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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 1 第25章|Part 1 Chapter 25

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读：[44656]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德，他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说，以至于放弃家业，用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子，再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从，三次出征周游全国，去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话，到处碰壁受辱，堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤，有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后，他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞，临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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怪事，以及他仿效贝尔特内夫

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罗斯的苦修行

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唐吉诃德告别牧羊人，又骑上罗西南多，让桑乔跟着他。桑乔很不情愿地跟着他走了。两人渐渐来到了山上的最崎岖之处。桑乔很想同主人聊聊天，但又想让主人先开口，这样就不会违反唐吉诃德的命令了。最后他实在忍不住了，说：“唐吉诃德大人，请您行行好，开开恩。现在我想回家去，找我的老婆孩子。我同他们至少还可以随心所欲地说说话。您让我跟您日夜兼程，在荒郊野岭奔走，想跟您说话的时候还不能说，这简直是活埋我。如果命运让动物能说话，就像吉索①那时候一样，那还好点儿，至少我想说话的时候还可以同我的驴说说话，遇到不顺心的事情时，心里也好受些。可是整天到处征险，得到的却是挨脚踢，让人用被单扔，还有石头砸，拳头打，除此之外还得闭上嘴，心里有话不敢说，像个哑巴似的，这真让人受不了。”

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①桑乔此处想说的是著名寓言家伊索。

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“我明白了，桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“你受不了啦，想让我解除对你嘴巴的禁令。现在禁令解除了，你想说什么就说吧。不过有个条件，这次解除禁令只限于我们在这座山上行走的时候。”

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“既然这样，”桑乔说，“我现在就开始说话了，以后的事谁知道会怎么样呢。一开始享受这项特许，我就要说，您何必那么偏袒那个马吉马萨①或者随便叫什么名字的女王呢？还有，您管那个阿瓦特是不是她的情人呢。您又不是法官。如果您不理他，我相信这个疯子会把他的故事讲下去，咱们也不会挨石头打，挨脚踢，再饶上那至少六巴掌。”

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①桑乔在这里把马达西马错说成马吉马萨，在下一句把埃利萨瓦特错说成阿瓦特了。

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“桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“你要是像我一样知道马达西马女王是位多么高贵的夫人，你就会说我多有耐心了，因为我没把他那张胡说八道的嘴打烂。别说用嘴讲，仅仅想到一位女王竟会同一个医生姘居，就是一种极大的亵渎。事实上，疯子说的那个埃利萨瓦特大夫很规矩，是个好谋士。他是女王的教师和大夫。可要是把女王当成他的情人，那纯粹是捕风捉影，理当受到严惩。你应该注意到，连卡德尼奥都不知道自己说了什么。他说这话的时候，神经并不正常。”

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“我也这么说，”桑乔说，“所以，没有必要去理会一个疯子的话。还算您走运，要是石头没打在您胸上，而是打在您脑袋上，咱们可就为维护女王的名誉受罪了，那真是老天瞎了眼。至于那个疯子，还是让他疯吧！”

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“不论是在正常人还是在疯子面前，游侠骑士都有义务维护女人的声誉，不管是谁，更何况是像马达西马这样尊贵的女王呢。我对马达西马女王的高尚品质有着特别的好感，不仅因为她漂亮，还因为她品行端正，饱经磨难，她受过很多苦。埃利萨瓦特医生的教诲和陪伴对她很有益处，减轻了她的痛苦，她才得以耐心谨慎地度过难关。那个无知的乡巴佬别有用心地利用这点，不仅猜疑而且传说她是大夫的情妇，真是无稽之谈。我再说一遍，即使他们再重复两百遍，他们想的和说的也还是无稽之谈。”

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“我不这么说，也不这么想。”桑乔说，“他们做他们的事，大家‘各扫自家门前雪，莫管他人瓦上霜’。他们是不是情人，只有上帝明白，‘我走我路全不知’。我不喜欢打听别人的生活。‘拿了东西不认帐，钱包里面最有数’。‘我来世至今赤条条，不亏也不赚’，天塌地陷与我何干？‘以为有便宜占，结果扑个空’。‘别人的嘴谁能管，上帝还被瞎扯谈’呢！”

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“上帝保佑，”唐吉诃德说，“你哪儿来的这堆胡话，桑乔！你讲这堆俏皮话跟咱们说的事情有什么关系？我的天哪！桑乔，你住嘴吧。从现在起，你管好你自己的事，与咱们无关的事你不要做。你听清楚，我过去、现在和将来做的事都自有它的道理，完全符合骑士规则。在这方面，我比世界上所有游侠骑士了解得还清楚。”

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“大人，”桑乔说，“咱们在这既没有道也没有路的山上漫无目的地走，寻找一个疯子，也是骑士规则的规定吗？咱们就是找到了疯子，说不定他还要结束他没有完成的事情呢，那倒不是讲故事，而是把您的脑袋和我的肋骨全部打烂！”

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“住嘴，我再跟你说一遍，桑乔。”唐吉诃德说，“我告诉你，我到这儿来不仅是要找到那个疯子，而且还要在这儿做番事业，以求在整个大地上留名千古，留芳百世。我要以此完成使游侠骑士一举成名的全部事情。”

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“那番事业很危险吗？”桑乔问。

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“不，”唐吉诃德一副猥獕的样子回答，“我们掷骰子时如果没有彩头，掷了坏点，倒有可能走运。不过，这全都看你机灵不机灵了。”

