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白痴|The Idiot

Part 1 第13章|Part 1 Chapter 13

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 陀思妥耶夫斯基] 阅读：[21673]
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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公爵登楼的时候，心里惴惴不安，竭力给自己鼓起勇气。“最大不了的，”他想，“就是不见并且对我有什么不好的想法，或者，也许会见，但是当面嘲笑我…… 唉，没关系！”确实，这还不算很可怕，但是有一个问题：“他到那里去做什么，为什么去？”--一对这个问题他则根本找不到可以慰藉的回答，即使可以通过某种方式抓住机会对纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜说：“别嫁给这个人，别毁了自己，他不爱您，而爱您的钱，他亲口对我这么说的，阿格拉娅·叶潘钦娜也对我这么说过，我来就是转告您这一点，”这样做从各方面来看也未必恰当。还有一个没有解决的问题，而且这么重大，公爵甚至怕去想它，甚至不能也不敢容许自己去想它，不知道该如何表达，一想到这个问题，便脸红耳赤，浑身打颤。但是，尽管惶恐不安、疑虑重重，结果他还是走了进去，并求见纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜。

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纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜占据一套不很大的公寓，但装修得确实富丽堂皇。在彼得堡生活的这五年中，有过一段时间、那是在开始的时候，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇为她特别不惜钱财；那时他还指望得到她的爱情，想诱惑她。主要是通过舒适的奢侈的享受，因为他知道，奢侈的习惯是很容易养成的，可是当奢侈渐渐地变成必不可少的习性时，要想摆脱它就非常困难了，在这方面托茨基仍然忠于很管用的老传统，他不做丝毫的改变，万分尊重感性影响那不可战胜的威力。纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜并不拒绝奢侈，甚至还喜欢它，但是，似乎非常奇怪的是，她决不沉缅其中，仿佛随时都可以没有它；甚至有好几次竭力声明这了点，令托茨基感到不快和震惊。其实，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜身上有许多东西使托茨基感到不快（后来甚至是蔑视）和惊讶、有时让那种粗俗的人亲近她；看来，她也喜欢接近他们，这已经不用说了。她身上不流露出一些完全是很奇怪的习性：两种迥异的情趣极不和谐地合在一起，似乎上流社会，修养高雅的人所不容许存在的一些东西和方式，都能够习惯并感到满足。实际上，假如纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜，比方说，依然表现出某种令人好感的、可爱的无知，例如，不知道农妇不可能穿她的细麻纱内衣，那么阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇大概会对此感到非常满意的。托茨基在这方面是很在行的人，按照他的计划，对纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的教养从一开始就追求达到这样的结果；可是，哎！结果却是令人奇怪的。尽管那样，然而纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜身上依然保留着某种气质，有时那非同寻常和招人喜爱的、别出心裁、独具的魅力甚至使阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇自己也感到惊异，即使现在，在原先对纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的全部打算已经落空的情况下，有时也仍使他迷醉。

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迎接公爵的是一位姑娘（纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜所雇的仆人经常是女的），使他惊奇的是，听完他请求通报的话时，她没有丝毫的疑惑。无论是他那肮脏的靴子，还是宽檐的帽子，无论是无袖的风衣，还是困窘的神色都没有引起她的丝毫踌躇。她帮他脱下风衣，请他在接待室稍候，便马上去通报他的来访。

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在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那里聚会的是她平时经常来的最熟识的人，跟以往这种日子每年的聚会相比甚至显得人太少了。来宾中首要的和为主是阿法纳西·托茨基和伊万·费奥多维寄·叶潘钦；两人都殷切可亲，但是由于难以掩饰等待宣布事先许诺的有关加尼亚的决定，他们又都有一丝的不安。除了他们，当然还有加尼亚，他也很忧心忡忡，思虑重重，甚至似乎完全“不殷切可亲”，大部分时间站在稍远些的一旁，默不作声。他不敢引瓦里娅带来，但是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜也没有提起她；然而，刚跟加利亚打过招呼，她就想起了刚才他和公爵的龃龉。将军还没有听说过这件事，他开始感兴趣地问。于是加尼亚便用单板克制的口气，但却十分坦率地叙述了刚才发生的一切以及他怎么已经去请求公爵原谅的事，与此同时，他热烈地说出自己的意见，认为把公爵称作“白痴”是相当奇怪的，而且不知道是什么原因，而他认为完全相反，而且这个人显然是很有心计的。纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜以极大的注意听着这种评论，好奇地注视着加尼亚，但是话题马上又转到了早晨发生的事件的主要参加者罗戈任身上，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇和伊万·费奥多罗维奇也怀着极大的好奇津津有味地听起来。原来，普季岑能告诉有关罗戈任的特别情况；为了他的事情普季岑跟他一起想方设法，到处奔走，几乎忙到晚上９点。罗戈任竭力坚持要在今天弄到１０万卢布。“真的，他喝醉了，”普季岑讲到这里时指出，“但是１０万卢布，无论搞到它有多么困难，看来他是会弄到手的，只不过我不知道，今天是否能异到，又是否全部能弄到；而现在许多人都在奔走：金杰尔，特别帕洛夫，比斯库普，随便多少利息他都给，这当然全是喝醉了一时高兴……”普季岑结束说。所有这些消息引起了大家的关注，但心里又有些阴沉；纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜沉默着，显然不愿意说什么；加尼亚也是。叶潘钦将军几乎比所有的人更为暗自忧虑，因为还是上午送来的珍珠虽然是客客气气地收下了，可是这种客气已显得过分冷淡，甚至还带着某种特别的淡然一笑。所有的客人中只有费尔迪先科有着乐滋滋、喜冲冲的情绪，有时还莫明其妙地哈哈大笑起来，这全是因为他自己硬要扮演一个小丑的角色。阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇自己原被公认为是讲故事含蓄精雅的好手，过去在这种晚会上通常都是他驾驭着谈话，现在却显然情绪不佳，甚至还带着一种非他所有的慌乱。别的客人其实并不多（一个当教师的可怜巴巴的小老头，天知道为什么邀请他）；一个不认识的很年轻的人，异常羞怯，始终默默无语；一个４０岁左右，颇为活络的女士是个演员；一个非常美貌，穿得十分漂亮阔绰的年轻女士则是少有的不爱说话），他们不仅不能使谈话活跃起来，甚至有时不知道说什么好。

