通译双语文库:无名的裘德Part 5 第3章

1

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她到家时候，裘德正在门口等她去办结婚的头道手续。她抓紧了他的胳臂，一路走着，默默无语，凡属真正同心相契都是这样。他看出来她有心事，忍住了没问她。

1

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WHEN Sue reached home Jude was awaiting her at the door to take the initial step towards their marriage. She clasped his arm, and they went along silently together, as true comrades oft-times do. He saw that she was preoccupied, and forbore to question her.

2

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“哦，裘德——我跟她谈过了。”她终于开口了。“我真后悔跟她谈啊！话说回来，这倒也不错，因为她提醒了我不少事。”

2

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"Oh Jude--I’ve been talking to her," she said at last. "I wish I hadn’t! And yet it is best to be reminded of things."

3

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“我希望她对你客客气气的。”

3

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"I hope she was civil."

4

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“她倒是客客气气。——我可没法不喜欢她，还真有点喜欢哪！她还不能算尖酸刻薄；想不到她的困难一下子全解决了，我倒替她高兴。”她接着说阿拉贝拉的男人已经电召她回家，这样她就恢复原来的地位了。

4

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"Yes. I--I can’t help liking her--just a little bit! She’s not an ungenerous nature; and I am so glad her difficulties have all suddenly ended." She explained how Arabella had been summoned back, and would be enabled to retrieve her position.

5

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“我刚才要提的，是咱们俩的老问题。阿拉贝拉跟我说的那一套更叫我对合法婚姻这个制度觉得恶心到无以复加了 ——这是个专为把男人弄上手的圈套，我一想到它真要吐出来。我真后悔答应你今儿早上去公布结婚启事。”

5

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"I was referring to our old question. What Arabella has been saying to me has made me feel more than ever how hopelessly vulgar an institution legal marriage is-- a sort of trap to catch a man--I can’t bear to think of it. I wish I hadn’t promised to let you put up the banns this morning!"

6

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“哎，你别管我好啦。我什么时候都行。我还当你这会儿要急着把它办完哪。”

6

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"Oh, don’t mind me. Any time will do for me. I thought you might like to get it over quickly, now."

7

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“说实在的，我这会儿一点也不比从前急。这事要是跟别的男人，我大概有点急吧；按咱们两家人来说，固然说不上好品德，亲爱的，可是其中有一点，我看我拿得稳，那就是忠贞不二，所以我心里一点也不怕把你给丢了，现在我实实在在是你的人了，你也实实在在是我的人了。实际上，我这会儿比以前心里更踏实了，因为我对里查无愧于心啦，他这会儿也有行动自由的权利了。我从前老觉着咱们欺骗他。”

7

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"Indeed, I don’t feel any more anxious now than I did before. Perhaps with any other man I might be a little anxious; but among the very few virtues possessed by your family and mine, dear, I think I may set staunchness. So I am not a bit frightened about losing you, now I really am yours and you really are mine. In fact, I am easier in my mind than I was, for my conscience is clear about Richard, who now has a right to his freedom. I felt we were deceiving him before."

8

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“苏啊，每逢你说这样的话，你哪是个纯粹基督教国家的信徒，倒真是位由什么古老灿烂的文明陶冶出来的女性，这样的女人，我从前钻研经典、一事无成的那段时间，时常在书里见到。一到这样的时候，我就简直等着你说出来，你刚刚跟一位在圣路碰见的朋友，一直议论着屋大维亚或利维亚的消息；要么就是一直听阿斯帕夏的雄辩，或是观赏普拉克希泰勒斯在凿刻最新的维纳斯像，而芙利尼却抱怨她当模特，摆姿势都腻啦。”

8

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"Sue, you seem when you are like this to be one of the women of some grand old civilization, whom I used to read about in my bygone, wasted, classical days, rather than a denizen of a mere Christian country. I almost expect you to say at these times that you have just been talking to some friend whom you met in the Via Sacra, about the latest news of Octavia or Livia; or have been listening to Aspasia’s eloquence, or have been watching Praxiteles chiselling away at his latest Venus, while Phryne made complaint that she was tired of posing."

9

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说着说着他们已经到了教区办事员的住宅。她的情人朝门口走去，她退后一步站住。他刚抬手要敲门，苏说：“裘德！”

9

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They had now reached the house of the parish clerk. Sue stood back, while her lover went up to the door. His hand was raised to knock when she said: "Jude!"