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“看我机灵不机灵？”桑乔问。

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“对，”唐吉诃德说，“如果你马上回到我派你去的那个地方，我的苦难马上就会结束，我的荣耀马上也就开始了。别这么傻等着听我说，这不合适。我想告诉你，桑乔，著名的高卢的阿马迪斯是世界上一位最优秀的游侠骑士。我说他是‘一位’不准确，他在那个时代是世界上仅有的、空前绝后的真正骑士。唐贝利亚尼斯和其他所有那些自称可以在某方面与他相提并论的人都纯粹是胡说八道，而且自欺欺人，我发誓是这样。我还要说，一个画家如果想在艺术上出名，就得尽力临摹他所知道的几位独到画家的原作。这个规律适用于所有可以为国争光的重要职业。谁要想得到谨言慎行、忍辱负重的名声，就应该和必须这样做，就得学习尤利西斯①。荷马通过介绍他的人和事，已经为我们勾画出了一个活生生的谨言慎行、忍辱负重的形象。维吉尔也通过埃涅阿斯②的形象描述了一个可怜孩子的坚毅和一位勇敢机智的领袖的精明。他们并没有按照这些人的本来面貌描述这些人，而是把这些人写成他们应该成为的那种样子，以供后人学习。

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①尤利西斯是罗马神话中的称呼，在希腊神话中称为奥德修斯，以勇敢、机智和狡猾闻名。

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②维吉尔著名史诗《埃涅阿斯纪》中的王子，曾与迦太基女王狄多有过爱情。

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“阿马迪斯同时也是勇敢多情的骑士们的北斗星、启明星或太阳。我们所有集合在爱情和骑士大旗之下的人都应该学习他。既然如此，桑乔朋友，我作为游侠骑士，当然越是仿效他，就越接近于一个完美的骑士。有一件事特别表现了这位骑士的谨慎、刚毅、勇气、忍耐、坚定和爱情，那就是他受到奥里亚娜夫人冷淡后，到‘卑岩’去苦苦修行，把自己的名字改成贝尔特内夫罗斯。这个名字意味深长，很适合他自己选择的这种生活。对于我来说，在这方面仿效他，就比仿效劈杀巨人、斩断蛇头、杀戮怪物、打败军队、破除魔法要容易得多了。在这个地方做这些事情可是再也合适不过了。

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天赐良机，我没有必要放弃这个机会。”

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“可是，”桑乔说，“您到底要在偏僻的地方干什么？”

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“我不是对你说过了嘛，”唐吉诃德说，“我要仿效阿马迪斯，在这里扮成一个绝望、愚蠢、疯狂的人。同时，我还要模仿英勇的罗尔丹。罗尔丹在泉边发现了美女安杰丽嘉和梅多罗干丑事的迹象，难过得气疯了。他拔出大树，搅浑了清泉，杀死牧人，毁坏畜群，焚烧茅草房，推倒房屋，拖走母马，还做了其他不计其数的狂暴之事，值得大书特书，载入史册。罗尔丹或奥兰多或罗托兰多，这三个名字都是他一个人，我并不想对他所做、所说、所想的全部疯狂之举逐一仿效，只想大体把我认为是最关键的东西模仿下来。其实，只要模仿阿马迪斯就足以让我满意了。他不进行疯狂的破坏，只是伤感地哭泣，也像其他做了很多破坏之事的人一样获得了名望。”

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桑乔说：“我觉得这类骑士都是受了刺激，另有原因才去办傻事、苦修行的。可您为什么要变疯呢？哪位夫人鄙夷您了？您又发现了什么迹象，让您觉得托博索的杜尔西内亚夫人同摩尔人或基督教徒做了什么对不起您的事？”

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“这就是关键所在，”唐吉诃德说，“也是我这么做的绝妙之处。一个游侠骑士确有缘故地变疯就没意思了，关键就在于要无缘无故地发疯。我的贵夫人要是知道我为疯而疯，会怎么样呢？况且，我离开托博索的杜尔西内亚夫人已经很长时间了，这就是充足的理由。就像你以前听到的那个牧羊人安布罗西奥，没有同情人在一起，他就疾病缠身，忧心忡忡。所以，桑乔朋友，你不必费时间劝阻我进行这次罕见的幸福的仿效了。我是疯子，一直疯到托你送封信给我的杜尔西内亚夫人，并且等你带来她的回信时为止。如果她对我依然忠诚，我的疯癫和修行就会结束。否则，我就真疯了。即使疯了，我也毫无怨言。你拿来回信时，我如果没疯，就会结束这场折磨，为你给我带来的佳音而高兴。我如果疯了，也不会为你带来的坏消息而痛苦。不过，你告诉我，桑乔，你还保留着曼布里诺的那个头盔吧？我看见你把它捡起来了。那个忘恩负义的家伙想把它摔碎，可是没能摔碎。从这件事可以看出你的细心。”

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桑乔回答说：

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“我的上帝哟！猥獕骑士大人，您说的一些东西我实在受不了。一提到这些，我就想起您说的所有关于骑士的事情，什么得到王国或帝国，什么按照游侠骑士的习惯给予岛屿或其它恩赐，全都是空话谎话，都是胡咒，或是咱们说的胡诌。如果有人听见您把理发师的铜盆说成是曼布里诺的头盔，而且很多天不认错，会怎么想呢？准得说讲这话的人脑子有毛病。铜盆就放在口袋里，全瘪了。要是上帝保佑，能让我见到老婆孩子，我就把它带回家去修理一下，刮胡子用。”

