通译双语文库:故园风雨后第一章我遇见塞巴斯蒂安·弗莱特——还遇见安东尼·布兰奇—

1

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“我以前来过这儿！”我说。我以前来过这儿。第一次到访是二十多年前，和塞巴斯蒂安一起来的。那是六月里的一天，天空澄澈无云，路边的水沟里密密长满了奶白色绒线菊，空气中充盈着夏天的味道，响晴薄日的。我常常去那儿，心境各不相同——在这最后一次故地重游时，萦绕在心头的却是堪堪初识的第一次。

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‘I have been here before,’ I said; I had been there before; first with Sebastian more than twenty years ago on a cloudless day in June, when the ditches were creamy with meadowsweet and the air heavy with all the scents of summer; it was a day of peculiar splendour, and though I had been there so often, in so many moods, it was to that first visit that my heart returned on this, my latest.

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那天，我又漫无目的地来到这里，其时恰逢赛艇周。现在的牛津就像莱昂尼斯那样业已沉没，被人遗忘且无法复原了——它被大水淹了。而彼时的牛津城俨然是一幅精细雕琢的蚀刻版画。在它宽阔、安静的大街上，人们高谈阔论着在纽曼时做过的事。在秋天的薄雾下，春季的沉灰中，还有罕见的晴朗夏日里——就像那天一样——栗子树花团锦簇，钟声飘过高高的山墙和穹顶，呼出荷载了几个世纪的青春的柔软气息。

2

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That day, too, I had come not knowing my destination. It was Eights Week. Oxford - submerged now and obliterated, irrecoverable as Lyonnesse, so quickly have the waters come flooding -in - Oxford, in those days, was still a city of aquatint. In her spacious and quiet streets men walked and spoke as they had done in Newman’s day; her autumnal mists, her grey springtime, and the rare glory of her summer days - such as that day - when the chestnut was in flower and the bells rang out high and clear over her gables and cupolas exhaled the soft airs of centuries of youth.

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那份寂静回响着我们的欢笑，夹杂着喧嚣，悠长飘远。与以往不同的是，这次的赛艇周迎来了一大帮闲散邋遢的女人，有数百人之多。她们一路叽叽喳喳，推推搡搡，踩着鹅卵石，踏着好多级台阶，东张西望；手里端着红酒杯，嘴里吃着黄瓜三明治，寻欢作乐；女人们撑着方头平底船在河上乱转，成群驶向赛艇比赛的驳船队……如此这般地，在泰晤士河和学生俱乐部里，充斥着她们像是吉尔伯特和沙利文荒诞剧中的奇异滑稽、不合时宜的大声说笑，她们在学校教堂里唱诗班的歌声中着实让人侧目。

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It was this cloistral hush which gave our laughter its resonance, and carried it still, joyously, -over the intervening clamour. Here, discordantly, in Eights Week, came a rabble of womankind, some hundreds strong, twittering and fluttering over the cobbles and up the steps, sight-seeing and pleasure-seeking, drinking claret cup, eating cucumber sandwiches; pushed in punts about the river, herded in droves to the college barges; greeted in the Isis and in the Union by a sudden display of peculiar, facetious, wholly distressing Gilbert-and-Sullivan badinage, and by peculiar choral effects in the College chapels.

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这帮子闯入者的喧闹声飘进每个角落。然而在我们的学院里，它不是一般的喧闹，实为引发粗俗骚乱的恶之源。这一切发生之时，我们正在举行舞会。在我住的方院前有片空地，此刻帐篷已经支起，地板业已铺就；门房小屋那里挤挤挨挨摆满了棕榈和杜鹃；最糟糕的是，住在我楼上胆小如鼠的自然科学院学监还把自己的房间出租给外人当更衣室了，那张煞有介事打印出来宣示这桩侮辱性行为的告示，就贴在离我的橡木大门没有六英寸远的地方。

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Echoes of the intruders penetrated every corner, and in my own College was no echo, but an original fount of the grossest disturbance. We were giving a ball. The front quad, where I lived, was floored and tented; palms and azaleas were banked round the porter’s lodge; worst of all, the don who lived above me, a mouse of a man connected with the Natural Sciences, had lent his rooms for a Ladies’ Cloakroom, and a printed notice proclaiming this outrage hung not six inches from my oak.

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没人能比我的校工反应更强烈更巨大了。

5

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No one felt more strongly about it than my scout.

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“没有偕女伴的先生们，说是要在接下来的几天里都不能入内用餐了，上外边吃去，走得越远越好，”他沮丧地说，“您打算在学校里吃午餐么？”

6

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‘Gentlemen who haven’t got ladies are asked as far as possible to take their meals out in the next few days,’ he announced despondently. ‘Will you be lunching in?’

7

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“不了，朗特。”

7

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‘No, Lunt.’

8

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“据说是要给这些下人一个机会。多么好的机会啊！我得去买个针垫儿放在更衣室里。可他们为什么要跳舞呀？我想不通。赛艇周从来都没办过舞会，考曼。现在倒成了度假里的重要活动，这和赛艇周没有关系，却郑重其事得就好像喝茶与划艇已经满足不了他们了似的。先生，如果你问我原因，那我觉得这一切都是战争惹出来的。没有战争，这些都不会发生。”对朗特来说，或者，对像朗特一样千千万万的人来说，一九二三年的一切都不会再回到一九一四年的样子。

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‘So as to give the servants a chance, they say. What a chance! I’ve got to buy a pin-cushion for the Ladies’ Cloakroom. What do they want with dancing? I don’t see the reason in it. There never was dancing before in Eights Week. Commem. now is another matter being in the vacation, but not in Eights Week, as if teas and the river wasn’t enough. If you ask me, sir, it’s all on account of the war. It couldn’t have happened but for that.’ For this was 1923 and for Lunt, as for thousands of others, things could never be the same as they had been in 1914.

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“现在呢，晚上要喝点儿酒，”他继续说着，依着他的老习惯，半拉身子在门里，半拉身子在门外，“瞧，要是一两个绅士吃个正式的午餐，喝点儿酒也算不得什么。但不会有舞会啊。这一切都是被那些打仗回来的人带来的。他们上岁数了，什么都不懂，也什么都不想学。这是真的。他们当中甚至还有些人上共济会跳舞去呢，不过，学校里的纪律学监会逮到他们的，您等着瞧吧……哎呀，塞巴斯蒂安先生来了，我可不能再站在这儿闲聊天了，我要赶紧买针垫儿去。”

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‘Now wine in the evening, he continued, as was his habit half in and half out of the door’ Cor one or two gentlemen to luncheon, there’s reason in. But not dancing. It all came in with the men back from the war. They were too old and they didn’t know and they wouldn’t learn. That’s the truth. And there’s some even goes dancing with the town at the Masonic - but the proctors will get them, you see . . . Well, here’s Lord Sebastian. I mustn’t stand here talking when there’s pin-cushions to get.’

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塞巴斯蒂安走进来——穿着条鸽子灰的法兰绒长裤，雪纺绸衬衫，打着条邮戳图案的查维特领带——碰巧跟我系的这条一样。“查尔斯，你们学院到底发生了什么事？是马戏团来表演了么？除了没看见大象，我可是什么都看见了。我必须得说整个牛津一下子变得滑稽怪异了……昨天晚上还突然出现了好些女人。你必须走，咱们得逃离这个地方，简直太危险了！我搞了辆车，一篓子草莓，还有一瓶拉佛瑞佩拉庄园产的红葡萄酒——这酒你从来没喝过，别在这儿装洋蒜了——这酒就着草莓，绝了。”

10

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Sebastian entered - dove-grey flannel, white crepe de Chine, a Charvet tie, my tie as it happened, a pattern of postage stamps ‘Charles - what in the world’s happening at your college? Is there a circus? I’ve seen everything except elephants. I must say the whole of Oxford has become most peculiar suddenly. Last night it was pullulating with women. You’re to come away at once, out of danger. I’ve got a motor-car and a basket of strawberries and a bottle of Chateau Peyraguey - which isn’t a wine you’ve ever tasted, so don’t pretend. It’s heaven with strawberries.’

11

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“我们上哪儿去？”

11

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‘Where are we going?’

12

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“去见个朋友。”

12

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‘To see a friend.’

13

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“霍金斯。我们身上得带点儿钱，要是万一想买点儿什么又买不了呢……这车是归那个叫哈德卡斯尔的主儿的，要是我开着开着摔死了，你就替我把这破烂儿还他。我不大会开。”

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‘Name of Hawkins. Bring some money in case we see anything we want to buy. The motor-car is the property of a man called Hardcastle. Return the bits to him if I kill myself; I’m not very good at driving.

