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记忆传授人|The Giver

第八章 记忆传授人|Chapter 8

属类： 双语小说 【分类】魔幻小说 阅读：[9933]
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观众席里流荡着一股不安的气氛，人们对最后一项指派工作报以掌声，但是掌声稀稀落落的，不像先前那样热烈、整齐……大家困惑地窃窃私语。

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乔纳思机械地、无意识地拍着手，原本期待、兴奋、骄傲和为朋友感到无比快乐的情绪，早已消失无踪；现在他只感到羞辱和恐惧。

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首席长老等到不安的掌声停歇后，才又开口说话。

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“我知道，”她用充满活力又十分优雅的声音说，“大家都很担心，以为我可能弄错了。”

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她笑了。大家听见她这句亲切的声明，马上从不安的情绪中解脱出来，呼吸顿时舒畅了许多，现场一片安静。

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乔纳思抬起头。

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“让大家忧虑不安，”她说，“我郑重向整个社区道歉。”

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她的声音在观众席中回荡。

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“我们接受你的道歉。”大家异口同声地回答。

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“乔纳思，”她低头看着他，“我要特别向你致歉，很抱歉让你坐立不安。”

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“我接受你的道歉。”乔纳思的声音微微颤抖。

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“现在请你到台上来。”

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今天稍早，他在家里换衣服的时候，还练习了一下该怎样满怀自信地上台，现在那些全抛到九霄云外去了。他光是站起来，往前走，爬楼梯，走过平台站到首席长老身旁去,都觉得举步维艰。

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她把手放在他紧张的肩膀上，要他放松。

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“乔纳思没有分派到工作。”她对所有的人说。乔纳思心里一沉。

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她继续说下去：“乔纳思被选上了。”

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他眨了一下眼睛，那是什么意思？他可以感觉到观众的内心也同时升起了这个疑问。

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她用坚定、命令式的语气说：“乔纳思被选上担任我们下一位记忆传承人。”

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接着他听到大家一一每位在座的居民——因为震惊而猛吸一口气，每个人的脸上都充满敬畏的神情。

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不过，他还是不懂。

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“这样的遴选是非常非常罕见的。”首席长老告诉大家，“我们社区里只有一位记忆传承人，由他负责训练接班人。”

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“现任的记忆传承人担任这个职务已经很久了。”她继续说，乔纳思随着她的目光看过去，长老委员会的成员都坐在一起，首席长老的目光落在正中央一位长老身上，奇怪的是，那位长老却又仿佛不属于这个组织。乔纳思以前从未看过这位长老，他蓄着胡子，眼珠子也是淡色的，他热切地注视着乔纳思。

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“上次的遴选失败了。”首席长老神色黯淡地说，“那是十年前的事了，那时乔纳思还在学走路。那次的经历带给大家莫大的痛苦，我不想再多加叙述。”

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乔纳思不知道她指的是什么，但是感受得到低沉的气氛——大家在不安地挪动着身子。

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“这一次我们不再匆促行事，”她继续说，“我们经不起再一次的失败。”

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“有时候，”她用比较轻快的语调化解礼堂里沉重的气氛，“即使我们已经竭尽所能、密切观察，还是无法充分掌握某些指派工作。有时我们会担心，即使经过训练，有人还是无法达到预定的标准。毕竟，十一岁还只是个孩子。比如我们以为某人具有赤子之心和耐性，很适合担任养育师，没想到训练之后，才发现他只是愚蠢和懒散。所以在训练过程中我们会继续观察，做必要的修正。

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但是记忆传承人受训时不受监督或修正，这在规则里头写得很清楚。他必须在隔离的状态下，由现任的记忆传承人全权主导，这是一项神圣荣耀的使命。”

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隔离？乔纳思越听越不安。

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“所以遴选必须非常谨慎，得全体委员毫无疑虑才行。

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如果在遴选过程中有长老做了不确定的梦，就足以把候选人从名单中除去。”

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“很多年前，乔纳思就已被指认是记忆传承人的可能人选。我们密切观察他，也没有长老做过不确定的梦。”

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“他充分展现了担任记忆传承人必备的特质。”

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她把手搭在乔纳思的肩膀上，开始说明是哪些特质。

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“聪明。”她说，“我们都知道，乔纳思从入学以来，一直是班上顶尖的学生。”

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“正直。”她接着说，“乔纳思跟我们一样，都犯过一些小错，”她对他微微一笑，“我们希望他能勇于认错，迅速改过，他的确做到了。”

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“勇气。”她又说，“我们当中只有一个人接受过记忆传承人的严苛训练，他就是我们委员会中最重要的成员——现任的记忆传承人。他一次又一次地提醒我们，一定要具备勇气。”

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“乔纳思，”她转身面向他，不过所有的人都可以听到她的声音，“在训练过程中，你必须承受身体上的痛苦。”

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恐惧轰然袭上乔纳思心头。

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“那是你不曾经历过的痛苦。没错，你曾从自行车上摔下来，擦伤膝盖；没错，去年你的手指头也被门给压伤过。”