10

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他转过身来看。

10

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He looked round.

11

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“等一下，行吗？”

11

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"Wait a minute, would you mind?"

12

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他回到她身边。

12

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He came back to her.

13

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“咱们再考虑考虑吧。”她畏怯地说。“有个晚上我做了那么个噩梦！……再说阿拉贝拉——”

13

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"Just let us think," she said timidly. "I had such a horrid dream one night! ... And Arabella----"

14

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“阿拉贝拉跟你说了什么呀？”

14

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"What did Arabella say to you?" he asked

15

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“哦，她说人要是结了婚，给绑到一块儿，男人揍你的话，你就好用法律治他——两个人吵起架来，该怎么办就怎么办……裘德，你想过没有，你要是一定靠法律得到我，那咱们以后还会不会跟这会儿一样快乐呢？咱们家的男男女女，要是干什么都凭他们高兴，对人也还度量大，可谁要是硬逼他们干，他们是决不买账。一有法律规定的义务就变得蛮不讲理的那种态度，难道你就不惧怕吗？爱的激情的真谛在于奉献，难道你没想到那种态度会把它扼杀吗？”

15

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"Oh, she said that when people were tied up you could get the law of a man better if he beat you--and how when couples quarrelled.... Jude, do you think that when you must have me with you by law, we shall be so happy as we are now? The men and women of our family are very generous when everything depends upon their goodwill, but they always kick against compulsion. Don’t you dread the attitude that insensibly arises out of legal obligation? Don’t you think it is destructive to a passion whose essence is its gratuitousness?"

16

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“哎呀，亲爱的，你说得前途这么危险，叫我也心惊肉跳啦！好吧，咱们就回去再考虑考虑。”

16

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"Upon my word, love, you are beginning to frighten me, too, with all this foreboding! Well, let’s go back and think it over."

17

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她脸上一下子开朗了。“是呀——咱们真得考虑考虑！”她说。他们离开办事员家门口，往家走的路上，苏一手挽着他胳臂，一边嘴里哼哼着：

17

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Her face brightened. "Yes--so we will!" said she. And they turned from the clerk’s door, Sue taking his arm and murmuring as they walked on homeward:

18

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你能叫蜜蜂不花丛盘旋，或者叫斑鸠颈上不色彩斑烂？你没法办！你也没法叫不自由的爱情……

18

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Can you keep the bee from ranging, Or the ring-dove s neck from changing? No! Nor fetter’d love ...

19

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他们考虑了，不如说暂时撂开了。他们确实把结婚行动推迟下去，似乎继续在梦中乐园中生活着。又过了两三个礼拜，事情仍然毫无进展。奥尔布里肯教堂的会众没一回听见过宣布他们的结婚启事。

19

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They thought it over, or postponed thinking. Certainly they postponed action, and seemed to live on in a dreamy paradise. At the end of a fortnight or three weeks matters remained unadvanced, and no banns were announced to the ears of any Aldbrickham congregation.

20

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正当他们一再推延，有一天早饭前，阿拉贝拉的一封信和一份报纸寄到了。裘德一看笔迹，就上楼到苏的房间告诉她，她穿好衣服就跑下来了。她打开报纸，裘德拆开信。她看了一眼报，就递给他，还指着上面一段；但是裘德正聚精会神看信，没立刻转过头来看。

20

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Whilst they were postponing and postponing thus a letter and a newspaper arrived before breakfast one morning from Arabella. Seeing the handwriting Jude went up to Sue’s room and told her, and as soon as she was dressed she hastened down. Sue opened the newspaper; Jude the letter. After glancing at the paper she held across the first page to him with her finger on a paragraph; but he was so absorbed in his letter that he did not turn awhile.

21

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“瞧哇！”她说。

21

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"Look!" said she.

22

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他把那段看了。这份报纸只在伦敦南区流通，上面有条广告打了记号，是滑铁卢路圣约翰教堂一则简短结婚通告，当事人名字是‘卡特莱一邓恩”；阿拉贝拉同酒馆老板结为夫妻。

22

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He looked and read. The paper was one that circulated in South London only, and the marked advertisement was simply the announcement of a marriage at St. John’s Church, Waterloo Road, under the names, "CARTLETT--DONN"; the united pair being Arabella and the inn-keeper.

