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白痴|The Idiot

Part 2 第4章|Part 2 Chapter 4

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 陀思妥耶夫斯基] 阅读：[21599]
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他们经过了公爵原先已经走过的房间；罗戈任稍走在前，公爵跟在他后面。他们走进了一间大厅。这里四周墙上挂着一些画，全是些主教的肖像画和风景画，但是画面已经模糊不清了。在通向接下来要经过的一个房间的门上方，挂着一幅样式很奇特的画，长两俄尺半左右，高无论如何也不超过六俄寸，上面画的是刚从十字架上取下来的救世主。公爵扫了一眼这张画，仿佛想起什么似的，但是他没有停留，想走进门去，他心里很沉重，想尽快离开这幢房子。但是罗戈任忽然在这幅画前停了下来。

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“所有这里这些画，”他说，“全是先父在拍卖行里花一个或两个卢布买下来的，他喜欢这些画。一个懂行的人把这里所有的画都一一看过，他说，是些低劣货。而这一幅，就是门上这幅画，也是花两个卢布买来的，他说不是低劣之作，居然有一个人寻觅这张画，还对父亲说，愿出三百五十卢布的价，而萨维利耶夫·伊万·德米特里奇，一个商人，是个非常喜欢画的人，出价到四百卢布，上个星期则向谢苗·谢苗内奇哥哥提议五百卢布买它。我留下自己要。”

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“噢，这……这是临摹汉斯·霍尔拜因的画，”公爵已经仔细看过这幅画，说，“虽然我不太在行，但是，我觉得这是很出色的一幅临摹画。我在国外看到过原画，便忘不了。但是……你怎么啦……”

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罗戈任突然撇下画，照原路向前走去。当然，心不在焉和突然表露出来的特别奇怪的焦躁情绪也许可以解释他这种突然的行为；但毕竟使公爵感到有点纳闷，并非由他开始的谈话就这么中断了，而且罗戈任甚至都没有回答他。

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“列夫·尼古拉伊奇，我早就想问，你信不信上帝。”走了几步，罗戈任忽然又说起话来。

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“你问得真怪，还有，……你看人的这种神情！”公爵不由地指出。

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“可我喜欢看这幅画，”罗戈任好像又忘了自己提出的问题，沉默了一会，然后低声说。

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“看这幅画！”公爵在一个猛地冒出的想法的支配下、忽然喊了起来：“看这幅画！有的人会因为这幅画而失去信仰！”

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“信仰是在失去，”出乎意外地罗戈任忽然肯定这一点，他们已经走到出去的那扇门口了。

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“怎么呢？，公爵忽然站住，“你说什么呀？我几乎是开玩笑说的，你却那么当真！你干吗要问信不信上帝？”

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“没什么，随便问问。我过去就想问。现在不是有许多人不信吗？有一个人喝醉了酒对我说。在我们俄罗斯不信上帝的人比所有别的地方要多，是真的吗？你在国外生活过，你说呢？他说，‘我们，在这点上比他们轻松些，因为我们走得比他们远……”

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罗戈任刻薄地笑了一下；说完自己的问题，他突然打开了门，抓住门锁的把手，等公爵走出去，公爵很惊奇，但还是走了出去。罗戈任跟在他后面走到楼梯口，在身后关上了门。两人面对面站着，那样子好像两人都忘了，要往哪儿走，现在该做什么。

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“再见，”公爵伸过手说。

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“再见，罗戈任紧紧地但完全是机械地握着公爵递给他的手，说。