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这种情况下，公爵的来到恰恰正是时候，他的来访一通报，便引起了困惑和一些奇怪的微笑，特别是从纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那惊诧的神色来看。客人们知道，她根本就没有想过要邀请他。但是在惊讶之后，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜却突然流露出那样的高兴，于是大多数人随即就准备好用欢声笑语和快活的气氛来迎接这位不速之客。

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“就算是出于他天真才这样，”伊万·费奥多罗维奇·叶潘钦做着结论说，“鼓励这样的习气无论如何也是相当危险的，但是，说真的，尽管采取这样别出心裁的方式，他忽然想出光临此地，在这种时候倒也不坏。他大概是想让我们快乐，至少我可以对他做这样的推想。”

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“何况他是自己硬上门的！”费尔迪先科马上插进来说。

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“那又怎么样？”对费尔迪先科恨之人骨的将军生硬单板地问。

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“那就得付入场费，”后者解释道。

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“嘿，梅什金公爵毕竟不是费尔迪先科，”将军忍不住说。直到现在，一想到与费尔迪先科同处一起，平起平坐，他就无法容忍。

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“嘿，将军，请饶了费尔迪先科吧，”他讪笑着说，“我可是有特殊权利的。”

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“您有什么样的特殊权利？”

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“上一次我有幸向诸位作了详细说明；现在我为阁下再讲一次。请看，阁下，大家都有说俏皮话的本领，而我却没有。作为补偿我求得了允许我说真话，因为大家都知道，只有不会说俏皮话的人才说真话。何况我是个报复心很强的人，这也是因为缺少说俏皮话本领的缘故。任何委屈我都将逆来顺受，但是只忍受到欺负人的人首次失利；他一失利，我立即就会记起前嫌，马上就会以某种方式进行报复，正像伊万·彼得罗维奇·普季岑形容我那样，我会喘上几脚，他自己嘛，当然是从来也不踢人的噶。您知道克雷洛夫的寓言《狮子和驴子》吗，阁下？嘿，您和我两人就是，写的就是我们。”

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“您好像又在信口雌黄了，费尔迪先科，”将军大力生气地说。

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“您怎么啦，阁下？”费尔迪先科接过话茬说。他原来就这样指望着什么时候可以接过话茬，更多地胡扯一通。“您别担心，阁下，我知道自己的地位：既然我说了，您和我是克雷洛夫寓言中的狮子和驴子，那么驴子的角色当然是我担当了，而阁下则是狮子，正如克雷洛夫寓言中说的：

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强悍的狮子，森林之猛兽，

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年老又体衰，威力丧失尽。

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而我，阁下，是驴子。”

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“后面一点我同意，”将军不经心地脱口说道。

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这一切当然是无礼的，故意这样的，但是让费尔迪先科扮演小丑的角色也就这样被认可了。

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“这里放我进来并留住我，”费尔迪先科有一次高声说，“仅仅是为了要我就用这种方式说话，不然，真能接待像我这样的人吗？我可是明白这一层的。呶，能让我这么一个费尔迪先科跟阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇这样高雅的绅士坐到一起吗？剩下的不得不只有一个解释：让我坐就是为了这样做是不可思议的。”

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尽管说得很粗鲁无礼，但终究常含着讥刺挖苦，有时甚至颇为辛辣，这一点好像也正是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜所喜欢的。一定想要做她座上客的人，就落得个横下心来忍爱费尔迪先科的遭遇。他大概也猜透了全部底细。他推测，从第一次起他的在场就使托茨基难以忍受、正是因为这个缘故他才开始得到接待的。而加尼亚方面也吃了他无穷的苦头，所以在这一点上费尔迪先科也是经常善于为纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜效劳的。

