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记忆传授人|The Giver

第10章|Chapter 10

属类： 双语小说 【分类】魔幻小说 阅读：[9911]
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“我从这里进去，乔纳思。”他们把自行车停在画好停车位的区域，走到养老院门口时，费欧娜说。

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“不知道为什么，我竟然觉得紧张。”她说，“我以前常到这里啊。”她把玩着手上的资料夹。

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“嗯，现在不一样了。”乔纳思提醒她。

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“连自行车上的名牌都不一样。”费欧娜笑了起来。维护人员趁着半夜，帮每位十二岁的孩子换上新名牌，上头标示着：受训中的居民。

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“我不想迟到。”她一边迈上台阶，一边迟疑地说，“如果我们同时结束，我就和你一起骑车回家。”

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乔纳思点点头，挥挥手，便绕过建筑物，朝安尼斯走去，那是一栋附在建筑物背后的小侧楼。他也跟她一样，不想在受训的第一天就迟到。

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安尼斯的外观毫不起眼，门口也很寻常。他握住厚重的门把手，这才注意到墙上有个蜂音器，于是他改为按铃。

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“什么事？”声音从蜂音器上方小小的扩音器传出来。

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“我是，嗯，乔纳思。我是新的……我是说……”

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“请进！”“咔嚓”一声，门开了。

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接待室很小，只有一张桌子，一位女接待员正忙着处理文件，抬头看到他进来，竟然站了起来。这个举动着实令他大吃一惊。以前从没有人因为他的出现而主动起立致意。

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“欢迎，记忆传承人。”她很恭敬地说。

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“哦，”他很不自在地回答，“叫我乔纳思就好了。”

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她微微一笑，按下一个钮，他听见她左边的门“咔嚓”

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一声开了。“您可以进去了。”她告诉他。

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她好像注意到他的不自在，也了解他不自在的原因。因为社区里的门都不上锁；至少乔纳思知道的门就都不上锁。

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“上锁是为了维护记忆传承人的隐私，因为他需要全神贯注。”她解释着，“以防万一有居民闲逛到这边来找自行车修理部之类的。”

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乔纳思笑了笑，稍微松了一口气。这位女士看起来很友善，事实上也的确很友善。社区里流传这样的笑话：自行车维修部门是个不太重要的小单位，经常搬家，大家常常搞不清楚它到底在哪里。

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“这里一点也不危险。”她告诉他。

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“但是，”她对墙上的时钟瞥了一眼，“它不喜欢等人喔。”

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乔纳思赶紧打开门，发现自己来到一间装潢典雅、舒适的起居室，就跟他自己家里的形式很像。社区里每户人家的家具都是规格化的：实用、结实，每个物件都有特定的功能——张睡觉的床，一张吃饭用的桌子，一张念书用的书桌。

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在这间宽敞的房间里，该有的家具样样不缺，只不过每件家具都跟他家里的略有不同：椅子和沙发的坐垫比较厚也比较豪华；桌脚不像家里的那么直挺挺的，而是较为纤细、略有弧度，并且雕饰了小花纹：床铺位于房间另一端的凹室，上头罩着一条华丽的床单，上面绣满精细的图案。

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最显著的不同是书。在他家里，只有家家必备的几套书：

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一本字典，以及厚厚的社区说明手册，详列每间办公室、工厂、建筑物和委员会的介绍。当然，还有社区的法则大全。

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家里那些书是乔纳思唯一看过的书，他从不知道还有其他的书。

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这个房间的墙壁却完全被书架覆盖，从墙脚到天花板，满满的都是。这里一定有几百本、甚至几千本的书，每本书的书名都用闪亮的印刷字体装饰得光亮耀眼。

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乔纳思注视着这些书，他想象不出内容会是什么？是超越管理社区的其他法则吗？是对办公室、工厂和委员会更多的描述吗？

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他只敢花一秒钟的时间张望，因为桌子旁边的椅子上，坐着一个人，正打量着他。

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他迟疑地往前移动，站在这位先生前面，略微鞠个躬，然后说：“我是乔纳思。”

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“我知道，欢迎，记忆传承人。”