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“你看，桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“就像你以前发誓一样，我也发誓，无论过去还是现在，你都是世界上最没有头脑的侍从！怎么，你跟我在一起这么长时间，难道就没有发现，游侠骑士的所有事情都像是幻境、蠢事、抽疯，都是不顺当的吗？其实不是这样，只是有一帮魔法师在咱们周围，把咱们所有的东西都变了，然后再根据他们是帮助咱们还是给咱们捣乱的意图任意变回。所以，你认为是理发师铜盆的那个东西，在我看来就是曼布里诺的头盔。在别人眼里，它是别的东西。那是魔法师特别照顾我，让大家都认为那是铜盆，其实是地地道道的曼布里诺头盔。原因就在于：如果大家都知道那是非常珍贵的东西，一定会追着我想夺走它；可如果看到它只不过是个理发师的铜盆，就不会去抢它了。那个人想把它摔碎，又把它丢在地上，这就是明证。如果那个人认出它来，绝对不会放过它。你留着它吧，朋友，我现在还不需要它。而且我还得脱去这身甲胃，像出生时那样赤条条的，假如我想模仿罗尔丹，而不是学阿马迪斯的样子修行的话。”

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说着话，他们来到一座高山脚下，那座山陡得简直像一块巨石的断面，四面环山，唯它孤峰独立。山坡上，一条小溪蜿蜒流淌，萦绕着一块绿色草地。草地上野树成林，又有花草点衬，十分幽静。猥獕骑士选择了这个地方修行。他一见此景就像真疯了似的高声喊道：

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“天啊，我就选择这块地方为你给我带来的不幸哭泣。在这里，我的泪滴将涨满这小溪里的流水，我的不断的深沉叹息将时时摇曳这些野树的树叶，以显示我心灵饱受煎熬的痛苦。哦，在这杳无人烟的地方栖身的山神呀，你们听听这位不幸情人的哀叹吧。他与情人别离多时，猜忌使他来到这陡峻之地，为那背信弃义的绝世佳丽仰天唏嘘。噢，森林女神们，轻浮淫荡的森林男神对你们的徒劳追求，从来没能扰乱你们的和谐宁静，可现在，请你们为我的不幸而哀叹吧，至少烦劳你们听听我的不幸吧。噢，托博索的杜尔西内亚，你是我黑夜中的白昼，你是我苦难中的欢欣，你是我引路的北斗星，你是我命运的主宰。求老天保佑你称心如意。你看看吧，没有你，我就落到了这种地步，但愿你不要辜负我对你的一片忠诚。形影相吊的大树啊，请你从现在起陪伴着孤独的我吧。请你轻轻地摆动树枝，表示你不厌弃我在此地吧。噢，还有你，我可爱的侍从，休戚与共的伙伴，请你记住你在这里看到的一切，告诉她吧，这一切都是为了她！”

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说完唐吉诃德翻身下马，给马摘下嚼子，卸下马鞍，在马的臀部拍了一巴掌，说：

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“失去了自由的人现在给你自由，我的战绩卓著却又命运不济的马！你随意去吧，你的脑门上已经刻写着：无论是阿斯托尔福的伊波格里福，还是布拉达曼特付出巨大代价才得到的弗龙蒂诺，都不如你迅捷。”

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桑乔见状说：

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“多谢有人把咱们从为灰驴卸鞍的活计里解脱出来，也用不着再拍它几下，给它点吃的来表扬它了。不过，假如灰驴还在这儿，我不会允许任何人为它卸鞍，不为什么。它就像我这个主人一样，没有热恋和失望。上帝喜欢它。说实话，猥獕骑士大人，如果当真我要走，您真要疯，最好还是给罗西南多再备好鞍，让它代替我那头驴，这样我往返可以节省不少时间。如果我走着去，走着回，不知道什么时候才能到，什么时候才能回。反正一句话，我走得慢。”

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“我说桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“随便你，我觉得你的主意不错。不过，你过三天再走吧。我想让你看看我为她所做所说的，以便你告诉她。”

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“还有什么好看的，”桑乔说，“我不是都看见了吗？”

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“你说得倒好！”唐吉诃德说，“现在还差把衣服撕碎，把盔甲乱扔，把脑袋往石头上撞，以及其他一些事情，让你开开眼呢。”

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“上帝保佑，”桑乔说，“您看，这样的石头怎么能用脑袋去撞呢？石头这么硬，只要撞一下，整个修行计划就算完了。依我看，您要是觉得有必要撞，在这儿修行不撞不行，那就假装撞几下，开开心，就行了。往水里，或者什么软东西，例如棉花上撞撞就行了。这事您就交给我吧。我去跟您的夫人说，您撞的是块比金刚石还硬的尖石头。”

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“我感谢你的好意，桑乔朋友，”唐吉诃德说，“不过我想你该知道，我做的这些事情不是开玩笑，是真的，否则就违反了骑士规则。骑士规则让我们不要撒谎，撒谎就得受到严惩，而以一件事代替另一件事就等于撒谎。所以，我用头撞石头必须是真的，实实在在的，不折不扣的，不能耍一点滑头，装模作样。你倒是有必要给我留下点儿纱布包伤口，因为咱们倒了霉把圣水丢了。”

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“最糟糕的就是丢了驴，”桑乔说，“旧纱布和所有东西也跟着丢了。我求您别再提那该诅咒的圣水了。我一听说它就浑身都难受，胃尤其不舒服。我还求求您，您原来让我等三天，看您抽疯。现在您就当三天已经过去了，那些事情我都看到了，该做的也都做了。我会在夫人面前夸奖您的。您赶紧写好信给我吧，我想早点儿回来，让您从这个受罪的地方解脱出来。”

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“你说是受罪地方，桑乔？”唐吉诃德说，“你还不如说这儿是地狱呢。若是有不如地狱的地方，你还会说这儿不如地狱呢。”

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“我听说，‘进了地狱，赎罪晚矣’。”桑乔说。

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“我不明白什么是赎罪。”唐吉诃德说。

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“赎罪就是说，进了地狱的人永远不出来了，也出不来了。您的情况就不一样了。我腿脚不好，如果骑着罗西南多快马加鞭，很快就会赶到托博索的杜尔西内亚夫人那儿，把您在这儿已经做和正在做的疯事傻事糊涂事，反正都是一回事，告诉她。她就是硬得像棵树，我也得叫她心肠软下来。拿到温情甜蜜的回信，我马上就回来，让您从这个像是地狱又不是地狱的受苦地方解脱出来。现在您还有希望出来。我说过，地狱里的人是没希望出来了。我觉得您对此也不会不同意吧。”