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“我猜想，公爵将以唱一曲流行的浪漫曲为开始，”费尔迪先科一边做动判断，一边则看纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜会怎么说。

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“我不这么认为，费尔迪先科，请别急躁，，她淡淡地说。

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“噢--噢！既然他受到特别的庇护，那么我也要宽厚温和待他了……”

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但是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜没有听他的话，站起身，亲自去迎接公爵。

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“我很抱歉，”她突然出现在公爵面前，说，“刚才仓猝之中我忘了邀请您到我这儿来，现在您自己给我机会来感谢和赞赏的决心，我感到非常高兴。”

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说这些话的时候，她专注地凝视着公爵，竭力想多少能对他的举动做出一些解释。

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公爵本来大概想对她这些客气话回答几句的，但是他震惊得如痴如醉，竟说不出一句话来。纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜高兴地觉察到这一点。今天晚上她全副盛装，给人以非凡的印象。她挽着他的手，带他到客人那里去。就在要走进客厅的那一会公爵突然停住了，异常激动地匆匆对她低语说：

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“您身上一切都是完美的……甚至连清瘦和苍白也是这样……令人不愿把您想象成另一种模样……我是这么想到您这里来……我……请原谅……”

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“不用请求原谅，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜笑了起来，说，“这会破坏整个奇特怪诞和独具一格的情趣的。人家说您是个怪人，看来，这是真的。这么说，您认为我是完美的，是吗。”

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“是的。”

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“您虽然是猜谜的能手，但是还是错了。今天我就会让您注意到这一点。”

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她把他介绍给客人们，其中一大半人已经认识他了，托茨基马上说了些客气的话。大家似乎有点活跃起来，一下子有说有笑了。纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜把公爵安顿在自己旁边。

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“不过，公爵光临有什么好惊奇的呢？”费尔迪先科比大家都响地嚷了起来，“事情明摆着，事情本身就说明了！”

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“事情是太明了了，并且太说明问题了，”沉默不语的加尼亚忽然接过话茬说，“从上午公爵在伊万·费奥多罗维奇的桌子上第一次看见纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的相片那一刻起，今天我几乎一直不停地在观察他。我很清楚地记得，还在当时我就想到过，而现在则完全确信，顺便说，公爵自己也向我承认过。”

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加尼亚这番话说得非常认真，没有丝毫玩笑的意味，甚至还很忧郁，以致让人觉得有些奇怪。

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“我没有对您承认过，”公爵红着脸回答，“我不过是回答了您的问题。”

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“妙，妙！一费尔迪先科嚷了起来，“至少这是真诚的，又狡猾又真诚！”

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所有的人都哗然大笑起来。

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“费尔迪先科，您别喊嘛，”普季岑厌恶地轻声向他指出。

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“公爵，我可没有料到您有这样的壮举，”伊万·费奥多罗维奇低声说。“您知道吗，这适合于什么人？我则认为您是个哲学家！而且是个安分的人！”

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“因为这个纯洁无邪的玩笑公爵竟羞得像个天真无邪的少女，从这点上看，我可以断定，作为一个高尚的青年，他心中怀有最值得赞赏的意图，”突然教师老头完全出其不意地说，或者，最好是说，因为役有牙齿而唔哩唔哩地说。大家笑得更厉害了。老头大概以为大家笑的是他的话说得俏皮，便望着大家，开始更加纵声大笑，同时还剧烈咳嗽起来，致使纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜马上来安抚他，吻他，并吩咐再给他送茶。她不知为什么非常喜欢所有这样有些古怪的老头老太、甚至疯疯傻傻的修士，他向进来的女仆要了一件披肩裹在身上，又吩咐往壁炉里添些柴，然后问几点钟了，女仆回答说，已经１０点半了。

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“诸位，要不要喝点香槟？”突然纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜邀请说，“我这儿准备了。也许，你们会觉得更快活。请吧，不要客气。”

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由纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜提议喝酒，特别是用这么天真的口吻来表达这是非常奇怪的，大家都知道，在她过去举行的晚会上是非常正经庄重的。总之，今天的晚会显得比较活泼，但是不同寻常。然而大家并不拒绝喝酒，先是将军本人，活络的太太、老头、费尔迪先科其次，随后所有的人都不反对。托茨基也拿起酒杯，他指望协调一下正出现的新气氛，使其尽可能带有亲近的戏谑的性质。只有加尼亚一个人什么也不喝。纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜过拿起了酒并声称，今天晚上她要喝三杯。她那很有点奇怪的、有时很急躁、迅疾的举止，她那歇斯底里、无缘无故的笑声以及突然间隔着的沉默甚至悒郁的沉思，很难使人明白是怎么回事。有些人怀疑她有寒热病；后来人们开始发觉，她自己仿佛在等待什么，不时看一眼钟，而且变得急不可耐、心不在焉。

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“您好像有点发冷？”活络的太大问。

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“不是有点，而是很冷，因此我才裹上了披肩，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜回答说。她真的显得很苍白，似乎不时地克制着强烈的寒颤。