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公爵走下一级，又转过身来。

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“说到信仰，”他莞尔一笑（他显然不想就这样留下罗戈任），此外也受到突如其来的回忆的影响而有了兴致，开始说，“说到信仰，我在上星期两天之内遇见过四个不同的人。早晨我乘一条新铁路线上的火车，四个小时都跟一个Ｃ先生坐在车厢里聊天，立即就熟识了。还在以前我就听说过有关他的许多事情，顺便说，那都是讲他是无神论者的事，他这个人确实很有学问，我也很高兴跟一个真正有学问的人谈话。而且，他是个少有的教养好的人，跟我谈话完全就像跟一个在知识水平和理解能力上跟他一样的人那样。他不信上帝。只是有一点使我惊讶：他仿佛根本不是谈那个问题，始终都是这样，之所以使我惊讶，是因为过去，不论我遇见过多少不信上帝的人，也不论我读过多少这种书，我总觉得，他们说的和他们在书上写的仿佛根本不是在谈那个问题，虽然表面上看来是不谈那个问题。当时我就向他谈出了这种感受，但是，想必我没有讲清楚或者不善于表达，因为他什么也不明白……晚上我在一家县城的旅馆里住宿，这家旅馆刚发生了一起杀人事件，就在我到的上一夜，大家都在谈论这件事，两个农民，都已有了点年纪、没有喝醉，彼此已经相知甚久，是好朋友，喝够茶以后，他们想一起睡一间斗室里，但是在最后两天，一个看见另一个有一块银表，系在穿着黄色玻璃珠子的细绳上，显然他过去不知道对方有表。这个人并不是小偷，甚至还很老实，就农民的生活来说根本不穷。但是这块表那样叫他喜爱，又那样诱惑他，最后，他就克制不住了：拿起了刀，等好朋友翻过身去后，他就从背后小心翼翼地走近去，把刀对准他的朋友，眼睛朝天，划着十字，痛苦地暗自祷告：‘主啊，看在基督面上宽恕我吧！’接着就像宰一头羊似的一下子把朋友杀了，掏走了那块表。”

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罗戈任纵声大笑。他笑得非常厉害，就像毛病发作似的。刚才他还怀着阴郁的情绪，现在看着他这样狂笑。甚至不由得让人感到奇怪。

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“我就喜欢这样！不，这是最精彩的了！”他痉挛一般喊道，几乎喘不过气来。“一个根本不信上帝，另一个却信到杀人还要祷告……不，公爵兄弟，这不是虚构杜撰！哈一哈一哈！不，这是最精彩的了！”

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“第二天早晨我在城里闲逛，”罗戈任一停下来，公爵就继续说，虽然痉挛的笑仍然阵阵发作，使罗戈任的双唇不住地哆嚏。“我看见，一个喝醉酒的士兵，样子十分邋蹋，跌跌冲冲在木头人行道上走着。他走到我跟前说，‘老爷，买了这个银十字架吧，２０戈比我就卖给您，是银的呀！’我看见他手中有一个十字架，大概刚从自己身上取下来，系在一根很脏的淡兰色带子上，但是一看就知道，只是真正的锡做的，大号的，有八端，有完整的拜占庭图画。我掏出２０戈比给了他，当即把十字架戴到自己身上。从他脸上看得出，他是多么得意，因为骗过了一个愚蠢的老爷，而且立即就拿十字回换来的钱去喝酒了，这是毋容置疑的。兄弟，回俄罗斯后向我涌来的一切，当时留给我十分强烈的印象；过去我对俄罗斯毫不了解，就像是个聋哑人似的，在国外这五年里常常有点带着幻想怀念着它。我一边走一边想：不。还是等一等再谴责这个出卖基督的人。上帝可是知道的，在这些醉醺醺的虚弱的心灵中包含着什么。过了一小时，在回旅馆的路上，我碰上了一个怀抱婴儿的女人。这女人还年轻，小孩刚六个星期。孩子朝她笑了一下，据她观察，这是他生下来第一次笑。我看到，她突然虔诚虔敬地划了个十字。‘你这是干什么，大嫂？’我说。（我那时什么都要问。）她说，‘这跟别的母亲一样，当她发现自己的小宝贝第一次微笑时，她会多么高兴，上帝也会这样，每次当他从天上看到有罪的凡人在他面前诚心诚意地祈祷，他也会这样高兴。’这是那个女人对我说的，差不多就是这么说的，她说出了这么深刻、这么细腻的真正是宗教的思想，一下子表达了基督教的全部实质，也就是这样一个概念：上帝就像我们的生身父亲，上帝因人而高兴犹如父亲”因自己的亲生孩子高兴一样，这就是塞督教最主要的思想！一个普通的乡下女人！真的，是个母亲……谁知道，也许这个女人就是那个士兵的妻子。听着，帕尔芬，你刚才问过我）我的回答是这样，宗教感情的实质与任何高谈阔论，与任何过错和犯罪，与任何无神论都不相于，这里好像不是那么回事，而且永远不是那么回事；这里似乎是这么回事：有关它的问题各种各样的无神论将永远只是一滑而过，将永远说不到要点上。但主要的是，在俄罗斯人的心灵上可以最明显，最快地发现这一点，这就是我的结论！这是我从我们俄罗斯得出的最早的信念之一。要做的事情有的是，帕尔芬！在我们俄罗斯这块天地里大有事情可做，相信我！你回想一下在莫斯科有一段时间我们常碰头和谈天的情景……现在我根本不想回到这里来！根本不想这样跟你见面，根本不想！算了，说这干什么！……告辞了，再见！愿上帝不会撇下你！”