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大门外面，曾经做过门房的冬季花园外面，停了一辆敞篷的双座莫里斯-考利。塞巴斯蒂安的泰迪熊就放在方向盘上。我们把小熊放在两人中间（“小心别让它生病了”），然后就开上车走了。圣玛丽教堂的大钟敲响了九点；我们险些撞上一个牧师——黑草帽，白胡子，骑着一辆自行车——正在大街上逆行着放飞自我。摩托车开过卡尔法克斯，开过车站，不多会儿就开到了波特莱路的农村。那年头很容易就看到农村了。

14

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Beyond the gate, beyond the winter garden that was once the lodge, stood an open two-seater Morris-Cowley. Sebastian’s teddy bear sat at the wheel. We put him, between us - ‘Take care he’s not sick’ -and drove off. The bells of St Mary’s were chiming nine; we escaped collision with a clergyman, blackstraw-hatted, white-bearded) pedalling quietly down the wrong side of the High Street, crossed Carfax, passed the station, and were soon in open country on the Botley Road; open country was easily reached in those days.

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“天不是还早吗？”塞巴斯蒂安说，“女人们必须把要对自己做的事情全份做足，归置利索了才肯下楼……都是被懒散的臭毛病给毁了……我们走！上帝保佑车主人哈德卡斯尔！”

15

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‘Isn’t it early?’ said Sebastian. ‘The women are still doing whatever women do to themselves before they come downstairs. Sloth has undone them. We’re away. God bless Hardcastle.’

16

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“哈德卡斯尔到底是谁呀？”

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‘Whoever he may be.’

17

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“他本来打算和我们一起来的……懒散的臭毛病也把他给毁了。呃，我跟他说过十点钟见。这人在我们学院算是很阴郁的一个。他过着双重生活——至少，我认为他有双面人生。他总不能白天黑夜的一直都是哈德卡斯尔吧？他能这样吗？——他还不腻味死了。他说他认识我父亲，这不可能。”

17

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‘He thought he was coming with us. Sloth, undid him too. Well, I did tell him ten. He’s a very gloomy man in my college. He leads a double life. At least I assume he does. He couldn’t go on being Hardcastle, day and night, always, could he? - or he’d die of it. He says he knows my father, which is impossible.’

18

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“怎么呢？”

18

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‘Why?’

19

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“谁都不认识我父亲，人们对他避之唯恐不及。你不知道这个？”

19

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‘No one knows papa. He’s a social leper. Hadn’t you heard?’

20

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“可惜咱们俩都不会唱歌。”我说。

20

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‘It’s a pity neither of us can sing,’ I said.

21

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来到斯文顿时，我们开出大路，随着高升的太阳，来到石墙和石屋间。大约十一点，塞巴斯蒂安毫无征兆地把车开进一条小车道，然后停下。炎热的天气迫使我们去找个树荫待着。

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At Swindon we turned off the main road and, as the sun mounted high, we were among dry-stone walls and ashlar houses. It was about eleven when Sebastian, without warning, turned the car into a cart track and stopped. It was hot enough now to make us seek the shade.

22

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几棵榆树下有个山丘，草都被羊啃光了，我们在那儿就着草莓喝酒。跟塞巴斯蒂安所保证的一样，这两样配起来吃果然绝了。然后我们叼着粗大的土耳其雪茄躺在地上，他看着上面的绿叶，我看着他。青灰色的烟雾升腾起来，没有风吹散那烟雾，就让它一直飘升到墨绿色的树荫里头。雪茄烟草的味道、环绕四周的夏日甘恬，还有葡萄美酒的香气混作一处，好像把我们悬浮于草皮之上一个指头宽的高度了。

22

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On a sheep-cropped knoll under a clump of elms we ate the strawberries and drank the wine - as Sebastian promised, they were delicious together - and we lit fat, Turkish cigarettes and lay on our backs, Sebastian’s eyes on the leaves above him, mine on his profile, while the blue-grey smoke rose, untroubled by any wind, to the blue-green shadows of foliage’, and the sweet scent of the tobacco, merged with the sweet summer scents around us and the fumes of the sweet golden wine seemed to lift us a finger’s breadth above the turf and hold us suspended.?

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“这正是埋一罐金子的好地方，”塞巴斯蒂安说，“我想在我幸福快活过的每一个地方都埋一件宝贝，然后等到又老又丑又不幸的时候，我就回去把它们挖出来，好好回忆。”

23

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‘Just the place to bury a crock of gold, ‘ said Sebastian. ‘I should like to bury something precious in every place where I’ve been happy and then when I was old and ugly and miserable, -I could come back and dig it up and remember.’

24

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这已经是我在牛津的第三个学期了，但我跟塞巴斯蒂安的偶然相识才算是我牛津生活的真正开始，这是上个学期的事。我们出自不同的高中，不在同一个学院，要不是仗着有一天晚上他在我们学院喝醉了酒，正好我又住在前院底层房间这么个偶然的机会，我很可能在学校待个三四年也遇不到他。

24

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This was my third term since matriculation, but I date my Oxford life from my first meeting with Sebastian, which had happened, by chance, in the middle of the term before. We were in different colleges and came from different schools; I might well have spent my three or four years in the University and never have met him, but for the chance of his getting drunk one evening in my college and of my having ground-floor rooms in .the front quadrangle.

25

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堂兄贾斯珀警告过我住底层房间有多么多么危险。我初入学校时，只有他，堂兄贾斯珀认为我是适合他周详指导的对象。我父亲那边什么都没有。其时，跟往常一样，父亲有意避免跟我谈论任何严肃的话题。直到离开学不到两周了，他才提起“学校”这个事儿来。他犹犹豫豫、闪烁其词地说：“一直说着你呢。我在‘雅典娜神庙’碰到你未来的学监了。原本是想探讨一下伊特鲁里亚人对永生不朽的看法的，可他偏要谈给工人阶级额外开设讲座的问题。所以双方妥协各退一步，就谈起你来了。我问他将来应该给你多少钱零花。

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I had been warned against the dangers of these rooms by my cousin Jasper, who alone, when I first came up, thought me a suitable subject for detailed guidance. My father offered me none. Then, as always, he eschewed serious conversation with me. It was not until I was within a fortnight of going up that he mentioned the subject at all; then he said, shyly and rather slyly: ‘I’ve been- talking about you. I met -your future Warden at the Athenaeum. I wanted to talk about Etruscan notions of immortality; he wanted to talk about extension lectures for the working-class; so we compromised and talked about you. I asked him what your allowance should be.

26

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他说：‘三百英镑一年，绝对不用多给。大家都是这么个数儿。’我感觉这个数目十分寒碜。我那时候拿的津贴都比大家的多。让我想想……世界上没有什么地方、什么时候，多个几百英镑就能左右得了一个人的重要与否和受欢迎程度的。我玩味地考虑给你六百英镑——”我父亲一边说着，一边微微抽了抽鼻子，他一感到有趣的时候就抽鼻子，“可转念一想呢，要是给学监知道了这事，他可能会觉得我存心冒犯他，所以么，我就给你五百五十英镑吧。”我感谢了他。

26

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He said, “Three hundred a year; on no account give him more; that’s all most men have.” I thought that a deplorable answer. I had more than most men when I was up, and my recollection is that nowhere else in the world and at no other time, do a few hundred pounds, one way or the other, makee so much difference to one’s importance, and popularity. I toyed with the idea of giving you six hundred,’ said my father, snuffling a little, as he did when he was amused, ‘but I reflected that, should the Warden come to hear of it, it might sound deliberately impolite. So I shall e you five hundred and fifty.’ I thanked him.

27

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“是的，没错，我是娇惯了你一些。但你也得知道，这全都是由存款里提出来的，都是钱啊……我想是时候给你些忠告了。除了你堂兄阿尔弗莱德特地骑着马赶到波顿来提建议之外，我本人可从来没有得到过任何别人的指教。你知道他是怎么忠告我的吗？‘内德，’他说，‘有件事我求你务必要做到：在校期间，星期天一定要戴上礼帽。别人判断一个人，根本不靠别的，就靠他的礼帽。’你看看——”我父亲一边接着说，一边用力地抽了一下鼻子，“我总是戴着礼帽的。有的人戴，有的人就不戴。我从来看不出戴或不戴礼帽的这两类人有什么不同，也没有听见有人议论过这个。但我还是戴着。这么做只是可以表明，凡是合时宜的、审慎的忠告是能够产生某些影响的。我多希望能给你一些这样的忠告啊，可我给不了。”

27

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Yes, it’s indulgent of me, but it all comes out of capital, you know. I suppose this is the time I should give you advice. I never had any myself except once from your cousin Alfred. Do you know, in the summer before I was going up, your cousin Alfred rode over to Boughton especially to give me a piece of advice? And do you know what the advice was? “Ned,” he said, “there’s one thing I must beg of you. Always wear a tall hat on Sundays during term. It is by that, more than anything, that a man is judged.” And do you know,’ continued my father, snuffling deeply, ‘I always did? Some men did, some didn’t. I never saw any difference between them or heard it commented on, but I always wore mine. It only shows what effect judicious advice can have, properly delivered at the right moment. I wish I had some for you, but I haven’t.’

