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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 1 第29章|Part 1 Chapter 29

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读：[44781]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德，他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说，以至于放弃家业，用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子，再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从，三次出征周游全国，去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话，到处碰壁受辱，堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤，有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后，他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞，临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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“各位大人，这就是我的真实的悲惨故事。现在你们看到了，也该认识到了，我有足够的理由唉声叹气，终日以泪洗面，尽情宣泄我的悲痛。你们想想我不幸的程度，就会知道，任何安慰都无济于事，因为这件事已经无可挽回。我只请求你们做一件事，这件事对于你们来说轻而易举，而且义不容辞，那就是告诉我，我应该躲到什么地方去了此一生，而且不必害怕被那些寻找我的人发现。尽管我知道父母很爱我，肯定会热情地欢迎我，但只要一想到面对他们，我就羞愧难当。我已经不是他们所希望的那样贞洁了，所以我宁愿远离他乡，永远不让他们再见到我，我也不愿意再看到他们。”

1
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说到这儿，她止住了话，脸上蒙罩了一种从内心感到痛苦和惭愧的神色。几个人听她讲述了自己的不幸之后，深感同情和惊讶。神甫想安慰开导她几句，可是卡德尼奥却抢先说道：

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“姑娘，你就是富人克莱纳尔多的独生女儿，美丽的多罗特亚？”

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多罗特亚听到有人提起她父亲的名字，颇感意外，尤其奇怪提到他父亲名字的这个人竟是个落魄的平民，卡德尼奥的破衣烂衫清楚地表明了这点。多罗特亚问他：

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“你是什么人，兄弟？你怎么知道我父亲的名字呢？如果我没记错的话，刚才我讲述自己不幸的时候，始终没有提到父亲的名字。”

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“我就是你刚才讲到的被卢辛达称为未婚夫的那个失意人。”卡德尼奥说，“我就是倒霉的卡德尼奥。把你害成这个样子的那个坏蛋，也把我坑到了这种地步。你看我衣衫褴褛，衣不蔽体，得不到真情安慰。更有甚者，我的神志已经失常，只有在老天开眼的时候，才让我清醒一段时间。多罗特亚，就是我曾目睹费尔南多的阴谋得逞，就是我听见了卢辛达说她‘愿意’做唐费尔南多的妻子，就是我在卢辛达晕倒时，连去看看她的勇气都没有，也没有看她身上的那张纸条到底是怎么回事。这些不幸同时出现，我的灵魂简直承受不了。我迫不及待地离开了她家，只给一位客人留了一封信，请他把信交到卢辛达手里。我来到这荒山野岭，打算在这儿了结一生。从那时开始，我开始厌恶生活，仿佛它是我的不共戴天之敌。

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“不过命运并不想剥夺我的生命，它只是剥夺我的正常神志，这大概是为了让我有幸在此遇到你。我觉得，假如你刚才讲的都是真话，也许老天还为咱们俩安排了不幸中的万幸。既然卢辛达是我的，她不能同费尔南多结婚，而费尔南多又是你的，不能同卢辛达结婚，这点卢辛达已经明确讲过，咱们完全可以指望老天安排物归原主。这本是命中注定，无可变更的。我们可以从这并不遥远的希望里得到安慰，这并不是胡思乱想。我请求你，小姐，振奋精神，重新选择。现在我已另有安排，让你得到好运。我以勇士和基督徒的名义发誓，一定要照顾你，一直到你回到费尔南多身边。如果讲道理仍不能让费尔南多认识到他对你的责任，我就要行使我作为男士的权利，为他对你的无礼，名正言顺地向他挑战，而丝毫不考虑他与我的个人恩怨。我的仇留给老天去报，我在人间只为你雪恨。”

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听了卡德尼奥的话，多罗特亚不胜惊喜。她不知道应该如何感谢卡德尼奥，就想去吻他的脚，可卡德尼奥不允许。神父这时出来解围说，他同意卡德尼奥的说法。另外，他还特别请求并劝说他们，同他一起回乡，这样可以补充一些必需的物品，还可以计议一下如何找到费尔南多，或把多罗特亚送到她父母那儿，或者还有什么其它更合适的办法。

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卡德尼奥和多罗特亚对此表示感谢，并接受了神甫的建议，理发师本来一直在旁边默不作声，现在也像神甫一样十分友好地表示，只要是对他们有利的事情，都愿意效劳。理发师还扼要地介绍了一下他和神甫来此的原因，以及唐吉诃德如何莫名其妙地抽疯，他们如何在此等待唐吉诃德的侍从，而他已经去找唐吉诃德了。卡德尼奥忽然想起来，他似乎在梦中同唐吉诃德争吵过一回，于是就把这件事同大家说了，不过他自己也不知道到底是为什么争吵。