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他转过身，开始下搂梯。

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“列夫·尼古拉耶维奇！”当公爵走到楼梯第一处拐弯的小平台时，帕尔芬在上面喊他，“你向士兵买的那个十字架，是不是带在身上？”

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“是的，我戴着。”

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公爵又停了下来。

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“到这里来拿出来看看。”

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又是新奇事儿！公爵想了想，又朝上走，把自己的十字架拿出来给他看，但是没有从脖子上取下来。

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“给我吧，”罗戈任说。

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“为什么？难道你……”

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公爵不想割舍这个十字架。

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“我要戴它，我把自己的拿下来给你，你戴。”

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“你想交换十字架？既然这样，帕尔芬，请拿去吧，我很高兴；我们做弟兄吧！”

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公爵摘下了自己的锡十字架，帕尔芬则取下了自己的金十字架，互相交换了。帕尔芬沉默不语。公爵带着沉重而又惊讶的心情发觉，过去的不信任，过去那种近乎嘲笑的苦笑似乎依然没有从他结拜兄弟脸上消失，至少有好儿回一瞬间中强烈地流露出来。最后，罗戈任默默地握着公爵的手，站了一会，仿佛下不了决心做什么，末了，忽然拽住公爵，用勉强听得见的声音说：“我们走。”他们穿过一楼的平台，在他们刚才走出来的那扇门对面的门旁打了铃。很快就有人力他们开了门，一个系头巾，穿一身黑衣服的驼背老妇人默默地低低地向罗戈任鞠着躬；他则很快地问她什么，也不停下来听回答，继续带公爵走过污间。他们又走过一个个幽暗的房间，那里有一种异常的、冷静的洁净，蒙着清洁白套子的古老家具透出一种寒森森、阴沉沉的感觉。罗戈任未经通报，径直把公爵带到一间像是客厅的不大的房间，那里隔着一道闪亮的红木板壁，两侧各有一扇门，板壁后面大概是卧室。在客厅角落里，桌子旁边，有一位小个子老太坐在扶手倚里，从外貌来看她还不算很老，甚至还有一张相当健康、讨喜的圆脸，但是已经满头银丝，而且一眼就可以断定她患有老年痴呆症。她穿着黑。色毛料衣裙，脖子上围着一条黑色大围巾，头戴一顶有黑色丝带的洁白的包发帽。她的脚搁在一张小樊上。她身旁还有一位整洁干净的老太婆，比她还老，她穿着丧服，也戴着白色发帽，想必是寡居这里的，她默默地织着袜子。她们俩大概一直默默无语。第一个老太一看见罗戈任和公爵，就朝他们笑了一下，并好几次朝他们亲切地点头表示高兴。

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“妈妈，”罗戈任吻了她的手，说，“这是我的好朋友，列夫·尼古拉那多奇·梅什金公爵，我跟他交换了十字架，在莫斯科有一段时间他对于我来说就像是亲兄弟，为我做了许多事，妈妈，为他祝福吧，就像为你亲生儿子祝福一样。等等，老妈妈，是这样，让我来帮你把手指捏忏……”

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但是帕尔芬还没有动手以前，老太婆就抬起自己的右手，聚拢三个手指头，为公爵虔诚地划了三次十字。后来又一次朝他亲切和温柔地点了点头。

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“好，我们走吧，列夫·尼古拉耶维奇，”帕尔芬说，“我就是为此才带你来的……”

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当他们又来到楼梯口的时候，他补充说：

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“瞧她根本就不明白人家说什么，也丝毫不懂我的话，可是却为你祝福了这就是说，是她自己愿意的……好了，再见吧，我和你都到该分手的时候了。”

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他打开了自己的门。

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“让我至少拥抱你一下作为告别吧，你真是个奇怪的人！”公爵含着温和的责备望着罗戈任大声说，并且想要拥抱他。但是帕尔芬刚抬起双手，立刻又放下了。他没有决心，并且转过身去，免得看着公爵。他不想拥抱他。