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“那倒是，”唐吉诃德说，“可现在咱们拿什么写信呢？”

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“还要写取驴的条子。”桑乔补充道。

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“都得写。”唐吉诃德说，“既然没有纸，咱们完全可以像古人一样，写在树叶或蜡板上。然而，这些东西现在也像纸一样难找。不过我倒想起来，最好，而且是再好不过的，就是写在卡德尼奥的笔记本上。你记着无论到什么地方，只要一碰到学校的老师，就请他帮忙抄到纸上。如果碰不到教师，随便哪一位教堂司事都可以帮忙。不过，不要让书记员抄，他们总连写，连鬼都认不出来。”

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“那签名怎么办呢？”桑乔问。

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“阿马迪斯的信从来不签名。”唐吉诃德说。

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“好吧，”桑乔说，“不过，取驴的条子一定得签。如果那是抄写的，别人就会说签名是假的，我就得不到驴了。”

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“条子也写在笔记本上，我签名。我的外甥女看到它，肯定会照办，不会为难你。至于情书，你就替我签上‘至死忠贞的猥獕骑士’吧。这个让别人写没关系，因为我记得，杜尔西内亚不会写字，也不识字，而且她从来没见过我的字体，也没见过我的信。我们的爱情一直是柏拉图式的，最多只是规规矩矩地看一眼。即使这样，我敢发誓，实际上，十二年来，尽管我对她望眼欲穿，见她也只不过四次，而且很可能就是这四次，她也没有一次发现我在看她。是她父亲洛伦索·科丘埃洛和母亲阿尔东萨·诺加莱斯把她教育得这么安分拘谨。”

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“啊哈，”桑乔说，“原来托博索的杜尔西内亚夫人就是洛伦索·科丘埃洛的女儿呀。她是不是还叫阿尔东萨·洛伦索？”

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“就是她。”唐吉诃德说，“她可以说是世界第一夫人。”

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“我很了解她，”桑乔说，“听说她掷铁棒①抵得上全村最棒的小伙子。我的天哪，她真是个地地道道的壮妇！哪个游侠骑士要是娶了她，即使掉进淤泥里，也能让她薅着胡子揪出来！我的妈呀，她的嗓门可真大！听说有一次，她在村里的钟楼上喊几个正在她父亲的地里干活的雇工。虽然干活的地方离钟楼有半西里远，可雇工们就好像在钟楼脚下听她喊似的。她最大的优点就是丝毫不矫揉造作，很随和，到哪儿都开玩笑，做鬼脸，说俏皮话。现在我得说，猥獕骑士大人，您为了她不仅可以而且应该发疯，甚至光明正大地绝望上吊！凡是听说您上吊的人都会说，即使被魔鬼带走，您自缢也是太对了。我现在得专程去看看她。已经很长时间没看见她了，大概她也变样了。在地里干活，风吹日晒，女人的脸是很容易变老的。

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①西班牙的一种运动和游戏。

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“我承认，唐吉诃德大人，我原来对此一直一无所知，真的以为您热恋的杜尔西内亚夫人是位公主或什么贵人呢，所以您才给她送去像比斯开人、苦役犯那样的贵重礼物。在我还没给您当侍从的时候，您大概还打过许多胜仗，估计也送了不少礼物吧。不过我想，您派去或者您将派去的那些战败者跪倒在阿尔东萨·洛伦索，我是说杜尔西内亚夫人面前的时候，情况会怎么样呢？因为很可能在那些人赶到那儿时，她正在梳麻或者在打谷场上脱粒，那些人会茫然失措，她也一定会觉得这种礼物又可气又好笑。”

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“我对你说过不知多少次了，桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“你的话真多。尽管你头脑发木，却常常自作聪明。我给你讲个小故事，你就知道你有多死心眼，我有多聪明了。有个年轻漂亮的寡妇，人开化，又有钱，还特别放荡。她爱上了一个又高又壮的杂役僧。杂役僧的上司知道后，有一天善意地规劝这位善良的寡妇，说：‘夫人，我感到非常意外，而且也有理由感到意外，就是像您这样高贵、漂亮而又富有的夫人，怎么会爱上这么一个蠢笨、低下而又无知的人呢？这儿有那么多讲经师、神学教师和神学家，您完全可以尽情挑选，说‘喜欢这个，不要那个’。可是寡妇却很风趣而又厚颜无耻地回答：‘您错了，我的大人。如果您以为他很笨，我选择他选择错了，您就太守旧了。至于我为什么喜欢他，他比谁都清楚。’我也一样，桑乔，我爱杜尔西内亚如同爱世界上最高贵的公主。并不是所有按照自己的意志给夫人冠以名字，并加以称颂的诗人都确有夫人。你想想，书籍、歌谣、理发店、剧院里充斥的什么阿玛里莉、菲丽、西尔维娅、迪亚娜、加拉特娅、菲丽达和其它名字，都确有其人，都是那些歌颂者的夫人吗？并不是真有，只是把她们当作讴歌的对象，让人们以为自己恋爱了，而且他们有资格热恋。所以，我只要当真认为善良的阿尔东萨·洛伦索是位漂亮尊贵的夫人就行了。她的门第无关紧要，不用去了解她的家世，给她什么身份。我在心目中把她想象成世界上最高贵的公主。