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这时忽听有人叫喊，他们听出是桑乔的声音。原来是桑乔找不到原来的地方了，所以喊起来。大家走出来，迎面碰到了桑乔。桑乔说已经找到了唐吉诃德，他身着单衣，面黄肌瘦，饿得半死不活，嘴里还唉声叹气地念叨着杜尔西内亚。桑乔已经告诉唐吉诃德，杜尔西内亚让他离开那个地方，到托博索去，杜尔西内亚在那儿等着他。可是唐吉诃德回答说，如果不干出些像样的事业来，他绝不去见杜尔西内亚。假如这样下去，唐吉诃德就当不成国王了，而这本来是他份内之事。而且，他连大主教也当不成了，他至少应该当个大主教。因此，桑乔请大家看看怎样才能把唐吉诃德引出来。神甫说不要着急，不管唐吉诃德愿意不愿意，都得把他从那儿弄出来。

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然后，神甫向卡德尼奥和多罗特亚讲述了他和理发师原来商量的解救唐吉诃德的办法，说至少得把他弄回家去。多罗特亚说，要扮成落难女子，她肯定比理发师合适，而且她这儿还有衣服，会扮得更自然。她让大家把这事儿交给她，她知道该怎样做，原来她也读过许多骑士小说，知道落难女子向游侠骑士求助时应该是什么样子。

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“不过，现在最需要的是行动起来。”神甫说，“我肯定是遇上好运了，真是没想到，这样你们的事情还有挽回的希望，我们的事情也方便多了。”

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多罗特亚随即从她的枕套里拿出一件高级面料的连衣裙和一条艳丽的绿丝披巾，又从一个首饰盒里拿出一串项链和其它几样首饰，并且马上就戴到身上，变得像一位雍容华贵的小姐了。她说这些东西都是从家里带出来的，以防万一有用，但直到现在才有机会用上它们。大家都觉得她气度非凡、仪态万方和绰约多姿，更认为费尔南多愚蠢至极，竟抛弃这样漂亮的女子。不过，最为感叹的是桑乔，他觉得自己从未见过如此漂亮的女孩子，事实也的确是如此。桑乔急切地问神甫，这位美丽的姑娘是谁，到这偏僻之地干什么来了。

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“这位漂亮的姑娘，桑乔朋友，是伟大的米科米孔王国直系男性的女继承人。”神甫说，“她来寻求你主人的帮助。有个恶毒的巨人欺负了她。你主人是优秀骑士的名声已经四海皆知，因此她特意慕名从几内亚赶来找他。”

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“找得好，找得妙！”桑乔说，“假如我的主人有幸能为你报仇雪恨，把刚才说的那个巨人杀了，那就更好了。只要那个巨人不是鬼怪，我的主人找到他就能把他杀了。对于鬼怪，我的主人就束手无策了。我想求您一件事，神甫大人，就是劝我的主人不要做大主教，这是我最担心的。请您劝他同这位公主结婚，那么他就当不成大主教了，就得乖乖地到他的王国去，这是我的最终目的。我已经仔细考虑过了，按照我的打算，他当主教对我不利。我已经结婚了，在教会也无事可做。我有老婆孩子，要领薪俸还得经过特别准许，总是没完没了的。所以，大人，这一切全看我的主人是否同这位公主结婚了。到现在我还没问小姐的芳名，不知应该怎样称呼她呢。”

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“你就叫她米科米科娜公主吧，”神甫说，“她的那个王国叫米科米孔，她自然就得这么叫了。”

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“这是肯定的，”桑乔说，“我听说很多人都以他们的出生地和家族为姓名，叫什么阿尔卡拉的佩德罗呀，乌韦达的胡安呀，以及巴利阿多里德的迭戈呀。几内亚也应该这样，公主就用她那个王国的名字吧。”

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“应该这样，”神甫说，“至于劝你主人结婚的事，我尽力而为。”

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桑乔对此非常高兴，神甫对他头脑如此简单，而且同他的主人一样想入非非感到震惊，他居然真心以为他的主人能当上国王呢。

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这时，多罗特亚已骑上了神甫的骡子，理发师也把那个用牛尾巴做的假胡子戴好了。他们让桑乔带路去找唐吉诃德，并且叮嘱他，不要说认识神甫和理发师，因为说不认识他们对让他的主人去做国王起着决定性作用。神甫和卡德尼奥没有一同去。他们不想让唐吉诃德想起他以前同卡德尼奥的争论，神甫也没有必要出面，因此他们让其他人先走，自己在后面慢慢步行跟随。神甫不断地告诉多罗特亚应该怎样做。多罗特亚让大家放心，她一定会像骑士小说里要求和描述的那样，做得一模一样。

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他们走了不到一西里远，就发现了乱石中间的唐吉诃德。他现在已经穿上了衣服，不过没有戴盔甲。多罗特亚刚发现唐吉诃德，桑乔就告诉她，那就是他的主人。多罗特亚催马向前，跟上了走在前面的大胡子理发师。他们来到唐吉诃德面前，理发师从骡子上跳下来，伸手去抱多罗特亚，多罗特亚敏捷地跳下马，跪倒在唐吉诃德面前。唐吉诃德让她起来，可是她坚持不起来，嘴里说道：