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“不要怕！我虽然拿了你的十字架，但不会为了表而杀了你！”他不知为什么奇怪地笑着，含混不清地嘟哝说。但是，忽然他的脸整个儿变了样：脸色白得吓人，双唇哆嗦着，眼睛熠熠发光。他抬起双手，紧紧地拥抱了公爵，喘着气说：

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“你就把她拿去吧，既然命运是这样！她是你的！我让给你……记住罗戈任！”

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他撇下公爵，也不朝他看一眼，匆匆走进自己房间，砰的一声在身后关上了门。

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THEY passed through the same rooms which the prince had traversed on his arrival. In the largest there were pictures on the walls, portraits and landscapes of little interest. Over the door, however, there was one of strange and rather striking shape; it was six or seven feet in length, and not more than a foot in height. It represented the Saviour just taken from the cross.

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The prince glanced at it, but took no further notice. He moved on hastily, as though anxious to get out of the house. But Rogojin suddenly stopped underneath the picture.

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"My father picked up all these pictures very cheap at auctions, and so on," he said; "they are all rubbish, except the one over the door, and that is valuable. A man offered five hundred roubles for it last week."

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"Yes--that’s a copy of a Holbein," said the prince, looking at it again, "and a good copy, too, so far as I am able to judge. I saw the picture abroad, and could not forget it--what’s the matter?"

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Rogojin had dropped the subject of the picture and walked on. Of course his strange frame of mind was sufficient to account for his conduct; but, still, it seemed queer to the prince that he should so abruptly drop a conversation commenced by himself. Rogojin did not take any notice of his question.

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"Lef Nicolaievitch," said Rogojin, after a pause, during which the two walked along a little further, "I have long wished to ask you, do you believe in God?"

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"How strangely you speak, and how odd you look!" said the other, involuntarily.

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"I like looking at that picture," muttered Rogojin, not noticing, apparently, that the prince had not answered his question.

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"That picture! That picture!" cried Muishkin, struck by a sudden idea. "Why, a man’s faith might be ruined by looking at that picture!"

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"So it is!" said Rogojin, unexpectedly. They had now reached the front door.

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The prince stopped.

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"How?" he said. "What do you mean? I was half joking, and you took me up quite seriously! Why do you ask me whether I believe in God

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"Oh, no particular reason. I meant to ask you before--many people are unbelievers nowadays, especially Russians, I have been told. You ought to know--you’ve lived abroad."

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Rogojin laughed bitterly as he said these words, and opening the door, held it for the prince to pass out. Muishkin looked surprised, but went out. The other followed him as far as the landing of the outer stairs, and shut the door behind him. They both now stood facing one another, as though oblivious of where they were, or what they had to do next.

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"Well, good-bye!" said the prince, holding out his hand.

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"Good-bye," said Rogojin, pressing it hard, but quite mechanically.

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The prince made one step forward, and then turned round.

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"As to faith," he said, smiling, and evidently unwilling to leave Rogojin in this state--"as to faith, I had four curious conversations in two days, a week or so ago. One morning I met a man in the train, and made acquaintance with him at once. I had often heard of him as a very learned man, but an atheist; and I was very glad of the opportunity of conversing with so eminent and clever a person. He doesn’t believe in God, and he talked a good deal about it, but all the while it appeared to me that he was speaking OUTSIDE THE SUBJECT. And it has always struck me, both in speaking to such men and in reading their books, that they do not seem really to be touching on that at all, though on the surface they may appear to do so. I told him this, but I dare say I did not clearly express what I meant, for he could not understand me.

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"That same evening I stopped at a small provincial hotel, and it so happened that a dreadful murder had been committed there the night before, and everybody was talking about it. Two peasants-- elderly men and old friends--had had tea together there the night before, and were to occupy the same bedroom. They were not drunk but one of them had noticed for the first time that his friend possessed a silver watch which he was wearing on a chain. He was by no means a thief, and was, as peasants go, a rich man; but this watch so fascinated him that he could not restrain himself. He took a knife, and when his friend turned his back, he came up softly behind, raised his eyes to heaven, crossed himself, and saying earnestly--’God forgive me, for Christ’s sake!’ he cut his friend’s throat like a sheep, and took the watch."

