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记忆传授人|The Giver

第二十二章 亲身体验|Chapter 22

属类: 双语小说 【分类】魔幻小说 阅读:[9907]
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景观渐渐变了,刚开始很细微,并不容易察觉,只觉得道路窄了,也更崎岖了,很久没有人维修的样子。接下来,骑在自行车上也不容易平衡了,前轮老是辗过一些石子和坑洞。

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有一天晚上,乔纳思撞上石头,跌了下来。他赶紧伸手护住加波,幸好小宝宝牢牢地绑在座椅上,没有受伤,只不过在自行车倒地的时候吓了一跳。但是乔纳思的手腕扭到了,膝盖擦伤了,鲜血从他擦破的裤管滴了下来。他痛苦地直起身子,扶起自行车,并仔细检査加波的身体。

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他逐渐淡忘了对侦察机队的恐惧,开始在白天上路,但是新的恐惧又出现了,因为不熟悉的景致,隐藏着他难以理解的危险。

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树木越来越多,道路边的森林漆黑、浓密又神秘。溪流不时出现,他们也经常停下来喝水。乔纳思小心地洗着受伤的膝盖,碰到擦伤的皮肉时,忍不住缩了一下。原本肿大、疼痛的膝盖,在冷冽的山涧溪流浸泡下,终于慢慢地消肿、不痛了。

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他重新体认到,加波的安全全靠他的毅力。

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有一天,他们看见从没见过的瀑布,也看见从没见过的野生动物。

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“飞机!飞机!”加波大叫。乔纳思虽然已经好几天没有看见飞机,耳边也没听见飞机引擎的声音,他还是不加思索地冲进树林,将自行车停在灌木丛里,然后伸手捉住加波。加波胖胖的小手指向天空。

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他惊恐地抬起头来。还好,不是飞机。他从没亲眼见过这样的生物,但透过他那日益消退的记忆,他认出那是经常出现在传授人记忆库中的动物——鸟。

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很快,路边出现了很多飞上飞下、啁啾鸣叫的鸟。他们也看到鹿。有一次,看见一只有着红棕色皮毛、一条粗尾巴的小动物,站在路边好奇地看着他们,一点也不害怕。乔纳思不知道叫什么,就放慢自行车的速度。他们彼此好奇地张望着,直到那只小动物转身,跑进森林里不见了踪影。

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所有的事物是如此新奇,让他内心充满敬畏。过去的生活单纯到每桩事都可以预期,现在竟然是每转个弯都会遇见令他惊奇的事物。他一次又一次地放慢自行车的速度,充满欣喜地看着路边的野花,欣赏着身旁小鸟婉转的歌唱,或风儿吹动林间树叶的姿态。在社区生活的十三年间,他从未经历过这般生动的幸福与快乐。

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但是,他的内心也同时隐藏着绝望的恐惧。最大的恐惧是他们可能挨饿。现在他们远离耕作区,已经不太可能找到食物了。他们上次在最后一个耕种区收集来的马铃薯和胡萝卜,存量不多,吃完以后,就什么都没有了。最近,他们经常饿着肚子。

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乔纳思跪在溪边,想用手去抓鱼,但徒劳无功。于是改用石块砸,结果还是无效。他失望极了,但依然绞尽脑汁,利用加波毯子上的绳子,缠住一根根弯弯的枯枝,做出一张代用鱼网。

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经过无数次的尝试,这张鱼网竟然捕到两条滑溜溜的小银鱼。乔纳思找了一块尖锐的石头,把鱼切成小段,一些喂加波,自己也吃一些。他们还吃了一些莓子。本来还想捉一只鸟,但是没有成功。

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到了晚上,加波安稳地睡在他身边,乔纳思却睡不着,饥饿折磨着他,让他想起以前在社区时,每天每户人家都可以收到餐点。

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他试着运用逐渐模糊的记忆,自己创造出一份大餐,还加上短暂的扑鼻香味:陈列着大块烤肉的宴会;摆满了厚厚奶油蛋糕的庆生会,结实累累的水果迎着阳光垂挂在枝头。

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但是当记忆退去的那一刻,痛苦、噬咬心田的空洞立即漫上他的心头。乔纳思突然闪过小时候的记忆,他曾经因为用错一个“饿死了”的词,而被严厉地责骂。大家告诉他,你绝不可能饿死。

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现在他就快要饿死了。如果他仍留在社区里就不会有这样的遭遇。事情就是这么简单,他曾希望可以选择,但真正面临选择的机会时,他却选错了。他选择离开,所以现在要挨饿。

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如果他留下来……

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他继续思考,如果他留下来,他会在其他方面挨饿,也会因为生活中缺乏感觉、色彩和爱而处于精神上的饥饿状态。

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加波呢?加波如果还留在那儿,根本连命都没了。所以那里不是选择留下的地方。

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吃不饱,让乔纳思骑起自行车来,犹如在打一场硬仗。

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他同时体认到他正在翻越长久以来梦寐以求的事物:山丘。

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他奋力地蹬着自行车,受伤的膝盖传来阵阵抽痛,但他还是拼命向前。

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气候也跟着变了,一连下了两天的雨。乔纳思不曾看过雨,虽然他在记忆中经历过,也很喜欢雨,很享受那冰凉的感受。但现在可不同了,他和加波又冷又湿,衣服一直干不了,就连偶尔露个脸的太阳也无济于事。

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在这段漫长、可怕的旅程中,加波都没有哭,直到这一刻,饥寒交迫,身子虚弱,他才哭了出来。乔纳思也哭了,除了和加波相同的理由外,他流泪是因为害怕自己救不了加波!他已经不在乎自己了。

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Now the landscape was changing. It was a subtle change, hard to identify at first. The road was narrower, and bumpy , apparently no longer tended by road crews. It was harder, suddenly, to balance on the bike, as the front wheel wobbled over stones and ruts.