23

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“好啦，总算天从人愿啦。”苏开心样儿说。“不过他们办了以后，咱们再接着办，未免透着下一等啦，可我还是高兴——不管怎么着，别说她有什么过错，我看她这会儿总算有个靠山了。咱们现在能替她这么想，总比替她担心好多了。也许我该写封信问问里查他现在生活怎么样，是吧？”

23

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"Well, it is satisfactory," said Sue complacently. "Though, after this, it seems rather low to do likewise, and I am glad. However, she is provided for now in a way, I suppose, whatever her faults, poor thing. It is nicer that we are able to think that, than to be uneasy about her. I ought, too, to write to Richard and ask him how he is getting on, perhaps?"

24

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但是裘德的注意力还是集中在信上。他把公告看了一眼之后就心烦意乱地说：“你听听这封信怎么说吧。这可叫我怎么说、怎么办呢？”

24

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But Jude’s attention was still absorbed. Having merely glanced at the announcement he said in a disturbed voice: "Listen to this letter. What shall I say or do?"

25

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亲爱的裘德（称你为福来先生显得生分，我不想这样），我今天给你寄去一份报，你看了那个有效力的文件，就知道我上礼拜二又跟卡特莱结了婚。事情最后算办得干净利落，叫人称心。不过我这信特别要详细写一件个人私事，这我本来上回到奥尔布里肯时候就想告诉你的。

25

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DEAR JUDE (I won’t be so distant as to call you Mr. Fawley),-- I send to-day a newspaper, from which useful document you will learn that I was married over again to Cartlett last Tuesday. So that business is settled right and tight at last. But what I write about more particular is that private affair I wanted to speak to you on when I came down to Aldbrickham.

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当时我也不好跟你的女朋友说。再说我总想亲口跟你说，要比写信强得多。裘德，有件事我以前一直没跟你提过，咱们结婚以后我生过一个孩子，是在我离开你八个月之后，跟我父母住在悉尼时候生的，这很容易证明。

26

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I couldn’t very well tell it to your lady friend, and should much have liked to let you know it by word of mouth, as I could have explained better than by letter. The fact is, Jude, that, though I have never informed you before, there was a boy born of our marriage, eight months after I left you, when I was at Sydney, living with my father and mother. All that is easily provable.

27

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我还没想到会有这样的事，就跟你散了，到了异乡，再说咱们又吵得厉害，我当时想写信给你说生孩子的事不合适。我正忙着找个好差使，孩子就由我父母带了，他一直跟他们在一块儿。我在基督堂碰见你，没提这事，就是这个道理，打离婚官司也没提。

27

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As I had separated from you before I thought such a thing was going to happen, and I was over there, and our quarrel had been sharp, I did not think it convenient to write about the birth. I was then looking out for a good situation, so my parents took the child, and he has been with them ever since. That was why I did not mention it when I met you in Christminster, nor at the law proceedings.

28

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他现在到了懂事的年纪了，我父母最近来信说，他们在那地方的日子挺艰难，我已经在这地方安居乐业了，他们认为既然他父母都在，他们就不想再让这孩子拖累了。我本该留他在这儿跟我呆一阵子，不过他太小，在酒吧没用，再过多少年也还是用不上，卡特莱自然嫌他碍事。

28

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He is now of an intelligent age, of course, and my mother and father have lately written to say that, as they have rather a hard struggle over there, and I am settled comfortably here, they don’t see why they should be encumbered with the child any longer, his parents being alive. I would have him with me here in a moment, but he is not old enough to be of any use in the bar nor will be for years and years, and naturally Cartlett might think him in the way.

29

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可是他们有几个朋友正好回乡，就托他们把他顺路带到我这儿来，所以我只好求你在他到了之后收留他，因为我实在拿他没法办。按法律他是你的孩子，这我可以正正经经起誓。要是有人说他不是你的，你替我骂他下地狱割舌头。不管我从前、以后怎么样，从结婚到我走这一段，反正我没做什么见不起人的事，我至今还是你的

29

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They have, however, packed him off to me in charge of some friends who happened to be coming home, and I must ask you to take him when he arrives, for I don’t know what to do with him. He is lawfully yours, that I solemnly swear. If anybody says he isn’t, call them brimstone liars, for my sake. Whatever I may have done before or afterwards, I was honest to you from the time we were married till I went away, and I remain, yours, &c.,

30

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苏听了大惊失色。‘你怎么办哪，亲爱的？”她有气无力地问。

30

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Sue’s look was one of dismay. "What will you do, dear?" she asked faintly.