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大家都开始不安并动弹起来。

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“我们是否让女主人休息？”托茨基看了一眼伊万·费奥多罗维奇，说。

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“绝对用不着，诸位！我请你们就坐着。今天我特别需要你们在场，”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜突然坚决而郑重地声称。因为几乎所有的客人都已知道，今天晚上预定要宣布一个非常重要的决定，所以这几句话就显得非常有分量。将军和托次基又交换了一次眼色，加尼亚则痉挛似的动了一下身子。

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“来玩玩哪一种沙龙游戏倒不错，”活络的太太说。

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“我知道一种非常奇妙的新式沙龙游戏，”费尔迪先科接过话茬说，“至少是这样的，它在世上仅仅有过一次，而且没有成功。”

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“是什么游戏？”活络的太太问。

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“有一天我们几个伙伴聚在一起，确实，也喝了点酒。突然有人提议，我们每个人不用站起来，讲一件自己的事，但是要凭真正的良心，讲自己认为是一生中全部丑行中的最丑的一件事；但是必须得是真的，主要的是要讲真话，不许撒谎。”

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“奇怪的主意，”将军说。

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“是啊，还有什么更奇怪的呢，阁下，但是妙也就妙在这里。”

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“可笑的主意，”托茨基说，“不过，也很明白：这是一种特别的吹牛。”

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“也许，就需要那样，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇。”

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“来这样的沙龙游戏，可是叫你哭，而不是笑，”活络的太太指出。

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“这名堂完全不能来，太荒唐了，”普季岑批评说。

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“成功了吗？”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜问。

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“就是没有成功，结果很糟糕，每个人真的都讲了什么事，许多人讲的是真话，你们设想一下，有些人甚至讲得津津乐道，可后来所有的人都感到很羞耻，不能容忍！不过，总的来说还是非常快活的，也就从某一点上来说是这样。”

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“真的，这倒也挺好！”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜说。大家一下子活跃起来。

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“真的，不妨试试，诸位！确实，我们好像不那么开心。如果我们每个人都同意讲点什么……也是这一类事……当然，要同意这样，这里完全自愿，怎么样？也许，我们能经受得住？至少这是非常有独创性的……。”

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“真是英明的主意！”费尔迪先科接过话茬说，“不过，女士们例外，男客们开始讲吧；就像那时一样，我们来抓阄儿进行！一定这样，一定这样！谁实在不想讲，当然，就不用讲了，不过也就太不讨趣了。诸位，把你们的阄儿放到我这儿来，放帽子里，公爵来抓。题目很简单，讲自己一生中最丑的事，这是容易得不得了的，诸位！你们会看到的！如果谁忘了，我马上会提醒的。”

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谁也不喜欢这个主意。一些人皱起了眉头，另一些人狡黠地窃笑着。一些人表示反对，但不太坚决，例如，伊万·费奥多罗维奇发觉纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜很为这个怪诞的念头所吸引，便不想违拗她。而纳斯塔西征·费利帕夫娜只要说出了自己的愿望，便总是遏制不住和毫无顾忌地要去实现它的，哪怕这些愿望是最任性的，甚至对她来说是最没有意思的，现在她就象歇斯底里发作一样走来走去，神经质地阵发性地笑着，特别是对惴惴不安的托茨基的异议发出这种笑声。她那深色的眼睛闪闪发亮，苍白的脸颊上浮到起两块红晕。有些客人脸上流露出的沮丧和轻蔑的神情，也许更加燃起她愚弄人的愿望；也许，这一主意的厚颜无耻和不顾情面正是她所喜欢的。有些人相信，她这样做有某种特别的意图。不过，大家也都同意了：不论怎样这是很令人好奇的，对于许多人来说还挺有诱惑力。费尔迪先科比所有的人都要忙碌。

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“要是有什么事情……当着女士们面不能说的、怎么办？”一位默默不语的年轻人羞怯地问。

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“那么您就不要讲这事，难道除此而外恶劣的行为还少吗？”费尔迪先科回答说，“唉，您呀，真是个年轻人！”

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“我就是不知道，我的行为中哪一桩算最不好，”活络的大太插进来说。

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“女士们可以免去不讲，”费尔迪先科重复说，“但仅仅是免去；自告奋勇者还是允许的。男士们如果有实在不想讲的，也免讲。”

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“可这里怎么证明我有没有撒谎？”加尼亚问，“如果我撤谎，那么整个游戏就失去其意义了。再说谁又不会撤谎呢？每个人都一定会撒谎的。”

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“一个人在这种情况下怎么撒谎，单就这一点已经是很诱感人的了。你嘛，加涅奇卡，不用特别担心要撒谎的事，因为不撒谎大家也知道你最恶劣的丑行。好，诸位，你们只要想想，”费尔迪先科忽然来了灵感嚷道，“只要想一想，在讲了故事以后，比方说明天，我们将会用什么样的目光来彼此看待对方！”

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“难道可以这样做吗？纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜，难道这当真？”托茨基尊严地问。

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“怕狼就别进树林！”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜冷笑着说。

