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朗读者|The Reader

Part 1 第4章|Part 1 Chapter 4

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 本哈德-施林克] 阅读：[13817]
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1
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"等一下！"当我站起来准备要走的时候，她对我说，"我也要出去一下，可以一起走一段。"

1
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“Wait,” SHE said as I got up to go. ‘I have to leave too, and I’ll walk with you.

2
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我在楼道里等她，她在厨房里换衣服。门开着一条小缝，她脱掉了围裙，换上了一件浅绿色衬衣。

2
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I waited in the hall while she changed her clothes in the kitchen. The door was open a crack. She took off the smock and stood there in a bright green slip.

3
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在椅子的扶手上挂着两双长统袜，她拿下来一双，用两手把它卷成圆筒状，用一条腿掌握着平衡，并用这条腿的膝盖支撑着另一条腿的后部，弯下腰，把卷好的长统袜套到了脚上，然后把脚放到了椅子上，把长统袜从小腿肚提到膝盖，再从膝盖提到大腿。她把身子倾向一边，把穿到腿上的长统袜用长统袜绳绑好，然后站起身来，把脚从椅子上拿下来，抓起了另一只袜子。

3
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Two stockings were hanging over the back of the chair. Picking one up, she gathered it into a roll using one hand, then the other, then balanced on one leg as she rested the heel of her other foot against her knee, leaned forward, slipped the rolled-up stocking over the tip of her foot, put her foot on the chair as she smoothed the stocking up over her calf, knee, and thigh, then bent to one side as she fastened the stocking to the garter belt. Straightening up, she took her foot off the chair and reached for the other stocking.

4
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我目不转睛地盯着她，从她的脖颈到肩膀，从她的那对只被衬衣围盖但并没有遮严的乳房到她的只被衬衣遮住的屁股。当她把一只脚放到膝盖上并坐到椅子上的时候，就可以看得见她的先是裸露、苍白、后又被长统袜装束起来的光滑的大腿。

4
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I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her neck and shoulders, her breasts, which the slip veiled rather than concealed, her hips which stretched the slip tight as she propped her foot on her knee and then set it on the chair, her leg, pale and naked, then shimmering in the silky stocking.

5
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她感觉到了我的目光，她很熟练地穿好了另一只长统袜，把脸转向门这边，看着我的眼睛。我不知道她是怎样注视着我的：惊奇地、疑问地、知情地，还是谴责地？我脸红了，我面红耳赤地站了一会儿，然后我实在坚持不住了，冲出了房间，跑下了楼梯，跑出了那座房子。

5
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She felt me looking at her. As she was reaching for the other stocking, she paused, turned towards the door, and looked straight at me. I can’t describe what kind of look it was—surprised, skeptical, knowing, reproachful. I turned red. For a fraction of a second I stood there, my face burning. Then I couldn’t take it any more. I fled out of the apartment, down the stairs, and into the street.

6
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我慢慢地走着，火车站街、房子街、鲜花街是我这些年上学、放学的必经之路。

6
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I dawdled along. Bahnhofstrasse, H?usserstrasse, Blumenstrasse—it had been my way to school for years.

7
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我认得每座房子、每座花园和每道拦栅。那些栏栅每年都要重新粉刷，栏栅的木头都变得朽烂不堪，以致我用手都能挤压进去。我小的时候，常常过路边用一根棍子响响地敲打着那些铁栏栅的铁杆。还有那些砖砌的高高的围墙，我曾经想象过里面的美好和恐怖，直到我能爬高时才看见里面不过是一排排枯萎的、无人照料的鲜花、浆果和蔬菜类。

7
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I knew every building, every garden, and every fence, the ones that were repainted every year and the ones that were so gray and rotten that I could crumble the wood in my hand, the iron railings that I ran along as a child banging a stick against the posts and the high brick wall behind which I had imagined wonderful and terrible things, until I was able to climb it, and see row after boring row of neglected beds of flowers, berries, and vegetables.

8
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我也认得铺在路面上的铺石块和漆在路面上的油漆，还有交替铺在路面上的、形状各异的光滑岩石以及铺成波浪形状的小块玄武岩、油漆和碎石。

8
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I knew the cobblestones in their layer of tar on the road, and the changing surface of the sidewalk, from flagstones to little lumps of basalt set in wave patterns, tar, and gravel.