31

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裘德没回答，苏焦急地盯着他，喘粗气。

31

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Jude did not reply, and Sue watched him anxiously, with heavy breaths.

32

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“这一手可真够厉害！”他说，声音很低。“这件事大概不假！我现在也没法弄明白。要是他生下来的日子真跟她说的一样，那就毫无疑问是我的孩子了。我弄不通她干吗在基督堂碰到我时候没说，那晚上到这儿来也不说！……啊——我想起来啦，当时她说了，要是我跟她还有机会凑在一块儿，她就想把心里存的事跟我说说。”

32

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"It hits me hard!" said he in an under-voice. "It MAY be true! I can’t make it out. Certainly, if his birth was exactly when she says, he’s mine. I cannot think why she didn’t tell me when I met her at Christminster, and came on here that evening with her! ... Ah-- I do remember now that she said something about having a thing on her mind that she would like me to know, if ever we lived together again."

33

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“这孩子大概谁也不要啦！”苏说，泪汪汪的。

33

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"The poor child seems to be wanted by nobody!" Sue replied, and her eyes filled.

34

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裘德这时恢复了镇静。“是我的也好，不是我的也好，这孩子以后对人世该怎么想哪！”他说。 “我一定要说，只要我日子过得还宽裕，我才不问他究竟是谁的孩子呢。我要带他，把他抚养成人。至于说追问他老子娘是谁，那才卑鄙呢，管它干什么？要是你认真想想，一个孩子究竟是不是你的血统，又有多大意思？

34

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Jude had by this time come to himself. "What a view of life he must have, mine or not mine!" he said. "I must say that, if I were better off, I should not stop for a moment to think whose he might be. I would take him and bring him up. The beggarly question of parentage--what is it, after all? What does it matter, when you come to think of it, whether a child is yours by blood or not?

35

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咱们这个时代所有的孩子，整个来说都是这个时代咱们所有大人的孩子，都要咱们来共同照看。父母溺爱自个儿的孩子，还厌弃别的孩子，这就跟阶级感情、爱国心和灵魂自救说，还有别的德性，骨子里都是排斥异己，惟我独尊的下贱思想。”

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All the little ones of our time are collectively the children of us adults of the time, and entitled to our general care. That excessive regard of parents for their own children, and their dislike of other people’s, is, like class-feeling, patriotism, save-your-own-soul-ism, and other virtues, a mean exclusiveness at bottom."

36

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苏一下子跳起来，怀着满腔的敬佩之忧，热烈地吻他，“对，对——一点不错，最亲爱的！咱们要把他接来，要是他不是你的孩子就更好。我真希望他不是呢——当然我这么想不大应该！他要是真不是，我非常愿意咱们收留他，认他做干儿子。”

36

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Sue jumped up and kissed Jude with passionate devotion. "Yes--so it is, dearest! And we’ll have him here! And if he isn’t yours it makes it all the better. I do hope he isn’t--though perhaps I ought not to feel quite that! If he isn’t, I should like so much for us to have him as an adopted child!"

37

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“好啦，你想怎么办就怎么办，反正你高兴就行，我的与众不同的小同志！”他说。“我就是想着，无论如何，也不愿意让这个不幸的孩子丢下没人管。你想想看吧，他在那个兰贝斯酒馆跟着一个不想要他的妈，实际上他以前就没见过的妈，还有个根本不认他的后爹，他在那儿过的是什么日子，该受什么恶劣的影响？‘愿我生的那日和说我怀了男胎的那夜都火没！’这就是这孩子——我这孩子，用不着多久就要说的话啊！”

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"Well, you must assume about him what is most pleasing to you, my curious little comrade!" he said. "I feel that, anyhow, I don’t like to leave the unfortunate little fellow to neglect. Just think of his life in a Lambeth pothouse, and all its evil influences, with a parent who doesn’t want him, and has, indeed, hardly seen him, and a stepfather who doesn’t know him. ’Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived!’ That’s what the boy--my boy, perhaps, will find himself saying before long!"

38

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“哦，不，不，他不会这样说！”

38

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"Oh no!"

39

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“我既然当初是离婚原告，我想我完全有权要求对他监护。”

39

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"As I was the petitioner, I am really entitled to his custody, I suppose."

40

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“不管有没有监护权，咱们一定得把他收下来。我看就这么办。我一定尽力而为，配当他妈，咱们总还养得起他。我要多干活儿。我在想他倒是什么时候来呀？”

40

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"Whether or no, we must have him. I see that. I’ll do the best I can to be a mother to him, and we can afford to keep him somehow. I’ll work harder. I wonder when he’ll arrive?"