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“但是请问，费尔迪先科先生，难道这样能玩起沙龙游戏来？”托茨基起来越加惶恐不安，继续问道。“请您相信，这样的玩意永远也不会成功的；您自己不也说了，已经有过一次不成功了。”

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“怎么不成功！我上一次讲的是怎么偷了三个卢布，真的拿了，而且也讲了！”

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“就算是这样，但是，像您这样讲得像是真事并且使大家相信您，这是不可能的。而加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇指出的完全正确：稍微听出一点假的东西，整个游戏便失去意义了。这里只有很偶然的情况下才可能讲真话，那就是有特别的兴致来讲那些十分粗俗的事，而在这里这是不可思议的，并且完全是不体面的。”

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“嗬，您是多么高雅的人啊，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇！甚至都让我感到惊讶。”费尔迪先科喊了起来，“诸位，请想想，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇认为，我不能把自己偷东西的事说得像真的，他以这种巧妙的方式暗示，我实际上是不会偷的（因为这讲出声来是不体面的），虽然他本人暗自也许完全深信费尔迪先科很可能是偷东西的！不过，诸位，还是言归正传，讲正事吧，阄儿已经收齐，还有您，阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇，把自己的也放进去，这么说，没有一个人拒绝。公爵，抓阄吧！”

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公爵默默地把手伸进帽子，取出第一个阄，是费尔迪先科，第二个是普季岑，第三个是将军，第四是阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇，第五是公爵自己，第六是加尼亚，等等，女士们没有放阄进去。

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“啊，天哪，多倒霉呀！”费尔迪先科喊了起来，“我倒还想，公爵会轮到第一个，将军则将是第二个。不过，上帝保佑，至少伊万·彼得罗维奇在我后面，我还有所补偿。好吧，诸位，我当然应该做出好榜样，但此刻我最感遗憾的是，我是那么微不足道，毫不出众；甚至我的头衔也是最小的，嘿，费尔迪先科干了恶劣的事其实有什么有趣的呢？再说，哪件事是我干的最坏的事呢？这真ｅｍｂｒｒａ８ ｄｅ ｒｉｃｈｅｓｓｅ＊。难道再来讲那次偷窃，好让阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇相信，不当小偷也可以行窈。”

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“费尔迪先科先生，您现在使我相信，讲自己那些淫猥的丑行，确实可以感到快乐甚至享受，尽管并没有打听这些事……不过……对不起，费尔迪先科先生。”

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“开始吧，费尔迪先科，您废话唠叨得大多了，而且永远没个完！”纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜生气地不耐烦地吩咐说。

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大家发觉，在刚才阵发性的笑声以后，她突然变得忧郁、不满和易怒；虽然这样她还是执拗和专横地坚持她那令人难堪的任性要求。阿法纳西·伊万诺维奇痛苦地非凡。伊万·费奥多罗维奇也叫他十分恼火：他仿佛没事儿似的正坐着喝香槟，也许，甚至还在酝酿轮到自己时讲什么呢。

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THE prince was very nervous as he reached the outer door; but he did his best to encourage himself with the reflection that the worst thing that could happen to him would be that he would not be received, or, perhaps, received, then laughed at for coming.

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But there was another question, which terrified him considerably, and that was: what was he going to do when he DID get in? And to this question he could fashion no satisfactory reply.

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If only he could find an opportunity of coming close up to Nastasia Philipovna and saying to her: "Don’t ruin yourself by marrying this man. He does not love you, he only loves your money. He told me so himself, and so did Aglaya Ivanovna, and I have come on purpose to warn you"--but even that did not seem quite a legitimate or practicable thing to do. Then, again, there was another delicate question, to which he could not find an answer; dared not, in fact, think of it; but at the very idea of which he trembled and blushed. However, in spite of all his fears and heart-quakings he went in, and asked for Nastasia Philipovna.

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Nastasia occupied a medium-sized, but distinctly tasteful, flat, beautifully furnished and arranged. At one period of these five years of Petersburg life, Totski had certainly not spared his expenditure upon her. He had calculated upon her eventual love, and tried to tempt her with a lavish outlay upon comforts and luxuries, knowing too well how easily the heart accustoms itself to comforts, and how difficult it is to tear one’s self away from luxuries which have become habitual and, little by little, indispensable.

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Nastasia did not reject all this, she even loved her comforts and luxuries, but, strangely enough, never became, in the least degree, dependent upon them, and always gave the impression that she could do just as well without them. In fact, she went so far as to inform Totski on several occasions that such was the case, which the latter gentleman considered a very unpleasant communication indeed.

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But, of late, Totski had observed many strange and original features and characteristics in Nastasia, which he had neither known nor reckoned upon in former times, and some of these fascinated him, even now, in spite of the fact that all his old calculations with regard to her were long ago cast to the winds.

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A maid opened the door for the prince (Nastasia’s servants were all females) and, to his surprise, received his request to announce him to her mistress without any astonishment. Neither his dirty boots, nor his wide-brimmed hat, nor his sleeveless cloak, nor his evident confusion of manner, produced the least impression upon her. She helped him off with his cloak, and begged him to wait a moment in the ante-room while she announced him.

