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吉姆老爷|Lord Jim

3．吉姆讲述自己的故事|3.Jim tells his story

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 约瑟夫-康拉德] 阅读：[4941]
出生自牧师家庭的吉姆在“帕特那号”上当大副时，因发生海难弃船而逃，独自到法庭受审，被取消了航海资格，之后他在马洛船长的帮助下，换了许多工作，最后他在马洛和斯坦的安排下躲进与文明隔绝的土著人居住区帕图桑，并在那里取得了头人的信赖，一次，他为伙白人海盗求情，获准。结果海盗在离去时背信弃义，杀死了头人的儿子，吉姆满腔悲愤，向头人请罪，心甘情愿地走向了死亡。
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1
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酒店的大餐厅坐了一多半的人，在吃饭、喝酒和闲谈，深色皮肤的服务生在餐桌间匆忙地来来去去。吉姆坐在我对面，用他那双孩子气的蓝眼睛直视着我。我喜欢他年轻、诚恳、严肃的脸。他是个真正的水手，是我们的同类。但他说话时怎么会这样平静呢？是因为他在控制自己，还是因为他不在乎？

1
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The big hotel dining-room was more than half full of people, eating, drinking and talking, while the dark-faced waiters hurried from table to table. And opposite me sat Jim, with his blue, boyish eyes looking straight into mine. I liked his young, honest face and his seriousness. He was the right kind; he was one of us. But how could he talk so calmly? Was it because he was controlling himself, or because he did not care?

2
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晚餐快结束时，我提起了审讯。我说：“这肯定难为你了。”

2
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Towards the end of dinner, I mentioned the inquiry. ’It must be awfully hard for you,’ I said.

3
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接下来的事让我震惊不已。他迅速伸手抓住我的胳臂，死死地盯着我，大声说：“这简直是——地狱。”邻桌的人都扭头看我们。我起身和他走出去，拿着咖啡和雪茄坐在阳台上。我们坐在椅子上看海，船只的灯光宛如星光，在浓重、闷热的黑夜中闪烁着。

3
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I was surprised by what happened next. He put out a hand quickly and held my arm, staring fixedly at me. ’It is—hell,’ he cried. People at tables near us turned to look. I stood up, and we went outside, to sit on the veranda with our coffee and cigars. From our chairs we looked out at the sea, where the lights of the ships shone like stars in the thick, warm darkness.

4
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“我不能逃，”吉姆开口说道，“船长逃走了，但那样做对我没有好处。其他人也与这件事脱了干系，但我不能，也不愿那样做。你知道，我现在永远回不了家了。我亲爱的老父亲一定已经在报上看到了我的事。我永远无法向这个可怜的老人解释这一切。他不会理解的。”

4
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I couldn’t run away,’ Jim began. ’The captain did, but that’s no good for me. The others have got out of it too, but I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t. I can never go home now, you know. I’m sure my dear old Dad has seen the story in the newspapers by now. I can never explain all this to the poor old man. He wouldn’t understand.’

5
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我抬头看着他，觉得他肯定非常喜欢他的“老父亲”，也想象得出这位乡村牧师如何为他当海员的儿子而自豪。

5
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I looked up. I had the feeling he was extremely fond of his ’old Dad’, and I imagined how proud the country vicar had been of his sailor son.

6
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吉姆继续说：“哎，你千万不要认为我和其他人一样，你知道，我是说船长和轮机员。发生在我身上的事是不一样的。”我既没有表示同意，也没有表示反对，我不知道他是否真的相信他自己的话。“我不知道审讯结束后我该怎么办。没有人会雇我当高级船员了。我也没有钱去别的地方。我只能在船上找点儿零活儿，做个普通水手。”

6
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Jim went on, ’Look, you mustn’t think I’m like those others—you know, the captain and the engineers. What happened to me was different.’ I said nothing to agree or disagree with this, but I didn’t know if he really believed what he was saying. ’I don’t know what I’ll do after the inquiry. Nobody will employ me as an officer again. I haven’t any money to go anywhere else. I’ll have to get occasional work on a ship, as an ordinary seaman.’