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Rogojin roared with laughter. He laughed as though he were in a sort of fit. It was strange to see him laughing so after the sombre mood he had been in just before.

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"Oh, I like that! That beats anything!" he cried convulsively, panting for breath. "One is an absolute unbeliever; the other is such a thorough--going believer that he murders his friend to the tune of a prayer! Oh, prince, prince, that’s too good for anything! You can’t have invented it. It’s the best thing I’ve heard!"

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"Next morning I went out for a stroll through the town," continued the prince, so soon as Rogojin was a little quieter, though his laughter still burst out at intervals, "and soon observed a drunken-looking soldier staggering about the pavement. He came up to me and said, ’Buy my silver cross, sir! You shall have it for fourpence--it’s real silver.’ I looked, and there he held a cross, just taken off his own neck, evidently, a large tin one, made after the Byzantine pattern. I fished out fourpence, and put his cross on my own neck, and I could see by his face that he was as pleased as he could be at the thought that he had succeeded in cheating a foolish gentleman, and away he went to drink the value of his cross. At that time everything that I saw made a tremendous impression upon me. I had understood nothing about Russia before, and had only vague and fantastic memories of it. So I thought, ’I will wait awhile before I condemn this Judas. Only God knows what may be hidden in the hearts of drunkards.’

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"Well, I went homewards, and near the hotel I came across a poor woman, carrying a child--a baby of some six weeks old. The mother was quite a girl herself. The baby was smiling up at her, for the first time in its life, just at that moment; and while I watched the woman she suddenly crossed herself, oh, so devoutly! ’What is it, my good woman I asked her. (I was never but asking questions then!) Exactly as is a mother’s joy when her baby smiles for the first time into her eyes, so is God’s joy when one of His children turns and prays to Him for the first time, with all his heart!’ This is what that poor woman said to me, almost word for word; and such a deep, refined, truly religious thought it was--a thought in which the whole essence of Christianity was expressed in one flash--that is, the recognition of God as our Father, and of God’s joy in men as His own children, which is the chief idea of Christ. She was a simple country-woman--a mother, it’s true-- and perhaps, who knows, she may have been the wife of the drunken soldier!

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"Listen, Parfen; you put a question to me just now. This is my reply. The essence of religious feeling has nothing to do with reason, or atheism, or crime, or acts of any kind--it has nothing to do with these things--and never had. There is something besides all this, something which the arguments of the atheists can never touch. But the principal thing, and the conclusion of my argument, is that this is most clearly seen in the heart of a Russian. This is a conviction which I have gained while I have been in this Russia of ours. Yes, Parfen! there is work to be done; there is work to be done in this Russian world! Remember what talks we used to have in Moscow! And I never wished to come here at all; and I never thought to meet you like this, Parfen! Well, well--good-bye--good-bye! God be with you!"

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He turned and went downstairs.

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"Lef Nicolaievitch!" cried Parfen, before he had reached the next landing. "Have you got that cross you bought from the soldier with you?"

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"Yes, I have," and the prince stopped again.

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"Show it me, will you?"

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A new fancy! The prince reflected, and then mounted the stairs once more. He pulled out the cross without taking it off his neck.

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"Give it to me," said Parfen.

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"Why? do you--"

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The prince would rather have kept this particular cross.

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"I’ll wear it; and you shall have mine. I’ll take it off at once."

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"You wish to exchange crosses? Very well, Parfen, if that’s the case, I’m glad enough--that makes us brothers, you know."

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The prince took off his tin cross, Parfen his gold one, and the exchange was made.

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Parfen was silent. With sad surprise the prince observed that the look of distrust, the bitter, ironical smile, had still not altogether left his newly-adopted brother’s face. At moments, at all events, it showed itself but too plainly,

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At last Rogojin took the prince’s hand, and stood so for some moments, as though he could not make up his mind. Then he drew him along, murmuring almost inaudibly,

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"Come!"

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They stopped on the landing, and rang the bell at a door opposite to Parfen’s own lodging.

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An old woman opened to them and bowed low to Parfen, who asked her some questions hurriedly, but did not wait to hear her answer. He led the prince on through several dark, cold-looking rooms, spotlessly clean, with white covers over all the furniture.

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"There, come along, Lef Nicolaievitch; that’s all I brought you here for," said Rogojin.

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When they reached the stairs again he added:

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