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“英勇强悍的勇士啊，您若不答应慷慨施恩，我就不起来。这件事有利于提高您的声望，也有助于我这个忧心忡忡、受苦受难的女孩子。太阳若有眼，也不会视而不见。如果您的臂膀真像您的鼎鼎大名所传的那样雄健有力，您就会责无旁贷地帮助这位慕名远道而来、寻求您帮助的少女。”

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“美丽的姑娘，”唐吉诃德说，“你要是不站起来，我就不回答你的话，也不会听您说有关你的事。”

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“如果您不先答应帮助我，大人，我就不起来。”姑娘痛苦万分地说。

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“只要这件事不会有损于我的国王、我的祖国和我那个掌握了我的心灵与自由的心上人，我就答应你。”唐吉诃德说。

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“决不会有损于您说的那些，我的好大人。”姑娘悲痛欲绝地说。

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这时桑乔走到唐吉诃德身边，对着他的耳朵悄悄说道：

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“您完全可以帮助她，大人，没有什么了不起的大事，只是去杀死一个大个子。这个恳求您的人是高贵的米科米科娜公主，是埃塞俄比亚的米科米孔王国的女王。”

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“不管她是谁，”唐吉诃德说，“我都要奉行我的原则，按照我的义务和良心行事。”唐吉诃德又转向少女说，“尊贵的美人，你请起，我愿意按照你的要求帮助你。”

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“我的要求就是，”姑娘说，“劳您大驾，随同我到我带您去的一个地方，并且答应我，在为我向那个违背了人类所有神圣权利、夺走了我的王国的叛徒报仇之前，不要再穿插任何冒险活动，不要再答应别人的任何要求。”

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“就这么办，”唐吉诃德说，“姑娘，从今天开始，你完全可以抛弃你的忧伤烦恼，让你已经泯灭的希望得以恢复。有上帝和我的臂膀的帮助，你很快就可以重建你的王国，重登你的古老伟大国家的宝座，尽管有些无赖想反其道而行之。”

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可怜巴巴的姑娘坚持要吻唐吉诃德的手，可唐吉诃德毕竟是谦恭有礼的骑士，他怎么也不允许吻他的手。他把姑娘扶了起来，非常谦恭有礼地拥抱了一下姑娘，然后吩咐桑乔查看一下罗西南多的肚带，再给他披戴上甲胄。桑乔先把那像战利品一般挂在树上的甲胄摘下来，又查看了罗西南多的肚带，并且迅速为唐吉诃德披戴好了甲胄。唐吉诃德全身披挂好，说：

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“咱们以上帝的名义出发吧，去帮助这位尊贵的小姐。”

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理发师还跪在地上呢。他强忍着笑，还得注意别让胡子掉下来。胡子若是掉下来，他们的良苦用心就会落空。看到唐吉诃德已经同意帮忙，并且即刻准备启程，他也站起来，扶着他的女主人的另一只手，同唐吉诃德一起把姑娘扶上了骡子。唐吉诃德骑上罗西南多，理发师也上了自己的马，只剩下桑乔还得步行。桑乔于是又想起了丢驴的事，本来这时候他正用得着那头驴。不过，这时桑乔走得挺带劲，他觉得主人已经上了路，很快就可以成为国王了，因为他估计主人肯定会同那位公主结婚，至少也能当上米科米孔的国王。可是，一想到那个王国是在黑人居住的土地上，他又犯愁了，那里的臣民大概也都是黑人吧。但他马上就想出了解决办法，自语道：“那些臣民都是黑人又与我有什么关系呢？我可以把他们装运到西班牙去卖掉，人们会付我现金，我用这些钱可以买个官职或爵位，舒舒服服地过我的日子。不过别犯糊涂，你还没能力掌握这些东西呢，把三万或一万废物都卖出去可不容易。上帝保佑，我得不分质量好坏，尽可能把他们一下子都卖出去，把黑的换成白的或黄的①。看我，净犯傻了。”他越想越高兴，已经忘了步行给他带来的劳累。

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①指换成金银。

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躲在乱石荆棘中的卡德尼奥和神甫把这一切都已看在眼里，但他们不知道怎样同他们会合才合适。还是神甫足智多谋，马上想出了一个应付的办法。神甫从一个盒子里拿出剪刀，把卡德尼奥的胡子迅速剪掉，又把自己的棕色外套给他穿上，再递给他一件黑色短斗篷，自己只穿裤子和坎肩。这回卡德尼奥已判若两人，连他自己对着镜子也认不出自己了。他们这么收拾的时候，前面的人已经走出很远，他们很快就来到了大路上。那个地方的乱草杂石很多，骑马还不如走得快。他们来到山口的平路上时，唐吉诃德那一行人也出现了。神甫仔细端详着，装成似曾相识的样子。看了好一会儿，神甫才伸出双臂，大声喊道：

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“骑士的楷模，我的老乡，曼查的唐吉诃德，耿介之士的精英，受苦人的保护神和救星，游侠骑士的典范，我终于找到你了。”

