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暮光之城：午夜阳光|Midnight Sun

Chapter 8 Ghost|Chapter 7 Melody

属类： 双语小说 【分类】魔幻小说 -[作者: 斯蒂芬妮-梅耶] 阅读：[42873]
《暮光之城》是美国作家斯蒂芬妮·梅尔 （Stephenie Meyer）写的系列小说，包括《暮色》、《新月》、《月食》、《破晓》以及番外《布里·坦纳第二次短暂生命》、《暮色重生》和《午夜阳光》。《暮光之城》系列以伊莎贝拉·斯旺和爱德华·卡伦一对苦命鸳鸯的情感纠葛为主线，融合了吸血鬼传说、狼人故事、校园生活、恐怖悬念、喜剧冒险等各种元素，而凄美动人的爱情则是全书“最强烈的情绪”。
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I had to wait when I got back to school. The final hour wasn’t out yet. That was good,because I had things to think about and I needed the alone time.

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Her scent lingered in the car. I kept the windows up, letting it assault me, tryingto get used to the feel of intentionally torching my throat.

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Attraction.

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It was a problematic thing to contemplate. So many sides to it, so many differentmeanings and levels. Not the same thing as love, but tied up in it inextricably.

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I had no idea if Bella was attracted to me. (Would her mental silence somehowcontinue to get more and more frustrating until I went mad? Or was there a limit that Iwould eventually reach?)I tried to compare her physical responses to others, like the secretary and JessicaStanley, but the comparison was inconclusive. The same markers—changes in heart rateand breathing patterns—could just as easily mean fear or shock or anxiety as they didinterest. It seemed unlikely that Bella could be entertaining the same kinds of thoughtsthat Jessica Stanley used to have. After all, Bella knew very well that there wassomething wrong with me, even if she didn’t know what exactly it was. She had touchedmy icy skin, and then yanked her hand away from the chill.

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And yet…as I remembered those fantasies that used to repulse me, butremembered them with Bella in Jessica’s place…I was breathing more quickly, the fire clawing up and down my throat.

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What if it had been Bella imagining me with my arms wrapped around her fragilebody? Feeling me pull her tightly against my chest and then cupping my hand under herchin? Brushing the heavy curtain of her hair back from her blushing face? Tracing theshape of her full lips with my fingertips? Leaning my face closer to hers, where I couldfeel the heat of her breath on my mouth? Moving closer still…But then I flinched away from the daydream, knowing, as I had known whenJessica had imagined these things, what would happen if I got that close to her.

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Attraction was an impossible dilemma, because I was already too attracted toBella in the worst way.

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Did I want Bella to be attracted to me, a woman to a man?

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That was the wrong question. The right question was should I want Bella to beattracted to me that way, and that answer was no. Because I was not a human man, andthat wasn’t fair to her.

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With every fiber of my being, I ached to be a normal man, so that I could hold herin my arms without risking her life. So that I could be free to spin my own fantasies,fantasies that didn’t end in with her blood on my hands, her blood glowing in my eyes.

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My pursuit of her was indefensible. What kind of relationship could I offer her,when I couldn’t risk touching her?

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I hung my head in my hands.

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It was all the more confusing because I had never felt so human in my wholelife—not even when I was human, as far as I could recall. When I had been human, mythoughts had all been turned to a soldier’s glory. The Great War had raged through mostof my adolescence, and I’d been only nine months away from my eighteenth birthdaywhen the influenza had struck… I had just vague impressions of those human years,murky memories that faded more with every passing decade. I remembered my mothermost clearly, and felt an ancient ache when I thought of her face. I recalled dimly howmuch she had hated the future I’d raced eagerly toward, praying every night when shesaid grace at dinner that the “horrid war” would end… I had no memories of anotherkind of yearning. Besides my mother’s love, there was no other love that had made mewish to stay…This was entirely new to me. I had no parallels to draw, no comparisons to make.

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The love I felt for Bella had come purely, but now the waters were muddied. Iwanted very much to be able to touch her. Did she feel the same way?

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That didn’t matter, I tried to convince myself.

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I stared at my white hands, hating their hardness, their coldness, their inhumanstrength…I jumped when the passenger door opened.

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Ha. Caught you by surprise. There’s a first, Emmett thought as he slid into theseat. “I’ll bet Mrs. Goff thinks you’re on drugs, you’ve been so erratic lately. Wherewere you today?”