28

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我堂兄贾斯珀——大伯父的儿子很好地弥补了这一缺失。我父亲不止一次半开玩笑地称他为“一家之长”。他正在读大学四年级，估计这个学期结束前会获得穿上牛津划船队蓝色衣服的殊荣。他还是坎宁俱乐部的秘书，低年级学生公共休息室的负责人，是他们学院举足轻重的一个人物。我上大学的第一周，他就来正式拜访过我，饮过下午茶。他吃掉了十分难以消化的一餐：蜂蜜小圆面包、凤尾鱼吐司、福乐氏坚果蛋糕……此后点着烟斗，躺在柳条椅子上，定下我应当遵守的各种行为准则。他说起了很多科目，甚至到现在，我还能逐字逐句地背下他所说的大部分内容：“……你读历史？那是一门够体面的学科。

28

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My cousin Jasper made good the loss; he was the son of my father’s elder brother, to whom he referred more than once, only half facetiously, as ‘the Head of the Family’; he was in his fourth year and, the term before, had come within appreciable distance of getting his rowing blue; he was secretary of the Canning and president of the J.C.R.; a considerable person in college. He called on me formally during my first week and stayed to tea; he ate a very heavy meal of honey-buns, anchovy toast, and Fuller’s walnut cake, then he lit his pipe and, lying back in the basketchair, laid down the rules of conduct which I should follow; he covered most subjects; even today I could repeat much of what he said, word for, word. ‘...You’re reading History? A perfectly respectable school.

29

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最糟糕的是‘英国文学’，其次是‘当代名著’。你不是第一就是第四，不做龙头老大就只能是土鸡尾巴。任何中间的名次都毫无价值。花时间在看着好看的第二名上，花多少时间等于白白浪费多少时间。你得去听最好的讲座——比如说，阿克赖特论述德摩斯梯尼的那个——不管这些讲座是不是你的学院主办的。至于衣着打扮么，就照着你在乡间别墅时那样。千万不能穿粗花呢外套搭配法兰绒长裤——永远要穿成套的正装。上伦敦的裁缝店找个好裁缝去做，那里做工好，能赊账，账期也长……俱乐部么，现在就进卡尔顿俱乐部去，二年级一开始，就进格里德俱乐部。要是想参加学生会的竞选——其实这倒也不是什么坏事——首先要在坎宁和查塔姆俱乐部把你的好口碑传出去。给报纸投投稿……不要去野猪山……”

29

-

The very worst is English literature and the next worst is Modern Greats. You want either a first or a fourth. There is no value in anything between. Time spent on a good second is time thrown away. You should go to the best lectures Arkwright on Demosthenes for instance - irrespective of whether they are in your school or not...Clothes. Dress as you do in a country house. Never wear a tweed coat and flannel trousers - always a suit. And go to a London tailor; you get better cut and longer credit...Clubs. Join the Carlton now and the Grid at the beginning of your second year. If you want to run for the Union - and it’s not a bad thing to do - make your reputation outside first, at the Canning or the Chatham, and begin by speaking on the paper...Keep clear of Boar’s Hill...’

30

-

对面山墙之上的苍穹闪耀出万道霞光，然后就慢慢昏暗下来。我往火炉里又加了些炭，打开灯，看得见他那条伦敦定制的肥大的灯笼裤和利安德牌领带，仍然颇为有型有款。“别拿对待中学教师那套去对待大学教师，像对待教区牧师那样就行了……你会发现到二年级时你得花上一半时间去甩掉你一年级时结交的那些不入流的狐朋狗友。还要小心圣公会的人，他们都是些搞鸡奸的，口音又难听。事实上，你得很有心眼儿地避开一切宗教团体，它们只会招来祸害……”

30

-

The sky over the opposing gables glowed and then darkened; I put more coal on the fire and turned on the light, revealing in their respectability his London-made plus-fours and his Leander tie...’Don’t treat dons like schoolmasters; treat them as you would the vicar at home...You’ll find you spend half your second year shaking off the undesirable friends you made in your first...Beware of the Anglo-Catholics - they’re all sodomites with unpleasant accents. In fact, steer clear of all the religious groups; they do nothing but harm...’

31

-

堂兄临走时说：“最后一点，调换一下房间吧。”我住的房间很宽敞，有朝内凹进的飘窗，涂上了颜料，还镶有十八世纪的嵌块。我作为大一新生就能搞到这种房间是得有多幸运啊。“我见过许多人，就是因为住在四方院子前排底层给沦落毁掉了。”堂兄严肃认真地说，“人们会顺道进来这里，会把外套乱丢进你房间，然后吃饭前再来取，你给他们拿雪利酒喝……你根本不明就里地还搞不清状况呢，就给学院里的浪子们开了个免费的酒吧。”

31

-

Finally, just as he was going, he said, ‘One last point. Change your rooms’ - They were large, with deeply recessed windows and painted, eighteenth-century panelling; I was lucky as a freshman to get them. ‘I’ve seen many a man ruined through having ground-floor rooms in the front quad,’ said my cousin with deep gravity. ‘People start dropping in. They leave their, gowns here and come and collect them before hall; you start giving them a sherry. Before you know where you are, you’ve opened a free bar for all the undesirables of the college.’

32

-

我不知道自己是否有意听从了他的建议。当然没有换房间了，这窗下种了些紫罗兰，夏天的夜晚我的房间就充满花香。

32

-

I do not know that I ever, consciously, followed any of this advice. I certainly never changed my rooms - there were gillyflowers growing below the windows which on summer evenings filled them with fragrance.

33

-

回首往事时我才明白，要是把整个青春时期全盘奉献给那种虚假的少年老成或装出来的天真无邪，就犹如去私下里改动别人画在门边记录身高的标识日期一样，都是很轻易的事情么。我很想考虑一下——有时候的确也是这么考虑的——自己用莫里斯和阿伦德尔的作品装饰一下这间房子，再往自己的书架上摆满十七世纪的大开本图书，用俄国皮革和波纹绸做封皮的法兰西第二帝国时期的小说。可这不是事实。

33

-

It is easy, retrospectively, to endow one’s youth with a false precocity or a false innocence; to tamper with the dates marking one’s stature on the edge of the door. I should like to think - indeed I sometimes do think - that I decorated those rooms with Morris stuffs and Arundel prints and that my shelves we’re filled with seventeenth-century folios and French novels of the second empire in Russia-leather and watered silk. But this was not the truth.

34

-

在我住进去的第一天下午，我就自豪地将梵高的《向日葵》复制品挂在壁炉上方了，还竖起了一道屏风，上面是罗杰·弗莱画的普罗旺斯地平线。这扇屏风是我在欧米茄工艺品厂因资不抵债而举行拍卖时廉价买来的。

34

-

On my first afternoon I proudly hung a reproduction of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers over the fire and set up a screen, painted by Roger Fry with a Provencal landscape, which I had bought inexpensively when the Omega workshops were sold up.

35

-

我还贴了张麦克奈特·考弗画的海报，从诗书铺子弄来的《韵律表》，还有一想起就悲从中来的那个摆在壁炉架上两支细长黑蜡烛之间的长得像波莉·皮奇恩的瓷娃娃。我的书少量且平常——罗杰·弗莱的《视觉与设计》，美第奇版的《一个施拉普郡的少年》《维多利亚时期名人传》，几本《乔治王朝诗选》《罪恶街》和《南风》——我早年的朋友在这样的背景里显得很般配。柯林斯，温彻斯特学院的，他是未来牛津大学的教师，是个学识渊博、小孩儿心性的人；还有一小群读书人，这些人在浮夸的“美学主义”和在伊弗莱路与惠灵顿广场的公寓里艰苦奋斗的无产阶级学者之间，坚持走着一条中间主义路线。

35

-

I displayed also a poster by McKnight Kauffer and Rhyme Sheets from the Poetry Bookshop, and, most painful to recall, a porcelain figure of Polly Peachum which stood between black tapers on the chimney-piece.My books were meagre and commonplace - Roger Fry’s Vision and Design, the Medici Press edition of A Shropshire Lad, Eminent Victorians, some volumes of Georgian Poetry, Sinister Street, and South Wind - and my earliest friends fitted well into this background; they were Collins, a Wykehamist, an embryo don, a man of solid reading and childlike humour, and a small circle of college intellectuals, who maintained a middle course of culture between the flamboyant ‘aesthetes’ and the roletarian scholars who scrambled fiercely for facts in the lodging houses of the Iffley Road and Wellington Square.

36

-

第一学期，我发现自己被这样的文化圈子接纳了，它给我提供了我在中学六年级所喜欢的那样的朋友；反过来讲，中学六年级又培养了我现在的性格。即使在我初进牛津的那些日子，生活的全部内容都在牛津，有自己的房间、自己的支票簿，让人觉得又兴奋又刺激，可我心底里仍然有种感觉，牛津要给我的，远不止这些。

36

-

It was by this circle that I found myself adopted during my first term; they provided the kind of company I had enjoyed in the sixth form at school, for which the sixth form had prepared me; but even in the earliest days, when the whole business of living at Oxford, with rooms of my own and my own cheque book, was a source of excitement, I felt at heart that this was not all which Oxford had to offer.