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The company assembled at Nastasia Philipovna’s consisted of none but her most intimate friends, and formed a very small party in comparison with her usual gatherings on this anniversary.

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In the first place there were present Totski, and General Epanchin. They were both highly amiable, but both appeared to be labouring under a half-hidden feeling of anxiety as to the result of Nastasia’s deliberations with regard to Gania, which result was to be made public this evening.

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Then, of course, there was Gania who was by no means so amiable as his elders, but stood apart, gloomy, and miserable, and silent. He had determined not to bring Varia with him; but Nastasia had not even asked after her, though no sooner had he arrived than she had reminded him of the episode between himself and the prince. The general, who had heard nothing of it before, began to listen with some interest, while Gania, drily, but with perfect candour, went through the whole history, including the fact of his apology to the prince. He finished by declaring that the prince was a most extraordinary man, and goodness knows why he had been considered an idiot hitherto, for he was very far from being one.

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Nastasia listened to all this with great interest; but the conversation soon turned to Rogojin and his visit, and this theme proved of the greatest attraction to both Totski and the general.

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Ptitsin was able to afford some particulars as to Rogojin’s conduct since the afternoon. He declared that he had been busy finding money for the latter ever since, and up to nine o’clock, Rogojin having declared that he must absolutely have a hundred thousand roubles by the evening. He added that Rogojin was drunk, of course; but that he thought the money would be forthcoming, for the excited and intoxicated rapture of the fellow impelled him to give any interest or premium that was asked of him, and there were several others engaged in beating up the money, also.

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All this news was received by the company with somewhat gloomy interest. Nastasia was silent, and would not say what she thought about it. Gania was equally uncommunicative. The general seemed the most anxious of all, and decidedly uneasy. The present of pearls which he had prepared with so much joy in the morning had been accepted but coldly, and Nastasia had smiled rather disagreeably as she took it from him. Ferdishenko was the only person present in good spirits.

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Totski himself, who had the reputation of being a capital talker, and was usually the life and soul of these entertainments, was as silent as any on this occasion, and sat in a state of, for him, most uncommon perturbation.

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The rest of the guests (an old tutor or schoolmaster, goodness knows why invited; a young man, very timid, and shy and silent; a rather loud woman of about forty, apparently an actress; and a very pretty, well-dressed German lady who hardly said a word all the evening) not only had no gift for enlivening the proceedings, but hardly knew what to say for themselves when addressed. Under these circumstances the arrival of the prince came almost as a godsend.

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The announcement of his name gave rise to some surprise and to some smiles, especially when it became evident, from Nastasia’s astonished look, that she had not thought of inviting him. But her astonishment once over, Nastasia showed such satisfaction that all prepared to greet the prince with cordial smiles of welcome.

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"Of course," remarked General Epanchin, "he does this out of pure innocence. It’s a little dangerous, perhaps, to encourage this sort of freedom; but it is rather a good thing that he has arrived just at this moment. He may enliven us a little with his originalities."

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"Especially as he asked himself," said Ferdishenko.

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"What’s that got to do with it?" asked the general, who loathed Ferdishenko.

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"Why, he must pay toll for his entrance," explained the latter.

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"H’m! Prince Muishkin is not Ferdishenko," said the general, impatiently. This worthy gentleman could never quite reconcile himself to the idea of meeting Ferdishenko in society, and on an equal footing.

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"Oh general, spare Ferdishenko!" replied the other, smiling. "I have special privileges."

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"What do you mean by special privileges?"

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"Once before I had the honour of stating them to the company. I will repeat the explanation to-day for your Excellency’s benefit. You see, excellency, all the world is witty and clever except myself. I am neither. As a kind of compensation I am allowed to tell the truth, for it is a well-known fact that only stupid people tell ’the truth. Added to this, I am a spiteful man, just because I am not clever. If I am offended or injured I bear it quite patiently until the man injuring me meets with some misfortune. Then I remember, and take my revenge. I return the injury sevenfold, as Ivan Petrovitch Ptitsin says. (Of course he never does so himself.) Excellency, no doubt you recollect Kryloff’s fable, ’The Lion and the Ass’? Well now, that’s you and I. That fable was written precisely for us."

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"You seem to be talking nonsense again, Ferdishenko," growled the general.

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"What is the matter, excellency? I know how to keep my place. When I said just now that we, you and I, were the lion and the ass of Kryloff’s fable, of course it is understood that I take the role of the ass. Your excellency is the lion of which the fable remarks:

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’A mighty lion, terror of the woods, Was shorn of his great prowess by old age.’

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And I, your excellency, am the ass."

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"I am of your opinion on that last point," said Ivan Fedorovitch, with ill-concealed irritation.

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All this was no doubt extremely coarse, and moreover it was premeditated, but after all Ferdishenko had persuaded everyone to accept him as a buffoon.