7
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“你觉得你能吗？”我问他。我想刺伤他，让他失去自控。

7
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Do you think you can?’ I asked. I wanted to hurt him, to break his self-control.

8
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他跳起来走开，又回来痛苦地低头看着我。“你为什么这样说？你对我一直很好。你没有因为我犯下的愚蠢错误嘲笑我。”他的声音有点儿颤抖。他把目光从我身上移开，凝视着黑夜。“这是有没有做好准备的问题。我没有准备好，当时没有。”然后，他转向我说，“瞧，我想解释——我希望有人会理解——至少有一个人！就是你！为什么不呢？啊，我竟错过了这个机会！上帝啊，我竟错过了这个机会！”

8
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He jumped up and turned away, then came back and looked miserably down at me. ’Why did you say that? You’ve been very kind to me. You didn’t laugh when I—’ here his voice trembled ’—made that stupid mistake.’ Looking away from me, he stared into the darkness. ’It’s a question of being ready. I wasn’t, not then.’ And then, turning to me, ’Look, I’d like to explain—I’d like somebody to understand—one person at least! You! Why not you? Ah! What a chance I missed! My God! What a chance I missed!’

9
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他沉默了一会儿，目光平静而出神，他在想那个失去的机会。我看着他走进自己充满英雄梦想和历险的世界中。啊，他很浪漫！虽然我们的椅子相隔只有一米，他却离我很遥远。突然，从他快乐的表情中，我看出他已经到达了他心中的虚幻世界，到达了他完美梦想的终点。他年轻的脸上带着你们永远不会拥有的笑容，我的朋友们，我也永远不会有那样的笑容。

9
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He was silent for a while, with a quiet, distant look in his eyes, as he thought of that lost opportunity. I watched him moving into his own private world of heroic dreams and adventures. Ah, he was romantic! He was very far away from me, although his chair was only a metre away from mine. Suddenly I saw from his delighted expression that he had reached the heart of his impossible world, and come to the end of his perfect dream. His young face wore a smile that your faces will never wear, my friends, nor mine either.

10
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“你是说，弃船而去时，你错过了一个机会！”我无情地把他拉回到现实。

10
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I brought him roughly back to the present by saying, ’You missed a chance when you left the ship, you mean!’

11
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他快速转向我，他的梦破碎了，眼中顿时充满痛苦。“要知道，”他停顿了一会儿说，“船上的洞太大了！我看见的时候，一块和我的手一般大的金属掉了下来。”

11
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He turned quickly towards me, his dream broken and his eyes suddenly full of pain. ’You see,’ he said after a moment, ’the hole in the side of the ship was so big! A piece of metal as big as my hand fell off while I was looking at it!’

12
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“这让你感觉很糟糕吧。”我说。

12
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That made you feel bad,’ I said.

13
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“你以为我当时想的是自己吗？船上有八百人，但只有七条救生艇。我以为缺口会变大，让他们在睡梦中被海水淹没……我能做什么呢？”他伸手抚额，“船长让我再去检查一下破损的地方。起先我想叫醒所有的乘客，但我的嘴干得说不出话来。我感到无助。我看着身边毫不知情的梦中人，仿佛看到的都是死人。他们没救了！没有时间了！我无法把缺口修好，也无法用七艘救生艇救活八百人！我很清楚自己无能为力了，就像现在看见你这么清楚。这让我完全没了力气。我站在那儿一动不动地等着。你认为我怕死吗？”他愤怒地用手捶了一下桌面，震得咖啡杯跳了起来，“上帝！我告诉你我不怕！”

13
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Do you suppose I was thinking of myself? There were eight hundred people on that ship, and only seven boats. I expected to see the hole widen and the water flow over them as they lay sleeping... What could I do?’ He passed a hand over his head. ’The captain had sent me to check the damage again. At first I wanted to wake all the passengers up, but my mouth was too dry, and I couldn’t speak. I felt completely helpless. When I looked at the unconscious sleepers around me, I saw dead men. Nothing could save them! There was no time! I could not repair the damage, and I could not save eight hundred people in seven boats! I saw, as clearly as I see you now, that there was nothing I could do. It seemed to take all the life out of my body. I just stood there and waited. Do you think I am afraid of death?’ He banged his hand angrily on the table, so that the coffee cups danced. ’My God! I tell you I am not!’