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乔纳思同意地点点头，他回想起那些意外事件和伴随而来的痛苦。

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“但是，很快你又得面对这样的经历，”她温和地解释，“在训练过程中，你会历经巨大的痛楚，那些痛楚超出我们的想象，因为我们没有这样的经历。记忆传承人自己也无法形容，只是一再提醒我们要让你知道：你需要很大的勇气去面对，很遗憾我们无法事先为你做些防范的准备。”

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“不过，我们确信你有这样的勇气。”她对他说。

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他一点也不勇敢，至少现在就不是。

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“第四个主要的特点，”首席长老说，“就是智能。乔纳思尚未学会，但通过训练，他将逐渐获得这项能力。

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我们确信他具有获得智能的潜能，这也是我们正在积极发掘的。

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最后，记忆传承人还必须具备另一项特点，关于这一点，我只知名称，但没办法加以描述。因为我不了解，社区中的成员也没人了解。也许乔纳思知道，因为现任的记忆传承人告诉我们，乔纳思已经具备这项他称为‘超眼界’的能力。”

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首席长老用质疑的眼光看着乔纳思，观众的焦点也都集中在他身上。现场寂静无声。

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在那一瞬间，他怔住了，内心无比沮丧。他也不知道啊，那到底是什么能力呢？他根本不清楚。现在他必须承认：“没有，我没有这项能力。”祈求大家的宽恕和原谅，还要解释清楚选上他是一大错误，他根本不是那块料。

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但是当他往人群望过去，看着一张张的脸孔，幻象又产生了，就跟上次的苹果事件一模一样。

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人群变了。

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他眨眨眼，一切又恢复原样。他挺了挺肩膀，在那一刹那间，他第一次肯定自己具有这样的能力。

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她还看着他，所有人的目光也集中在他身上。

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“我想是吧！”他告诉首席长老和大家，“我自己也不了解，也不知道为什么会这样。但是，有时候我的确会看见一些不可思议的东西，也许这就是超眼界。”

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她的手臂从他肩膀上放下来。

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“乔纳思，”她不仅是对他，也是对他所属的整个社区说，“你将接受训练，成为我们下一任的记忆传承人。谢谢你奉献了你的童年。”

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说着她转身离开讲台，留下他一个人站在台上，面对观众。大家开始自发地低吟他的名字。

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“乔纳思，”一开始只像个耳语，短促可闻，“乔纳思，乔纳思……”

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渐渐地声音越来越大，越来越快：“乔纳思、乔纳思、乔纳思……”

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随着逐渐增强的唱颂声，乔纳思明白，大家就跟接纳新生儿凯尔博一样，已接纳了他和他的新角色。他的内心充满感激和骄傲。

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但是，在这同时，他也感到无比惶恐。他不了解自己为什么会被选上？他对自己的未来毫无概念。

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未来他会怎样呢？

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The audience was clearly ill at ease. They applauded at the final Assignment; but the applause was piecemeal , no longer a crescendo of united enthusiasm. There were murmurs of confusion.

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Jonas moved his hands together, clapping, but it was an automatic, meaningless gesture that he wasn’t even aware of. His mind had shut out all of the earlier emotions: the anticipation , excitement, pride, and even the happy kinship with his friends. Now he felt only humiliation and terror.

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The Chief Elder waited until the uneasy applause subsided . Then she spoke again.

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"I know," she said in her vibrant , gracious voice, "that you are all concerned. That you feel I have made a mistake."

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She smiled. The community, relieved from its discomfort very slightly by her benign statement, seemed to breathe more easily. It was very silent.

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Jonas looked up.

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"I have caused you anxiety," she said. "I apologize to my community." Her voice flowed over the assembled crowd.

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"We accept your apology," they all uttered together.

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"Jonas," she said, looking down at him, "I apologize to you in particular. I caused you anguish ."

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"I accept your apology," Jonas replied shakily.

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"Please come to the stage now."

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Earlier that day, dressing in his own dwelling , he had practiced the kind of jaunty , self-assured walk that he hoped he could make to the stage when his turn came. All of that was forgotten now. He simply willed himself to stand, to move his feet that felt weighted and clumsy, to go forward, up the steps and across the platform until he stood at her side.

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Reassuringly she placed her arm across his tense shoulders.

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"Jonas has not been assigned," she informed the crowd, and his heart sank.

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Then she went on. "Jonas has been selected."

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He blinked. What did that mean? He felt a collective, questioning stir from the audience. They, too, were puzzled.

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In a firm, commanding voice she announced, "Jonas has been selected to be our next Receiver of Memory."

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Then he heard the gasp — the sudden intake of breath, drawn sharply in astonishment , by each of the seated citizens. He saw their faces; the eyes widened in awe .

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And still he did not understand.

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"Such a selection is very, very rare," the Chief Elder told the audience. "Our community has only one Receiver. It is he who trains his successor.