41

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“我看就几个礼拜的事吧。”

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42

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“希望如此——裘德，咱们什么时候有勇气结婚哪？”

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43

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“你什么时候有勇气，我看我就有。这全看你，亲爱的。只要你一开口，一切就万事大吉。”

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44

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“在孩子到以前办？”

44

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"Before the boy comes?"

45

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“当然喽！”

45

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"Certainly."

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“也许这么一来，孩子觉着真是到了家里啦。”她嘟囔着。

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47

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裘德当下写了封信，纯属官样文章，信中要求孩子一抵达英国，务必立即送交他们，对于阿拉贝拉那个惊人消息，不置一词；对孩子的父亲方面的亲缘，不表意见；至于他若老早知有此事，对她的态度有无变化，更是只字不提。

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48

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第二天晚上，预定十点钟左右到达奥尔布里肯车站的下行列车的一个昏暗的三等车箱里，坐着个瘦小苍白的小孩子。他的两只大眼睛透着惊恐不安，脖子上围着白羊毛围巾，用根普通细绳子系着一把钥匙，就挂在围巾上头，灯光偶然照得钥匙闪亮，引人注意。

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49

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他的半票掖在帽箍里头。他两眼盯住对面座位的靠背几乎一动没动，即便火车到了一个站头，乘务员报站名，他也始终不转过来对车窗那边看。另外一个座位上坐着三两个旅客，其中一个是个做工的女人，手把着放在膝头上的篮子，里头装着一只小花猫。

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50

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她有时打开盖子，小猫就伸出头来，做出逗乐的怪样子。别的旅客看了都哈哈大笑，惟独那个挂着钥匙和掖着车票的孩子不笑，睁着又圆又大的眼睛瞧着小猫，似乎不出声地说，“人发笑出自误解，正确看待，人间没有令人发笑的事。”

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列车有时要停靠一下，这时乘务员就到车厢巡视，看见那孩子就说，‘乖啊，好小子。你的箱子放在行李车上，准保险，放心吧。”孩子就呆里八气地说声“是”，想笑笑，可没笑起来。

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他天生老相，偏又把他装扮成如花年少，无奈装扮得太不高明，不免时时露出本来面目。仿佛太古混沌、天崩地裂、排山倒海的惊涛骇浪不时把这生命犹是含苞待放的孩子托得高高地亮相，这时他的脸就映现浩淼无垠、包含古今的时光巨浸的印痕，而他对目击身历的，却是神情木然，无动于衷。

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别的旅客接二连三闭上了眼睛，连小花猫也因在自己小天地里玩腻了，蜷卧在篮子里，但那孩子却依然是老样子。不过这会儿他好像倍加警醒，犹如一个受了奴役、遭到摧残、连身子也缩小了的神祗，乖乖坐着，一动不动，目不转睛盯着自己的旅伴，似乎看到的不是他们的具体的躯体，而是整个混成一团的精气。

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他就是阿拉贝拉的男孩儿。因为她一向粗心大意，所以她把该给裘德的信一直拖到了孩子在英国上陆的前夕，这时她绝对不能耽误，这才写了那封信，实际上她早几个礼拜明知孩子要到了，而且在信里也说了实话，她到奥尔布里肯找裘德主要是向他明说他原来就有这么个孩子存在，并且要回到裘德家里。

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就在她收到前夫回信那天下午某个时间，孩子到了伦敦码头，受托带他回来的那家人把他送上一辆到兰贝斯的马车，跟车夫讲明赶到他母亲的住宅，然后跟他说了再见，就走了。

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他到了三觞斋，阿拉贝拉一瞧他那份表情，就情不自禁地说：“你可真跟我猜的没两样。”她让他美美吃了一顿，给了点钱；天已向晚，她乘着卡特莱没在家，见不到他，赶紧把他送上下一班火车，让他前往裘德那儿。

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火车到了奥尔布里肯，孩子一个人呆在空空的月台上，旁边是他的箱子。收票员收了他的票，想想觉得有什么不对劲，就问他这么晚一个人上哪儿去。

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“到清泉街。”小家伙很有把握地说。

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“唉，那段路可长哪；差不多快到乡下啦；人家都睡觉啦。”

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“我非去不可。”

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“你带着箱子，得找辆马车。”