14
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他或许不怕死，但是，朋友们，让我告诉你们他怕什么——他害怕紧急情况。他能想象出所有可怕的结局——水灌满船舱，人们惊恐尖叫，船慢慢下沉——海难中所有可怕的细节他都想到了。我想他对死亡已有准备，但他希望平静安宁地死去。当人们发现自己正被大海这样比自身强大许多的对手打败时，没有多少人能将战斗进行到底。

14
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He was not afraid of death, perhaps, but, my friends, I’ll tell you what he was afraid of—the emergency. He was able to imagine, only too well, all the horrors of the end—water filling the ship, people screaming, boats sinking—all the terrible details of a disaster at sea. I think he was ready to die, but I suspect he wanted to die quietly, peacefully. Not many men are prepared to continue their fight to the end, when they find themselves losing to a much stronger enemy, like the sea.

15
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“发动机停了，船上很安静，”他接着说，“我跑回舰桥，看到船长和两个轮机员正在放一艘救生艇。‘快！’船长低声对我说，‘帮个忙，老兄！’

15
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The engines had stopped, and it seemed very quiet on the ship,’ he went on. ’I ran back up to the bridge, and found the captain and the two engineers trying to lower one of the ship’s boats down into the sea. "Quick!" the captain whispered to me. "Help us, man!"

16
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“‘你没打算采取什么措施吗？’我问。

16
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"Aren’t you going to do something?" I asked.

17
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“‘对！我打算马上离开这里。’他回头说。

17
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"Yes! I’m going to get away," he said over his shoulder.

18
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“我当时没明白他的意思。他们三个拼命地把救生艇拖过来、推过去，互相对骂着，但绳子出了问题，救生艇一动未动。我站在一旁看着平静、黑暗而致命的大海，脑子里涌出各种各样的想法，我绞尽脑汁，但看不到任何生还的希望。你认为我是一个懦夫，因为我只是站在那儿，但如果换成你，你会怎样呢？你回答不上来吧——没有人能答上来。我需要时间……”

18
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I didn’t understand then what he meant. The three of them were desperately pulling and pushing at the boat, and calling each other names, but something was wrong with the ropes and the boat wouldn’t move. I stood away from them, watching the sea, black and calm and deadly. My head was full of ideas, and I was thinking hard, but I couldn’t see any chance of survival for us. You think I’m a coward, because I just stood there, but what would you do? You can’t tell—nobody can. I needed time...’

19
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他说得上气不接下气。他不是在对我说话，倒像是在面对一个看不见的法官接受灵魂的审判。这个问题让审判庭去判定太难了。这关系到生命的真正本质，关系到光明与黑暗，真实与谎言，善与恶。

19
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He was breathing quickly. He was not speaking to me, but seemed to be on trial in front of an unseen judge, who was responsible for his soul. This was a matter too difficult for the court of inquiry to decide. It was about the true nature of life, about light and darkness, truth and lies, good and evil.