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乔纳思认得他。在典礼中，他虽然也身着长老服饰，却与其他长老大不相同。

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乔纳思怯生生地望着那双灰色眼珠中自己的影像。

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“先生，很抱歉，我不太了解您的意思……”

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他等着，但是老人并未说出标准响应语——我接受你的道歉。

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过了一会儿，乔纳思继续说：“但是我认为……我是说我想，”他更正自己的用语，一边提醒自己：精准的语言很重要，在这位先生面前更要谨慎。“您才是记忆传承人，我只是，嗯，我刚被指定，我是说，昨天才被选上的。我还不是记忆传承人。”

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老人若有所思地望着他，眼神中有感兴趣、好奇、关心、或许还带有一点同情的意味。

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最后他终于说话了，“至少在我认为，从今天这一刻开始，你就是记忆传承人。我担任记忆传承人这份工作已经很久了，这是一段漫长的岁月，你也看得出来，不是吗？”

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乔纳思点点头。老人满脸皱纹，眼睛虽然闪现犀利的光芒，却掩不住疲惫，眼周围镶着黑眼圈。

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“我看得出来，您年纪很大了。”乔纳思尊敬地说。大家对长老总是推崇备至。

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老人微微一笑，摸摸自己脸上松垮的肌肉：“事实上，我没有外表看起来那么老。”他告诉乔纳思，“这份工作让我加速老化。我知道我看起来好像很快就会被解放，但是事实上，我还有好长一段人生要走哩。

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不过，当你被选上时，我非常高兴。他们花了很长时间来进行这一次遴选。距离上一次的遴选失败已经十年了，我的能量正逐渐耗弱，我必须保留气力来训练你。未来的工作很艰辛、痛苦，而且只有你跟我。”

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“请坐下。”他指了指身边。

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乔纳思坐到柔软的加垫的座位上。

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老人闭上眼睛，继续说：“当我十二岁时，跟你一样被分派了这一职务。当时我很害怕，我相信你现在也一样。”他张开眼睛，盯着乔纳思，乔纳思点点头。

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那双眼睛再度闭上：“我来到这个房间，开始接受训练，那已经是好遥远以前的事了。我觉得当时的记忆传承人好老，就跟你现在对我的感觉一样，他也跟我现在一样疲惫不堪。”

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他突然坐直了身子，又张开眼睛：“你可以随便发问。

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因为平常禁止谈论，所以我不擅长描述这些过程。”

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“我了解，先生，我看过指导说明了。”乔纳思说。

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“那我就不再详细叙述了。”老人低声轻笑，“我的工作很重要，地位崇高，但这并不代表我是完美的，要不然上次训练接班人就不会失败了。请尽量发问，好帮助你进人状态。”

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乔纳思的内心有成千上万个疑问，就跟墙壁上的书籍一样多，但他一个也提不出来。

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老人叹了一口气，好像要先整理一下思绪，接着才又开口： “训练过程很复杂，不过我先简单说好了，我的工作就是要把我所有的记忆都转移给你，所有过去的记忆。”

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“先生，”乔纳思迟疑地说，“我很乐意聆听您一生的故事和您的记忆。”赶紧又补充说：“很抱歉，我插嘴了。”

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老人不耐烦地摇摇手，“在这里用不着说抱歉，我们没有时间了。”

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“是的，”乔纳思继续说，很不自在地发现自己又插嘴了，“我真的很感兴趣，我只是不明白这件事有这么重要吗？我可以在社区里工作，再利用休闲时间来拜访您，听您诉说您的童年啊。我很喜欢这样，事实上，我在养老院做义工时就这么做了，那些老人都很喜欢说自己的童年，听起来非常有趣。”

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老人摇摇头：“不，不是这样。”他说，“我说得不够清楚。我要传输给你的不是我自己的过去，不是我的童年。”

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他往后靠，将头枕在有软垫的椅背上：“我要给你的是整个世界的记忆。”他叹了一口气，“在你之前，在我之前，在上一任记忆传承人之前，在他好几代之前的所有记忆。”