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"If I am admitted and tolerated here," he had said one day, "it is simply because I talk in this way. How can anyone possibly receive such a man as I am? I quite understand. Now, could I, a Ferdishenko, be allowed to sit shoulder to shoulder with a clever man like Afanasy Ivanovitch? There is one explanation, only one. I am given the position because it is so entirely inconceivable!"

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But these vulgarities seemed to please Nastasia Philipovna, although too often they were both rude and offensive. Those who wished to go to her house were forced to put up with Ferdishenko. Possibly the latter was not mistaken in imagining that he was received simply in order to annoy Totski, who disliked him extremely. Gania also was often made the butt of the jester’s sarcasms, who used this method of keeping in Nastasia Philipovna’s good graces.

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"The prince will begin by singing us a fashionable ditty," remarked Ferdishenko, and looked at the mistress of the house, to see what she would say.

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"I don’t think so, Ferdishenko; please be quiet," answered Nastasia Philipovna dryly.

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"A-ah! if he is to be under special patronage, I withdraw my claws."

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But Nastasia Philipovna had now risen and advanced to meet the prince.

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"I was so sorry to have forgotten to ask you to come, when I saw you," she said, "and I am delighted to be able to thank you personally now, and to express my pleasure at your resolution."

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So saying she gazed into his eyes, longing to see whether she could make any guess as to the explanation of his motive in coming to her house. The prince would very likely have made some reply to her kind words, but he was so dazzled by her appearance that he could not speak.

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Nastasia noticed this with satisfaction. She was in full dress this evening; and her appearance was certainly calculated to impress all beholders. She took his hand and led him towards her other guests. But just before they reached the drawing-room door, the prince stopped her, and hurriedly and in great agitation whispered to her:

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"You are altogether perfection; even your pallor and thinness are perfect; one could not wish you otherwise. I did so wish to come and see you. I--forgive me, please--"

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"Don’t apologize," said Nastasia, laughing; "you spoil the whole originality of the thing. I think what they say about you must be true, that you are so original.--So you think me perfection, do you?"

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"Yes."

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"H’m! Well, you may be a good reader of riddles but you are wrong THERE, at all events. I’ll remind you of this, tonight."

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Nastasia introduced the prince to her guests, to most of whom he was already known.

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Totski immediately made some amiable remark. Al seemed to brighten up at once, and the conversation became general. Nastasia made the prince sit down next to herself.

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"Dear me, there’s nothing so very curious about the prince dropping in, after all," remarked Ferdishenko.

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"It’s quite a clear case," said the hitherto silent Gania. I have watched the prince almost all day, ever since the moment when he first saw Nastasia Philipovna’s portrait, at General Epanchin’s. I remember thinking at the time what I am now pretty sure of; and what, I may say in passing, the prince confessed to myself."

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Gania said all this perfectly seriously, and without the slightest appearance of joking; indeed, he seemed strangely gloomy.

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"I did not confess anything to you," said the prince, blushing. "I only answered your question."

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"Bravo! That’s frank, at any rate!" shouted Ferdishenko, and there was general laughter.

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"Oh prince, prince! I never should have thought it of you;" said General Epanchin. "And I imagined you a philosopher! Oh, you silent fellows!"

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"Judging from the fact that the prince blushed at this innocent joke, like a young girl, I should think that he must, as an honourable man, harbour the noblest intentions," said the old toothless schoolmaster, most unexpectedly; he had not so much as opened his mouth before. This remark provoked general mirth, and the old fellow himself laughed loudest of the lot, but ended with a stupendous fit of coughing.

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Nastasia Philipovna, who loved originality and drollery of all kinds, was apparently very fond of this old man, and rang the bell for more tea to stop his coughing. It was now half-past ten o’clock.

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"Gentlemen, wouldn’t you like a little champagne now?" she asked. "I have it all ready; it will cheer us up--do now--no ceremony!"

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This invitation to drink, couched, as it was, in such informal terms, came very strangely from Nastasia Philipovna. Her usual entertainments were not quite like this; there was more style about them. However, the wine was not refused; each guest took a glass excepting Gania, who drank nothing.

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It was extremely difficult to account for Nastasia’s strange condition of mind, which became more evident each moment, and which none could avoid noticing.

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She took her glass, and vowed she would empty it three times that evening. She was hysterical, and laughed aloud every other minute with no apparent reason--the next moment relapsing into gloom and thoughtfulness.

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Some of her guests suspected that she must be ill; but concluded at last that she was expecting something, for she continued to look at her watch impatiently and unceasingly; she was most absent and strange.

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"You seem to be a little feverish tonight," said the actress.

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"Yes; I feel quite ill. I have been obliged to put on this shawl --I feel so cold," replied Nastasia. She certainly had grown very pale, and every now and then she tried to suppress a trembling in her limbs.

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"Had we not better allow our hostess to retire?" asked Totski of the general.

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"Not at all, gentlemen, not at all! Your presence is absolutely necessary to me tonight," said Nastasia, significantly.