20
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他说话的时候，眼睛闪闪发亮。“我从小就一直想着要准备应对各种困难和危险，我做好了准备，我告诉你！我准备好应对任何情况！但——”他的神色暗淡下来，“——事情发生得太出人意料了！好，我告诉你接下来发生了什么。我站在舰桥上，这时大管轮跑过来，央求我帮他们一把。我把他推开，实际上我打了他。‘你难道连自己的命都不救吗？你这个懦夫！’他嚷道。懦夫！他就是这样叫我的。哈！哈！哈！”

20
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As he spoke, his eyes shone. ’Ever since I was a boy, I’ve been preparing myself for difficulties and danger. I was ready, I tell you! Ready for anything! But—’ and the light went out of his face ’—this was so unexpected! Well, I’ll tell you the rest. As I was standing there on the bridge, the second engineer ran up and begged me to help them. I pushed him away, in fact I hit him. "Won’t you save your own life—you Coward?" he cried. Coward! That’s what he called me. Ha! ha! ha!’

21
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吉姆往后一倒，靠在椅子上，大声笑着。我从未听过如此苦涩的笑声。阳台上，我们身边的人都停止讲话，瞪大眼睛看着他。

21
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Jim threw himself back in his chair and laughed loudly. I had never heard anything as bitter as that noise. All around us on the veranda conversation stopped. People stared at him.

22
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过了一会儿，他接着讲述他的故事。“我对着帕特纳号说：‘沉没吧！沉下去，沉没吧！’我希望这一切结束。天空中有一大片黑色的雷雨云朝我们飘过来，我知道暴风雨就要来临，这艘船在劫难逃了。我看见二管轮乔治此时也加入进去，他们还在努力把救生艇放下来。突然，乔治仰面倒在甲板上不动了。他死了。我想是因为心脏病。就在那时，船长和另外两个人终于把救生艇放到水中，我听见一声巨响。他们上了救生艇，我能听到他们在下面喊：‘跳下来，乔治！跳下来！’”

22
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After a while he continued with his story. ’I was saying to the Patna, "Sink! Go on, sink!" I wanted it to finish. Then in the sky I saw a big black thunder cloud coming towards us, and I knew the ship couldn’t survive a storm. I saw that George, the third engineer, had now joined the other three, who were still trying to get the boat lowered. Suddenly George fell backwards, and lay without moving on the deck. He was dead. Heart trouble, I think. And just then there was a loud crash as the captain and the two others managed to get the boat down into the water. They were in the boat, and I could hear them shouting from below, "Jump, George! Jump!"’

23
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吉姆回想着那个可怕的时刻，微微颤抖了一下，然后一动不动地坐着。“船上有八百个活生生的人，而他们却在喊着让一个死人跳下去！‘跳下来，乔治，我们会接住你的！’我感到船在移动——我想它在下沉，在我的脚下……”吉姆又伸手抱住了头，停了一会儿，“我跳下去了……似乎是。”他补充道。他用清澈的蓝眼睛痛苦地看着我，我感觉自己像一位老人无助地看着一场幼稚的灾难。

23
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Jim trembled a little, and then sat very still, as he relived the awful moment. ’There were eight hundred living people on that ship, and they were shouting for the one dead man to jump! "Jump, George, we’ll catch you!" I felt the ship move—I thought she was going down, under me...’ Jim put his hand to his head again, and paused for a moment. ’I had jumped... it seems,’ he added. His clear blue eyes looked miserably at me, and I felt like an old man helplessly watching a childish disaster.

24
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“你似乎是跳下去了。”我表示赞同。

24
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It seems you did,’ I agreed.

25
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“在救生艇上，我真希望死掉。但我回不去了。我跳进了一个无底深渊……”

25
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When I was in the boat, I wished I could die. But I couldn’t go back. I’d jumped into an everlasting deep hole...’

26
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他说的太对了。他向我描述了他和那三人在救生艇上经历的可怕的几个小时。他们用脏话骂他，愤怒地指责他杀了乔治，甚至说要把他扔出去。“我不在乎我会出什么事，”吉姆接着说，“我不知道我会不会发疯，或是自杀。你明白，我救了自己的命，而我看重的一切都在那个夜晚和船一起沉没了。我们确信船沉了，你知道。我们把小艇划走的时候，没有听见喊叫声，也看不到船上有光亮。船长说我们能活下来真是幸运。我决定不自杀了。正确的路是活下去，寻找下一次机会，检验自己……”他沉默良久，然后接着说，“第二天，另一艘船救了我们。船长和另两个人佯装我们曾试图救乘客，但帕特纳号沉得太快了。这套说辞对我不重要。我确实跳下去了，不是吗？我必须承认。这就像欺骗了死人。”

