ he said. ’You are ten or fifteen years younger than I am. What could you see to attract you in a man like me?’
读书笔记
是否公开
43
-
“那是你脸上有什么东西吸引了我。我决定冒一下险。
读书笔记
是否公开
43
-
’It was something in your face. I thought I’d take a chance.
读书笔记
是否公开
44
-
我很能发现谁是不属于他们的人。我一看到你,我就知道你反对他们。”
读书笔记
是否公开
44
-
I’m good at spotting people who don’t belong. As soon as I saw you I knew you were against them.’
Them, it appeared, meant the Party, and above all the Inner Party, about whom she talked with an open jeering hatred which made Winston feel uneasy, although he knew that they were safe here if they could be safe anywhere. A thing that astonished him about her was the coarseness of her language. Party members were supposed not to swear, and Winston himself very seldom did swear, aloud, at any rate.
Julia, however, seemed unable to mention the Party, and especially the Inner Party, without using the kind of words that you saw chalked up in dripping alley-ways. He did not dislike it. It was merely one symptom of her revolt against the Party and all its ways, and somehow it seemed natural and healthy, like the sneeze of a horse that smells bad hay. They had left the clearing and were wandering again through the chequered shade, with their arms round each other’s waists whenever it was wide enough to walk two abreast .He noticed how much softer her waist seemed to feel now that the sash was gone.
读书笔记
是否公开
47
-
他们说话很低声。裘莉亚说,出了那块小空地,最好不出声。他们不久就到了小树林的边上。她叫他停了步。
读书笔记
是否公开
47
-
They did not speak above a whisper. Outside the clearing, Julia said, it was better to go quietly. Presently they had reached the edge of the little wood. She stopped him.
读书笔记
是否公开
48
-
“别出去。外面可能有人看着。我们躲在树枝背后就没事。”
读书笔记
是否公开
48
-
’Don’t go out into the open. There might be someone watching. We’re all right if we keep behind the boughs.’
They were standing in the shade of hazel bushes. The sunlight, filtering through innumerable leaves, was still hot on their faces. Winston looked out into the field beyond, and underwent a curious, slow shock of recognition. He knew it by sight. An old, close-bitten pasture, with a footpath wandering across it and a molehill here and there.
In the ragged hedge on the opposite side the boughs of the elm trees swayed just perceptibly in the breeze, and their leaves stirred faintly in dense masses like women’s hair. Surely somewhere nearby, but out of sight, there must be a stream with green pools where dace were swimming?
读书笔记
是否公开
51
-
“这里附近是不是有条小溪?”他轻轻问道。
读书笔记
是否公开
51
-
’Isn’t there a stream somewhere near here?’ he whispered.
’That’s right, there is a stream. It’s at the edge of the next field, actually. There are fish in it, great big ones. You can watch them lying in the pools under the willow trees, waving their tails.’
读书笔记
是否公开
53
-
“那是黄金乡——就是黄金乡,”他喃喃地说。
读书笔记
是否公开
53
-
’It’s the Golden Country -- almost,’ he murmured.
读书笔记
是否公开
54
-
“黄金乡?”
读书笔记
是否公开
54
-
’The Golden Country?’
读书笔记
是否公开
55
-
“没什么,亲爱的。那是我有时在梦中见到的景色。”
读书笔记
是否公开
55
-
’It’s nothing, really. A landscape I’ve seen sometimes in a dream.’
A thrush had alighted on a bough not five metres away, almost at the level of their faces. Perhaps it had not seen them. It was in the sun, they in the shade. It spread out its wings, fitted them carefully into place again, ducked its head for a moment, as though making a sort of obeisance to the sun, and then began to pour forth a torrent of song.
In the afternoon hush the volume of sound was startling. Winston and Julia clung together, fascinated. The music went on and on, minute after minute, with astonishing variations, never once repeating itself, almost as though the bird were deliberately showing off its virtuosity . Sometimes it stopped for a few seconds, spread out and resettled its wings, then swelled its speckled breast and again burst into song.
Winston watched it with a sort of vague reverence . For whom, for what, was that bird singing? No mate, no rival was watching it. What made it sit at the edge of the lonely wood and pour its music into nothingness? He wondered whether after all there was a microphone hidden somewhere near. He and Julia had spoken only in low whispers, and it would not pick up what they had said, but it would pick up the thrush. Perhaps at the other end of the instrument some small, beetle-like man was listening intently -- listening to that.
But by degrees the flood of music drove all speculations out of his mind. It was as though it were a kind of liquid stuff that poured all over him and got mixed up with the sunlight that filtered through the leaves. He stopped thinking and merely felt.
The girl’s waist in the bend of his arm was soft and warm. He pulled her round so that they were breast to breast; her body seemed to melt into his. Wherever his hands moved it was all as yielding as water. Their mouths clung together; it was quite different from the hard kisses they had exchanged earlier. When they moved their faces apart again both of them sighed deeply. The bird took fright and fled with a clatter of wings.