37

-

跟塞巴斯蒂安一接近，这些雾霾般的人物便似乎静静地隐入背景渐逝渐远，最后无影无踪了，像是高地羚羊没入雾霭笼罩的灌木丛里去了一样。柯林斯曾向我揭示过现代美学的谬误：“……蕴涵着意义的形式存在与否，都取决于量。如果塞尚能够在他两维的画布上表现出三维空间，那么兰西尔犬的忠诚也必能够在长耳犬的眼睛里表现出来……”直到塞巴斯蒂安懒洋洋地翻着克里夫·贝尔的《艺术》，念叨着：“‘人们对一只蝴蝶或一朵花的感情，会像对一个大教堂或一幅画一样吗？’是的，我就是这么觉得的啊。”——直到他念到这里，我才睁开了眼。

37

-

At Sebastian’s approach these grey figures seemed quietly to fade into the landscape and vanish, like highland sheep in the misty heather. Collins had exposed the fallacy of modern aesthetics to me: ‘...the whole argument from Significant Form stands or falls by volume. If you allow C’ezanne to represent a third dimension on his two-dimensional canvas, then you must allow Landseer his gleam of loyalty in the spaniel’s eye’...but it was not until Sebastian, idly turning the page of Clive Bell’s Art, read: “’Does anyone feel the same kind of emotion for a butterfly or a flower that he feels for a cathedral or a picture?” Yes. I do,’ that my eyes were opened.

38

-

在我见到塞巴斯蒂安的真人以前，我就知道他的模样。这是想当然命中注定的。由于他引人注目的漂亮、乖僻的行为方式，才进学校第一周，就成了这一年新生中最为抢眼的人物。我第一次见他是在杰默理发店，被他电到与其说是因为他的相貌，倒不如说是他带着一只很大的玩具泰迪熊。

38

-

I knew Sebastian by sight long before I met him. That was unavoidable for, from his first week, he was the most conspicuous man of his year by reason of his beauty, which was arresting, and his eccentricities of behaviour, which seemed to know no bounds. My first sight of him was in the door of Germer’s, and, on that occasion, I was struck less by his looks than by the fact that he was carrying a large teddy-bear.

39

-

“那位是——”我坐到椅子上时理发师对我说，“塞巴斯蒂安·弗莱特少爷。最有趣的年轻绅士。”

39

-

‘That,’ said the barber, as I took his chair, ‘was Lord Sebastian Flyte. A most amusing young gentleman.’

40

-

“明显是的。”我冷冷地说。

40

-

‘Apparently,’ I said coldly.

41

-

“马奇梅因勋爵家的二少爷。他哥哥布莱兹赫德伯爵上学期离开学校了。那位可与众不同了，是一位安静的绅士，像个老头儿。你猜塞巴斯蒂安少爷来干吗？他来给他的熊要一把发刷，还要鬃毛很硬的……可不是梳熊毛的哦，他说他生气时要用发刷打熊的屁股，要吓唬吓唬它。塞巴斯蒂安买了只很漂亮的发刷，象牙背的，还让人在上面刻上‘阿洛伊修斯’——就是那熊的名字。”

41

-

‘The Marquis of Marchmain’s second boy. His brother, the Earl of Brideshead, went down last term. Now he was very different, a very quiet gentleman’, quite like an old man. What do you suppose Lord Sebastian wanted? A hair brush for his teddybear; it had to have very stiff bristies, not, Lord Sebastian said, to brush him with, but to threaten him with a spanking when he was sulky. He bought a very nice one with an ivory back and he’s having “Aloysius” engraved on it’ - that’s the bear’s name.’

42

-

理发师在他的工作时间里，一定早有大把的机会去烦腻大学生们的幻想，但他显然被这只熊吸引了。但我对塞巴斯蒂安还是吹毛求疵。此后又见到过他几次，一次他坐在双轮轻便马车上，一次他戴着假络腮胡在乔治街的餐厅吃饭。尽管其时柯林斯正在读着弗洛伊德，能用好些技术术语去掩盖一切，但我对塞巴斯蒂安的印象仍然没有变好。就是我们终于见面的时候，情形也没有好到哪儿去。

42

-

The man, who, in his time, had had ample chance to tire of undergraduate fantasy, was plainly-captivated. I, however, remained censorious, and subsequent glimpses of him, driving in a hansom cab and dining at the George in false whiskers, did not soften me, although Collins, who was reading Freud, had a number of technical terms to cover everything.? Nor, when at last we met, were the circumstances propitious.

43

-

那是三月初的一个晚上，接近午夜了，我正在请学院里的读书人朋友喝热过的甜葡萄酒，炉火熊熊燃烧，房间里满是烟尘气。谈了太多形而上的东西，真是叫人腻味透了。我打开窗子，外面院子传来很罕见的撒酒疯的笑声和跌跌撞撞的脚步声。

43

-

It was shortly before midnight in early March; I had been entertaining the college intellectuals to mulled claret; the fire was roaring, the air of my room heavy with smoke and spice, and my mind weary with metaphysics. I threw open my windows and from the quad outside came the not uncommon sound of bibulous laughter and unsteady steps.

44

-

有个声音说“等一下”，另一个声音说“来吧”，再一个说“快了……宿舍……等铃声停了的……”，最后出现一个比其他声音更清楚一点儿的声音说：“你知道，我太难受了……得出去一下。”然后一张脸出现在我的窗口，我知道这是塞巴斯蒂安，但不是我以前看到的那张脸——那张神采奕奕、容光焕发的快活脸。他眼神无法聚焦地看了我一会儿，然后弯着腰走进屋里，吐了。

44

-

A voice said:‘Hold up’; another, ‘Come on’; another, ‘Plenty of time...House...till Tom stops ringing’; and another, clearer than the rest, ‘D’you know I feel most unaccountably unwell. I must leave you a minute,’ and there appeared at my window the face I knew to be Sebastian’s, but not, as I had formerly seen it, alive and alight with gaiety; he looked at me for a moment with unfocused eyes and then, leaning forward well into the room, he was sick.

45

-

晚餐派对以这种方式收场的并不鲜见，事实上校工清扫的价目表上已经对此有了明码标价。大家都在反复试验、探索着如何调制混合型葡萄酒。塞巴斯蒂安在无路可走的极端时刻，选择了一扇开着的窗户，这做法挟带着某种又疯狂又惹人爱的秩序感。可不管怎么说，这到底算不得一个好的相见。

45

-

It was not unusual for dinner parties to end in that way; there was in fact a recognized tariff for the scout on such occasions; we were all learning, by trial and error, to carry our wine. There was also a kind of insane and endearing orderliness about Sebastian’s choice, in his extremity, of an open window. But, when all is said, it remained an unpropitious meeting.

46

-

塞巴斯蒂安的朋友把他背到大门口，几分钟后，他的东道主，一个跟我同年级的、伊顿公学来的和蔼可亲的学生过来致歉。这人自己也喝醉了，翻过来掉过去不断重复地解释，最后还落得个眼泪汪汪。“酒掺的东西太杂了，”他说，“问题不在喝多喝少上，也不在酒本身的质量上，问题在于太杂了……理解了这一点，就理解了事情的真相了。理解一切！原谅一切！”

46

-

His friends bore him to the gate and, in a few minutes, his host, an amiable Etonian of my year, returned to apologize. He, too, was tipsy and his explanations were repetitive and, towards the end, tearful. ‘The wines were too various,’ he said: ‘it was neither the quality nor the quantity that was at fault. It was the mixture. Grasp that and you have the root of the matter. To understand all is to forgive all.’

47

-

“是啊。”说是这么说，但翌日清晨见到伦特，他仍是一肚子牢骚的样子。

47

-

‘Yes,’ I said, but it was with a sense of grievance that I faced Lunt’s reproaches next morning.

48

-

“你们五个人喝两大壶热葡萄酒，”伦特说，“这事儿就一定避无可避了。连挪到窗边去吐都去不了。喝不了就别这么喝嘛。”

48

-

‘A couple of jugs of mulled claret between the five of you,’ Lunt said, ‘and this had to happen. Couldn’t even get to the window. Those that can’t keep it down are better without it.’

49

-

“不是我们，是别的学院的人。”

49

-

‘It wasn’t one of my party. It was someone from out of college.’

50

-

“不管是谁，收拾起来都够恶心的。”

50

-

‘Well, it’s just as nasty clearing it up, whoever it was.’

51

-

“碗柜上有五先令。”

51

-

‘There’s five shillings on the sideboard.’

52

-

“我瞧见了。谢谢您。可随便哪天一大早上起来，我宁可不要这份儿钱，也不愿意收拾这些脏东西。”

52

-

‘So I saw and thank you, but I’d rather not have the money and not have the mess, any morning.’

53

-

我取了大衣走出去，让校工在那里收拾。那时候我还常常去听讲，十一点才回来。我进门发现房间里摆满了鲜花，那些花看起来就像，其实根本就是，足够一个花摊卖上一整天的量。凡是可用的容器都插上了花……每个地方都放上了花。还看到伦特用牛皮纸把最后的一些鲜花打好包，打算偷偷拿回家去。

53

-

I took my gown and left him to his task. I still frequented the lecture-room in those days, and it was after eleven when I returned to college. I found my room full of flowers; what looked like, and, in fact, was, the entire day’s stock of a market-stall stood in every conceivable vessel in every part of the room. Lunt was secreting the last of them in brown paper preparatory to taking them home.

54

-

“伦特，这些花是哪儿来的？”

54

-

‘Lunt, what is all this?’

55

-

“先生，昨儿晚上来的那位先生放的，他还给你留了张条子。”

55

-

‘The gentleman from last night, sir, he left a note for you.’