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乔纳思的眉头皱了起来：“整个世界？”他问，“我不懂，您是说这个世界上不是只有我们？不是只有这个社区？您是说还包括其他的地区？”他试着在内心捕捉这样的概念，“很抱歉，先生，我还是不明白。也许我不够聪明，您说的‘全世界’跟‘在他好几代之前’，是指什么？我以为这个世界只有我们，我以为只有现在。”

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“还有很多很多远远超出这个范围的其他地方，超出现在，再往前推、往前推、一直往前推更多的记忆。在我被选上之后，我接收了所有的记忆。在这个房间，我一个人一遍又一遍地重复经历那些过往事件，这就是智能的来源，也是我们塑造未来的依据。”

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他停了停，深深地吸了一口气：“这担子好重。”

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乔纳思不由得对老人产生了深切的同情。

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“就好像……”老人沉吟了一下，好像正在寻找最恰当的字眼来描述，“就好像驾着雪橇在大雪中下坡一样，”最后他终于说：“起初因为速度加上冷峻清新的空气，让人觉得刺激兴奋，但是雪越下越大，不断堆积，覆盖在滑板上，慢慢的，你越来越难前进，而且……”

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他突然摇摇头，瞧了乔纳思一眼：“你对这些毫无概念,对不对？”

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乔纳思一脸困惑：“先生，我完全不懂。”

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“你当然不懂。你不知道什么是雪，对不对？”

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乔纳思摇摇头。

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“雪橇？滑板？”

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“不知道，先生。”乔纳思说。

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“下坡？这些名词你都不知道？”

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“都不知道，先生。”

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“那么，就从这里开始好了。我还在想该从哪里开始比较恰当呢。到床上来，把上衣脱掉，脸朝下肌着。”

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乔纳思不安地照做。他可以感觉到赤裸的胸膛紧贴着柔软、华丽的床单。老人站起来，走到墙边的扩音器旁。社区里的每户人家都装有这种扩音器，只不过这个房间的扩音器竟然多了一个“开关”，老人灵巧地一扳，啪的一声，开关就“关”上了。

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乔纳思差点儿停止呼吸，老人竟然有“关掉”扩音器的权力！他这一惊非同小可。

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接着老人飞快地走到床边，坐在乔纳思身旁的椅子上。

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乔纳思一动也不动，等着即将发生的事。

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“闭上眼睛，放松，不会痛的。”

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乔纳思想起自己可以多发问：“先生，请问您要做什么？”他希望自己的声音没有泄露内心的紧张。

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“我要将雪的记忆传送给你。”老人说完，就将双手放在乔纳思赤裸的背上。

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"I go in here, Jonas," Fiona told him when they reached the front door of the House of the Old after parking their bicycles in the designated area.

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"I don’t know why I’m nervous," she confessed. "I’ve been here so often before." She turned her folder over in her hands.

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"Well, everything’s different now," Jonas reminded her.

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"Even the nameplates on our bikes," Fiona laughed. During the night the nameplate of each new Twelve had been removed by the Maintenance Crew and replaced with the style that indicated citizen-in-training.

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"I don’t want to be late," she said hastily, and started up the steps. "If we finish at the same time, I’ll ride home with you."

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Jonas nodded, waved to her, and headed around the building toward the Annex , a small wing attached to the back. He certainly didn’t want to be late for his first day of training, either.

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The Annex was very ordinary, its door unremarkable. He reached for the heavy handle, then noticed a buzzer on the wall. So he buzzed instead.

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"Yes?" The voice came through a small speaker above the buzzer.

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"It’s, uh, Jonas. I’m the new — I mean — "

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"Come in." A click indicated that the door had been unlatched.

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The lobby was very small and contained only a desk at which a female Attendant sat working on some papers. She looked up when he entered; then, to his surprise, she stood. It was a small thing, the standing ; but no one had ever stood automatically to acknowledge Jonas’s presence before.

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"Welcome, Receiver of Memory," she said respectfully.

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"Oh, please," he replied uncomfortably. "Call me Jonas."

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She smiled, pushed a button, and he heard a click that unlocked the door to her left. "You may go right on in," she told him.