26
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Nothing could be more true. He described to me the full horror of the hours he spent in that small boat with the three men. They called him evil names, angrily accused him of killing George, even talked of throwing him out of the boat. ’I didn’t care what happened to me,’ Jim went on. ’I wondered if I would go crazy, or kill myself. You see, I had saved my own life, while everything that was important to me had sunk with the ship in the night. We were certain the ship had sunk, you know. As we rowed away, we couldn’t hear any cries, or see her lights. The captain said we were lucky to survive. And I decided not to kill myself. The right thing was to go on, wait for another chance, test myself...’ After a long silence, he continued, ’Another ship picked us up the next day. The captain and the others pretended we had tried to save the passengers, but the Patna had sunk too fast. The story didn’t matter to me. I had jumped, hadn’t I? That’s what I had to live with. It was like cheating the dead.’

27
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“但没有人死。”我说。

27
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And there were no dead,’ I said.

28
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听我这么说，他转过身去。我知道一艘法国船发现帕特纳号在航行中失去控制。船长派几个船员把船带到了最近的港口亚丁港。尽管帕特纳号破损严重，但并没有沉，也没有人溺亡，只有二管轮乔治死了，人们在舰桥上发现了他的尸体。所有的朝圣者都被安顿到别的船只上，继续他们的麦加之旅。

28
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He turned away from me at that. I knew that a French ship had found the Patna sailing out of control. The captain had put several of his officers on board, and they sailed her to the nearest port, Aden. Although the Patna was badly damaged, it had not sunk, and nobody had died, except George, the third engineer, whose body was found on the bridge. The pilgrims were all put on to other ships to continue their journey to Mecca.

29
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但每个人都继续谈论着帕特纳号。现在，当水手们在东方的港口相遇时，还经常谈起这艘载着朝圣者的船只的离奇故事和逃走的几位船员，正如我今晚跟你们讲述的这样。

29
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But everybody went on talking about the Patna. And now, when seamen meet in the Eastern ports, they very often discuss the strange story of the pilgrim ship, and the officers who ran away, just as I am telling you about it tonight.

序号 英文/音标 中文解释 更多操作

seriousness

[’sɪəriəsnəs]

n.严肃;认真;严重性

sailor

[’seɪlə(r)]

n.海员;水手;扁平的硬边草帽

seaman

[’siːmən]

n.海员;水手

self-control

[selfkən’trəʊl]

n.克己;自制，自我调节

miserably

[’mɪzrəbli]

adv.悲惨地;糟糕地

heroic

[hə’rəʊɪk]

adj.英雄的;英勇的;巨大的

felted

[’feltɪd]

v. 把 ... 制成毡(使 ... 粘结)

helpless

[’helpləs]

adj.无助的;无依靠的

sleeper

[’sliːpə(r)]

n.睡眠者;枕木;卧铺;爆冷门;耳环

bang

[bæŋ]

n.巨响;重击;刘海

angrily

[’æŋɡrəli]

adv.气愤地

coward

[’kaʊəd]

n.懦夫

unseen

[ˌʌn’siːn]

adj.未看见的;即席的

Coward

[’kaʊəd]

n.懦夫

conversation

[ˌkɒnvə’seɪʃn]

n.谈话;会话

relive

[ˌriː’lɪv]

v.再生;再次经历

childish

[’tʃaɪldɪʃ]

adj.孩子气的;幼稚的

everlasting

[ˌevə’lɑːstɪŋ]

a. 永久的；不朽的;

pick

[pɪkt]

采摘，挑选；

pilgrim

[’pɪlɡrɪm]

n.朝圣者

pilgrim

[’pɪlɡrɪm]

n.朝圣者

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