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神甫说完就跪着抱住唐吉诃德左腿的膝盖。唐吉诃德耳闻目睹那个人如此言谈举止，不禁一惊。他仔细看了看，终于认出了神甫，于是，他慌慌张张地使劲要下马，可是神甫不让他下马。于是，唐吉诃德说：

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“请您让我下来，教士大人，我骑在马上，而像您这样尊贵的人却站在地上，实在不合适。”

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“这我无论如何也不会允许，”神甫说，“请您仍然骑在您的马上吧。因为您骑在马上，可以完成当今时代最显赫的业绩和最大的冒险。而我呢，只是个不称职的教士，与您同行的几位都骑着马，只要你们不嫌，随便让我骑在某一位所骑的马的臀部就行了。我会觉得我仿佛骑着一匹飞马，或者是那个著名摩尔人穆萨拉克骑过的斑马或骠马。穆萨拉克至今还被魔法定在扎普鲁托附近的苏莱玛山上哩。”

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“这样我也不能同意。”唐吉诃德说，“不过我知道，我的这位公主会给我面子，让她的侍从把骡子让给您。他坐在骡臀上还是可以的，只要他的骡子受得了。”

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“我觉得能够受得了，”公主说，“而且我还知道，不必吩咐，我的侍从就会把骡子让给您。他非常有礼貌，决不会让一位神甫走路而自己却骑在骡子上。”

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“是这样。”理发师回答。

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理发师马上从骡子背上跳下来，请神甫骑到鞍子上。神甫也不多推辞。而理发师则骑在骡子的臀部上。这下可糟了，因为那是一匹租来的骡子。只要说是租来的，就知道好不了。骡子抬起两只后蹄，向空中踢了两下，这两下要是踢在理发师的胸部或者头上，他准会诅咒魔鬼让他来找唐吉诃德。尽管如此，他还是被吓得跌落到地上，稍不留意，竟把胡子掉到了地上。理发师见胡子没有了，便赶紧用两手捂着脸，抱怨说摔掉了两颗牙齿。

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唐吉诃德见侍从的胡子掉了下来，离脸那么远，却连一点血也没有，就说：

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“上帝呀，这简直是奇迹！胡子竟能从脸上脱落下来，就像是故意弄的一样！”

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神甫见事情有可能败露，便赶紧拾起胡子，走到那个仍在大声呻吟的尼古拉斯师傅身旁，把他的脑袋往胸前一按，重新把胡子安上，还对着他念念有词，说是大家就会看到，那是某种专门粘胡子用的咒语。安上胡子后，神甫走开了，只见理发师的胡子完好如初。唐吉诃德见了惊诧不已。他请求神甫有空时也教教他这种咒语。他觉得这种咒语的作用远不止是粘胡子用，它的用途应该更广泛。很明显，如果胡子掉了，肯定会露出满面创伤的肉来。因此，它不仅能粘胡子，而且什么病都可以治。

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“是这样。”神甫说，并且答应唐吉诃德，一有机会就教给他制作的方法。

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于是大家商定，先让神甫骑上骡子，走一段路之后，三个人再轮换，直到找到客店。三个骑马人是唐吉诃德、公主和神甫。三个步行的人是卡德尼奥、理发师和桑乔。唐吉诃德对公主说：

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“我的小姐，无论您把我们带到什么地方去，我都愿意相随。”

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还没等她回答，神甫就抢先说道：

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“您想把我们带到什么王国去呀？是不是去米科米孔？估计是那儿吧，我不知道是否还有其它什么王国。”

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姑娘立刻明白了应该这样回答，于是她说：

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“是的，大人，就是要去那个王国。”

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“如果是这样，”神甫说，“那就得经过我们那个镇，然后您转向卡塔赫纳，在那儿乘船。如果运气好，风平浪静，没有暴风雨，用不了九个年头，就可以看到宽广的梅奥纳湖，或者叫梅奥蒂德斯湖了，接着再走一百多天，就到您的王国了。”

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“您记错了，我的大人，”姑娘说，“我从那儿出来还不到两年，而且从来没有遇到过好天气。尽管如此，我还是见到了我仰慕已久的曼查的唐吉诃德。我一踏上西班牙的土地，就听说了他的事迹。这些事迹促使我来拜见这位大人，请求他以他战无不胜的臂膀为我主持公道。”

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“不要再说这些恭维话了，”唐吉诃德说，“我反对听各种各样的吹捧。尽管刚才这些并不是吹捧，它还是会玷污我纯洁的耳朵。我现在要说的是，我的公主，我的勇气时有时无。无论我是否有勇气，我都会为您尽心效力，直到献出自己的生命。这个问题以后再说，我现在只请求神甫大人告诉我，是什么原因使您冒冒失失地只身到此，也没带佣人，简直把我吓了一跳。”