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Then she seemed to notice his discomfort and to realize its origin. No doors in the community were locked, ever. None that Jonas knew of, anyway.

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"The locks are simply to insure The Receiver’s privacy because he needs concentration," she explained. "It would be difficult if citizens wandered in, looking for the Department of Bicycle Repair, or something."

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Jonas laughed, relaxing a little. The woman seemed very friendly, and it was true — in fact it was a joke throughout the community — that the Department of Bicycle Repair, an unimportant little office, was relocated so often that no one ever knew where it was.

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"There is nothing dangerous here," she told him.

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"But," she added, glancing at the wall clock, "he doesn’t like to be kept waiting."

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Jonas hurried through the door and found himself in a comfortably furnished living area. It was not unlike his own family unit’s dwelling . Furniture was standard throughout the community: practical, sturdy, the function of each piece clearly defined. A bed for sleeping. A table for eating. A desk for studying.

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All of those things were in this spacious room, though each was slightly different from those in his own dwelling. The fabrics on the upholstered chairs and sofa were slightly thicker and more luxurious ; the table legs were not straight like those at home, but slender and curved, with a small carved decoration at the foot. The bed, in an alcove at the far end of the room, was draped with a splendid cloth embroidered over its entire surface with intricate designs.

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But the most conspicuous difference was the books. In his own dwelling, there were the necessary reference volumes that each household contained: a dictionary, and the thick community volume which contained descriptions of every office, factory, building, and committee. And the Book of Rules, of course.

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The books in his own dwelling were the only books that Jonas had ever seen. He had never known that other books existed.

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But this room’s walls were completely covered by bookcases, filled, which reached to the ceiling. There must have been hundreds — perhaps thousands — of books, their titles embossed in shiny letters.

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Jonas stared at them. He couldn’t imagine what the thousands of pages contained. Could there be rules beyond the rules that governed the community? Could there be more descriptions of offices and factories and committees?

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He had only a second to look around because he was aware that the man sitting in a chair beside the table was watching him. Hastily he moved forward, stood before the man, bowed slightly, and said, "I’m Jonas."

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"I know. Welcome, Receiver of Memory."

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Jonas recognized the man. He was the Elder who had seemed separate from the others at the Ceremony, though he was dressed in the same special clothing that only Elders wore.

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Jonas looked self-consciously into the pale eyes that mirrored his own.

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"Sir, I apologize for my lack of understanding..."

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He waited, but the man did not give the standard accepting-of-apology response.

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After a moment, Jonas went on, "But I thought — I mean I think," he corrected, reminding himself that if precision of language were ever to be important, it was certainly important now, in the presence of this man, "that you are the Receiver of Memory. I’m only, well, I was only assigned, I mean selected, yesterday. I’m not anything at all. Not yet."

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The man looked at him thoughtfully, silently. It was a look that combined interest, curiosity, concern, and perhaps a little sympathy as well.

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Finally he spoke . "Beginning today, this moment, at least to me, you are the Receiver.

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"I have been the Receiver for a long time. A very, very long time. You can see that, can’t you?"

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Jonas nodded. The man was wrinkled, and his eyes, though piercing in their unusual lightness, seemed tired.

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The flesh around them was darkened into shadowed circles.

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"I can see that you are very old," Jonas responded with respect. The Old were always given the highest respect.

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The man smiled. He touched the sagging flesh on his own face with amusement. "I am not, actually, as old as I look," he told Jonas. "This job has aged me. I know I look as if I should be scheduled for release very soon. But actually I have a good deal of time left.

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"I was pleased, though, when you were selected. It took them a long time. The failure of the previous selection was ten years ago, and my energy is starting to diminish. I need what strength I have remaining for your training. We have hard and painful work to do, you and I.

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"Please sit down," he said, and gestured toward the nearby chair. Jonas lowered himself onto the soft cushioned seat.

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The man closed his eyes and continued speaking. "When I became a Twelve, I was selected, as you were. I was frightened, as I’m sure you are." He opened his eyes for a moment and peered at Jonas, who nodded.

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The eyes closed again. "I came to this very room to begin my training. It was such a long time ago.