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“如果你还不明白的话，你应该知道，桑乔，热恋中最动人的两样东西就是美貌和美名。杜尔西内亚这两样东西俱佳。论美貌，无人能与之相比；论美名，多数人远不能及。总之，我觉得我说得恰如其分，并且是按照我的意愿对她的相貌和品德进行想象。海伦①逊她一筹，卢克雷蒂娅②为之失色，无论是古代、希腊时代、野蛮时代还是拉丁时代，没有一个著名女人能够超过她。随便别人怎样说，无知的人会由此而非议我，严肃的人却不会因此而指责我。”

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①海伦是希腊神话中的美人。

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②卢克雷蒂娅传说中的古罗马烈女，被罗马暴君之子塞克斯图斯奸污后，要求父亲和丈夫为她复仇，随即自杀。

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“您说得有道理，”桑乔说，“我笨得简直像头驴。我怎么又提起驴来了？真是哪壶不开提哪壶。您把信拿来，我该走了。”

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唐吉诃德拿出笔记本，退到一旁，十分平静地写起信来。写完后，唐吉诃德就叫桑乔，说想把信念给他听，让他背下来，以防路上万一丢了信，要知道命途多舛，万事堪忧呢。桑乔回答道：

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“您在笔记本上写两三遍再给我，我会仔细保管的。想让我背下来，简直是异想天开。我的记性太差了，常常连我自己叫什么都忘了。不过尽管如此，您还是给我念念吧，我很愿意听。信大概写得很好。”

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唐吉诃德说：“你听着，信是这样写的：

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唐吉诃德致托博索的杜尔西内亚的信

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尊贵的夫人：

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最亲爱的托博索的杜尔西内亚，诚致问候。离别的刺痛，心灵的隐伤，已使我心力交瘁。如果你凭美貌对我睥睨，居高傲对我厌弃，以轻蔑对我热忱，对我打击厉害而又长久，纵使我饱经磨难，亦难以承受。噢，美丽的负心人，我爱慕的仇人，我的忠实侍从桑乔会向你如实讲述。我为你而生存。你若愿意拯救我，我属于你。否则，你尽情享乐吧。对于你的冷酷和我的追求，唯有以死相报。

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至死忠贞的

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猥獕骑士

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“我的天啊，”桑乔说，“我还从未听过如此高雅的东西呢。看您把您想的东西都写出来了。再签上‘猥獕骑士’，多棒呀！说实话，您简直就是神，真是无所不能。”

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“我的职业需要无所不能。”唐吉诃德说。

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“那么，”桑乔说，“您就把取驴的条子写在背面吧。您把名字签得清楚些，要让人一目了然。”

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“好啊。”唐吉诃德说。

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写完后，唐吉诃德把条子念给桑乔听。条子上这样写着：

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外甥女小姐：

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凭此单据，请将我托付你的家里五头驴中的三头交给我的侍从桑乔·潘萨。兹签发此据，以此三头驴支付在此刚收到的另外三头驴。凭此单据及侍从的收条完成交割。立据于莫雷纳山深处。本年八月二日二十时立据。

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“好了，”桑乔说，“你就在这儿签字吧。”

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“不用签字了，”唐吉诃德说，“有花押就够了，跟签字的作用一样。凭这个花押，别说三头驴，就是三百头驴也能取走。”

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“我相信您。”桑乔说，“现在让我去给罗西南多备鞍吧。您为我祝福吧。然后我就走了，不打算再看您要做的那些蠢事了。我会把我所看到的一切都告诉她，一点儿都不会漏下。”

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“至少我想让你看看我光着身子完成一两个疯狂之举，桑乔，这很有必要。我半个小时之内就会做完。你如果自己亲眼看见，以后就可以信誓旦旦地随意添油加醋了。我想做

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Which Treats of the Strange Things that Happened to the Stout Knight of La Mancha in the Sierra Morena, and of His Imitation of The Penance of Beltenebros

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Don Quixote took leave of the goatherd, and once more mounting Rocinante bade Sancho follow him, which he having no ass, did very discontentedly. They proceeded slowly, making their way into the most rugged part of the mountain, Sancho all the while dying to have a talk with his master, and longing for him to begin, so that there should be no breach of the injunction laid upon him; but unable to keep silence so long he said to him:

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“Senor Don Quixote, give me your worship’s blessing and dismissal, for I’d like to go home at once to my wife and children with whom I can at any rate talk and converse as much as I like; for to want me to go through these solitudes day and night and not speak to you when I have a mind is burying me alive. If luck would have it that animals spoke as they did in the days of Guisopete, it would not be so bad, because I could talk to Rocinante about whatever came into my head, and so put up with my ill-fortune; but it is a hard case, and not to be borne with patience, to go seeking adventures all one’s life and get nothing but kicks and blanketings, brickbats and punches, and with all this to have to sew up one’s mouth without daring to say what is in one’s heart, just as if one were dumb.”

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“I understand thee, Sancho,” replied Don Quixote; “thou art dying to have the interdict I placed upon thy tongue removed; consider it removed, and say what thou wilt while we are wandering in these mountains.”

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“So be it,” said Sancho; “let me speak now, for God knows what will happen by-and-by; and to take advantage of the permit at once, I ask, what made your worship stand up so for that Queen Majimasa, or whatever her name is, or what did it matter whether that abbot was a friend of hers or not? for if your worship had let that pass — and you were not a judge in the matter — it is my belief the madman would have gone on with his story, and the blow of the stone, and the kicks, and more than half a dozen cuffs would have been escaped.”

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“In faith, Sancho,” answered Don Quixote, “if thou knewest as I do what an honourable and illustrious lady Queen Madasima was, I know thou wouldst say I had great patience that I did not break in pieces the mouth that uttered such blasphemies, for a very great blasphemy it is to say or imagine that a queen has made free with a surgeon. The truth of the story is that that Master Elisabad whom the madman mentioned was a man of great prudence and sound judgment, and served as governor and physician to the queen, but to suppose that she was his mistress is nonsense deserving very severe punishment; and as a proof that Cardenio did not know what he was saying, remember when he said it he was out of his wits.”