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As most of those present were aware that this evening a certain very important decision was to be taken, these words of Nastasia Philipovna’s appeared to be fraught with much hidden interest. The general and Totski exchanged looks; Gania fidgeted convulsively in his chair.

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"Let’s play at some game!" suggested the actress.

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"I know a new and most delightful game, added Ferdishenko.

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"What is it?" asked the actress.

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"Well, when we tried it we were a party of people, like this, for instance; and somebody proposed that each of us, without leaving his place at the table, should relate something about himself. It had to be something that he really and honestly considered the very worst action he had ever committed in his life. But he was to be honest--that was the chief point! He wasn’t to be allowed to lie."

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"What an extraordinary idea!" said the general.

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"That’s the beauty of it, general!"

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"It’s a funny notion," said Totski, "and yet quite natural--it’s only a new way of boasting."

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"Perhaps that is just what was so fascinating about it."

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"Why, it would be a game to cry over--not to laugh at!" said the actress.

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"Did it succeed?" asked Nastasia Philipovna. "Come, let’s try it, let’s try it; we really are not quite so jolly as we might be-- let’s try it! We may like it; it’s original, at all events!"

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"Yes," said Ferdishenko; "it’s a good idea--come along--the men begin. Of course no one need tell a story if he prefers to be disobliging. We must draw lots! Throw your slips of paper, gentlemen, into this hat, and the prince shall draw for turns. It’s a very simple game; all you have to do is to tell the story of the worst action of your life. It’s as simple as anything. I’ll prompt anyone who forgets the rules!"

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No one liked the idea much. Some smiled, some frowned some objected, but faintly, not wishing to oppose Nastasia’s wishes; for this new idea seemed to be rather well received by her. She was still in an excited, hysterical state, laughing convulsively at nothing and everything. Her eyes were blazing, and her cheeks showed two bright red spots against the white. The melancholy appearance of some of her guests seemed to add to her sarcastic humour, and perhaps the very cynicism and cruelty of the game proposed by Ferdishenko pleased her. At all events she was attracted by the idea, and gradually her guests came round to her side; the thing was original, at least, and might turn out to be amusing. "And supposing it’s something that one--one can’t speak about before ladies?" asked the timid and silent young man.

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"Why, then of course, you won’t say anything about it. As if there are not plenty of sins to your score without the need of those!" said Ferdishenko.

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"But I really don’t know which of my actions is the worst," said the lively actress.

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"Ladies are exempted if they like."

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"And how are you to know that one isn’t lying? And if one lies the whole point of the game is lost," said Gania.

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"Oh, but think how delightful to hear how one’s friends lie! Besides you needn’t be afraid, Gania; everybody knows what your worst action is without the need of any lying on your part. Only think, gentlemen,"--and Ferdishenko here grew quite enthusiastic, "only think with what eyes we shall observe one another tomorrow, after our tales have been told!"

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"But surely this is a joke, Nastasia Philipovna?" asked Totski. "You don’t really mean us to play this game."

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"Whoever is afraid of wolves had better not go into the wood," said Nastasia, smiling.

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"But, pardon me, Mr. Ferdishenko, is it possible to make a game out of this kind of thing?" persisted Totski, growing more and more uneasy. "I assure you it can’t be a success."

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"And why not? Why, the last time I simply told straight off about how I stole three roubles."

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"Perhaps so; but it is hardly possible that you told it so that it seemed like truth, or so that you were believed. And, as Gavrila Ardalionovitch has said, the least suggestion of a falsehood takes all point out of the game. It seems to me that sincerity, on the other hand, is only possible if combined with a kind of bad taste that would be utterly out of place here."

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"How subtle you are, Afanasy Ivanovitch! You astonish me," cried Ferdishenko. "You will remark, gentleman, that in saying that I could not recount the story of my theft so as to be believed, Afanasy Ivanovitch has very ingeniously implied that I am not capable of thieving--(it would have been bad taste to say so openly); and all the time he is probably firmly convinced, in his own mind, that I am very well capable of it! But now, gentlemen, to business! Put in your slips, ladies and gentlemen--is yours in, Mr. Totski? So--then we are all ready; now prince, draw, please." The prince silently put his hand into the hat, and drew the names. Ferdishenko was first, then Ptitsin, then the general, Totski next, his own fifth, then Gania, and so on; the ladies did not draw.

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"Oh, dear! oh, dear!" cried Ferdishenko. "I did so hope the prince would come out first, and then the general. Well, gentlemen, I suppose I must set a good example! What vexes me much is that I am such an insignificant creature that it matters nothing to anybody whether I have done bad actions or not! Besides, which am I to choose? It’s an embarras de richesse. Shall I tell how I became a thief on one occasion only, to convince Afanasy Ivanovitch that it is possible to steal without being a thief?"

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"Do go on, Ferdishenko, and don’t make unnecessary preface, or you’ll never finish," said Nastasia Philipovna. All observed how irritable and cross she had become since her last burst of laughter; but none the less obstinately did she stick to her absurd whim about this new game. Totski sat looking miserable enough. The general lingered over his champagne, and seemed to be thinking of some story for the time when his turn should come.

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