Philip did not pass the examination in anatomy at the end of March. He and Dunsford had worked at the subject together on Philip’s skeleton, asking each other questions till both knew by heart every attachment and the meaning of every nodule and groove on the human bones; but in the examination room Philip was seized with panic, and failed to give right answers to questions from a sudden fear that they might be wrong. He knew he was ploughed and did not even trouble to go up to the building next day to see whether his number was up. The second failure put him definitely among the incompetent and idle men of his year.
He did not care much. He had other things to think of. He told himself that Mildred must have senses like anybody else, it was only a question of awakening them; he had theories about woman, the rip at heart, and thought that there must come a time with everyone when she would yield to persistence . It was a question of watching for the opportunity, keeping his temper, wearing her down with small attentions, taking advantage of the physical exhaustion which opened the heart to tenderness, making himself a refuge from the petty vexations of her work.
He talked to her of the relations between his friends in Paris and the fair ladies they admired. The life he described had a charm, an easy gaiety, in which was no grossness. Weaving into his own recollections the adventures of Mimi and Rodolphe, of Musette and the rest of them, he poured into Mildred’s ears a story of poverty made picturesque by song and laughter, of lawless love made romantic by beauty and youth. He never attacked her prejudices directly, but sought to combat them by the suggestion that they were suburban .
He never let himself be disturbed by her inattention, nor irritated by her indifference . He thought he had bored her. By an effort he made himself affable and entertaining; he never let himself be angry, he never asked for anything, he never complained, he never scolded. When she made engagements and broke them, he met her next day with a smiling face; when she excused herself, he said it did not matter. He never let her see that she pained him. He understood that his passionate grief had wearied her, and he took care to hide every sentiment which could be in the least degree troublesome. He was heroic.
Though she never mentioned the change, for she did not take any conscious notice of it, it affected her nevertheless: she became more confidential with him; she took her little grievances to him, and she always had some grievance against the manageress of the shop, one of her fellow waitresses, or her aunt; she was talkative enough now, and though she never said anything that was not trivial Philip was never tired of listening to her.
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6
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"只要你不死缠着向我求爱,我还真有点喜欢你呢,"有一次她对他这么说。
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6
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‘I like you when you don’t want to make love to me,’ she told him once.
He thought she must be beginning to care for him. Three months before the thought of an evening spent in conversation would have bored her to death. It was a fine day, and the spring added to Philip’s high spirits. He was content with very little now.
‘I say, won’t it be ripping when the summer comes along,’ he said, as they drove along on the top of a ‘bus to Soho—she had herself suggested that they should not be so extravagant as to go by cab. ‘We shall be able to spend every Sunday on the river. We’ll take our luncheon in a basket.’
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19
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她莞尔一笑,菲利普见了顿添一股勇气,一把握住她的手。她也无意抽回。
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19
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She smiled slightly, and he was encouraged to take her hand. She did not withdraw it.
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20
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"我真要说,你开始有点喜欢我了。"他满面春风。
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20
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‘I really think you’re beginning to like me a bit,’ he smiled.
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21
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"你真傻。明知道我喜欢你,要不我干吗跟你上这儿来呢?"
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21
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‘You ARE silly, you know I like you, or else I shouldn’t be here, should I?’
Philip, thinking her more enchanting than ever, gave her the menu, and she chose her favourite dishes. The range was small, and they had eaten many times all that the restaurant could provide. Philip was gay. He looked into her eyes, and he dwelt on every perfection of her pale cheek. When they had finished Mildred by way of exception took a cigarette. She smoked very seldom.
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25
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"我觉得女人抽烟叫人看着怪不顺眼的,"她说。
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25
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‘I don’t like to see a lady smoking,’ she said.
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26
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她迟疑了片刻,又接着说:
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26
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She hesitated a moment and then spoke .
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27
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"我要你今晚带我出来,又要你请我吃饭,你是否感到有点意外?"
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27
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‘Were you surprised, my asking you to take me out and give me a bit of dinner tonight?’
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28
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"我高兴还来不及呢。"
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28
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‘I was delighted.’
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29
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"我有话要对你说,菲利普。"
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29
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‘I’ve got something to say to you, Philip.’
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30
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他飞快地瞥了她一眼,心头猛地咯瞪一沉。不过他现在已老练多了。
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30
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He looked at her quickly, his heart sank, but he had trained himself well.
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31
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"往下说呀,"他脸上仍挂着微笑。
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31
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‘Well, fire away,’ he said, smiling.
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32
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"你不会傻呵呵地想不开吧?告诉你,我快要结婚了。"
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32
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‘You’re not going to be silly about it, are you? The fact is I’m going to get married.’
He could think of nothing else to say. He had considered the possibility often and had imagined to himself what he would do and say. He had suffered agonies when he thought of the despair he would suffer, he had thought of suicide, of the mad passion of anger that would seize him; but perhaps he had too completely anticipated the emotion he would experience, so that now he felt merely exhausted . He felt as one does in a serious illness when the vitality is so low that one is indifferent to the issue and wants only to be left alone.
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35
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"你知道我年纪一天天大了,"她说,"今年已经二十四岁,该有个归宿了。"
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35
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‘You see, I’m getting on,’ she said. ‘I’m twenty-four and it’s time I settled down.’
He was silent. He looked at the patronne sitting behind the counter, and his eye dwelt on a red feather one of the diners wore in her hat. Mildred was nettled .
‘I might, mightn’t I? I can hardly believe it’s true. I’ve dreamt it so often. It rather tickles me that I should have been so jolly glad that you asked me to take you out to dinner. Whom are you going to marry?’
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39
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"米勒,"她回答说,现出几分赧颜。
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39
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‘ Miller ,’ she answered, with a slight blush.
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40
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"米勒!"菲利普惊讶得失声叫了起来,"这几个月你一直没见到过他。"
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40
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‘Miller?’ cried Philip, astounded . ‘But you’ve not seen him for months.’