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“That is what I say,” said Sancho; “there was no occasion for minding the words of a madman; for if good luck had not helped your worship, and he had sent that stone at your head instead of at your breast, a fine way we should have been in for standing up for my lady yonder, God confound her! And then, would not Cardenio have gone free as a madman?”

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“Against men in their senses or against madmen,” said Don Quixote, “every knight-errant is bound to stand up for the honour of women, whoever they may be, much more for queens of such high degree and dignity as Queen Madasima, for whom I have a particular regard on account of her amiable qualities; for, besides being extremely beautiful, she was very wise, and very patient under her misfortunes, of which she had many; and the counsel and society of the Master Elisabad were a great help and support to her in enduring her afflictions with wisdom and resignation; hence the ignorant and ill-disposed vulgar took occasion to say and think that she was his mistress; and they lie, I say it once more, and will lie two hundred times more, all who think and say so.”

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“I neither say nor think so,” said Sancho; “let them look to it; with their bread let them eat it; they have rendered account to God whether they misbehaved or not; I come from my vineyard, I know nothing; I am not fond of prying into other men’s lives; he who buys and lies feels it in his purse; moreover, naked was I born, naked I find myself, I neither lose nor gain; but if they did, what is that to me? many think there are flitches where there are no hooks; but who can put gates to the open plain? moreover they said of God — ”

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“God bless me,” said Don Quixote, “what a set of absurdities thou art stringing together! What has what we are talking about got to do with the proverbs thou art threading one after the other? for God’s sake hold thy tongue, Sancho, and henceforward keep to prodding thy ass and don’t meddle in what does not concern thee; and understand with all thy five senses that everything I have done, am doing, or shall do, is well founded on reason and in conformity with the rules of chivalry, for I understand them better than all the world that profess them.”

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“Senor,” replied Sancho, “is it a good rule of chivalry that we should go astray through these mountains without path or road, looking for a madman who when he is found will perhaps take a fancy to finish what he began, not his story, but your worship’s head and my ribs, and end by breaking them altogether for us?”

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“Peace, I say again, Sancho,” said Don Quixote, “for let me tell thee it is not so much the desire of finding that madman that leads me into these regions as that which I have of performing among them an achievement wherewith I shall win eternal name and fame throughout the known world; and it shall be such that I shall thereby set the seal on all that can make a knight-errant perfect and famous.”

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“And is it very perilous, this achievement?”

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“No,” replied he of the Rueful Countenance; “though it may be in the dice that we may throw deuce-ace instead of sixes; but all will depend on thy diligence.”

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“On my diligence!” said Sancho.

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“Yes,” said Don Quixote, “for if thou dost return soon from the place where I mean to send thee, my penance will be soon over, and my glory will soon begin. But as it is not right to keep thee any longer in suspense, waiting to see what comes of my words, I would have thee know, Sancho, that the famous Amadis of Gaul was one of the most perfect knights-errant — I am wrong to say he was one; he stood alone, the first, the only one, the lord of all that were in the world in his time. A fig for Don Belianis, and for all who say he equalled him in any respect, for, my oath upon it, they are deceiving themselves! I say, too, that when a painter desires to become famous in his art he endeavours to copy the originals of the rarest painters that he knows; and the same rule holds good for all the most important crafts and callings that serve to adorn a state; thus must he who would be esteemed prudent and patient imitate Ulysses, in whose person and labours Homer presents to us a lively picture of prudence and patience; as Virgil, too, shows us in the person of AEneas the virtue of a pious son and the sagacity of a brave and skilful captain; not representing or describing them as they were, but as they ought to be, so as to leave the example of their virtues to posterity. In the same way Amadis was the polestar, day-star, sun of valiant and devoted knights, whom all we who fight under the banner of love and chivalry are bound to imitate. This, then, being so, I consider, friend Sancho, that the knight-errant who shall imitate him most closely will come nearest to reaching the perfection of chivalry. Now one of the instances in which this knight most conspicuously showed his prudence, worth, valour, endurance, fortitude, and love, was when he withdrew, rejected by the Lady Oriana, to do penance upon the Pena Pobre, changing his name into that of Beltenebros, a name assuredly significant and appropriate to the life which he had voluntarily adopted. So, as it is easier for me to imitate him in this than in cleaving giants asunder, cutting off serpents’ heads, slaying dragons, routing armies, destroying fleets, and breaking enchantments, and as this place is so well suited for a similar purpose, I must not allow the opportunity to escape which now so conveniently offers me its forelock.”

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“What is it in reality,” said Sancho, “that your worship means to do in such an out-of-the-way place as this?”

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“Have I not told thee,” answered Don Quixote, “that I mean to imitate Amadis here, playing the victim of despair, the madman, the maniac, so as at the same time to imitate the valiant Don Roland, when at the fountain he had evidence of the fair Angelica having disgraced herself with Medoro and through grief thereat went mad, and plucked up trees, troubled the waters of the clear springs, slew destroyed flocks, burned down huts, levelled houses, dragged mares after him, and perpetrated a hundred thousand other outrages worthy of everlasting renown and record? And though I have no intention of imitating Roland, or Orlando, or Rotolando (for he went by all these names), step by step in all the mad things he did, said, and thought, I will make a rough copy to the best of my power of all that seems to me most essential; but perhaps I shall content myself with the simple imitation of Amadis, who without giving way to any mischievous madness but merely to tears and sorrow, gained as much fame as the most famous.”