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“我简短地讲一下。”神甫说，“您知道，唐吉诃德大人，我和咱们的理发师朋友尼古拉斯师傅去塞维利亚收一笔钱。那笔钱是我的一位亲戚很多年以前从天府之国给我寄来的。数目不算小，大概有六万比索，不得了啊。昨天，我们在这个地方忽然碰上了四个强盗。他们把我们洗劫一空，连胡子都抢走了。胡子被抢走了，我就劝理发师安个假胡子。还有这个小伙子，他的胡子跟新的一样。好就好在这一带人们都说，袭击我们的强盗是些苦役犯。听说他们几乎就是在这个地方被一个人释放的。那个人相当勇敢，尽管差役和捕快们反对，他还是把所有苦役犯都放了。这个人精神肯定不正常，要不就是和那些人一样是个大坏蛋，或者是个没心没肺的人，因为他要把狼放进羊群，把狐狸放进鸡窝，把苍蝇放进蜜里。他辜负了正义的期望，违背了国王和上帝的意志，违反了他们的神圣命令。因此我说呀，他放了那些苦役犯就是放虎归山，给圣友团带来了麻烦，本来圣友团已经好多年没有事干了。反正一句话，他做这件事在肉体上并没有好处，同时却丢失了灵魂。”

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桑乔已经把苦役犯的事情告诉了神甫和理发师，说主人对此洋洋自得。因此，神甫特意提到这件事，看唐吉诃德怎么做或怎么说。神甫每说一句，唐吉诃德的脸就变一下颜色，没敢承认就是他把那些人放了。

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“就是那些强盗抢走了我们的钱。”神甫说，“慈祥的上帝，饶恕这个人，免了他该受的惩罚吧。”

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“Such, sirs, is the true story of my sad adventures; judge for yourselves now whether the sighs and lamentations you heard, and the tears that flowed from my eyes, had not sufficient cause even if I had indulged in them more freely; and if you consider the nature of my misfortune you will see that consolation is idle, as there is no possible remedy for it. All I ask of you is, what you may easily and reasonably do, to show me where I may pass my life unharassed by the fear and dread of discovery by those who are in search of me; for though the great love my parents bear me makes me feel sure of being kindly received by them, so great is my feeling of shame at the mere thought that I cannot present myself before them as they expect, that I had rather banish myself from their sight for ever than look them in the face with the reflection that they beheld mine stripped of that purity they had a right to expect in me.”

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With these words she became silent, and the colour that overspread her face showed plainly the pain and shame she was suffering at heart. In theirs the listeners felt as much pity as wonder at her misfortunes; but as the curate was just about to offer her some consolation and advice Cardenio forestalled him, saying, “So then, senora, you are the fair Dorothea, the only daughter of the rich Clenardo?” Dorothea was astonished at hearing her father’s name, and at the miserable appearance of him who mentioned it, for it has been already said how wretchedly clad Cardenio was; so she said to him:

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“And who may you be, brother, who seem to know my father’s name so well? For so far, if I remember rightly, I have not mentioned it in the whole story of my misfortunes.”

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“I am that unhappy being, senora,” replied Cardenio, “whom, as you have said, Luscinda declared to be her husband; I am the unfortunate Cardenio, whom the wrong-doing of him who has brought you to your present condition has reduced to the state you see me in, bare, ragged, bereft of all human comfort, and what is worse, of reason, for I only possess it when Heaven is pleased for some short space to restore it to me. I, Dorothea, am he who witnessed the wrong done by Don Fernando, and waited to hear the ‘Yes’ uttered by which Luscinda owned herself his betrothed: I am he who had not courage enough to see how her fainting fit ended, or what came of the paper that was found in her bosom, because my heart had not the fortitude to endure so many strokes of ill-fortune at once; and so losing patience I quitted the house, and leaving a letter with my host, which I entreated him to place in Luscinda’s hands, I betook myself to these solitudes, resolved to end here the life I hated as if it were my mortal enemy. But fate would not rid me of it, contenting itself with robbing me of my reason, perhaps to preserve me for the good fortune I have had in meeting you; for if that which you have just told us be true, as I believe it to be, it may be that Heaven has yet in store for both of us a happier termination to our misfortunes than we look for; because seeing that Luscinda cannot marry Don Fernando, being mine, as she has herself so openly declared, and that Don Fernando cannot marry her as he is yours, we may reasonably hope that Heaven will restore to us what is ours, as it is still in existence and not yet alienated or destroyed. And as we have this consolation springing from no very visionary hope or wild fancy, I entreat you, senora, to form new resolutions in your better mind, as I mean to do in mine, preparing yourself to look forward to happier fortunes; for I swear to you by the faith of a gentleman and a Christian not to desert you until I see you in possession of Don Fernando, and if I cannot by words induce him to recognise his obligation to you, in that case to avail myself of the right which my rank as a gentleman gives me, and with just cause challenge him on account of the injury he has done you, not regarding my own wrongs, which I shall leave to Heaven to avenge, while I on earth devote myself to yours.”