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“不找，我要走着去。”

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“那好吧；你顶好把箱子先放在这儿，回头再叫人来取就得了。这条路一半有公共马车，剩下一半你就得走啦。”

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“我不怕。”

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“你的朋友怎么没来接你？”

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“我看他们不知道我来。”

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“你朋友是谁呀？”

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“妈不让我说。”

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“那我只好帮你看看箱子了。你就走吧，越快越好。”

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那孩子没再说什么，出了月台，走到街上；他朝周围望望，没看到有人跟着他，也没看到有人注意他。走了一段路之后，他向人打听他要去的那条街怎么走。人家跟他说一直走，到了近郊就找到了。

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那孩子走路是又稳当又呆板的蠕动样子，没有常人一步步走的特点——好似水波、轻风、浮云在游动。他照人家说的方向前进，目不斜视，心无旁骛。一望而知那孩子对人生的观感与当地的孩子大异其趣。

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大凡孩子们起初先看到细节，然后扩充到全体；先接触到具体的东西，然后逐渐了解到具有普遍意义的性质。那孩子却好像一开始就看到生活中事物的一般性，绝不费心去注意任何特殊性。房子也好，柳树也好，远处茫茫田野也好，他显然没把它们看成砖砌的住宅、截了顶梢的柳树和绿油油的牧场，而是抽象化了的人类的居处、一般的植物和广袤的昏黑一大片。

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他找到通到小巷的那条路，然后敲了敲裘德家的门。裘德刚睡下，苏本来要进隔壁自己的卧室，一听有人敲门，就下楼了。

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“爸爸住这儿吗？”孩子问。

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“你爸爸是谁呀？”

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“福来先生，就是这个姓。”

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她跑上去，到裘德屋里，告诉他这件事。他迫不及待地下了楼，但是她却心急如焚，觉得他还是太慢。

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“这是怎么回事——怎么这么快？”裘德一下来，她就问。

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她把孩子上下左右足足打量了一番，突然走开，进了小起坐室。裘德把孩子举得跟他一般高，既爱怜又郁闷地仔细端详，告诉他，他们要是知道他来得这么快，就去接他了；然后把他暂时放在椅子上。他去找苏，知道孩子到来又触动了她的极为敏感的心弦。他发现她没点灯，身子伏在椅子上。他把她搂起来，自己脸贴着她的脸，低声说，“怎么啦？”

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“阿拉贝拉说的是实话呀——是实话呀。我在他身上瞧见你的影子啦！”

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“唉，我的一件人生大事反正早晚都是这样啊。”

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“可是他还有一半——那是她呀！这个我就是受不了！不过我应该——要想法习惯；对，我应该习惯。”

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“好吃醋的小苏呀！以前我说过你没性感的话，我全都要收回来！别管它啦。时间会把什么都纠正过来。……苏，亲亲，我这会儿倒有主意啦！咱们就一心教育他，培养他，让他上大学。我从前没法实现的理想，也许能经过他如愿以偿吧？你知道，他们这会儿对穷学生有点网开一面啦。”

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“哦，你这老做梦的人哪！”她说，拉着他的手，跟他一块儿回到孩子那儿。她看着孩子，孩子也看着她。“你原来就是我亲妈吧，是不是呀？”他想问明白。

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“怎么啦？我看着不像你爸爸的太太，是不是呀？”

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“才像呢；可就是他那么喜欢你，你那么喜欢他，倒不像啦。我能叫你妈妈？”

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接着孩子脸就露出了渴望，哭起来了。苏也抑制不住，立刻也哭起来了，她跟竖琴一样，只要别人心里稍有一点轻微的感情波动，就能引起震荡，使她的心自然而然地发生强烈的激动。

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“你愿意，就叫我妈吧，可怜的亲爱的孩子！”她说，把脸凑过去贴着孩子的脸，不想让他看见自己的眼泪。

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“你脖子上挂的什么？”裘德强作镇静地问。

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“是放在车站的箱子的钥匙。”

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他们一下子忙起来了，给他做晚饭，又给他安了床，他很快就睡熟了。他躺着，他们走过去看他。

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“他没睡着的时候，还叫了两三声妈。”裘德咕哝着。“他居然这么想叫妈，可真怪！”