56

-

下面的话是用彩色铅笔写在一大张我很喜爱的上等画纸上的：深感愧悔。阿洛伊修斯要看到您饶恕我了才会再跟我说话。所以，今天请您务必赏脸午餐。塞巴斯蒂安·弗莱特。现在回想起来，他想当然地认为我应该知道他住在哪里，他一贯如此啦。不过当时我还真知道。

56

-

The note was written in conté crayon on a whole sheet of my choice Whatman H.P.? drawing paper: I am very contrite. Aloysius won’t speak to me until he sees I am forgiven, so please come to luncheon today. Sebastian Flyte. It was typical of him, I reflected, to assume I knew where he lived; but, then, I did know.?

57

-

“这位先生最讨人喜欢了！能给他打扫卫生我深感荣幸。先生，我想你是要出去吃午饭了——我跟柯林斯先生和帕特里奇先生这么说了——他们本来是要和你在这里吃饭的。”

57

-

‘A most amusing gentleman, I’m sure it’s quite a pleasure to clean up after him. I take it you’re lunching out, sir. I told Mr Collins and Mr Partridge so - they wanted to have their commons in here with you.’

58

-

“对，伦特，我出去吃。”

58

-

‘Yes, Lunt, lunching out.’

59

-

这次午餐——结果证明是个午餐会——我生活的新纪元伊始。

59

-

That luncheon party - for party it proved to be - was the beginning o f a new epoch in my life.

60

-

我心里打着鼓，并没有十足把握能找到他的住处。那是个我从未去过的陌生地方。况且我耳边还响着一种微弱的、假正经的、像柯林斯那个调调儿的警醒声音，警告我最好别去，赶紧回家。可那些日子我正寻求着情感上的慰藉，所以还是满怀好奇和某种说不清道不明的忧虑去了。我感到终究会找到矮山墙上的那扇门，那扇门，在我之前别人业已找到过，它通往与世隔绝、迷人的花园，就在这座灰色城池的中心，哪扇窗都望不见它。

60

-

I went there uncertainly, for it was foreign ground and there was a tiny, priggish, warning voice in my ear which in the tones of Collins told me it was seemly to hold back. But I was in search of love in those days, and I went full of curiosity and the faint, unrecognized apprehension that here, at last, I should find that low door in the wall, which others, I knew had found before me, which opened on an enclosed and enchanted garden, which was somewhere, not overlooked by any window, in the heart of that grey city.

61

-

塞巴斯蒂安住在“基督教堂”，雄踞在“草地建筑”楼里。我到的时候只有他一个人，正从桌子中间长满青苔的大鸟巢中取出鸟蛋来剥壳。

61

-

Sebastian lived at Christ Church, high in Meadow Buildings. He was alone when I came, peeling a plover’s egg taken from the large nest of moss in the centre of his table.

62

-

“我刚刚数了一下，”他说，“每人五个，还多两个，我正在吃多出来的两个。今天简直饿坏了。昨晚拼命喝了两种酒，醉得发麻，现在觉得昨天晚上根本就是个梦。不要弄醒我。”他可真迷人，带着不辨雄雌的中性美，会让年轻人全情讴歌，然后在第一缕寒风中萎谢。

62

-

‘I’ve just counted them,’ he said. ‘There were five each and two over, so I’m having the two. I’m unaccountably hungry today. I put myself unreservedly in the hands of Dolbear and Goodall, and feel so drugged that I’ve begun to believe that the whole of yesterday evening was a dream. Please don’t wake me up.He was entrancing, with that epicene beauty which in extreme youth sings aloud for love and withers at the first cold wind.

63

-

他的房间塞满了乱七八糟的东西——一架装在哥特式盒子里的簧风琴，一只象足模样的纸篓，一盘子蜡制水果，两只大得不成比例的塞夫勒细瓷花瓶，几幅镶在画框中的杜米埃尔画作，简陋的学院家具和一张大餐桌，越发显得房间不协调。壁炉架上摆满了伦敦那些女主人送来的请柬。

63

-

His room was filled with a. strange jumble of objects - a harmonium in a gothic case, an elephant’s-foot waste-paper basket, a dome of wax fruit, two disproportionately large Sèvres vases, framed drawings by Daumier - made all the more incongruous by the austere college furniture and the large luncheon table. His chimney-piece was covered in cards of invitation from London hostesses.

64

-

“混蛋霍布森把阿洛伊修斯搁到隔壁去了。”他说，“不过这样也好，因为这儿也没有鸟蛋给它吃了。你知道吗，霍布森讨厌阿洛伊修斯。我希望我也有个像你的校工那样的管家，早上他对我可好了，要是换作别人可能就很严厉。”

64

-

‘That beast Hobson has put Aloysius next door,’ he said. ‘Perhaps it’s as well, as there wouldn’t have been any plovers’ eggs for him. D’you know, Hobson hates Aloysius. I wish I had a scout like yours. He was sweet to me this morning where some people might have been quite strict.’

65

-

午餐会的客人们来了。其中三位是从伊顿公学来的新生，是那种温文尔雅却为人冷淡的年轻人。头天晚上他们才去了伦敦的舞会，可再谈起这事来，仿佛是参加了一个毫无感情的近亲的葬礼一样。每个人一进来就直奔鸟蛋，然后看看塞巴斯蒂安，再带着种客气的冷漠神情看看我，似乎是说“我们无论如何也不该冒昧地提醒你这是初次见面”。

65

-

The party assembled. There were three Etonian freshmen, mild, elegant, detached young men who had all been to a dance in London the night before, and spoke of it as though it had been the funeral of a near but unloved kinsman. Each as he came into the room made first for the plovers’ eggs, then noticed Sebastian and then myself with a polite lack of curiosity which seemed to say: ‘We should not dream of being so offensive as to suggest that you never met us before.’

66

-

“今年头一次吃鸟蛋，”他们说，“打哪儿弄来的？”

66

-

‘The first this year,’ they said. ‘Where do you get them?’

67

-

“我妈妈从布莱德斯赫德庄园给送过来的。鸟儿们总是早早地就给她生蛋。”吃完鸟蛋，接着在吃纽堡龙虾的时候，最后一位客人到了。

67

-

‘Mummy sends them from Brideshead. They always lay early for her.’ When the eggs were gone and we were eating the lobster Newburg, the last guest arrived.

68

-

“亲爱的，”他说，“一直走不开。才跟我那位不不不不可理喻的导师共进午餐。我走的时候，他还特奇怪我为什么要离开他。我就告诉他，我得回去换身儿衣服踢踢踢踢足球。”

68

-

‘My dear,’ he said, ‘I couldn’t get away before. I was lunching with my p-p-preposterous tutor. He thought it ‘was very odd my leaving when I did. I told him I had to change for F-f-footer.’

69

-

来者瘦高，肤色很深，双眼漂亮。我们这些人穿着粗花呢衣服和乡村款的结实皮鞋，他却穿着一身棕褐色带着很花哨的亮白条纹衣服，一双小山羊皮鞋，大大的蝴蝶领结，进房门就脱下黄色软皮手套。他有点儿像法国人，又有点儿像美国人，也许，还有点儿犹太人范儿……整体上看蛮异国情调的。

69

-

He was tall, slim, rather swarthy, with large saucy eyes. The rest of us wore rough tweeds and brogues. He had on a smooth chocolate-brown suit with loud white stripes, suède shoes, a large bow-tie and he drew off yellow, wash-leather gloves as he came into the room; part Gallic, part Yankee, part, perhaps Jew; wholly exotic.

70

-

无需多说，这位就是安东尼·布兰奇了，“唯美主义典范”，这个倒霉的绰号与他的风流韵事从切尔韦尔河畔一直跟到萨莫维尔。当他神气活现、趾高气扬地走在大街上时，人们曾多少次地指给我看过。在乔治教堂，我听到他旁若无人般大声嚷嚷着向陈规陋习宣战。这会儿遇见他，在塞巴斯蒂安的强烈感应之下，我发现自己也贪婪地喜欢上安东尼·布兰奇了。

70

-

This, I did not need telling, was Anthony Blanche, the ‘aesthete’ par excellence, a byword of iniquity from Cherwell Edge to Somerville. He had been pointed out to me often in the streets, as he pranced along with his high peacock tread; I had heard his voice in the George challenging the conventions; and now meeting him, under the spell of Sebastian, I found myself enjoying him voraciously.?

71

-

午餐后，布兰奇拿了个喇叭筒——是从塞巴斯蒂安房间的古董堆里意外翻出来的——站到阳台上，用喇叭筒冲着要去泰晤士河边、穿着厚厚的运动服、模糊不清的人，用他那抵死缠绵的声调背诵着《荒原》里的几段。

71

-

After luncheon he stood on, the balcony with a megaphone which had appeared surprisingly among the bric-a-brac of Sebastian’s room, and in languishing tones recited passages from The Waste Land to the sweatered and muffled throng that was on its way to the river.

