He began considering. He could not remember having done anything wrong; he had committed no evil act, but he had had evil thoughts. He had thought that all his present resolutions to marry Katusha and to give up his land were unachievable dreams; that he should be unable to bear it; that it was artificial, unnatural; and that he would have to go on living as he lived.
He had committed no evil action, but, what was far worse than an evil action, he had entertained evil thoughts whence all evil actions proceed. An evil action may not be repeated, and can be repented of; but evil thoughts generate all evil actions.
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4
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一种坏行为只能为其他坏行为开路;而坏思想却会拖着人顺着那条路一直往下滑。
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4
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An evil action only smooths the path for other evil acts; evil thoughts uncontrollably drag one along that path.
When Nekhludoff repeated in his mind the thoughts of the day before, he was surprised that he could for a moment have believed these thoughts. However new and difficult that which he had decided to do might be, he knew that it was the only possible way of life for him now, and however easy and natural it might have been to return to his former state, he knew that state to be death.
Yesterday’s temptation seemed like the feeling when one awakes from deep sleep, and, without feeling sleepy, wants to lie comfortably in bed a little longer, yet knows that it is time to rise and commence the glad and important work that awaits one.
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7
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今天是他在彼得堡逗留的最后一天。他一早就到瓦西里耶夫岛去看望舒斯托娃。
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7
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On that, his last day in Petersburg, he went in the morning to the Vasilievski Ostrov to see Shoustova.
Shoustova lived on the second floor, and having been shown the back stairs, Nekhludoff entered straight into the hot kitchen, which smelt strongly of food. An elderly woman, with turned-up sleeves, with an apron and spectacles, stood by the fire stirring something in a steaming pan.
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9
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“您找谁?”她从眼镜架上边瞅着来客,厉声问。
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9
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"Whom do you want?" she asked severely, looking at him over her spectacles.
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10
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不等聂赫留朵夫报名,那女人脸上就现出惊喜交集的神色。
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10
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Before Nekhludoff had time to answer, an expression of fright and joy appeared on her face.
"Oh, Prince!" she exclaimed, wiping her hands on her apron. "But why have you come the back way? Our Benefactor! I am her mother. They have nearly killed my little girl. You have saved us," she said, catching hold of Nekhludoff’s hand and trying to kiss it.
"I went to see you yesterday. My sister asked me to. She is here. This way, this way, please," said Shoustova’s mother, as she led the way through a narrow door, and a dark passage, arranging her hair and pulling at her tucked-up skirt. "My sister’s name is Kornilova. You must have heard of her," she added, stopping before a closed door. "She was mixed up in a political affair. An extremely clever woman!"
Shoustova’s mother opened the door and showed Nekhludoff into a little room where on a sofa with a table before it sat a plump, short girl with fair hair that curled round her pale, round face, which was very like her mother’s. She had a striped cotton blouse on.
Opposite her, in an armchair, leaning forward, so that he was nearly bent double, sat a young fellow with a slight, black beard and moustaches.
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15
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“丽达,聂赫留朵夫公爵来了,他就是……”
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15
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"Lydia, Prince Nekhludoff!" he said.
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16
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脸色苍白的姑娘紧张地跳起来,把一绺从耳朵后面披下来的头发撩回去,睁着她那双灰色的大眼睛瞪前来客。
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16
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The pale girl jumped up, nervously pushing back a lock of hair behind her ear, and gazing at the newcomer with a frightened look in her large, grey eyes.
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17
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“那么,你就是薇拉托我营救的那个危险女人吗?”聂赫留朵夫说,笑眯眯地向她伸出手来。
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17
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"So you are that dangerous woman whom Vera Doukhova wished me to intercede for?" Nekhludoff asked, with a smile.
"Yes, I am," said Lydia Shoustova, her broad, kind, child-like smile disclosing a row of beautiful teeth. "It was aunt who was so anxious to see you. Aunt!" she called out, in a pleasant, tender voice through a door.
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19
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“薇拉因为您被捕心里很难过,”聂赫留朵夫说。
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19
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"Your imprisonment grieved Vera Doukhova very much," said Nekhludoff.
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20
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“请坐,或者这儿坐舒服些,”丽达指着青年刚才坐过的那把破沙发说。
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20
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"Take a seat here, or better here," said Shoustova, pointing to the battered easy-chair from which the young man had just risen.
