The Vicar of Blackstable would have nothing to do with the scheme which Philip laid before him. He had a great idea that one should stick to whatever one had begun. Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind.
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"当初要当会计师,那可纯粹出于你自愿,谁也没强迫过你,"他说。"
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‘You chose to be an accountant of your own free will,’ he said.
‘I just took that because it was the only chance I saw of getting up to town. I hate London, I hate the work, and nothing will induce me to go back to it.’
Mr. and Mrs. Carey were frankly shocked at Philip’s idea of being an artist. He should not forget, they said, that his father and mother were gentlefolk, and painting wasn’t a serious profession; it was Bohemian, disreputable, immoral . And then Paris!
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"只要我在这事情上还有点发言权,我是决不会放你去巴黎鬼混的,"牧师口气坚决地说。
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‘So long as I have anything to say in the matter, I shall not allow you to live in Paris,’ said the Vicar firmly.
‘You’ve been brought up like a gentleman and Christian , and I should be false to the trust laid upon me by your dead father and mother if I allowed you to expose yourself to such temptation.’
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"嗯,我知道我不是个基督徒,现在甚至连自己是不是上等人也开始。有点怀疑,"菲利普说。
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‘Well, I know I’m not a Christian and I’m beginning to doubt whether I’m a gentleman,’ said Philip.
The dispute grew more violent. There was another year before Philip took possession of his small inheritance, and during that time Mr. Carey proposed only to give him an allowance if he remained at the office.
It was clear to Philip that if he meant not to continue with accountancy he must leave it while he could still get back half the money that had been paid for his articles. The Vicar would not listen. Philip, losing all reserve, said things to wound and irritate.
‘You’ve got no right to waste my money,’ he said at last. ‘After all it’s my money, isn’t it? I’m not a child. You can’t prevent me from going to Paris if I make up my mind to. You can’t force me to go back to London.’
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"要是你干的事我认为不合适,我一个子儿也不给,这一点我是办得刊的。"
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‘All I can do is to refuse you money unless you do what I think fit.’
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"好吧,我才不在乎呢!反正巴黎我是去定了,我可以变卖我的衣服、书籍,还有我父亲的首饰。"
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‘Well, I don’t care, I’ve made up my mind to go to Paris. I shall sell my clothes, and my books, and my father’s jewellery.’
Aunt Louisa sat by in silence, anxious and unhappy. she saw that Philip was beside himself, and anything she said then would but increase his anger. Finally the Vicar announced that he wished to hear nothing more about it and with dignity left the room. For the next three days neither Philip nor he spoke to one another. Philip wrote to Hayward for information about Paris, and made up his mind to set out as soon as he got a reply. Mrs. Carey turned the matter over in her mind incessantly ; she felt that Philip included her in the hatred he bore her husband, and the thought tortured her. She loved him with all her heart. At length she spoke to him; she listened attentively while he poured out all his disillusionment of London and his eager ambition for the future.
‘I may be no good, but at least let me have a try. I can’t be a worse failure than I was in that beastly office. And I feel that I can paint. I know I’ve got it in me.’
She was not so sure as her husband that they did right in thwarting so strong an inclination . She had read of great painters whose parents had opposed their wish to study, the event had shown with what folly ; and after all it was just as possible for a painter to lead a virtuous life to the glory of God as for a chartered accountant.
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"我担心的倒是你去巴黎这一点,"她凄凄切切地说。"如果你在伦敦学画,那倒也算了。"
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‘I’m so afraid of your going to Paris,’ she said piteously. ‘It wouldn’t be so bad if you studied in London.’
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"要学就得学到家,真正的绘画艺术只有在巴黎才能学到手。"
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‘If I’m going in for painting I must do it thoroughly , and it’s only in Paris that you can get the real thing.’
At his suggestion Mrs. Carey wrote to the solicitor , saying that Philip was discontented with his work in London, and asking what he thought of a change. Mr. Nixon answered as follows:
I have seen Mr. Herbert Carter, and I am afraid I must tell you that Philip has not done so well as one could have wished. If he is very strongly set against the work, perhaps it is better that he should take the opportunity there is now to break his articles. I am naturally very disappointed, but as you know you can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make him drink.