72

-

“我，泰瑞西斯，受尽了苦难。”他站在威尼斯拱门那儿向着那些人抽抽搭搭地念：曾在这同一张沙——沙发或床上出演过，我，曾在底比斯城倚墙而坐，又曾在最卑——卑微的死者中间独行……

72

-

‘I, Tiresias, have foresuffered all,’ he sobbed to them from the Venetian arches;‘Enacted on this same d-divan or b-bed, I who have sat by Thebes below the wall And walked among the 1-1-lowest of the dead...’

73

-

然后他轻巧地走进房里，“我让他们多么惊喜（吓得够呛）！那些划划划船的棒小伙子都是我的心头大爱呀”。我们坐下来喝橘酒，这时那个伊顿公学来的最斯文、最遗世独立的客人一边哼唱着阿尔弗莱德·德尼斯的“他们把她阵亡的战士带回家”，一边弹着风琴给自己伴奏。

73

-

And then, stepping lightly into the room, ‘How I have surprised them! All b-boatmen are Grace Darlings to me. ‘ We sat on sipping Cointreau while the mildest and most detached of the Etonians sang: ‘Home they brought her warrior dead’ to his own accompaniment on the harmonium.

74

-

我们四点才散。

74

-

It was four o’clock before we broke up.

75

-

安东尼·布兰奇是第一个走的。他轮番跟我们每一个人道别，既正式又表达了倾慕。他对塞巴斯蒂安说：“亲爱的，我想在你身上插满有倒刺的箭，像插在针针针针垫儿上一样。”对着我时他说，“塞巴斯蒂安发现了你真是太聪明了。你藏在哪儿来着？我要钻进你的地洞里去，像臭鼬一样去烦烦烦烦你。”

75

-

Anthony Blanche was the first to go. He took formal and complimentary leave of each of us in turn. To Sebastian he said: ‘My dear, I should like to stick you full of barbed arrows like a p-p-pin-cushion,’ and to me: ‘I think it’s perfectly brilliant of Sebastian to have discovered you. Where do you lurk? I shall come down your burrow and ch-chivvy you out like an old st-t-toat.’

76

-

布兰奇走后不久其他人也都走了。我站起来想跟他们一块儿走，但塞巴斯蒂安说：“还有点儿橘酒呢。”这么着，我就留下来了，过一会儿他又说：“我要去植物园走走。”

76

-

The others left soon after him. I rose to go with them, but Sebastian said: ‘Have some more Cointreau,’ so I stayed and later he said, ‘I must go to the Botanical Gardens.’

77

-

“为什么？”

77

-

‘Why? ‘

78

-

“去看那里的常春藤呀。”

78

-

‘To see the ivy.’

79

-

听上去不错，我就和他一起去了。我们在默顿学院墙下走着，他挽着我的手臂。

79

-

It seemed a good enough reason and I went with him. He took my arm as we walked under the walls of Merton.

80

-

“我还没来过植物园呢。”我说。

80

-

‘I’ve never been to the Botanical Gardens,’ I said.

81

-

“噢，查尔斯，那你要好好补补课了！那里有一个很美的拱门，还有很多我都没见过的常春藤。要是没有了植物园，我真不知道还能去哪里。”

81

-

‘Oh, Charles, what a lot you have to learn! There’s a beautiful arch there and more different kinds of ivy than I knew existed. I don’t know where I should be without the Botanical Gardens.’

82

-

在终于回到自己的房间，发现还是我早晨离开时的老样子时，感到一股沉闷压过来，这种感觉是从未有过的。出了什么问题了吗？除了金黄色的水仙，一切都恍若隔世，似乎什么都不真切了。是那扇屏风作的怪吗？我把它翻转过来，让它面朝墙。好一些了。

82

-

When at length I returned to my rooms and found them exactly as I had left them that morning, I detected a jejune air that had not irked me before. What was wrong? Nothing except the golden daffodils seemed to be real. Was it the screen? I turned it face to the wall. That was better.

83

-

这就是那扇屏风的结局。伦特从来就不待见它，几天后，他把屏风搬到他的储物间里，那里尽是墩布和水桶。那一天，是我和塞巴斯蒂安友谊的开始，所以才会有六月的早晨，在茂密的树荫下，我躺在他身旁，看着他嘴里吐出来的烟一直飘到枝叶上。

83

-

It was the end of the screen. Lunt never liked it, and after a few days he took it away, to an obscure refuge he had under the stairs, full of mops and buckets. That day was the beginning of my friendship with Sebastian, and thus it came about, that morning in June, that I was lying beside him in the shade of the high elms watching the smoke from his lips drift up into the branches.

84

-

不久，我们开上车继续前进，过了一点钟，饿了。我们在一家小旅馆前停下来，那里原本是个农场。我们吃了鸡蛋、火腿、腌胡桃仁和干奶酪，在阴凉的客厅里喝啤酒，古老的挂钟暗地里滴滴答答地走，一只猫在壁炉边睡着。

84

-

Presently we drove on and in another hour were hungry. We stopped at an inn, which was half farm also, and ate eggs and bacon, pickled walnuts and cheese, and drank our beer in a sunless parlour where an old clock ticked. in the shadows and a cat slept by the empty grate.

85

-

又接着开车了，下午的早些时候我们到了目的地：两扇熟铁大门，乡间绿草地上两间古典的林间小屋，一条小路，路两旁绿树成荫，又是一扇扇大门，开阔的空地。才拐过弯，眼前突然出现一片崭新又隐秘的景象。我们在山谷的入口，看到下面半英里远的地方，绿树丛中闪现出一所老宅子的穹顶和立柱。

85

-

We drove on and in the early afternoon came to our destination: wrought-iron gates and Twin, classical lodges on a village green, an avenue, more gates, open park-land, a turn in the drive and suddenly a new and secret landscape opened before us. We were at the head of a valley and below us, half a mile distant, grey and gold amid a screen of boskage, shone the dome and columns of an old house.

86

-

“怎么样？”塞巴斯蒂安停下车来问。穹顶之后是一条逐渐隐去的河流，被一片缓坡的山丘卫护掩映。

86

-

‘Well?’ said Sebastian, stopping the car. Beyond the dome lay receding steps of water and round it, guarding and hiding it, stood the soft hills.?

87

-

“怎么样？”

87

-

‘Well?’

88

-

“真棒！”

88

-

‘What a place to live in!’ I said.

89

-

“你得看看房前的花园和喷泉。”他俯身向前发动了车子，挂好挡。“这是我家人住的地方。”尽管那时我全副精力都沉浸在如醉如痴的视觉感官里，可听到他所用的字眼时还是感到一股来路不祥的寒意——他用的不是“这是我的家”，而是“这是我家人住的地方”。

89

-

‘You must see the garden front and the fountain.’ He leaned forward and put the car into gear. ‘It’s where my family live’; and even then, rapt in the vision, I felt, momentarily, an ominous chill at the words he used - not, ‘that is my house’, but ‘it’s where my family live’.

90

-

“别担心，”他接着说，“他们全都不在，不用拜会了。”

90

-

‘Don’t worry,’ he continued, ‘they’re all away. You won’t have to meet them.’

91

-

“可是应该要见的。”

91

-

‘But I should like to.’

92

-

“呃，见不了了。他们在伦敦。”

92

-

‘Well, you can’t. They’re in London.’

93

-

我们绕过前院开进侧庭。“都锁上了。我们最好这边走。”车从仆人的住处过道开过去，那里像个堡垒一样，石板铺路，石头作顶。“我要带你去见见霍金斯保姆。我们来这儿就是为这个。”我们登上没铺地毯但擦得很干净的榆木楼梯，沿着中间铺了一条窄粗呢地毯的宽木板路，经过铺着油布的过道，走过有许多小楼梯和几排暗红和金黄色消防水桶的天井，走上最后一道楼梯，楼梯尽头是一扇门。

93

-

We drove round the front into a side court - ‘Everything’s shut up. We’d better go in this way’ - and entered through the fortress-like, stone-flagged, stone-vaulted passages of the servants’ quarters - ‘I want you to meet nanny Hawkins. That’s what we’ve come for’ - and climbed uncarpeted, scrubbed elm stairs, followed more passages of wide boards covered in the centre by a thin strip of drugget, through passages covered by linoleum, passing the wells of many minor staircases and many rows of crimson and gold fire buckets, up a final staircase, gated at the head.

94

-

房屋的圆顶是假的，从下往上看就像法国香波堡屋顶的钟楼。那圆顶不过是个外加楼层，隔出来许多房间。这些房间就是育婴室了。塞巴斯蒂安的保姆就坐在敞开的窗子旁，喷泉、湖泊、庙宇、远方，以及最后一个山丘上耀眼的尖塔……全部静静伏在她的身后。她双手摊开放在膝上，捏着一串松松垮垮的念珠。她睡熟了。年轻时长久劳作，中年时独当一面，晚年的悠闲和保障都在她那满是皱纹，平静且安详的脸上打下了烙印。

94

-

The dome was false, designed to be seen from below like the cupolas of Chambord. Its drum was merely an additional storey full of segmental rooms. Here were the nurseries.? Sebastian’s nanny was seated at the open window; the fountain lay before her, the lakes, the temple, and, far away on the last spur, a glittering obelisk; her hands lay open in her lap and loosely between them, a rosary; she was fast asleep. Long hours of work in her youth, authority in middle life, repose and security in her age, had set their stamp on her lined and serene face’.