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21
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“这是我的表哥扎哈罗夫,”她发觉聂赫留朵夫打量那青年的目光,说。
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21
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"My cousin, Zakharov," she said, noticing that Nekhludoff looked at the young man.
The young man greeted the visitor with a smile as kindly as Shoustova’s, and when Nekhludoff sat down he brought himself another chair, and sat by his side. A fair-haired schoolboy of about 10 also came into the room and silently sat down on the window-sill.
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23
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“薇拉是我姨妈的好朋友,可我简直不认识她,”丽达说。
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23
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"Vera Doukhova is a great friend of my aunt’s, but I hardly know her," said Shoustova.
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24
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这时从隔壁房间里进来一个女人,生有一张讨人喜欢的聪明的脸,身穿白色短上衣,腰里束一条皮带。
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24
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Then a woman with a very pleasant face, with a white blouse and leather belt, came in from the next room.
"How do you do? Thanks for coming," she began as soon as she had taken the place next Shoustova’s on the sofa."Well, and how is Vera. You have seen her? How does she bear her fate?"
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26
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“她不抱怨,”聂赫留朵夫说,“她说她的自我感觉好得不能再好了。”
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26
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"She does not complain," said Nekhludoff. "She says she feels perfectly happy."’
"Ah, that’s like Vera. I know her," said the aunt, smiling and shaking her head. "One must know her. She has a fine character. Everything for others; nothing for herself."
"No, she asked nothing for herself, but only seemed concerned about your niece. What seemed to trouble her most was, as she said, that your niece was imprisoned for nothing."
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29
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“确实是这样,”姨妈说,“这事真糟糕!说实在的,她是在为我受罪。”
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29
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"Yes, that’s true," said the aunt. "It is a dreadful business. She suffered, in reality, because of me."
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30
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“根本不是的,姨妈!”丽达说。“即使您没有托我,我也会保管那些文件的。”
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30
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"Not at all, aunt. I should have taken the papers without you all the same."
"Allow me to know better," said the aunt. "You see," she went on to Nekhludoff, "it all happened because a certain person asked me to keep his papers for a time, and I, having no house at the time, brought them to her. And that very night the police searched her room and took her and the papers, and have kept her up to now, demanding that she should say from whom she had them."
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32
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“我始终没有讲出来,”丽达慌忙说,神经质地撩一下头发,虽然那绺头发并不碍她的事。
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32
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"But I never told them," said Shoustova quickly, pulling nervously at a lock that was not even out of place.
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33
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“我又没有说你讲出来,”姨妈反驳说。
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33
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"I never said you did" answered the aunt.
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34
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“他们逮捕了米丁,那也不是我把他供出来的,”丽达说,脸涨得通红,心神不宁地向四下里打量着。
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34
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"If they took Mitin up it was certainly not through me," said Shoustova, blushing, and looking round uneasily.
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35
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“这事你不用提了,丽达,”做母亲的说。
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35
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"Don’t speak about it, Lydia dear," said her mother.
"Not at all---Leave me alone, mamma. I did not tell, I only kept quiet. When he examined me about Mitin and about aunt, I said nothing, and told him I would not answer.""Then this--Petrov--"
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39
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“彼得罗夫是个暗探,是个宪兵,是个大混蛋,”姨妈插嘴给聂赫留朵夫解释说。
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39
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"Petrov is a spy, a gendarme, and a blackguard," put in the aunt, to explain her niece’s words to Nekhludoff.
"Then he began persuading," continued Shoustova, excitedly and hurriedly. "’Anything you tell me,’ he said, ’can harm no one; on the contrary, if you tell me, we may be able to set free innocent people whom we may be uselessly tormenting.’ Well, I still said I would not tell. Then he said, ’All right, don’t tell, but do not deny what I am going to say.’ And he named Mitin."
"Yes, but I didn’t know. I think, ’There, now, I have betrayed him.’ I walk and walk up and down from wall to wall, and cannot help thinking. I think, ’I have betrayed him.’ I lie down and cover myself up, and hear something whispering, ’Betrayed! betrayed Mitin! Mitin betrayed!’
I know it is an hallucination, but cannot help listening. I wish to fall asleep, I cannot. I wish not to think, and cannot cease. That is terrible!" and as Shoustova spoke she got more and more excited, and twisted and untwisted the lock of hair round her finger.