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“It seems to me,” said Sancho, “that the knights who behaved in this way had provocation and cause for those follies and penances; but what cause has your worship for going mad? What lady has rejected you, or what evidence have you found to prove that the lady Dulcinea del Toboso has been trifling with Moor or Christian?”

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“There is the point,” replied Don Quixote, “and that is the beauty of this business of mine; no thanks to a knight-errant for going mad when he has cause; the thing is to turn crazy without any provocation, and let my lady know, if I do this in the dry, what I would do in the moist; moreover I have abundant cause in the long separation I have endured from my lady till death, Dulcinea del Toboso; for as thou didst hear that shepherd Ambrosio say the other day, in absence all ills are felt and feared; and so, friend Sancho, waste no time in advising me against so rare, so happy, and so unheard-of an imitation; mad I am, and mad I must be until thou returnest with the answer to a letter that I mean to send by thee to my lady Dulcinea; and if it be such as my constancy deserves, my insanity and penance will come to an end; and if it be to the opposite effect, I shall become mad in earnest, and, being so, I shall suffer no more; thus in whatever way she may answer I shall escape from the struggle and affliction in which thou wilt leave me, enjoying in my senses the boon thou bearest me, or as a madman not feeling the evil thou bringest me. But tell me, Sancho, hast thou got Mambrino’s helmet safe? for I saw thee take it up from the ground when that ungrateful wretch tried to break it in pieces but could not, by which the fineness of its temper may be seen.”

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To which Sancho made answer, “By the living God, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, I cannot endure or bear with patience some of the things that your worship says; and from them I begin to suspect that all you tell me about chivalry, and winning kingdoms and empires, and giving islands, and bestowing other rewards and dignities after the custom of knights-errant, must be all made up of wind and lies, and all pigments or figments, or whatever we may call them; for what would anyone think that heard your worship calling a barber’s basin Mambrino’s helmet without ever seeing the mistake all this time, but that one who says and maintains such things must have his brains addled? I have the basin in my sack all dinted, and I am taking it home to have it mended, to trim my beard in it, if, by God’s grace, I am allowed to see my wife and children some day or other.”

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“Look here, Sancho,” said Don Quixote, “by him thou didst swear by just now I swear thou hast the most limited understanding that any squire in the world has or ever had. Is it possible that all this time thou hast been going about with me thou hast never found out that all things belonging to knights-errant seem to be illusions and nonsense and ravings, and to go always by contraries? And not because it really is so, but because there is always a swarm of enchanters in attendance upon us that change and alter everything with us, and turn things as they please, and according as they are disposed to aid or destroy us; thus what seems to thee a barber’s basin seems to me Mambrino’s helmet, and to another it will seem something else; and rare foresight it was in the sage who is on my side to make what is really and truly Mambrine’s helmet seem a basin to everybody, for, being held in such estimation as it is, all the world would pursue me to rob me of it; but when they see it is only a barber’s basin they do not take the trouble to obtain it; as was plainly shown by him who tried to break it, and left it on the ground without taking it, for, by my faith, had he known it he would never have left it behind. Keep it safe, my friend, for just now I have no need of it; indeed, I shall have to take off all this armour and remain as naked as I was born, if I have a mind to follow Roland rather than Amadis in my penance.”

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Thus talking they reached the foot of a high mountain which stood like an isolated peak among the others that surrounded it. Past its base there flowed a gentle brook, all around it spread a meadow so green and luxuriant that it was a delight to the eyes to look upon it, and forest trees in abundance, and shrubs and flowers, added to the charms of the spot. Upon this place the Knight of the Rueful Countenance fixed his choice for the performance of his penance, and as he beheld it exclaimed in a loud voice as though he were out of his senses:

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“This is the place, oh, ye heavens, that I select and choose for bewailing the misfortune in which ye yourselves have plunged me: this is the spot where the overflowings of mine eyes shall swell the waters of yon little brook, and my deep and endless sighs shall stir unceasingly the leaves of these mountain trees, in testimony and token of the pain my persecuted heart is suffering. Oh, ye rural deities, whoever ye be that haunt this lone spot, give ear to the complaint of a wretched lover whom long absence and brooding jealousy have driven to bewail his fate among these wilds and complain of the hard heart of that fair and ungrateful one, the end and limit of all human beauty! Oh, ye wood nymphs and dryads, that dwell in the thickets of the forest, so may the nimble wanton satyrs by whom ye are vainly wooed never disturb your sweet repose, help me to lament my hard fate or at least weary not at listening to it! Oh, Dulcinea del Toboso, day of my night, glory of my pain, guide of my path, star of my fortune, so may Heaven grant thee in full all thou seekest of it, bethink thee of the place and condition to which absence from thee has brought me, and make that return in kindness that is due to my fidelity! Oh, lonely trees, that from this day forward shall bear me company in my solitude, give me some sign by the gentle movement of your boughs that my presence is not distasteful to you! Oh, thou, my squire, pleasant companion in my prosperous and adverse fortunes, fix well in thy memory what thou shalt see me do here, so that thou mayest relate and report it to the sole cause of all,” and so saying he dismounted from Rocinante, and in an instant relieved him of saddle and bridle, and giving him a slap on the croup, said, “He gives thee freedom who is bereft of it himself, oh steed as excellent in deed as thou art unfortunate in thy lot; begone where thou wilt, for thou bearest written on thy forehead that neither Astolfo’s hippogriff, nor the famed Frontino that cost Bradamante so dear, could equal thee in speed.”

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Seeing this Sancho said, “Good luck to him who has saved us the trouble of stripping the pack-saddle off Dapple! By my faith he would not have gone without a slap on the croup and something said in his praise; though if he were here I would not let anyone strip him, for there would be no occasion, as he had nothing of the lover or victim of despair about him, inasmuch as his master, which I was while it was God’s pleasure, was nothing of the sort; and indeed, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, if my departure and your worship’s madness are to come off in earnest, it will be as well to saddle Rocinante again in order that he may supply the want of Dapple, because it will save me time in going and returning: for if I go on foot I don’t know when I shall get there or when I shall get back, as I am, in truth, a bad walker.”

