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记忆传授人|The Giver

第十九章 解放真相|Chapter 19

属类： 双语小说 【分类】魔幻小说 阅读：[9945]
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乔纳思瞄了一眼时钟，发现时间已经过了大半。要做的事情总是那么多，他和传授人很少像刚才那样单纯聊天。

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“很抱歉我问了那么多问题，浪费了时间。”乔纳思说，“因为今天我爸爸要解放一名新生儿，所以我才会问起解放的事。今天有一对双胞胎出生，他必须做个选择，解放其中一个，留下体重较重的宝宝。”乔纳思又瞄了一下时钟，“他应该已经完成了，那是今天早上的事。”

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传授人神情非常凝重：“我希望他们不要这样做。”他几乎是自言自语。

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“因为社区里不能有两个一模一样的人啊！否则就要天下大乱了！”乔纳思轻声一笑。

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“真希望我可以在一旁观看。”他又补上一句。他想看看爸爸怎么举行解放仪式，怎么帮较轻的新生儿清洁、打理一切。爸爸是个体贴的人。

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“你可以看。”传授人说。

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“不行，”乔纳思告诉他，“小孩不能观看，这是秘密进行的。”

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“乔纳思，”传授人告诉他，“你不是仔细读过训练规则吗？别忘了，你可以问任何问题。”

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乔纳思点点头：“我记得，但是……”

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“乔纳思，当我们一起工作一段时间后，你就是新的记忆传授人。你可以读书，你会获得所有的记忆，你将接受一切。这是受训的一部分，如果你想看解放仪式，你尽管提出要求。”

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乔纳思耸耸肩，“好吧！不过这次太晚了，我确定仪式已在早上举行过了。”

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传授人告诉他一些他还不知道的事：“所有秘密进行的仪式都会录像存放在机密档案室里。你想看今天早上的解放仪式吗？”

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乔纳思迟疑了，他担心爸爸知道了会不高兴，因为那是秘密仪式。

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“我觉得你应该看。”传授人坚定地告诉他。

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“好吧，请告诉我怎么做。”乔纳思说。

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传授人从椅子上站起来，走到墙上的对讲机旁，“咔哒”

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一声，把开关扳到开的位置。

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对讲机马上传来声音：“您好，记忆传授人，请问有什么吩咐？”

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“我想看今天早上双胞胎的解放仪式。”

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“请稍候，记忆传授人。谢谢您的指示。”

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乔纳思望着开关上面的屏幕，原本空白的画面开始闪现锯齿状的线条，接着出现一些数字，接下来是日期和时间。他既震惊又高兴，没想到使用这么方便，自己以前竟然不知道。

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突然间，屏幕上出现一个没有窗户的小房间，地板上铺着褪色的地毯，里头只有一张床、一张桌子，还有一个橱柜，桌上放了某种仪器——乔纳思认出那是一个磅秤：他在育婴中心当义工时曾经见过。

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“只是一间普通的房间嘛。”他说，“我还以为会在礼堂举行，好让大家都参加，就像所有的老人都去参加解放仪式一样。会不会是因为他才刚出生，不…

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“嘘！”传授人说，眼睛看着屏幕。

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屏幕上，乔纳思的爸爸穿着养育师的制服，进入房间，他的手臂上抱着一个用柔软的毯子包裹着的新生儿。另一个没有穿制服的女孩儿尾随在后，手上用相同的毯子包着另一名新生儿。

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“那是我爸爸。”乔纳思自然而然地压低声音，生怕吵醒小家伙似的，“另一个人是他的助手，还在受训，但很快就要完成训练了。”

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两位养育师打开毯子，将一模一样的双胞胎放在床上。

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他们全身赤裸，一看就知道是男孩儿。

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他全神贯注地看着爸爸轻轻地举起其中一个，放到磅秤上量体重，再举起另一个。

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他听见爸爸在笑：“很好，”爸爸对助手说：“我还以为他们连体重都一样，那麻烦可就大了。不过这一个，”他将其中一个重新包好，交给助手，“刚好六磅。你把他清洗干净，穿上衣服，带到育婴中心。”

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助手抱着新生儿走出门口。

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乔纳思看见爸爸弯腰对床上扭着身子的新生儿说：“至于你呢，小家伙，你只有五磅十盎斯，小虾米一只。”