95

-

“啊呀，”她醒了，“这真是惊喜啊。”

95

-

‘Well, ‘ she said, waking; ‘this is a surprise.’

96

-

塞巴斯蒂安亲吻她。

96

-

Sebastian kissed her.

97

-

“这位是？”她看着我说，“我想，我没见过他。”

97

-

‘Who’s this?’ she said, looking at me. ‘I don’ t think I know him.’

98

-

塞巴斯蒂安给我们介绍了一下。

98

-

Sebastian introduced us.

99

-

“你来得正是时候。茱丽娅正好在这里待一整天。他们不知道玩得多高兴呢。要是没有他们，只是钱德勒太太，她那两个女儿和老伯特，在这儿待着真能闷死个人。过后他们就都去度假了，八月份，烧锅炉的工人也得打发走，你要去意大利看老爷和在那儿度假的朋友们，得到十月我们才会又安定下来。我还是认为茱丽娅应该跟别的小姑娘一样高兴，只是我一直就闹不明白了，她们为什么总是在夏天最好的时候把花园撇下去伦敦。星期四菲普斯神父来过，我跟他说的也是这个话。”她末了添上这么一句，好像这样她的意见就得到了神权的加持。

99

-

‘You’ve come just the right time. Julia’s here for the day. Such a time they’re all having. It’s dull without them. Just Mrs Chandler and two of the girls and old Bert. And then they’re all going on holidays and the boiler’s being done out in August and you going to see his Lordship in Italy, and the rest on visits, it’ll be October before we’re settled down again. Still, I suppose Julia must have her enjoyment the same as other young ladies, though what they always want to go to London for in the best of the summer and the gardens all out, I never have understood. Father Phipps was here on Thursday and I said exactly the same to him,’ she added as though she had thus acquired sacerdotal authority for her opinion.

100

-

“你说茱丽娅在这里？”

100

-

‘D’you say Julia’s here?’

101

-

“是啊，亲爱的，你刚才一定没有看见她。都怪那些保守党女人，小姐得支应她们，可是她身体吃不消，茱丽娅又在家待不久，一说完话，抬脚就得走，连茶会都不去了。”

101

-

‘Yes, dear, you must have just missed her. It’s the Conservative Women. Her Ladyship was to have done them, but she’s poorly. Julia won’t be long; she’s leaving immediately after her speech, before the tea.’

102

-

“那恐怕我们又见不到她了。”

102

-

‘I’m afraid we may miss her again.’

103

-

“亲爱的，可别这么说，她看见你得是多么惊喜呀。不过我告诉她，她应该会等茶会结束的。保守党妇女就是为了喝茶才来的。好吧，来跟我说说有什么新鲜事吧？你读书用功了没有？”

103

-

‘Don’t do that, dear, it’ll be such a surprise to her seeing you, though she ought to wait for the tea, I told her, it’s what the Conservative Women come for. Now what’s the news? Are you studying hard at your books?’

104

-

“奶妈，恐怕不是很用功。”

104

-

‘Not very, I’m afraid, nanny,’

105

-

“哈，我猜你整天学你哥哥打板球了吧。可是人家还有时间读书。打圣诞节起，他就没有回过家。不过我想呢，他会回来看农业博览会的。你看到报纸上那篇关于茱丽娅的文章了没有？她带来给我看了。倒不是这篇文章把茱丽娅夸得太好，而是里头的话很好听哪。

105

-

‘Ah, cricketing all day long, I expect, like your brother. He found time to study, too, though. He’s not been here since Christmas, but he’ll be here for the Agricultural, I expect. Did you see this piece about Julia in the paper? She brought it down for me. Not that it’s nearly good enough of her, but what it says is very nice.

106

-

‘马奇梅因夫人的漂亮女儿在社交季由其母亲提携出道……优雅名媛，诙谐睿智……成为最受欢迎社交新秀。’可不么，这话一点儿不过分。可是，她把头发剪了，真是不应该啊，那头头发多好看啊，跟夫人一样一样的。我对菲普斯神父说这不符合自然，可他说什么‘修女们都这样’。我就说：‘可不是么神父，你当然不会让茱丽娅小姐做修女去吧？这个主意可不行！’”

106

-

“The lovely daughter whom Lady Marchmain is bringing out this season...witty as well as ornamental...the most popular débutante”, well that’s no more than the truth, though it was a shame to cut her hair; such a lovely head of hair she had, just like her Ladyship’s. I said to Father Phipps it’s not natural. He said: “Nuns do it,” and I said, “Well, surely, father, you aren’t going to make a nun out of Lady Julia? The very idea!”’

107

-

塞巴斯蒂安和老太太谈下去。这是个很迷人的房间，为了衬托穹顶，房间造得相当特别。墙上贴的是带条纹和玫瑰图案的壁纸。屋角有一个能前后摆动的木马，壁炉架上有一张酷似油画的圣心的石版画；空壁炉被一束南美大草原上的绿蒲苇和灯芯草遮住，衣柜擦得纤尘不污，顶上摆着孩子们在不同时期带回来给她的小礼物：贝雕和火山岩、印花皮革、彩色木制品、瓷器、从地底下挖出来的橡木、波纹银器、萤石、雪花石膏制品、珊瑚，还有许多度假纪念品。

107

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Sebastian and the old woman talked on. It was a charming room, oddly shaped to conform with the curve of the dome. The walls were papered in a pattern of ribbon and roses. There was a rocking horse in the corner and an oleograph of the Sacred Heart over the mantelpiece; the empty grate was hidden by a bunch of pampas grass and bulrushes; laid out on the top of the chest of drawers and carefully dusted, were the collection of small presents which had been brought home to her at various times by her children, carved shell and lava, stamped leather, painted wood, china, bog-oak, damascened silver, blue-john, alabaster, coral, the souvenirs of many holidays.?

108

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过了不久，保姆说：“亲爱的，摇铃吧，我们喝茶去。往常是下楼去跟钱德勒太太一道喝茶，可今天咱们让人把茶送到这里来。我平常用的那个姑娘也和别人去伦敦了。新来的这个才从乡下来。起先什么也不懂，可是后来还进步得不错呢。摇铃吧。”

108

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Presently nanny said: ‘Ring the bell, dear, and we’ll have some tea. I usually go down to Mrs Chandler, but we’ll have it up here today. My usual girl has gone to London with the others. The new one is just up from the village. She didn’t know anything at first, but she’s coming along nicely. Ring the bell.’

109

-

但是塞巴斯蒂安说我们得走了。

109

-

But Sebastian said we had to go.

110

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“不见茱丽娅小姐了吗？她知道一定会难受的。你回家本可以让她大大惊喜一番的。”

110

-

‘And miss Julia? She will be upset when she hears. It would have been such a surprise for her.’

111

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“可怜的奶妈，”塞巴斯蒂安在我们离开育婴室的时候说，“她的生活太沉闷了。我很想把她带到牛津和我一起生活，但又怕她老是叫我去做礼拜。趁着我妹妹还没回来我们赶紧走。”

111

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‘Poor nanny,’ said Sebastian when we left the nursery. ‘She does have such a dull life. I’ve a good mind to bring her to Oxford to live with me, only she’d always be trying to send me to church. We must go quickly before my sister gets back.’

112

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“你为谁害臊呢，我还是她？”

112

-

‘Which are you ashamed of, her or me?’

113

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“为我自己。”塞巴斯蒂安严肃地说，“我不愿意你和我的家人搅到一块儿。我们家的人漂亮得让人神魂颠倒，我整个一生中，家人总是从我身上拿走些什么。一旦他们用魅力逮住你了，就会把你变成他们的朋友，而不再是我的朋友了，我不能允许他们这么做。”

113

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‘I’m ashamed of myself,’ said Sebastian gravely. ‘I’m not going to have you get mixed up with my family. They’re so madly charming. All my life they’ve been taking things away from me. If they once got hold of you with their charm, they’d make you their friend not mine, and I won’t let them.’

114

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“好吧，”我说，“我很满意你的说法。可是——难道你不允许我再多看几个地方吗？”

114

-

‘All right,’ I said. ‘I’m perfectly content. But am I not going to be allowed to see any more of the house?’

115

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“都关起来了呀。我们是来看我保姆的。亚历山大王后生辰日到处开放，花一先令就可以参观。好吧，你想看就看吧……”

115

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‘It’s all shut up. We came to see nanny. On Queen Alexandra’s day it’s all open for a shilling. Well, come and look if you want to...’

116

-

他领我穿过一道厚粗呢门，走进一条漆黑的走廊；我只能勉强看见头顶上的镀金檐板和圆拱形的灰泥。然后，打开一扇笨重但开关灵巧的桃花心木门，他领我走进一个暗沉沉的大厅。

116

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He led me through a baize door into a dark corridor; I could dimly see a gilt-cornice and vaulted plaster above; then, opening a heavy, smooth-swinging, mahogany door, he led me into a darkened hall.