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“I declare, Sancho,” returned Don Quixote, “it shall be as thou wilt, for thy plan does not seem to me a bad one, and three days hence thou wilt depart, for I wish thee to observe in the meantime what I do and say for her sake, that thou mayest be able to tell it.”

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“But what more have I to see besides what I have seen?” said Sancho.

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“Much thou knowest about it!” said Don Quixote. “I have now got to tear up my garments, to scatter about my armour, knock my head against these rocks, and more of the same sort of thing, which thou must witness.”

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“For the love of God,” said Sancho, “be careful, your worship, how you give yourself those knocks on the head, for you may come across such a rock, and in such a way, that the very first may put an end to the whole contrivance of this penance; and I should think, if indeed knocks on the head seem necessary to you, and this business cannot be done without them, you might be content — as the whole thing is feigned, and counterfeit, and in joke — you might be content, I say, with giving them to yourself in the water, or against something soft, like cotton; and leave it all to me; for I’ll tell my lady that your worship knocked your head against a point of rock harder than a diamond.”

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“I thank thee for thy good intentions, friend Sancho,” answered Don Quixote, “but I would have thee know that all these things I am doing are not in joke, but very much in earnest, for anything else would be a transgression of the ordinances of chivalry, which forbid us to tell any lie whatever under the penalties due to apostasy; and to do one thing instead of another is just the same as lying; so my knocks on the head must be real, solid, and valid, without anything sophisticated or fanciful about them, and it will be needful to leave me some lint to dress my wounds, since fortune has compelled us to do without the balsam we lost.”

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“It was worse losing the ass,” replied Sancho, “for with him lint and all were lost; but I beg of your worship not to remind me again of that accursed liquor, for my soul, not to say my stomach, turns at hearing the very name of it; and I beg of you, too, to reckon as past the three days you allowed me for seeing the mad things you do, for I take them as seen already and pronounced upon, and I will tell wonderful stories to my lady; so write the letter and send me off at once, for I long to return and take your worship out of this purgatory where I am leaving you.”

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“Purgatory dost thou call it, Sancho?” said Don Quixote, “rather call it hell, or even worse if there be anything worse.”

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“For one who is in hell,” said Sancho, “nulla est retentio, as I have heard say.”

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“I do not understand what retentio means,” said Don Quixote.

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“Retentio,” answered Sancho, “means that whoever is in hell never comes nor can come out of it, which will be the opposite case with your worship or my legs will be idle, that is if I have spurs to enliven Rocinante: let me once get to El Toboso and into the presence of my lady Dulcinea, and I will tell her such things of the follies and madnesses (for it is all one) that your worship has done and is still doing, that I will manage to make her softer than a glove though I find her harder than a cork tree; and with her sweet and honeyed answer I will come back through the air like a witch, and take your worship out of this purgatory that seems to be hell but is not, as there is hope of getting out of it; which, as I have said, those in hell have not, and I believe your worship will not say anything to the contrary.”

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“That is true,” said he of the Rueful Countenance, “but how shall we manage to write the letter?”

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“And the ass-colt order too,” added Sancho.

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“All shall be included,” said Don Quixote; “and as there is no paper, it would be well done to write it on the leaves of trees, as the ancients did, or on tablets of wax; though that would be as hard to find just now as paper. But it has just occurred to me how it may be conveniently and even more than conveniently written, and that is in the note-book that belonged to Cardenio, and thou wilt take care to have it copied on paper, in a good hand, at the first village thou comest to where there is a schoolmaster, or if not, any sacristan will copy it; but see thou give it not to any notary to copy, for they write a law hand that Satan could not make out.”

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“But what is to be done about the signature?” said Sancho.

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“The letters of Amadis were never signed,” said Don Quixote.

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“She it is,” said Don Quixote, “and she it is that is worthy to be lady of the whole universe.”

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“I know her well,” said Sancho, “and let me tell you she can fling a crowbar as well as the lustiest lad in all the town. Giver of all good! but she is a brave lass, and a right and stout one, and fit to be helpmate to any knight-errant that is or is to be, who may make her his lady: the whoreson wench, what sting she has and what a voice! I can tell you one day she posted herself on the top of the belfry of the village to call some labourers of theirs that were in a ploughed field of her father’s , and though they were better than half a league off they heard her as well as if they were at the foot of the tower; and the best of her is that she is not a bit prudish, for she has plenty of affability, and jokes with everybody, and has a grin and a jest for everything. So, Sir Knight of the Rueful Countenance, I say you not only may and ought to do mad freaks for her sake, but you have a good right to give way to despair and hang yourself; and no one who knows of it but will say you did well, though the devil should take you; and I wish I were on my road already, simply to see her, for it is many a day since I saw her, and she must be altered by this time, for going about the fields always, and the sun and the air spoil women’s looks greatly. But I must own the truth to your worship, Senor Don Quixote; until now I have been under a great mistake, for I believed truly and honestly that the lady Dulcinea must be some princess your worship was in love with, or some person great enough to deserve the rich presents you have sent her, such as the Biscayan and the galley slaves, and many more no doubt, for your worship must have won many victories in the time when I was not yet your squire. But all things considered, what good can it do the lady Aldonza Lorenzo, I mean the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, to have the vanquished your worship sends or will send coming to her and going down on their knees before her? Because may be when they came she’d be hackling flax or threshing on the threshing floor, and they’d be ashamed to see her, and she’d laugh, or resent the present.”

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