The disappointment was keen. He knew her mood, the look of her face, when she subscribed herself at length thus. But whatever her mood he could not say she was wrong in her view. He replied: I acquiesce. You are right. It is a lesson in renunciation which I suppose I ought to learn at this season.
He despatched the note on Easter Eve, and there seemed a finality in their decisions. But other forces and laws than theirs were in operation. On Easter Monday morning he received a message from the Widow Edlin, whom he had directed to telegraph if anything serious happened: Your aunt is sinking. Come at once.
He threw down his tools and went. Three and a half hours later he was crossing the downs about Marygreen, and presently plunged into the concave field across which the short cut was made to the village. As he ascended on the other side a labouring man, who had been watching his approach from a gate across the path, moved uneasily, and prepared to speak. "I can see in his face that she is dead," said Jude. "Poor Aunt Drusilla!"
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6
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果然不出所料,是艾林太太派他先来报信的。
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6
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It was as he had supposed, and Mrs. Edlin had sent out the man to break the news to him.
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7
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“她可再也认不出来你啦。她躺在那儿像个玻璃眼珠的洋娃娃;你就没给她送终也无所谓啦。”
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7
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"She wouldn’t have knowed ’ee. She lay like a doll wi’ glass eyes; so it didn’t matter that you wasn’t here," said he.
Jude went on to the house, and in the afternoon, when everything was done, and the layers-out had finished their beer, and gone, he sat down alone in the silent place. It was absolutely necessary to communicate with Sue, though two or three days earlier they had agreed to mutual severance. He wrote in the briefest terms:
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9
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多喜姑婆已去,似甚突然。礼拜五下午安葬。
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9
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Aunt Drusilla is dead, having been taken almost suddenly. The funeral is on Friday afternoon.
He remained in and about Marygreen through the intervening days, went out on Friday morning to see that the grave was finished, and wondered if Sue would come. She had not written, and that seemed to signify rather that she would come than that she would not.
Having timed her by her only possible train, he locked the door about mid-day, and crossed the hollow field to the verge of the upland by the Brown House, where he stood and looked over the vast prospect northwards, and over the nearer landscape in which Alfredston stood. Two miles behind it a jet of white steam was travelling from the left to the right of the picture.
There was a long time to wait, even now, till he would know if she had arrived. He did wait, however, and at last a small hired vehicle pulled up at the bottom of the hill, and a person alighted, the conveyance going back, while the passenger began ascending the hill.
He knew her; and she looked so slender to-day that it seemed as if she might be crushed in the intensity of a too passionate embrace-- such as it was not for him to give. Two-thirds of the way up her head suddenly took a solicitouspoise, and he knew that she had at that moment recognized him. Her face soon began a pensive smile, which lasted till, having descended a little way, he met her.
With the elusiveness of her curious double nature, however, Sue did not stand still for any further greeting, though it wanted some time to the burial. A pathos so unusually compounded as that which attached to this hour was unlikely to repeat itself for years, if ever, and Jude would have paused, and meditated, and conversed. But Sue either saw it not at all, or, seeing it more than he, would not allow herself to feel it.
The sad and simple ceremony was soon over, their progress to the church being almost at a trot, the bustling undertaker having a more important funeral an hour later, three miles off. Drusilla was put into the new ground, quite away from her ancestors. Sue and Jude had gone side by side to the grave, and now sat down to tea in the familiar house; their lives united at least in this last attention to the dead.
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18
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“你说她这辈子自始至终反对结婚,是不是这样?”她咕哝着。
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18
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"She was opposed to marriage, from first to last, you say?" murmured Sue.
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19
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“是这样。特别指着咱们家的人说的。”
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19
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"Yes. Particularly for members of our family."
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20
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她的眼光同他的对上了,有一会儿盯着他没移开。
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20
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Her eyes met his, and remained on him awhile.
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21
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“咱们家怪丧气的,裘德,你是不是这么看的?”
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21
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"We are rather a sad family, don’t you think, Jude?"
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22
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“她说咱们家的人都是些坏丈夫、坏妻子。的的确确,咱们都搞成倒霉样儿,不管怎么说,我就得算一个!”
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22
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"She said we made bad husbands and wives. Certainly we make unhappy ones. At all events, I do, for one!"
Sue was silent. "Is it wrong, Jude," she said with a tentative tremor, "for a husband or wife to tell a third person that they are unhappy in their marriage? If a marriage ceremony is a religious thing, it is possibly wrong; but if it is only a sordid contract, based on material convenience in householding, rating, and taxing, and the inheritance of land and money by children, making it necessary that the male parent should be known--which it seems to be-- why surely a person may say, even proclaim upon the housetops, that it hurts and grieves him or her?"
"But even apart from that? Wouldn’t the woman, for example, be very bad-natured if she didn’t like to live with her husband; merely"--her voice undulated, and he guessed things--"merely because she had a personal feeling against it-- a physical objection--a fastidiousness, or whatever it may be called--although she might respect and be grateful to him? I am merely putting a case. Ought she to try to overcome her pruderies?"
Jude threw a troubled look at her. He said, looking away: "It would be just one of those cases in which my experiences go contrary to my dogmas. Speaking as an order-loving man-- which I hope I am, though I fear I am not--I should say, yes. Speaking from experience and unbiased nature, I should say, no.... Sue, I believe you are not happy!"
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29
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“我当然快活!”她立刻顶回去。“一个女人跟她自由选择的丈夫结婚才八个礼拜,怎么会不快活?”
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29
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"Of course I am!" she contradicted. "How can a woman be unhappy who has only been married eight weeks to a man she chose freely?"
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30
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“‘自由选择’!”
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30
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"’Chose freely!’"
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31
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“你重复一下是什么意思?……不过我得坐六点钟火车回去啦。我看你还要呆在这儿吧?”
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31
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"Why do you repeat it? ... But I have to go back by the six o’clock train. You will be staying on here, I suppose?"
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32
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“还得呆几天,把姑婆的事了结了再说。房子现在让出去了。我陪你到车站好不好?”
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32
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"For a few days to wind up Aunt’s affairs. This house is gone now. Shall I go to the train with you?"
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33
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苏笑笑,表示不愿意。“我看不必啦。你陪我走段路就可以啦。”
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33
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A little laugh of objection came from Sue. "I think not. You may come part of the way."
"But stop--you can’t go to-night! That train won’t take you to Shaston. You must stay and go back to-morrow. Mrs. Edlin has plenty of room, if you don’t like to stay here?"
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35
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“挺好的。”她说,有点三心两意的。“我没跟他说一定回去。”
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35
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"Very well," she said dubiously. "I didn’t tell him I would come for certain."
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36
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裘德到隔壁寡妇家去了一下,把这件事跟她说了,几分钟后回来,又坐下来。
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36
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Jude went to the widow’s house adjoining, to let her know; and returning in a few minutes sat down again.
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37
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“苏呀,咱们俩怎么落到现在这样可怕的处境啊——真是可怕啊!”他突如其来地说。
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37
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"It is horrible how we are circumstanced, Sue--horrible!" he said abruptly, with his eyes bent to the floor.
"I can’t tell you all my part of the gloom. Your part is that you ought not to have married him. I saw it before you had done it, but I thought I mustn’t interfere. I was wrong. I ought to have!"
"Perhaps it was too prudish," she said repentantly. "Only I have fancied it was a sort of trick of ours-- too frequent perhaps. There, you may hold it as much as you like. Is that good of me?"