117

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光线从百叶窗的缝隙间钻进来。塞巴斯蒂安打开一扇百叶窗，把窗扇折起来。柔和金黄的午后阳光倾泻进来，铺了一地，照耀在大理石壁炉上，照耀在画着古代神祇和英雄壮士的拱形天花板上，照耀在镀金的镜子和云石壁柱上，照耀在苫布遮起来的一堆堆小岛般的家具上。倏忽一瞥之下，好像从包厢顶层瞥见一个灯火通明的舞蹈厅一闪而过，塞巴斯蒂安很快关上了窗户，关上了那阳光。“你看么，”他说，“就是这个样子。”

117

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Light streamed through the cracks in the shutters. Sebastian unbarred one, and folded it back; the mellow afternoon sun flooded in, over the bare floor, the vast, twin fireplaces of sculptured marble, the coved ceiling frescoed with classic deities and heroes, the gilt mirrors and scagliola pilasters, the islands of sheeted furniture. It was a glimpse only, such as might be had from the top of an omnibus into a lighted ballroom; then Sebastian quickly shut out the sun. ‘You see,’ he said; ‘it’s like this.’

118

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从我们在榆树下喝葡萄酒，从车子在车道上拐了弯，他说了声“怎么样”起——这以后，他的情绪明显变了。“你看，也没有什么好看的。我倒希望有一天给你看些好看的东西，不过不是现在。可是有个小礼拜堂你得去看看，那可是新艺术派的丰碑。”

118

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His mood had changed since we had drunk our wine under the elm trees, since we had turned the comer of the drive and he had said: ‘Well?’ ‘You see, there’s nothing to see. A few pretty things I’d like to show, you one day - not now. But there’s the chapel. You must see that. It’s a monument of art nouveau.’

119

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在布莱兹赫德工作的最后一位建筑师给这里添了个廊柱，在一边加了几间阁式厢房。其中一间就是小礼拜堂。我们从一扇公共门廊走进小教堂（另一扇门直通内里）。塞巴斯蒂安把手指在圣水盘里蘸了一下，画个十字，然后双膝跪地，我也照着他的样子做了。“你为什么要这样做？”他很不爽地问我。

119

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The last architect to work at Brideshead had added a colonnade and flanking pavilions. One of these was the chapel. We entered it by the public porch (another door led direct to the house); Sebastian dipped his fingers in the water stoup, crossed himself, and genuflected; I copied him. ‘Why do you do that?’ he asked crossly.?

120

-

“出于礼貌呀。”

120

-

‘Just good manners.’

121

-

“啊，你不必为了我做这个。你想观光不是么，看这儿怎么样？”

121

-

‘Well, you needn’t on my account. You wanted to do sight-seeing; how about this?’

122

-

整个内部拆过卸过，然后又精心打理过。在十九世纪最后十年，用工美的设计和形式重新陈设和装裱起来。穿着印花罩衫的天使、蔷薇、花团锦簇的草坪、摇摆奔走的羊羔、凯尔特字体写就的祝祷文、身披甲胄的圣人……均以颜色鲜明的复杂图案布满墙上。有一个浅灰色的白橡木雕刻，像是才从一个黏土模子中翻刻出来一样。圣灯和全部金属器物都是铜铸的，这些物件的外面是用手工敲打出的细密小点。圣坛的台阶上铺着草绿色地毯，上面绣着白色和金色的雏菊。

122

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The whole interior had been gutted, elaborately refurnished and redecorated in the arts-and-crafts style of the last decade of the nineteenth century. Angels in printed cotton smocks, rambler-roses, flower-spangled meadows, frisking lambs, texts in Celtic script, saints in armour, covered the walls in an intricate pattern of clear, bright colours.? There was a triptych of pale oak, carved so as to give it the peculiar property of seeming to have been moulded in Plasticine. The sanctuary lamp and all the metal furniture were of bronze, hand-beaten to the patina of a pock-marked skin; the altar steps had a carpet of grass-green, strewn with white and gold daisies.

123

-

“哎呀。”我惊叫了一声。

123

-

‘Golly,’ I said.

124

-

“这是爸爸送给妈妈的结婚礼物。好，你看够了咱们就走。”

124

-

‘It was papa’s wedding present to mama. Now, if you’ve seen enough, we’ll go.’

125

-

在汽车道上我们碰到一辆有司机的劳斯莱斯，后面好像有个女孩子的轮廓，正扭过头从车窗里望着我们。

125

-

On the drive we passed a closed Rolls-Royce driven by a chauffeur; in the back was a vague, girlish figure who looked round at us through the window.?

126

-

“这是茱丽娅，”塞巴斯蒂安说，“我们走得正是时候。”

126

-

‘Julia,’ said Sebastian. ‘We only just got away in time.’

127

-

我们停下来和一个骑自行车的人说话——“那是老伯特。”塞巴斯蒂安过后告诉我——接着我们又开车走了，通过熟铁大门、仆人住房，开到直奔牛津的大路上。

127

-

We stopped to speak to a man with a bicycle - ‘That was old Bat,’ said Sebastian - and then were away, past the wrought iron,gates, past the lodges, and out on the road heading back to Oxford.

128

-

“很抱歉，”过了一会儿塞巴斯蒂安对我说，“今天下午我的脾气不大好。布莱兹赫德这个地方总是让我不痛快。可是我又必须带你去看保姆。”

128

-

‘I’m sorry said Sebastian after a time. ‘I’m afraid I wasn’t very nice this afternoon.Brideshead often has that effect on me. But I had to take you to see nanny.’

129

-

这是为什么？虽觉惊奇，但我什么也没说——塞巴斯蒂安的生活总是按照某种操控模式进行的：“我必须买件宽大的邮箱红睡衣！”“我必须睡到日上三竿才起！”“今天晚上，我绝对必须一定要喝香槟！”除非他认为“喝香槟对我有反作用”，那么这句话他才不用祈使句。

129

-

Why? I wondered; but said nothing - Sebastian’s life was governed by a code of such imperatives. ‘I must have pillar-box red pyjamas,’ ‘I have to stay in bed until the sun works round to the windows,’ ‘I’ve absolutely got to drink champagne tonight!’ - except, ‘It had quite the reverse effect on me.’

130

-

沉默许久，他才赌气一般地说：“我可没有一直打听你家里的事。”

130

-

After a long pause he said petulantly, ‘I don’t keep asking you questions about your family.’

131

-

“我也没打听你的啊。”

131

-

‘Neither do I about yours.’

132

-

“可是你看起来就像是要刨根问底似的。”

132

-

‘But you look inquisitive.’

133

-

“嗯，那是因为你对家里的事讳莫如深。”

133

-

‘Well, you’re so mysterious about them.’

134

-

“我期待每样事情我都能秘而不宣。”

134

-

‘I hoped I was mysterious about ‘everything.’

135

-

“可能我是对别人的家事比较好奇吧……你知道，这是我全然不懂的事情。家里只有我和我父亲两个。姑妈照顾了我一段时期，可我父亲又把她赶到国外去了。我母亲在大战中牺牲了。”

135

-

‘Perhaps I am rather curious about people’s families - you see, it’s not a thing I know about. There is only my father and myself. An aunt kept an eye on me for a time but my father drove her abroad. My mother was killed in the war.’

136

-

“哦……真没想到。”

136

-

‘Oh...how very unusual.’

137

-

“她跟红十字会去了塞尔维亚。从那以后，我父亲的头脑就出了问题，变得古怪了。他一个人住在伦敦，也没朋友，一脑袋扎进了收集古玩这种蠢事里。”

137

-

‘She went to Serbia with the Red Cross. My father has been rather odd in the head ever since. He just lives alone in London with no friends and footles about collecting things.’

138

-

塞巴斯蒂安说：“你都不知道你省了多少事。我们家人口多，可以查《德布列特贵族年鉴》名录的。”

138

-

Sebastian said, ‘You don’t know what you’ve been saved. There are lots of us. Look them up in Debrett.’

139

-

塞巴斯蒂安现在心情变得轻松了。我们的车离开布莱兹赫德越远，他的不安和别扭也丢得越远了——那是一种一直纠缠着他的隐秘的心神不定和烦恼。我们开着车，太阳追在身后，这样一来，我们好像在追赶自己的影子。

139

-

His mood was lightening, now. The further we drove from Brideshead, the more he seemed to cast off his uneasiness - the almost furtive restlessness and irritability that had possessed him. The sun was behind us as we drove, so that we seemed to be in pursuit of our own shadows.

140

-

“现在是五点半。我们还来得及到高得斯托吃晚饭，在‘鳟鱼’酒吧喝酒，把哈德卡斯尔的车留下，沿着河边散步回去。这再好不过了吧？”

140

-

‘It’s half past five. We’ll get to Godstow in time for dinner, drink at the Trout, leave Hardcastle’s motor-car, and walk back by the river. Wouldn’t that be best?’

141

-

这就是我第一次拜访布莱兹赫德的情形，那时我怎能想到，有一天，一个人到中年的步兵上尉会含着眼泪回忆起这旧地来呢？

141

-

That is the full account of my first brief visit to Brideshead; could I have known then that it, would one day be remembered with tears by a middle-aged captain of infantry?

第一章 我遇见塞巴斯蒂安·弗莱特——还遇见安东尼·布兰奇——初访布莱兹赫德|Chapter 1