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Cardenio’s words completed the astonishment of Dorothea, and not knowing how to return thanks for such an offer, she attempted to kiss his feet; but Cardenio would not permit it, and the licentiate replied for both, commended the sound reasoning of Cardenio, and lastly, begged, advised, and urged them to come with him to his village, where they might furnish themselves with what they needed, and take measures to discover Don Fernando, or restore Dorothea to her parents, or do what seemed to them most advisable. Cardenio and Dorothea thanked him, and accepted the kind offer he made them; and the barber, who had been listening to all attentively and in silence, on his part some kindly words also, and with no less good-will than the curate offered his services in any way that might be of use to them. He also explained to them in a few words the object that had brought them there, and the strange nature of Don Quixote’s madness, and how they were waiting for his squire, who had gone in search of him. Like the recollection of a dream, the quarrel he had had with Don Quixote came back to Cardenio’s memory, and he described it to the others; but he was unable to say what the dispute was about.

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At this moment they heard a shout, and recognised it as coming from Sancho Panza, who, not finding them where he had left them, was calling aloud to them. They went to meet him, and in answer to their inquiries about Don Quixote, be told them how he had found him stripped to his shirt, lank, yellow, half dead with hunger, and sighing for his lady Dulcinea; and although he had told him that she commanded him to quit that place and come to El Toboso, where she was expecting him, he had answered that he was determined not to appear in the presence of her beauty until he had done deeds to make him worthy of her favour; and if this went on, Sancho said, he ran the risk of not becoming an emperor as in duty bound, or even an archbishop, which was the least he could be; for which reason they ought to consider what was to be done to get him away from there. The licentiate in reply told him not to be uneasy, for they would fetch him away in spite of himself. He then told Cardenio and Dorothea what they had proposed to do to cure Don Quixote, or at any rate take him home; upon which Dorothea said that she could play the distressed damsel better than the barber; especially as she had there the dress in which to do it to the life, and that they might trust to her acting the part in every particular requisite for carrying out their scheme, for she had read a great many books of chivalry, and knew exactly the style in which afflicted damsels begged boons of knights-errant.

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“In that case,” said the curate, “there is nothing more required than to set about it at once, for beyond a doubt fortune is declaring itself in our favour, since it has so unexpectedly begun to open a door for your relief, and smoothed the way for us to our object.”

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Dorothea then took out of her pillow-case a complete petticoat of some rich stuff, and a green mantle of some other fine material, and a necklace and other ornaments out of a little box, and with these in an instant she so arrayed herself that she looked like a great and rich lady. All this, and more, she said, she had taken from home in case of need, but that until then she had had no occasion to make use of it. They were all highly delighted with her grace, air, and beauty, and declared Don Fernando to be a man of very little taste when he rejected such charms. But the one who admired her most was Sancho Panza, for it seemed to him (what indeed was true) that in all the days of his life he had never seen such a lovely creature; and he asked the curate with great eagerness who this beautiful lady was, and what she wanted in these out-of-the-way quarters.

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“This fair lady, brother Sancho,” replied the curate, “is no less a personage than the heiress in the direct male line of the great kingdom of Micomicon, who has come in search of your master to beg a boon of him, which is that he redress a wrong or injury that a wicked giant has done her; and from the fame as a good knight which your master has acquired far and wide, this princess has come from Guinea to seek him.”

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“A lucky seeking and a lucky finding!” said Sancho Panza at this; “especially if my master has the good fortune to redress that injury, and right that wrong, and kill that son of a bitch of a giant your worship speaks of; as kill him he will if he meets him, unless, indeed, he happens to be a phantom; for my master has no power at all against phantoms. But one thing among others I would beg of you, senor licentiate, which is, that, to prevent my master taking a fancy to be an archbishop, for that is what I’m afraid of, your worship would recommend him to marry this princess at once; for in this way he will be disabled from taking archbishop’s orders, and will easily come into his empire, and I to the end of my desires; I have been thinking over the matter carefully, and by what I can make out I find it will not do for me that my master should become an archbishop, because I am no good for the Church, as I am married; and for me now, having as I have a wife and children, to set about obtaining dispensations to enable me to hold a place of profit under the Church, would be endless work; so that, senor, it all turns on my master marrying this lady at once — for as yet I do not know her grace, and so I cannot call her by her name.”

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“She is called the Princess Micomicona,” said the curate; “for as her kingdom is Micomicon, it is clear that must be her name.”

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“There’s no doubt of that,” replied Sancho, “for I have known many to take their name and title from the place where they were born and call themselves Pedro of Alcala, Juan of Ubeda, and Diego of Valladolid; and it may be that over there in Guinea queens have the same way of taking the names of their kingdoms.”

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“So it may,” said the curate; “and as for your master’s marrying, I will do all in my power towards it:” with which Sancho was as much pleased as the curate was amazed at his simplicity and at seeing what a hold the absurdities of his master had taken of his fancy, for he had evidently persuaded himself that he was going to be an emperor.