读书笔记
是否公开
62
-
温斯顿的嘴唇贴在她的耳边轻轻说:“马上。”
读书笔记
是否公开
62
-
Winston put his lips against her ear. ’Now,’ he whispered.
读书笔记
是否公开
63
-
“可不能在这里,”她轻轻回答。“回到那块空地去。那里安全些。”
读书笔记
是否公开
63
-
’Not here,’ she whispered back. ’Come back to the hide-out. It’s safer.’
Quickly, with an occasional crackle of twigs, they threaded their way back to the clearing. When they were once inside the ring of saplings she turned and faced him. They were both breathing fast, but the smile had reappeared round the corners of her mouth. She stood looking at him for an instant, then felt at the zipper of her overalls. And, yes! it was almost as in his dream. Almost as swiftly as he had imagined it, she had torn her clothes off, and when she flung them aside it was with that same magnificent gesture by which a whole civilization seemed to be annihilated .
Her body gleamed white in the sun. But for a moment he did not look at her body; his eyes were anchored by the freckled face with its faint, bold smile. He knelt down before her and took her hands in his.
读书笔记
是否公开
66
-
“你以前干过吗?”
读书笔记
是否公开
66
-
’Have you done this before?’
读书笔记
是否公开
67
-
“当然干过。几百次了——嗳,至少几十次了。”
读书笔记
是否公开
67
-
’Of course. Hundreds of times -- well scores of times anyway.’
His heart leapt. Scores of times she had done it: he wished it had been hundreds -- thousands. Anything that hinted at corruption always filled him with a wild hope. Who knew, perhaps the Party was rotten under the surface, its cult of strenuousness and self-denial simply a sham concealing iniquity . If he could have infected the whole lot of them with leprosy or syphilis, how gladly he would have done so! Anything to rot, to weaken, to undermine! He pulled her down so that they were kneeling face to face.
读书笔记
是否公开
73
-
“你听好了,你有过的男人越多,我越爱你。你明白吗?”
读书笔记
是否公开
73
-
’Listen. The more men you’ve had, the more I love you. Do you understand that?’
读书笔记
是否公开
74
-
“完全明白。”
读书笔记
是否公开
74
-
’Yes, perfectly .’
读书笔记
是否公开
75
-
“我恨纯洁,我恨善良。我都不希望哪里有什么美德。我希望大家都腐化透顶。”
读书笔记
是否公开
75
-
’I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want any virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones.’
读书笔记
是否公开
76
-
“那么,亲爱的,我应该很配你。我腐化透顶。”
读书笔记
是否公开
76
-
’Well then, I ought to suit you, dear. I’m corrupt to the bones.’
读书笔记
是否公开
77
-
“你喜欢这玩艺儿吗?我不是只指我;我指这件事本身。”
读书笔记
是否公开
77
-
’You like doing this? I don’t mean simply me: I mean the thing in itself?’
That was above all what he wanted to hear. Not merely the love of one person but the animal instinct, the simple undifferentiated desire: that was the force that would tear the Party to pieces. He pressed her down upon the grass, among the fallen bluebells. This time there was no difficulty.
Presently the rising and falling of their breasts slowed to normal speed, and in a sort of pleasant helplessness they fell apart. The sun seemed to have grown hotter. They were both sleepy. He reached out for the discarded overalls and pulled them partly over her.
读书笔记
是否公开
81
-
接着两人就马上睡着了,大约睡了半个小时。
读书笔记
是否公开
81
-
Almost immediately they fell asleep and slept for about half an hour.
读书笔记
是否公开
82
-
温斯顿先醒。他坐起身来,看着那张仍旧睡着,枕在她的手掌上的雀斑脸。
读书笔记
是否公开
82
-
Winston woke first. He sat up and watched the freckled face, still peacefully asleep, pillowed on the palm of her hand.
Except for her mouth, you could not call her beautiful. There was a line or two round the eyes, if you looked closely. The short dark hair was extraordinarily thick and soft. It occurred to him that he still did not know her surname or where she lived.
The young, strong body, now helpless in sleep, awoke in him a pitying, protecting feeling. But the mindless tenderness that he had felt under the hazel tree, while the thrush was singing, had not quite come back.
He pulled the overalls aside and studied her smooth white flank. In the old days, he thought, a man looked at a girl’s body and saw that it was desirable, and that was the end of the story. But you could not have pure love or pure lust nowadays. No emotion was pure, because everything was mixed up with fear and hatred.
读书笔记
是否公开
86
-
他们的拥抱是一场战斗,高潮就是一次胜利。这是对党的打击。这是一件政治行为。
读书笔记
是否公开
86
-
Their embrace had been a battle, the climax a victory. It was a blow struck against the Party. It was a political act.