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“I was…doing good deeds.”

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Huh?

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I chuckled. “Caring for the sick, that kind of thing.”

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That confused him more, but then he inhaled and caught the scent in the car.

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“Oh. The girl again?”

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I grimaced.

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This is getting weird.

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“Tell me about it,” I mumbled.

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He inhaled again. “Hmm, she does have a quite a flavor, doesn’t she?”

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The snarl broke through my lips before his words had even registered all the way,an automatic response.

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“Easy, kid, I’m just sayin.’”

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The others arrived then. Rosalie noticed the scent at once and glowered at me,still not over her irritation. I wondered what her problem was, but all I could hear fromher were insults.

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I didn’t like Jasper’s reaction, either. Like Emmett, he noticed Bella’s appeal.

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Not that the scent had, for either of them, a thousandth portion of the draw it had for me.

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I was still upset me that her blood was sweet to them. Jasper had poor control…Alice skipped to my side of the car and held her hand out for Bella’s truck key.

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“I only saw that I was,” she said—obscurely, as was her habit. “You’ll have totell me the whys.”

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“This doesn’t mean—”

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“I know, I know. I’ll wait. It won’t be long.”

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I sighed and gave her the key.

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I followed her to Bella’s house. The rain was pounding down like a million tinyhammers, so loud that maybe Bella’s human ears couldn’t hear the thunder of the truck’sengine. I watched her window, but she didn’t come to look out. Maybe she wasn’t there.

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There were no thoughts to hear.

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It made me sad that I couldn’t hear enough even to check on her—to make sureshe was happy, or safe, at the least.

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Alice climbed in the back and we sped home. The roads were empty, and so itonly took a few minutes. We trooped into the house, and then went to our variouspastimes.

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Emmett and Jasper were in the middle of an elaborate game of chess, utilizingeight joined boards—spread out along the glass back wall—and their own complicatedset of rules. They wouldn’t let me play; only Alice would play games with me anymore.

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Alice went to her computer just around the corner from them and I could hear hermonitors sing to life. Alice was working on a fashion design project for Rosalie’swardrobe, but Rosalie did not join her today, to stand behind her and direct cut and coloras Alice’s hand traced over the touch sensitive screens (Carlisle and I had had to tweakthat system a bit, given that most such screens responded to temperature). Instead, todayRosalie sprawled sullenly on the sofa and started flipping through twenty channels asecond on the flat screen, never pausing. I could hear her trying to decide whether or notto go out to the garage and tune her BMW again.

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Esme was upstairs, humming over a new set of blue prints.

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Alice leaned her head around the wall after a moment and started mouthingEmmett’s next moves—Emmett sat on the floor with his back to her—to Jasper, whokept his expression very smooth as he cut off Emmett’s favorite knight.

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And I, for the first time in so long that I felt ashamed, went to sit at the exquisitegrand piano stationed just off the entryway.

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I ran my hand gently up the scales, testing the pitch. The tuning was still perfect.

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Upstairs, Esme paused what she was doing and cocked her head to the side.

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I began the first line of the tune that had suggested itself to me in the car today,pleased that it sounded even better than I’d imagined.

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Edward is playing again, Esme thought joyously, a smile breaking across herface. She got up from her desk, and flitted silently to the head of the stairs.

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I added a harmonizing line, letting the central melody weave through it.

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Esme sighed with contentment, sat down on the top step, and leaned her headagainst the banister. A new song. It’s been so long. What a lovely tune.

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I let the melody lead in a new direction, following it with the bass line.

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Edward is composing again? Rosalie thought, and her teeth clenched together infierce resentment.

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In that moment, she slipped, and I could read all her underlying outrage. I sawwhy she was in such a poor temper with me. Why killing Isabella Swan had not botheredher conscience at all.

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With Rosalie, it was always about vanity.

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The music came to an abrupt halt, and I laughed before I could help myself, asharp bark of amusement that broke off quickly as I threw my hand over my mouth.

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Rosalie turned to glare at me, her eyes sparking with chagrined fury.

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Emmett and Jasper turned to stare, too, and I heard Esme’s confusion. Esme wasdownstairs in a flash, pausing to glance between Rosalie and me.

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“Don’t stop, Edward,” Esme encouraged after a strained moment.

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