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“他都是用这种声调跟加波说话的。”乔纳思微笑着说。

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“专心看。”传授人说。

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“现在帮小宝宝清洗，让他舒舒服服的。”乔纳思说，“爸爸早告诉我了。”

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“安静，乔纳思。”传授人用怪异的声音下了命令，“注意看。”

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乔纳思不再出声，专心看屏幕。他对仪式本身很好奇。

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爸爸转身打开橱柜，拿出一支针管和一个小瓶子。他小心翼翼地将针头伸入小瓶子中，不一会儿针管便注满透明的液体。

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乔纳思同情地缩了一下身体，他忘了新生儿还得打针。

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他自己很讨厌打针，虽然他知道这是必要的。

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出乎意料的是，爸爸竟然很小心地将针头插人小宝宝的脑门儿，小宝宝的脉搏在脆弱的肌肤下跳动着，他扭动全身，发出嚶嚶的哭泣声。

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“他为什么……”

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“嘘！”传授人低声制止。

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他的爸爸正在说话，乔纳思这才想到，他可以听到他原先提问的答案。爸爸用他那种特殊的音调说：“我知道，我知道，这很痛，小家伙。但是我必须找到静脉，你手上的静脉太细了。”

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他以很慢的速度推动针管，将液体注入头皮的静脉，直到注射管完全空了。

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“完成了，没有那么糟嘛，不是吗？”乔纳思听见爸爸开心地说，转身将针管丢进垃圾桶。

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乔纳思知道传授人不想说话，因此自言自语地说：“原来这就是帮他清洁、让他舒适的方法。”

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乔纳思继续观看，小宝宝已经不再哭泣，他的手脚突然抽动了一下，然后瘫软下来。他的头垂向一边，眼睛半闭着，完全静止不动了。

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乔纳思的内心涌起怪异、震惊的感受，他看过这样的姿势和表情，那模样是如此熟悉，只是一时想不起来在哪里见过。

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乔纳思瞪着屏幕，等着后面事情的发展。但是较小的双胞胎一动也不动地躺着，他的爸爸正在收拾东西，折好毯子，关上橱柜。

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他仿佛再度回到战场，空气几乎凝固了。他看见那张披散着金发的脸庞，那个浑身是血、眼神空洞的士兵——那种记忆回来了。

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他杀了婴儿！我的爸爸杀了婴儿！乔纳思被自己刚刚了解的真相吓坏了。他麻木地瞪着屏幕。

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爸爸将房间收拾干净后，再将地板上的一个小纸箱拿到床上，把软绵绵的尸体放进去，将盖子盖严。

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他拿起纸箱，走到房间的另一头，打开墙上的小门，乔纳思看见门后漆黑一片，就跟学校放置垃圾的斜槽一样。

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爸爸把装着尸体的纸箱放人斜槽，轻轻一推。

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乔纳思听见爸爸在离开房间前说：“再见了，小家伙。”

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然后屏幕一片空白。

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传授人转身面对他’非常平静地开始叙述：“广播员通知我，萝丝玛丽已经要求解放，他们就将过程放给我看。她就站在那儿等着，那是我最后一次看见那孩子漂亮的身影。

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他们带着针管，要她卷起袖子。

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乔纳思，你曾问我她是不是不够勇敢？我不了解勇敢，勇敢到底是什么？又有什么特殊含意？我只知道我无力地坐在这里，吓坏了，全身发冷。我听见萝丝玛丽告诉他们，她宁可自己注射。

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她真的这样做了，我没有看，我把头转开了。”

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传授人看着他：“好啦，乔纳思，这就是你一直想知道的解放。”他的声音充满苦涩。

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仿佛有人在撕扯乔纳思的胸腔，巨大的痛楚一波波涌现，最后爆发成撕心裂肺的哭喊声。

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Jonas glanced at the clock. There was so much work to be done, always, that he and The Giver seldom simply sat and talked, the way they just had.

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"I’m sorry that I wasted so much time with my questions," Jonas said. "I was only asking about release because my father is releasing a new child today. A twin. He has to select one and release the other one. They do it by weight." Jonas glanced at the clock. "Actually, I suppose he’s already finished. I think it was this morning."

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The Giver’s face took on a solemn look. "I wish they wouldn’t do that," he said quietly, almost to himself.