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By this time Dorothea had seated herself upon the curate’s mule, and the barber had fitted the ox-tail beard to his face, and they now told Sancho to conduct them to where Don Quixote was, warning him not to say that he knew either the licentiate or the barber, as his master’s becoming an emperor entirely depended on his not recognising them; neither the curate nor Cardenio, however, thought fit to go with them; Cardenio lest he should remind Don Quixote of the quarrel he had with him, and the curate as there was no necessity for his presence just yet, so they allowed the others to go on before them, while they themselves followed slowly on foot. The curate did not forget to instruct Dorothea how to act, but she said they might make their minds easy, as everything would be done exactly as the books of chivalry required and described.

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They had gone about three-quarters of a league when they discovered Don Quixote in a wilderness of rocks, by this time clothed, but without his armour; and as soon as Dorothea saw him and was told by Sancho that that was Don Quixote, she whipped her palfrey, the well-bearded barber following her, and on coming up to him her squire sprang from his mule and came forward to receive her in his arms, and she dismounting with great ease of manner advanced to kneel before the feet of Don Quixote; and though he strove to raise her up, she without rising addressed him in this fashion:

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“From this spot I will not rise, valiant and doughty knight, until your goodness and courtesy grant me a boon, which will redound to the honour and renown of your person and render a service to the most disconsolate and afflicted damsel the sun has seen; and if the might of your strong arm corresponds to the repute of your immortal fame, you are bound to aid the helpless being who, led by the savour of your renowned name, hath come from far distant lands to seek your aid in her misfortunes.”

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“I will not answer a word, beauteous lady,” replied Don Quixote, “nor will I listen to anything further concerning you, until you rise from the earth.”

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“I will not rise, senor,” answered the afflicted damsel, “unless of your courtesy the boon I ask is first granted me.”

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“I grant and accord it,” said Don Quixote, “provided without detriment or prejudice to my king, my country, or her who holds the key of my heart and freedom, it may be complied with.”

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“It will not be to the detriment or prejudice of any of them, my worthy lord,” said the afflicted damsel; and here Sancho Panza drew close to his master’s ear and said to him very softly, “Your worship may very safely grant the boon she asks; it’s nothing at all; only to kill a big giant; and she who asks it is the exalted Princess Micomicona, queen of the great kingdom of Micomicon of Ethiopia.”

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“Let her be who she may,” replied Don Quixote, “I will do what is my bounden duty, and what my conscience bids me, in conformity with what I have professed;” and turning to the damsel he said, “Let your great beauty rise, for I grant the boon which you would ask of me.”

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“Then what I ask,” said the damsel, “is that your magnanimous person accompany me at once whither I will conduct you, and that you promise not to engage in any other adventure or quest until you have avenged me of a traitor who against all human and divine law, has usurped my kingdom.”

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“I repeat that I grant it,” replied Don Quixote; “and so, lady, you may from this day forth lay aside the melancholy that distresses you, and let your failing hopes gather new life and strength, for with the help of God and of my arm you will soon see yourself restored to your kingdom, and seated upon the throne of your ancient and mighty realm, notwithstanding and despite of the felons who would gainsay it; and now hands to the work, for in delay there is apt to be danger.”

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The distressed damsel strove with much pertinacity to kiss his hands; but Don Quixote, who was in all things a polished and courteous knight, would by no means allow it, but made her rise and embraced her with great courtesy and politeness, and ordered Sancho to look to Rocinante’s girths, and to arm him without a moment’s delay. Sancho took down the armour, which was hung up on a tree like a trophy, and having seen to the girths armed his master in a trice, who as soon as he found himself in his armour exclaimed:

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“Let us be gone in the name of God to bring aid to this great lady.”

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The barber was all this time on his knees at great pains to hide his laughter and not let his beard fall, for had it fallen maybe their fine scheme would have come to nothing; but now seeing the boon granted, and the promptitude with which Don Quixote prepared to set out in compliance with it, he rose and took his lady’s hand, and between them they placed her upon the mule. Don Quixote then mounted Rocinante, and the barber settled himself on his beast, Sancho being left to go on foot, which made him feel anew the loss of his Dapple, finding the want of him now. But he bore all with cheerfulness, being persuaded that his master had now fairly started and was just on the point of becoming an emperor; for he felt no doubt at all that he would marry this princess, and be king of Micomicon at least. The only thing that troubled him was the reflection that this kingdom was in the land of the blacks, and that the people they would give him for vassals would be all black; but for this he soon found a remedy in his fancy, and said he to himself, “What is it to me if my vassals are blacks? What more have I to do than make a cargo of them and carry them to Spain, where I can sell them and get ready money for them, and with it buy some title or some office in which to live at ease all the days of my life? Not unless you go to sleep and haven’t the wit or skill to turn things to account and sell three, six, or ten thousand vassals while you would he talking about it! By God I will stir them up, big and little, or as best I can, and let them be ever so black I’ll turn them into white or yellow. Come, come, what a fool I am!” And so he jogged on, so occupied with his thoughts and easy in his mind that he forgot all about the hardship of travelling on foot.

