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相约星期二|Tuesdays with Morrie

The Professor|The Audiovisual, Part Two

属类: 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 米奇-艾尔邦] 阅读:[11583]
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那会儿他八岁。一封电报从医院发来,由于他父亲--一个来自自俄罗斯的移民--不懂英语,只能由莫里来向大家宣布这个消息。他像站在班级前面的学生那样宣读了他母亲的死亡通知书。"我们遗憾地通知您……"他读道。

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葬礼的那天早上,莫里的亲友们从位于曼哈顿贫困的下东区的经济公寓楼的台阶上走下来。男人们穿着黑西服,女人们戴上了面纱。附近的孩子们正在去上学。当他们经过时,莫里低下了头,他不想让同学看见他那个样子。他的一个姨妈,一个很壮实的女人,一把抓住莫里嚎啕大哭:"没了母亲你可怎么办呀?你将来会怎么样噢!"

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莫里失声痛哭起来。他的同学赶紧跑开了。

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葬礼上,莫里看着他们将土铲在母亲的坟上。他竭力回忆着母亲在世时家庭所拥有的那份温馨。她患病前一直经营着一家糖果店,患病后大部分时间都是在窗前度过的,不是躺着就是坐着,显得十分虚弱。有时她会大声唤儿子给她拿药,在街上玩棍球的小莫里常常假装没听见。他相信,只要他置之不理,疾病就会被驱走的。

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你还能让一个孩子如何去面对死亡?

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莫里的父亲--人人都叫他查理--是为了逃避兵役而来美国的。他于的是皮毛业,但时常要失业。他没受过什么教育,不会说英语,所以一直很贫穷,家里大部分时间是靠救济度日的。他们的住房就在糖果店的后面,既黑又窄,令人十分压抑。他们没有一件奢侈品。没有汽车。为了挣钱,莫里和他弟弟大卫有时去替别人擦洗门廊的石阶,以换取一个五美分的硬币。

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他们的母亲死后,兄弟俩被送到了康涅狄克州森林里的一家小旅馆,那儿好几个家庭住在一块,共用一间大的卧室和厨房。亲戚们认为,那里的新鲜空气对孩子们会有好处的。莫里和大卫从未见过这么大的绿色世界,他们在野外尽情地玩耍。一天吃过晚饭,他们外出散步时天下起了雨。他们没有回家,而在雨里折腾了几个小时。

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第二天早上,莫里醒后一骨碌爬了起来。

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"快,"他对弟弟说,"起床。"

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"我起不来。"

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"你说什么?"

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大卫显得很害怕。"我不能……动了。"

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他得了小儿麻痹症。

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当然,淋雨并不是得病的原因。但莫里这个年龄的孩子是不会知道的。有很长一段时间--看着弟弟去一个专门的诊所治疗,两脚不得不戴上护套以致留下了跛脚的后遗症--莫里一直在自责。

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于是每天早上,他都要去犹太教堂--独自一人去,因为他父亲不是个教徒--站在那些身穿黑长袍。身子不停晃动的人中间,祈求上帝保佑他死去的母亲和患病的弟弟。

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下午,他站在地铁下面叫卖杂志,把挣来的钱交给家里买吃的。

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晚上,他瞧着父亲默默地吃着东西,企盼有--但从未得到过--一点感情的交流和关心。

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九岁的他感受到了巨大的压力和负担。

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但就在第二年,莫里得到了感情的补偿:他的继母伊娃。她是个矮小的罗马尼亚移民,长得很普通,一头棕色的鬈发,有着超人的精力。她身上像光一样的热情温暖了这个本来显得抑郁的家。当她新嫁的丈夫沉默不语时,她会滔滔不绝,晚上她给孩子们唱歌。她柔和的声音。传授的知识和坚强的性格抚平了莫里受伤的心灵。他弟弟戴着护套从诊所回来后,他俩同睡在厨房的一张折叠床上,伊娃会来吻他们道晚安。莫里每天像小狗等奶吃那样翘首等待着她的吻,他内心深处感到又有了母亲。

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然而,他们仍没有逃离贫穷。他们现在住到了布朗克斯区,那是特里蒙德街上一幢红砖楼房里的一套单问,紧靠着一个意大利露天啤酒店,夏天的晚上那儿常有老人玩室外地滚球。由于经济的萧条,莫里的父亲在皮毛业更难找到工作。有时,当一家人坐在餐桌前时,伊娃拿来的仅仅是面包。

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"还有什么?"大卫会问。

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"什么也没有了,"她说。

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她在替莫里兄弟俩盖被子时,会用意第绪语唱歌给他们听,尽管都是悲伤的歌。其中有一首唱的是一个卖香烟的女孩:

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请买我的烟。

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干燥的烟没有被雨淋,

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谁能同情我,谁能可怜我。

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即使处在这样的境遇,莫里还是学会了去爱,去关心,去学习。伊娃要求他在学校成绩优秀,她把受教育视作脱离贫困的唯一解药。她自己也在上夜校提高英语水平。莫里在她的怀抱里养成了对学习的热爱。