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“唉——这可是意义重大啊。咱们该替这颗小小的饥渴的心细细想的事才多呢，比天上的星星还多呢。……我看，亲爱的，咱们该鼓起勇气，把婚礼办了，是不是呀？硬顶着潮流干犯不上啊，我觉着自己跟芸芸众生要共命运啦。哦，裘德，你真心爱我，往后是不是老这样啊？我一定好好待这个孩子，好好当他妈；咱们的婚姻加上个法律形式，我当他妈就更好办啦。”

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Part 5 第3章|Part 5 Chapter 3

她到家时候，裘德正在门口等她去办结婚的头道手续。她抓紧了他的胳臂，一路走着，默默无语，凡属真正同心相契都是这样。他看出来她有心事，忍住了没问她。

WHEN Sue reached home Jude was awaiting her at the door to take the initial step towards their marriage. She clasped his arm, and they went along silently together, as true comrades oft-times do. He saw that she was preoccupied, and forbore to question her.

“哦，裘德——我跟她谈过了。”她终于开口了。“我真后悔跟她谈啊！话说回来，这倒也不错，因为她提醒了我不少事。”

"Oh Jude--I’ve been talking to her," she said at last. "I wish I hadn’t! And yet it is best to be reminded of things."

“我希望她对你客客气气的。”

"I hope she was civil."

“她倒是客客气气。——我可没法不喜欢她，还真有点喜欢哪！她还不能算尖酸刻薄；想不到她的困难一下子全解决了，我倒替她高兴。”她接着说阿拉贝拉的男人已经电召她回家，这样她就恢复原来的地位了。

"Yes. I--I can’t help liking her--just a little bit! She’s not an ungenerous nature; and I am so glad her difficulties have all suddenly ended." She explained how Arabella had been summoned back, and would be enabled to retrieve her position.

“我刚才要提的，是咱们俩的老问题。阿拉贝拉跟我说的那一套更叫我对合法婚姻这个制度觉得恶心到无以复加了 ——这是个专为把男人弄上手的圈套，我一想到它真要吐出来。我真后悔答应你今儿早上去公布结婚启事。”

"I was referring to our old question. What Arabella has been saying to me has made me feel more than ever how hopelessly vulgar an institution legal marriage is-- a sort of trap to catch a man--I can’t bear to think of it. I wish I hadn’t promised to let you put up the banns this morning!"

“哎，你别管我好啦。我什么时候都行。我还当你这会儿要急着把它办完哪。”

"Oh, don’t mind me. Any time will do for me. I thought you might like to get it over quickly, now."

说着说着他们已经到了教区办事员的住宅。她的情人朝门口走去，她退后一步站住。他刚抬手要敲门，苏说：“裘德！”

They had now reached the house of the parish clerk. Sue stood back, while her lover went up to the door. His hand was raised to knock when she said: "Jude!"

他转过身来看。

He looked round.

“等一下，行吗？”

"Wait a minute, would you mind?"

他回到她身边。

He came back to her.

“咱们再考虑考虑吧。”她畏怯地说。“有个晚上我做了那么个噩梦！……再说阿拉贝拉——”

"Just let us think," she said timidly. "I had such a horrid dream one night! ... And Arabella----"

“阿拉贝拉跟你说了什么呀？”

"What did Arabella say to you?" he asked

“哎呀，亲爱的，你说得前途这么危险，叫我也心惊肉跳啦！好吧，咱们就回去再考虑考虑。”

"Upon my word, love, you are beginning to frighten me, too, with all this foreboding! Well, let’s go back and think it over."

她脸上一下子开朗了。“是呀——咱们真得考虑考虑！”她说。他们离开办事员家门口，往家走的路上，苏一手挽着他胳臂，一边嘴里哼哼着：

Her face brightened. "Yes--so we will!" said she. And they turned from the clerk’s door, Sue taking his arm and murmuring as they walked on homeward:

你能叫蜜蜂不花丛盘旋，或者叫斑鸠颈上不色彩斑烂？你没法办！你也没法叫不自由的爱情……

Can you keep the bee from ranging, Or the ring-dove s neck from changing? No! Nor fetter’d love ...

他们考虑了，不如说暂时撂开了。他们确实把结婚行动推迟下去，似乎继续在梦中乐园中生活着。又过了两三个礼拜，事情仍然毫无进展。奥尔布里肯教堂的会众没一回听见过宣布他们的结婚启事。

They thought it over, or postponed thinking. Certainly they postponed action, and seemed to live on in a dreamy paradise. At the end of a fortnight or three weeks matters remained unadvanced, and no banns were announced to the ears of any Aldbrickham congregation.