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"Well, they can’t have two identical people around! Think how confusing it would be!" Jonas chuckled .

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"I wish I could watch," he added, as an afterthought. He liked the thought of seeing his father perform the ceremony, and making the little twin clean and comfy. His father was such a gentle man.

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"You can watch," The Giver said.

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"No," Jonas told him. "They never let children watch. It’s very private."

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"Jonas," The Giver told him, "I know that you read your training instructions very carefully. Don’t you remember that you are allowed to ask anyone anything?"

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Jonas nodded. "Yes, but — "

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"Jonas, when you and I have finished our time together, you will be the new Receiver. You can read the books; you’ll have the memories. You have access to everything. It’s part of your training. If you want to watch a release, you have simply to ask."

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Jonas shrugged

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. "Well, maybe I will, then. But it’s too late for this one. I’m sure it was this morning."

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The Giver told him, then, something he had not known. "All private ceremonies are recorded. They’re in the Hall of Closed Records. Do you want to see this morning’s release?"

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Jonas hesitated. He was afraid that his father wouldn’t like it, if he watched something so private.

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"I think you should," The Giver told him firmly.

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"All right, then," Jonas said. "Tell me how."

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The Giver rose from his chair, went to the speaker on the wall, and clicked the switch from OFF to ON.

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The voice spoke immediately. "Yes, Receiver. How may I help you?"

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"I would like to see this morning’s release of the twin."

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"One moment, Receiver. Thank you for your instructions."

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Jonas watched the video screen above the row of switches. Its blank face began to flicker with zig-zag lines; then some numbers appeared, followed by the date and time. He was astonished and delighted that this was available to him, and surprised that he had not known.

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Suddenly he could see a small windowless room, empty except for a bed, a table with some equipment on it — Jonas recognized a scale; he had seen them before, when he’d been doing volunteer hours at the Nurturing Center 148 and a cupboard. He could see pale carpeting on the floor.

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"It’s just an ordinary room," he commented. "I thought maybe they’d have it in the Auditorium , so that everybody could come. All the Old go to Ceremonies of Release. But I suppose that when it’s just a newborn, they don’t — "

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"Shhh," The Giver said, his eyes on the screen.

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Jonas’s father, wearing his nurturing uniform, entered the room, cradling a tiny new child wrapped in a soft blanket in his arms. A uniformed woman followed through the door, carrying a second new child wrapped in a similar blanket.

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"That’s my father." Jonas found himself whispering, as if he might wake the little ones if he spoke aloud. "And the other Nurturer is his assistant. She’s still in training, but she’ll be finished soon."

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The two Nurturers unwrapped the blankets and laid the identical newborns on the bed. They were naked. Jonas could see that they were males.

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He watched, fascinated, as his father gently lifted one and then the other to the scale and weighed them.

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He heard his father laugh. "Good," his father said to the woman. "I thought for a moment that they might both be exactly the same. Then we’d have a problem. But this one" — he handed one, after rewrapping it, to his assistant" is six pounds even. So you can clean him up and dress him and take him over to the Center."

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The woman took the new child and left through the door she had entered.

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Jonas watched as his father bent over the squirming new child on the bed. "And you, little guy, you’re only five pounds ten ounces. A shrimp !"

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"That’s the special voice he uses with Gabriel," Jonas remarked, smiling.

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"Watch," The Giver said.

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"Now he cleans him up and makes him comfy," Jonas told him. "He told me."

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"Be quiet, Jonas," The Giver commanded in a strange voice. "Watch."

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Obediently Jonas concentrated on the screen, waiting for what would happen next. He was especially curious about the ceremony part.

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His father turned and opened the cupboard. He took out a syringe and a small bottle. Very carefully he inserted the needle into the bottle and began to fill the syringe with a clear liquid.

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Jonas winced sympathetically. He had forgotten that new children had to get shots. He hated shots himself, though he knew that they were necessary.

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To his surprise, his father began very carefully to direct the needle into the top of the new child forehead, puncturing the place where the fragile skin pulsed. The new-born squirmed, and wailed faintly.

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"Why’s he — "

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"All done. That wasn’t so bad, was it?" Jonas heard his father say cheerfully. He turned aside and dropped the syringe into a waste receptacle.

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Now he cleans him up and makes him comfy, Jonas said to himself, aware that The Giver didn’t want to talk during the little ceremony.

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