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晚上,他在厨房餐桌上的那盏台灯下学习,早上,他去犹太教堂为母亲求主眷念--为死者作祷告。但令人费解的是,他父亲从不让他提起死去的母亲。查理希望幼小的大卫把伊娃当作亲生的母亲。

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这对莫里来说是个沉重的精神负担。许多年里,母亲留给莫里的唯一信物就是那封宣告她死亡的电报。他收到电报的当天就把它藏了起来。

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他将把它珍藏一生。

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莫里十几岁时,他父亲把他带到了他工作的一家皮毛厂。那还是在大萧条时期,父亲想让莫里找一份工作。

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他一走进工厂,那厂房的围墙就让他感到窒息。厂房既黑又热,窗户上布满了垃圾,齐放在一起的机器发出犹如滚滚车轮的轰鸣声。毛絮到处飞扬,使空气变得污浊不堪。工人们彻楼着身子用针缝制着毛皮,老板在过道里巡视吆喝,不断催促他们干快些。莫里站在父亲的身边,害怕得要命,希望老板别对他也大喊大叫。

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午饭休息时,父亲把莫里带到了老板那儿,将他往前一推,问是否有活可以给他儿子干。可成年人的工作都没法保证,没人愿意放弃手里的饭碗。

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对莫里来说这是个福音。他恨那个地方。他又起了一个誓,这誓言一直保持到他生命的终结:他永远不会去从事剥削他人的工作,他不允许自己去赚别人的血汗钱。

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"你将来准备做什么?"伊娃问他。

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"我不知道,"他说。他把学法律排除在外,因为他不喜欢律师;他把学医也排除在外,因为他怕见到血。

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"你准备做什么?"

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我这位最优秀的教授由于他的缺陷而当了一名教师。

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"教师追求的是永恒;他的影响也将永无止境。"

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--亨利•亚当斯②

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②美国历史学家和作者(1838-1918)。

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The "Nightline" show had done a follow-up story on Morrie partly becau癳 the reception for the first show had been so strong. This time, when the cameramen and producers came through the door, they already felt like family. And Koppel himself was noticeably warmer. There was no feeling-out process, no interview before the interview. As warm-up, Koppel and Morrie exchanged stories about their childhood backgrounds: Koppel spoke of growing up in England, and Morrie spoke of growing up in the Bronx. Morrie wore a longsleeved blue shirt-he was almost always chilly, even when it was ninety degrees outside-but Koppel removed his jacket and did the interview in shirt and tie. It was as if Morrie were breaking him down, one layer at a time.

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"You look fine," Koppel said when the tape began to roll.

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"That’s what everybody tells me," Morrie said. "You sound fine."

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"That’s what everybody tells me."

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"So how do you know things are going downhill?"

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Morrie sighed.. "Nobody can know it but me, Ted. But I know it."

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And as he spoke, it became obvious. He was not waving his hands to make a point as freely as he had in their first conversation. He had trouble pronouncing certain words-the l sound seemed to get caught in his throat. In a few more months, he might no longer speak at all.

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"Here’s how my emotions go," Morrie told Koppel. "When I have people and friends here, I’m very up. The loving relationships maintain me.

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"But there are days when I am depressed. Let me not deceive you. I see certain things going and I feel a sense of dread. What am I going to do without my hands? What happens when I can’t speak? Swallowing, I don’t care so much about-so they feed me through a tube, so what? But my voice? My hands? They’re such an essential part of me. I talk with my voice. I gesture with my hands. This is how I give to people."

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"How will you give when you can no longer speak?" Koppel asked.

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Morrie shrugged. "Maybe I’ll have everyone ask me yes or no questions."

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It was such a simple answer that Koppel had to smile. He asked Morrie about silence. He mentioned a dear friend Morrie had, Maurie Stein, who had first sent Morrie’s aphorisms to the Boston Globe. They had been together at Brandeis since the early sixties. Now Stein was going deaf. Koppel imagined the two men together one day, one unable to speak, the other unable to hear. What would that be like?

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"We will hold hands," Morrie said. "And there’ll be a lot of love passing between us. Ted, we’ve had thirty-five years of friendship. You don’t need speech or hearing to feel that."

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Before the show ended, Morrie read Koppel one of the letters he’d received. Since the first "Nightline" program, there had been a great deal of mail. One particular letter came from a schoolteacher in Pennsylvania who taught a special class of nine children; every child in the class had suffered the death of a parent.

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"Here’s what I sent her back," Morrie told Koppel, perching his glasses gingerly on his nose and ears. " `Dear Barbara . . . I was very moved by your letter. I feel the work you have done with the children who have lost a parent is very important. I also lost a parent at an early age . . .’ "

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Suddenly, with the cameras still humming, Morrie adjusted the glasses. He stopped, bit his lip, and began to choke up. Tears fell down his nose. " `I lost my mother when I was a child . . . and it was quite a blow to me . . . I wish I’d had a group like yours where I would have been able to talk about my sorrows. I would have joined your group because . . . "

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His voice cracked.

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" `. . . because I was so lonely . . . "

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"Morrie," Koppel said, "that was seventy years ago your mother died. The pain still goes on?"

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"You bet," Morrie whispered.

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