“瞧哇！”她说。

"Look!" said she.

他把那段看了。这份报纸只在伦敦南区流通，上面有条广告打了记号，是滑铁卢路圣约翰教堂一则简短结婚通告，当事人名字是‘卡特莱一邓恩”；阿拉贝拉同酒馆老板结为夫妻。

He looked and read. The paper was one that circulated in South London only, and the marked advertisement was simply the announcement of a marriage at St. John’s Church, Waterloo Road, under the names, "CARTLETT--DONN"; the united pair being Arabella and the inn-keeper.

但是裘德的注意力还是集中在信上。他把公告看了一眼之后就心烦意乱地说：“你听听这封信怎么说吧。这可叫我怎么说、怎么办呢？”

But Jude’s attention was still absorbed. Having merely glanced at the announcement he said in a disturbed voice: "Listen to this letter. What shall I say or do?"

当时我也不好跟你的女朋友说。再说我总想亲口跟你说，要比写信强得多。裘德，有件事我以前一直没跟你提过，咱们结婚以后我生过一个孩子，是在我离开你八个月之后，跟我父母住在悉尼时候生的，这很容易证明。

苏听了大惊失色。‘你怎么办哪，亲爱的？”她有气无力地问。

Sue’s look was one of dismay. "What will you do, dear?" she asked faintly.

裘德没回答，苏焦急地盯着他，喘粗气。

Jude did not reply, and Sue watched him anxiously, with heavy breaths.

“这孩子大概谁也不要啦！”苏说，泪汪汪的。

"The poor child seems to be wanted by nobody!" Sue replied, and her eyes filled.

“哦，不，不，他不会这样说！”

"Oh no!"

“我既然当初是离婚原告，我想我完全有权要求对他监护。”

"As I was the petitioner, I am really entitled to his custody, I suppose."

“不管有没有监护权，咱们一定得把他收下来。我看就这么办。我一定尽力而为，配当他妈，咱们总还养得起他。我要多干活儿。我在想他倒是什么时候来呀？”

"Whether or no, we must have him. I see that. I’ll do the best I can to be a mother to him, and we can afford to keep him somehow. I’ll work harder. I wonder when he’ll arrive?"

“我看就几个礼拜的事吧。”

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“希望如此——裘德，咱们什么时候有勇气结婚哪？”

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“你什么时候有勇气，我看我就有。这全看你，亲爱的。只要你一开口，一切就万事大吉。”

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“在孩子到以前办？”

"Before the boy comes?"

“当然喽！”

"Certainly."

“也许这么一来，孩子觉着真是到了家里啦。”她嘟囔着。

列车有时要停靠一下，这时乘务员就到车厢巡视，看见那孩子就说，‘乖啊，好小子。你的箱子放在行李车上，准保险，放心吧。”孩子就呆里八气地说声“是”，想笑笑，可没笑起来。

就在她收到前夫回信那天下午某个时间，孩子到了伦敦码头，受托带他回来的那家人把他送上一辆到兰贝斯的马车，跟车夫讲明赶到他母亲的住宅，然后跟他说了再见，就走了。

他到了三觞斋，阿拉贝拉一瞧他那份表情，就情不自禁地说：“你可真跟我猜的没两样。”她让他美美吃了一顿，给了点钱；天已向晚，她乘着卡特莱没在家，见不到他，赶紧把他送上下一班火车，让他前往裘德那儿。

火车到了奥尔布里肯，孩子一个人呆在空空的月台上，旁边是他的箱子。收票员收了他的票，想想觉得有什么不对劲，就问他这么晚一个人上哪儿去。

“到清泉街。”小家伙很有把握地说。

“唉，那段路可长哪；差不多快到乡下啦；人家都睡觉啦。”

“我非去不可。”

“你带着箱子，得找辆马车。”

“不找，我要走着去。”

“那好吧；你顶好把箱子先放在这儿，回头再叫人来取就得了。这条路一半有公共马车，剩下一半你就得走啦。”

“我不怕。”

“你的朋友怎么没来接你？”

“我看他们不知道我来。”

“你朋友是谁呀？”

“妈不让我说。”

“那我只好帮你看看箱子了。你就走吧，越快越好。”

那孩子没再说什么，出了月台，走到街上；他朝周围望望，没看到有人跟着他，也没看到有人注意他。走了一段路之后，他向人打听他要去的那条街怎么走。人家跟他说一直走，到了近郊就找到了。