He saw her then every day. He began going to lunch at the shop, but Mildred stopped him: she said it made the girls talk; so he had to content himself with tea; but he always waited about to walk with her to the station; and once or twice a week they dined together. He gave her little presents, a gold bangle, gloves, handkerchiefs, and the like.
He was spending more than he could afford, but he could not help it: it was only when he gave her anything that she showed any affection. She knew the price of everything, and her gratitude was in exact proportion with the value of his gift. He did not care. He was too happy when she volunteered to kiss him to mind by what means he got her demonstrativeness. He discovered that she found Sundays at home tedious, so he went down to Herne Hill in the morning, met her at the end of the road, and went to church with her.
读书笔记
是否公开
3
-
"我早就想去教堂看看,那儿挺有气派的,是吗?"
读书笔记
是否公开
3
-
‘I always like to go to church once,’ she said. ‘it looks well, doesn’t it?’
Then she went back to dinner, he got a scrappy meal at a hotel, and in the afternoon they took a walk in Brockwell Park. They had nothing much to say to one another, and Philip, desperately afraid she was bored (she was very easily bored), racked his brain for topics of conversation.
He realised that these walks amused neither of them, but he could not bear to leave her, and did all he could to lengthen them till she became tired and out of temper. He knew that she did not care for him, and he tried to force a love which his reason told him was not in her nature: she was cold. He had no claim on her, but he could not help being exacting .
Now that they were more intimate he found it less easy to control his temper; he was often irritable and could not help saying bitter things. Often they quarrelled, and she would not speak to him for a while; but this always reduced him to subjection, and he crawled before her. He was angry with himself for showing so little dignity.
He grew furiously jealous if he saw her speaking to any other man in the shop, and when he was jealous he seemed to be beside himself. He would deliberately insult her, leave the shop and spend afterwards a sleepless night tossing on his bed, by turns angry and remorseful . Next day he would go to the shop and appeal for forgiveness.
读书笔记
是否公开
8
-
"别生我的气吧,"他说,"我也是出于无奈,因为我实在太喜欢你了。"
读书笔记
是否公开
8
-
‘Don’t be angry with me,’ he said. ‘I’m so awfully fond of you that I can’t help myself.’
读书笔记
是否公开
9
-
"总有一天你会闹得下不来台的,"她回答说。
读书笔记
是否公开
9
-
‘One of these days you’ll go too far,’ she answered.
He was anxious to come to her home in order that the greater intimacy should give him an advantage over the stray acquaintances she made during her working-hours; but she would not let him.
He suspected that her refusal was due only to a disinclination to let him see her aunt. Mildred had represented her as the widow of a professional man (that was her formula of distinction), and was uneasily conscious that the good woman could hardly be called distinguished . Philip imagined that she was in point of fact the widow of a small tradesman. He knew that Mildred was a snob . But he found no means by which he could indicate to her that he did not mind how common the aunt was.
Their worst quarrel took place one evening at dinner when she told him that a man had asked her to go to a play with him. Philip turned pale, and his face grew hard and stern.
读书笔记
是否公开
14
-
"你不会去吧?"
读书笔记
是否公开
14
-
‘You’re not going?’ he said.
读书笔记
是否公开
15
-
"干吗不去?他可是个体体面面的上等人呢。"
读书笔记
是否公开
15
-
‘Why shouldn’t I? He’s a very nice gentlemanly fellow.’
‘But that isn’t the same thing. I can’t always go about with you. Besides he’s asked me to fix my own day, and I’ll just go one evening when I’m not going out with you. It won’t make any difference to you.’
读书笔记
是否公开
18
-
"要是你还有点自爱之心,要是你还有点感激之情,那你说什么也不会想去的。"
读书笔记
是否公开
18
-
‘If you had any sense of decency , if you had any gratitude, you wouldn’t dream of going.’
‘You think I’m just good enough to stand you dinners and theatres when there’s no one else to do it, and when someone else turns up I can go to hell. Thank you, I’m about sick of being made a convenience.’
读书笔记
是否公开
36
-
"我可不愿让人用这种口吻来跟我说话。现在就请你瞧瞧,我是多么希罕你的这顿该死的晚饭!"
读书笔记
是否公开
36
-
‘I’m not going to be talked to like that by anyone. I’ll just show you how much I want your dirty dinner.’
She got up, put on her jacket, and walked quickly out of the restaurant. Philip sat on. He determined he would not move, but ten minutes afterwards he jumped in a cab and followed her. He guessed that she would take a ‘bus to Victoria, so that they would arrive about the same time. He saw her on the platform, escaped her notice, and went down to Herne Hill in the same train. He did not want to speak to her till she was on the way home and could not escape him.
读书笔记
是否公开
38
-
待她一转身,刚从亮如白昼、熙熙攘攘的大街拐人横街,他立刻赶了上去。
读书笔记
是否公开
38
-
As soon as she had turned out of the main street, brightly lit and noisy with traffic, he caught her up.
读书笔记
是否公开
39
-
"米尔德丽德,"他轻声呼唤。
读书笔记
是否公开
39
-
‘Mildred,’ he called.
读书笔记
是否公开
40
-
她只顾往前走,既不看他一眼,也不答理他一声。菲利普又唤了她一声,她这才收住脚步,转身面朝菲利普。
读书笔记
是否公开
40
-
She walked on and would neither look at him nor answer. He repeated her name. Then she stopped and faced him.
‘You never make allowances for me,’ he said. ‘It’s all very well to be jolly and amiable when you’re indifferent to anyone. It’s very hard when you’re as much in love as I am. Have mercy on me. I don’t mind that you don’t care for me. After all you can’t help it. I only want you to let me love you.’