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"The previous Receiver seemed just as old to me as I do to you. He was just as tired as I am today."

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He sat forward suddenly, opened his eyes, and said, "You may ask questions. I have so little experience in describing this process. It is forbidden to talk of it."

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"I know, sir. I have read the instructions," Jonas said.

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"So I may neglect to make things as clear as I should." The man chuckled . "My job is important and has enormous honor. But that does not mean I am perfect, and when I tried before to train a successor, I failed. Please ask any questions that will help you."

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In his mind, Jonas had questions. A thousand. A million questions. As many questions as there were books lining the walls. But he did not ask one, not yet.

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The man sighed, seeming to put his thoughts in order. Then he spoke again. "Simply stated," he said, "although it’s not really simple at all, my job is to transmit to you all the memories I have within me. Memories of the past."

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"Sir," Jonas said tentatively, "I would be very interested to hear the story of your life, and to listen to your memories.

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"I apologize for interrupting," he added quickly.

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The man waved his hand impatiently. "No apologies in this room. We haven’t time."

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"Well," Jonas went on, uncomfortably aware that he might be interrupting again, "I am really interested, I don’t mean that I’m not. But I don’t exactly understand why it’s so important. I could do some adult job in the community, and in my recreation time I could come and listen to the stories from your childhood. I’d like that. Actually," he added, "I’ve done that already, in the House of the Old. The Old like to tell about their childhoods, and it’s always fun to listen."

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The man shook his head. "No, no," he said. "I’m not being clear. It’s not my past, not my childhood that I must transmit to you."

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He leaned back, resting his head against the back of the upholstered chair. "It’s the memories of the whole world," he said with a sigh. "Before you, before me, before the previous Receiver, and generations before him."

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Jonas frowned. "The whole world?" he asked. "I don’t understand. Do you mean not just us? Not just the community? Do you mean Elsewhere, too?" He tried, in his mind, to grasp the concept. "I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand exactly. Maybe I’m not smart enough. I don’t know what you mean when you say ’the whole world’ or ’generations before him." I thought there was only us. I thought there was only now."

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"There’s much more. There’s all that goes beyond — all that is Elsewhere — and all that goes back, and back, and back. I received all of those, when I was selected. And here in this room, all alone, I re-experience them again and again. It is how wisdom comes. And how we shape our future."

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He rested for a moment, breathing deeply. "I am so weighted with them," he said.

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Jonas felt a terrible concern for the man, suddenly.

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"It’s as if..." The man paused, seeming to search his mind for the right words of description. "It’s like going downhill through deep snow on a sled," he said, finally. "At first it’s exhilarating: the speed; the sharp, clear air; but then the snow accumulates, builds up on the runners, and you slow, you have to push hard to keep going, and — "

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He shook his head suddenly, and peered at Jonas. "That meant nothing to you, did it?" he asked.

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Jonas was confused. "I didn’t understand it, sir."

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"Of course you didn’t. You don’t know what snow is, do you?"

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Jonas shook his head.

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"Or a sled? Runners?"

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"No, sir," Jonas said.

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"Downhill? The term means nothing to you?"

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"Nothing, sir."

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"Well, it’s a place to start. I’d been wondering how to begin. Move to the bed, and lie face down. Remove your tunic first."

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Jonas did so, a little apprehensively . Beneath his bare chest, he felt the soft folds of the magnificent cloth that covered the bed. He watched as the man rose and moved first to the wall where the speaker was. It was the same sort of speaker that occupied a place in every dwelling, but one thing about it was different. This one had a switch, which the man deftly snapped to the end that said OFF.

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Jonas almost gasped aloud. To have the power to turn the speaker off? It was an astonishing thing.

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Then the man moved with surprising quickness to the corner where the bed was. He sat on a chair beside Jonas, who was motionless, waiting for what would happen next.

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"Close your eyes. Relax. This will not be painful."

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Jonas remembered that he was allowed, that he had even been encouraged, to ask questions. "What are you going to do, sir?" he asked, hoping that his voice didn’t betray his nervousness.

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"I am going to transmit the memory of snow," the old man said, and placed his hands on Jonas’s bare back.

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