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One night Jonas fell, when the bike jolted to a sudden stop against a rock. He grabbed instinctively for Gabriel; and the new child strapped tightly in his seat, was uninjured, only frightened when the bike fell to its side. But Jonas’s ankle was twisted, and his knees were scraped and raw, blood seeping through his torn trousers. Painfully he righted himself and the bike, and reassured Gabe.

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Tentatively he began to ride in daylight. He had forgotten the fear of the searchers, who seemed to have diminished into the past. But now there were new fears; the unfamiliar landscape held hidden, unknown perils .

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Trees became more numerous, and the forests beside the road were dark and thick with mystery. They saw streams more frequently now and stopped often to drink. Jonas carefully washed his injured knees, wincing as he rubbed at the raw flesh. The constant ache of his swollen ankle was eased when he soaked it occasionally in the cold water that rushed through roadside gullies.

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He was newly aware that Gabriel’s safety depended entirely upon his own continued strength.

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They saw their first waterfall, and for the first time wildlife.

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"Plane! Plane!" Gabriel called, and Jonas turned swiftly into the trees, though he had not seen planes in days, and he did not hear an aircraft engine now. When he stopped the bicycle in the shrubbery and turned to grab Gabe, he saw the small chubby arm pointing toward the sky.

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Terrified, he looked up, but it was not a plane at all. Though he had never seen one before, he identified it from his fading memories, for The Giver had given them to him often. It was a bird.

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Soon there were many birds along the way, soaring overhead, calling. They saw deer; and once, beside the road, looking at them curious and unafraid, a small reddish-brown creature with a thick tail, whose name Jonas did not know. He slowed the bike and they stared at one another until the creature turned away and disappeared into the woods.

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All of it was new to him. After a life of Sameness and predictability, he was awed by the surprises that lay beyond each curve of the road. He slowed the bike again and again to look with wonder at wildflowers, to enjoy the throaty warble of a new bird nearby, or merely to watch the way wind shifted the leaves in the trees. During his twelve years in the community, he had never felt such simple moments of exquisite happiness.

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But there were desperate fears building in him now as well. The most relentless of his new fears was that they would starve. Now that they had left the cultivated fields behind them, it was almost impossible to find food. They finished the meager store of potatoes and carrots they had saved from the last agricultural area, and now they were always hungry.

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Jonas knelt by a stream and tried without success to catch a fish with his hands. Frustrated , he threw rocks into the water, knowing even as he did so that it was useless. Finally, in desperation, he fashioned a makeshift net, looping the strands of Gabriel’s blanket around a curved stick.

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After countless tries, the net yielded two flopping silvery fish. Methodically Jonas hacked them to pieces with a sharp rock and fed the raw shreds to himself and to Gabriel. They ate some berries, and tried without success to catch a bird.

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At night, while Gabriel slept beside him, Jonas lay awake, tortured by hunger, and remembered his life in the community where meals were delivered to each dwelling every day.

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He tried to use the flagging power of his memory to recreate meals, and managed brief, tantalizing fragments: banquets with huge roasted meats; birthday parties with thick-frosted cakes; and lush fruits picked and eaten, sun warmed and dripping, from trees.

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But when the memory glimpses subsided , he was left with the gnawing , painful emptiness. Jonas remembered, suddenly and grimly, the time in his childhood when he had been chastised for misusing a word. The word had been "starving". You have never been starving, he had been told. You will never be starving.

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Now he was. If he had stayed in the community, he would not be. It was as simple as that. Once he had yearned for choice. Then, when he had had a choice, he had made the wrong one: the choice to leave. And now he was starving.

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But if he had stayed...His thoughts continued. If he had stayed, he would have starved in other ways. He would have lived a life hungry for feelings, for color, for love.

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And Gabriel? For Gabriel there would have been no life at all. So there had not really been a choice.

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It became a struggle to ride the bicycle as Jonas weakened from lack of food, and realized at the same time that he was encountering something he had for a long time yearned to see: hills. His sprained ankle throbbed as he forced the pedal downward in an effort that was almost beyond him.

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And the weather was changing. It rained for two days. Jonas had never seen rain, though he had experienced it often in the memories. He had liked those rains, enjoyed the new feeling of it, but this was different. He and Gabriel became cold and wet, and it was hard to get dry, even when sunshine occasionally followed.

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Gabriel had not cried during the long frightening journey. Now he did. He cried because he was hungry and cold and terribly weak. Jonas cried, too, for the same reasons, and another reason as well. He wept because he was afraid now that he could not save Gabriel. He no longer cared about himself.

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