9
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我熟悉这儿的一切。当我的心不再狂跳，不再面红耳赤的时候，在厨房与门廊之间所看见的那一幕情景也离我远去。我生自己的气，因为我就像一个小孩子一样一跑了之，没有像我对自己所期待的那样沉着自信。我不再是九岁的孩子了，我十五岁了！尽管如此，怎样才算沉着自信对我来说仍是个谜。

9
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It was all familiar. When my heart stopped pounding and my face was no longer scarlet, the encounter between the kitchen and the hall seemed a long way away. I was angry with myself. I had run away like a child, instead of keeping control of the situation, as I thought I should. I wasn’t nine years old anymore, I was fifteen. That didn’t mean I had any idea what keeping control would have entailed.

10
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另一个谜是在厨房与门廊之间所发生的那一幕情景本身。为什么我不能把目光从她身上移开？她的身体很强健，极富有女人味，比我曾喜欢过的、博得我的青睐的姑娘们的身体丰满。

10
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The other puzzle was the actual encounter that had taken place between the kitchen and the hall. Why had I not been able to take my eyes off her? She had a very strong, feminine body, more voluptuous than the girls I liked and watched.

11
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我相信，要是我在游泳池看见她的话，她不会引起我的注意。她也不像我曾经在游泳池见过的姑娘们和妇人们那样裸露。另外，她也比我梦想的姑娘们年纪要大得多。她有三十多岁？人们很难估计出自己还未曾经历过的，或尚未达到的年龄段的人们的年龄。

11
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I was sure I wouldn’t even have noticed her if I’d seen her at the swimming pool. Nor had she been any more naked than the girls and women I had already seen at the swimming pool. And besides, she was much older than the girls I dreamed about. Over thirty? It’s hard to guess ages when you’re not that old yourself and won’t be anytime soon.

12
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多年以后我才明白，并不是因为她的身体本身，而是她的姿势和动作让我目不转睛。我请求我的女友们穿长统袜，但我不想解释我的请求，我不想告诉别人那个令我迷惑不解的、发生在厨房与门廊之间的那一幕情景。

12
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Years later it occurred to me that the reason I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off her was not just her body, but the way she held herself and moved. I asked my girlfriends to put on stockings, but I didn’t want to explain why, or to talk about the riddle of what had happened between the kitchen and the hall.

13
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这样，我的请求就成了寻求肆无忌惮的情欲、寻求高潮的一种愿望。一旦我的这种请求得到了满足，它也是以一种卖弄风情的姿态出现，并非那种让我目不转睛的姿态。汉娜并没有拿姿态，没有卖弄风情，我也不记得她曾拿过什么姿态、卖弄过什么风情。

13
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So my request was read as a desire for garters and high heels and erotic extravaganza, and if it was granted, it was done as a come-on. There had been none of that when I had found myself unable to look away. She hadn’t been posing or teasing me. I don’t remember her ever doing that.

14
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我只记得她的身体、她的姿势和动作，它们有时显得有点笨重。但那不是真的笨重，那是她让自己回到了内心世界，那是她不让由大脑所支配的任何命令来干扰她这安静的生活节奏，那是她完全忘却了外部世界的存在。这样的忘却外部世界的情形还体现在她那次穿长统袜的姿势和动作上。

14
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I remember that her body and the way she held it and moved sometimes seemed awkward. Not that she was particularly heavy. It was more as if she had withdrawn into her own body, and left it to itself and its own quiet rhythms, unbothered by any input from her mind, oblivious to the outside world. It was the same obliviousness that weighed in her glance and her movements when she was pulling on her stockings.

15
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但那一次，她的动作并非慢慢腾腾，相反，它非常麻利、妩媚和具有诱惑力。但诱惑人的不是乳房、屁股和大腿，而是吸引你进入她的内心世界而忘却外部世界的一种力量。

15
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But then she was not awkward, she was slow-flowing, graceful, seductive—a seductiveness that had nothing to do with breasts and hips and legs, but was an invitation to forget the world in the recesses of the body.

16
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当时，我并不知道这些——尽管我现在知道了，而且知道了为什么。那时，每当我思考使我那样兴奋的原因时，我就又兴奋起来。为了解开这个谜，我就必须追忆那一幕情景。当我把那一幕视为不解之谈时，我实际上是在与它保持距离。这种距离感解除后，当时所发生的一切就又历历在目了，我仍旧在目不转睛地盯着。

16
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I knew none of this—if indeed I know any of it now and am not just making patterns in the air. But as I thought back then on what had excited me, the excitement came back. To solve the riddle, I made myself remember the whole encounter, and then the distance I had created by turning it into a riddle dissolved, and I saw it all again, and again I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

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