The letter was shown to the Vicar, but served only to increase his obstinacy . He was willing enough that Philip should take up some other profession, he suggested his father’s calling, medicine, but nothing would induce him to pay an allowance if Philip went to Paris.
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"这无非是为自我放纵、耽于声色找个借日罢了,"牧师说。
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‘It’s a mere excuse for self-indulgence and sensuality,’ he said.
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"听到你责怪别人自我放纵,我觉得挺有趣的,"菲利普语中带刺地顶撞一句。
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‘I’m interested to hear you blame self-indulgence in others,’ retorted Philip acidly.
But by this time an answer had come from Hayward, giving the name of a hotel where Philip could get a room for thirty francs a month and enclosing a note of introduction to the massiere of a school. Philip read the letter to Mrs. Carey and told her he proposed to start on the first of September.
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"可你身边一个子儿也没有呀?"她说。
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‘But you haven’t got any money?’ she said.
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"今天下午我打算去坎特伯雷变卖首饰。"
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‘I’m going into Tercanbury this afternoon to sell the jewellery.’
He had inherited from his father a gold watch and chain, two or three rings, some links, and two pins. One of them was a pearl and might fetch a considerable sum.
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"买进是个宝,卖出是裸草,"路易莎伯母说。
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‘It’s a very different thing, what a thing’s worth and what it’ll fetch,’ said Aunt Louisa.
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菲利普笑了笑,因为这是他大伯的一句日头禅。
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Philip smiled, for this was one of his uncle’s stock phrases.
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"这我知道。不过,我想这些玩意儿至少可以卖一百镑。有了这笔钱,我总能维持到二十一岁了吧。"
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‘I know, but at the worst I think I can get a hundred pounds on the lot, and that’ll keep me till I’m twenty-one.’
Mrs. Carey did not answer, but she went upstairs, put on her little black bonnet , and went to the bank. In an hour she came back. She went to Philip, who was reading in the drawing-room, and handed him an envelope.
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"是什么呀?"他问。
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‘What’s this?’ he asked.
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"给你的一份薄礼,"她回答说,赧然一笑。
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‘It’s a little present for you,’ she answered, smiling shyly.
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他拆开信封袋一看,里边有十一张五镑的钞票,还有一个塞满一枚枚金镑的小纸包。
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He opened it and found eleven five-pound notes and a little paper sack bulging with sovereigns.
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"我不忍心眼睁睁看着你变卖你父亲的首饰。这是我存在银行里的钱,差不多有一百镑了。"
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‘I couldn’t bear to let you sell your father’s jewellery. It’s the money I had in the bank. It comes to very nearly a hundred pounds.’
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菲利普刷地红了脸,不知怎地,他心头一酸,顿时热泪盈眶。
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Philip blushed, and, he knew not why, tears suddenly filled his eyes.
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"哦,亲爱的,这个我可不能拿,"他说。"你心肠真好,不过我怎么也不能忍心收下这笔钱。"
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‘Oh, my dear, I can’t take it,’ he said. ‘It’s most awfully good of you, but I couldn’t bear to take it.’
When Mrs. Carey was married she had three hundred pounds, and this money, carefully watched, had been used by her to meet any unforeseen expense, any urgent charity, or to buy Christmas and birthday presents for her husband and for Philip. In the course of years it had diminished sadly, but it was still with the Vicar a subject for jesting. He talked of his wife as a rich woman and he constantly spoke of the ‘nest egg.’
‘Oh, I’m not sorry.’ Her voice broke and she hid her eyes, but in a moment, drying them, she smiled bravely. ‘At first, I used to pray to God that He might not take me first, because I didn’t want your uncle to be left alone, I didn’t want him to have all the suffering, but now I know that it wouldn’t mean so much to your uncle as it would mean to me. He wants to live more than I do, I’ve never been the wife he wanted, and I daresay he’d marry again if anything happened to me. So I should like to go first. You don’t think it’s selfish of me, Philip, do you? But I couldn’t bear it if he went.’