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Cardenio and the curate were watching all this from among some bushes, not knowing how to join company with the others; but the curate, who was very fertile in devices, soon hit upon a way of effecting their purpose, and with a pair of scissors he had in a case he quickly cut off Cardenio’s beard, and putting on him a grey jerkin of his own he gave him a black cloak, leaving himself in his breeches and doublet, while Cardenio’s appearance was so different from what it had been that he would not have known himself had he seen himself in a mirror. Having effected this, although the others had gone on ahead while they were disguising themselves, they easily came out on the high road before them, for the brambles and awkward places they encountered did not allow those on horseback to go as fast as those on foot. They then posted themselves on the level ground at the outlet of the Sierra, and as soon as Don Quixote and his companions emerged from it the curate began to examine him very deliberately, as though he were striving to recognise him, and after having stared at him for some time he hastened towards him with open arms exclaiming, “A happy meeting with the mirror of chivalry, my worthy compatriot Don Quixote of La Mancha, the flower and cream of high breeding, the protection and relief of the distressed, the quintessence of knights-errant!” And so saying he clasped in his arms the knee of Don Quixote’s left leg. He, astonished at the stranger’s words and behaviour, looked at him attentively, and at length recognised him, very much surprised to see him there, and made great efforts to dismount. This, however, the curate would not allow, on which Don Quixote said, “Permit me, senor licentiate, for it is not fitting that I should be on horseback and so reverend a person as your worship on foot.”

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“On no account will I allow it,” said the curate; “your mightiness must remain on horseback, for it is on horseback you achieve the greatest deeds and adventures that have been beheld in our age; as for me, an unworthy priest, it will serve me well enough to mount on the haunches of one of the mules of these gentlefolk who accompany your worship, if they have no objection, and I will fancy I am mounted on the steed Pegasus, or on the zebra or charger that bore the famous Moor, Muzaraque, who to this day lies enchanted in the great hill of Zulema, a little distance from the great Complutum.”

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“Nor even that will I consent to, senor licentiate,” answered Don Quixote, “and I know it will be the good pleasure of my lady the princess, out of love for me, to order her squire to give up the saddle of his mule to your worship, and he can sit behind if the beast will bear it.”

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“It will, I am sure,” said the princess, “and I am sure, too, that I need not order my squire, for he is too courteous and considerate to allow a Churchman to go on foot when he might be mounted.”

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“That he is,” said the barber, and at once alighting, he offered his saddle to the curate, who accepted it without much entreaty; but unfortunately as the barber was mounting behind, the mule, being as it happened a hired one, which is the same thing as saying ill-conditioned, lifted its hind hoofs and let fly a couple of kicks in the air, which would have made Master Nicholas wish his expedition in quest of Don Quixote at the devil had they caught him on the breast or head. As it was, they so took him by surprise that he came to the ground, giving so little heed to his beard that it fell off, and all he could do when he found himself without it was to cover his face hastily with both his hands and moan that his teeth were knocked out. Don Quixote when he saw all that bundle of beard detached, without jaws or blood, from the face of the fallen squire, exclaimed:

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“By the living God, but this is a great miracle! it has knocked off and plucked away the beard from his face as if it had been shaved off designedly.”

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The curate, seeing the danger of discovery that threatened his scheme, at once pounced upon the beard and hastened with it to where Master Nicholas lay, still uttering moans, and drawing his head to his breast had it on in an instant, muttering over him some words which he said were a certain special charm for sticking on beards, as they would see; and as soon as he had it fixed he left him, and the squire appeared well bearded and whole as before, whereat Don Quixote was beyond measure astonished, and begged the curate to teach him that charm when he had an opportunity, as he was persuaded its virtue must extend beyond the sticking on of beards, for it was clear that where the beard had been stripped off the flesh must have remained torn and lacerated, and when it could heal all that it must be good for more than beards.

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“And so it is,” said the curate, and he promised to teach it to him on the first opportunity. They then agreed that for the present the curate should mount, and that the three should ride by turns until they reached the inn, which might be about six leagues from where they were.

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Three then being mounted, that is to say, Don Quixote, the princess, and the curate, and three on foot, Cardenio, the barber, and Sancho Panza, Don Quixote said to the damsel:

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“Let your highness, lady, lead on whithersoever is most pleasing to you;” but before she could answer the licentiate said:

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“Towards what kingdom would your ladyship direct our course? Is it perchance towards that of Micomicon? It must be, or else I know little about kingdoms.”

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She, being ready on all points, understood that she was to answer “Yes,” so she said “Yes, senor, my way lies towards that kingdom.”

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“In that case,” said the curate, “we must pass right through my village, and there your worship will take the road to Cartagena, where you will be able to embark, fortune favouring; and if the wind be fair and the sea smooth and tranquil, in somewhat less than nine years you may come in sight of the great lake Meona, I mean Meotides, which is little more than a hundred days’ journey this side of your highness’s kingdom.”

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“Your worship is mistaken, senor,” said she; “for it is not two years since I set out from it, and though I never had good weather, nevertheless I am here to behold what I so longed for, and that is my lord Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose fame came to my ears as soon as I set foot in Spain and impelled me to go in search of him, to commend myself to his courtesy, and entrust the justice of my cause to the might of his invincible arm.”

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