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"We have had our current Receiver for a very long time," she went on. Jonas followed her eyes and saw that she was looking at one of the Elders. The Committee of Elders was sitting together in a group; and the Chief Elder’s eyes were now on one who sat in the midst but seemed oddly separate from them. It was a man Jonas had never noticed before, a bearded man with pale eyes. He was watching Jonas intently.

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"We failed in our last selection," the Chief Elder said solemnly. "It was ten years ago, when Jonas was just a toddler. I will not dwell on the experience because it causes us all terrible discomfort."

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Jonas didn’t know what she was referring to, but he could sense the discomfort of the audience. They shifted uneasily in their seats.

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"We have not been hasty this time," she continued. "We could not afford another failure."

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"Sometimes," she went on, speaking now in a lighter tone, relaxing the tension in the Auditorium , "we are not entirely certain about the Assignments, even after the most painstaking observations. Sometimes we worry that the one assigned might not develop, through training, every attribute necessary. Elevens are still children, after all. What we observe as playfulness and patience — the requirements to become Nurturer — could, with maturity , be revealed as simply foolishness and indolence. So we continue to observe during training, and to modify behavior when necessary.

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"But the Receiver-in-training cannot be observed, cannot be modified. That is stated quite clearly in the rules. He is to be alone, apart, while he is prepared by the current Receiver for the job which is the most honored in our community."

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Alone? Apart? Jonas listened with increasing unease.

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"Therefore the selection must be sound. It must be a unanimous choice of the Committee. They can have no doubts, however fleeting . If, during the process, an Elder reports a dream of uncertainty , that dream has the power to set a candidate aside instantly.

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"Jonas was identified as a possible Receiver many years ago. We have observed him meticulously . There were no dreams of uncertainty.

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"He has shown all of the qualities that a Receiver must have."

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With her hand still firmly on his shoulder, the Chief Elder listed the qualities.

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"Intelligence," she said. "We are all aware that Jonas has been a top student throughout his school days.

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"Integrity," she said next. "Jonas has, like all of us, committed minor transgressions

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." She smiled at him. "We expect that. We hoped, also, that he would present himself promptly for chastisement , and he has always done so.

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"Courage," she went on. "Only one of us here today has ever undergone the rigorous training required of a Receiver. He, of course, is the most important member of the Committee: the current Receiver. It was he who reminded us, again and again, of the courage required.

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"Jonas," she said, turning to him, but speaking in a voice that the entire community could hear, "the training required of you involves pain. Physical pain."

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He felt fear flutter within him.

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"You have never experienced that. Yes, you have scraped your knees in falls from your bicycle. Yes, you crushed your finger in a door last year."

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Jonas nodded, agreeing, as he recalled the incident, and its accompanying misery .

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"But you will be faced, now," she explained gently, "with pain of a magnitude that none of us here can comprehend because it is beyond our experience. The Receiver himself was not able to describe it, only to remind us that you would be faced with it, that you would need immense courage. We cannot prepare you for that.

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"But we feel certain that you are brave," she said to him.

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He did not feel brave at all. Not now.

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"The fourth essential attribute," the Chief Elder said, "is wisdom. Jonas has not yet acquired that. The acquisition of wisdom will come through his training.

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"We are convinced that Jonas has the ability to acquire wisdom. That is what we looked for.

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"Finally, The Receiver must have one more quality, and it is one which I can only name, but not describe. I do not understand it. You members of the community will not understand it, either. Perhaps Jonas will, because the current Receiver has told us that Jonas already has this quality. He calls it the Capacity to See Beyond."

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The Chief Elder looked at Jonas with a question in her eyes. The audience watched him, too. They were silent.

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For a moment he froze, consumed with despair. He didn’t have it, the whatever-she-had-said. He didn’t know what it was. Now was the moment when he would have to confess, to say, "No, I don’t. I can’t," and throw himself on their mercy, ask their forgiveness, to explain that he had been wrongly chosen, that he was not the right one at all.

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But when he looked out across the crowd, the sea of faces, the thing happened again. The thing that had happened with the apple.

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They changed.

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He blinked, and it was gone. His shoulders straightened slightly. Briefly he felt a tiny sliver of sureness for the first time.

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She was still watching him. They all were.

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"I think it’s true," he told the Chief Elder and the community. "I don’t understand it yet. I don’t know what it is. But sometimes I see something. And maybe it’s beyond."

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She took her arm from his shoulders.

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"Jonas," she said, speaking not to him alone but to the entire community of which he was a part, "you will be trained to be our next Receiver of Memory. We thank you for your childhood."

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Then she turned and left the stage, left him there alone, standing and facing the crowd, which began spontaneously the collective murmur of his name.

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"Jonas." It was a whisper at first: hushed, barely audible. "Jonas. Jonas."

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Then louder, faster. "JONAS. JONAS. JONAS."

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With the chant, Jonas knew, the community was accepting him and his new role, giving him life, the way they had given it to the new child Caleb. His heart swelled with gratitude and pride.

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But at the same time he was filled with fear. He did not know what his selection meant. He did not know what he was to become.

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Or what would become of him.

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