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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 2 第13章|Part 2 Chapter 11

属类: 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读:[44653]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德,他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说,以至于放弃家业,用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子,再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从,三次出征周游全国,去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话,到处碰壁受辱,堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤,有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后,他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞,临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
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骑士和侍从分成两对,侍从谈自己的生活,骑士谈自己的爱情。故事首先介绍侍从的谈话,然后才是主人的议论。据说,两个侍从离开主人一段距离后,森林骑士的侍从对桑乔说:

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“我的大人,咱们这些当游侠骑士侍从的,日子过得真辛苦。上帝诅咒咱们的祖先时说过,让他们就着脸上的汗水吃面包。咱们现在就是这样。”

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“还可以说咱们是腹中冰冷吃面包。”桑乔说,“谁能像咱们游侠骑士的侍从这样经受严寒酷暑呢?如果有吃的还算好,肚里有食就不那么难受,可咱们常常是一两天没有吃的,只能喝风。”

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“不过与此同时,咱们也可望得到奖励。”森林骑士的侍从说,“如果被服侍的游侠骑士不是特别倒霉,侍从至少可以得到某个岛屿总督的美差,或者当个满不错的伯爵。”

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“我已经同我的主人讲过,”桑乔说,“我当个岛屿总督就满足了。我的主人已经慷慨地允诺过好几次了。”

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“我服侍主人一场,能随便有个美差就满足了。”森林骑士的侍从说,“我的主人已经答应给我一个美差,真不错!”

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“您的主人一定是个教团骑士,”桑乔说,“所以如果服侍得好,他就会奖励他的侍从。可我的主人绝对不是教团骑士。我记得有些聪明人曾劝他做红衣大主教,可我看那些人是别有用心,而我的主人一心只想当皇帝。我当时怕得要命,怕他忽然心血来潮,当了主教,因为教会里的事我做不了。我还可以告诉您,虽然我看起来像个人似的,可要是做起教会里的事来,那就连牲口都不如了。”

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“这您就错了,”森林骑士的侍从说,“岛屿总督也不是那么好干的。有的总督很不幸,有的很可怜,也有的悒悒不欢。混得好的也是心事重重,不得安宁,命运在他肩上放了一副沉重的担子。从事咱们这苦差的人最好都回家去,做些轻松的事情散散心,比如打猎钓鱼。世界上恐怕还没有哪位侍从穷得家里连一匹马、几只猎兔狗和一根钓鱼竿都没有。”

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“这些我都有,”桑乔说,“不过我没有马,这是真的。可是我有头驴,比我主人的马贵重两倍多。他要想换我这头驴,就是再加四担小麦,而且就在下个复活节换,我也不会换。算我复活节倒霉!我的小灰儿,我那头驴是灰色的,在我眼里是如此值钱,大概让您见笑了。至于猎兔狗,我有不少,我们村里也有的是。要是能借别人的光打猎就更有意思了。”

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“真的,”森林骑士的侍从说,“侍从大人,我已经打算并且决定离开这些疯疯癫癫的游侠骑士了。我要回到我的家乡去,哺养我的孩子们。我有三个东方明珠一般的孩子。”

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“我有两个孩子,”桑乔说,“漂亮得简直可以面见教皇。特别是我那女儿,上帝保佑,我准备培养她当伯爵夫人,不管她妈愿意不愿意。”

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“您那个准备做伯爵夫人的女儿芳龄多少啦?”森林骑士的侍从问。

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“十五岁上下,上下不相差两岁吧,”桑乔说,“已经长得像长矛一样高了,而且楚楚动人,力气大过脚夫。”

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“那她不仅可以做伯爵夫人,”森林骑士的侍从说,“而且可以做绿色森林的仙女。噢,这个婊子养的,多棒啊!”

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桑乔听了有些不高兴地说道:

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“她不是婊子,她妈也不是婊子。上帝保佑,只要我活着,她们谁也当不了婊子。您说话得有点礼貌,亏得您还受过游侠骑士的栽培呢,应该同游侠骑士一样有礼貌。我觉得您那些话说得不合适。”

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“哎呀,您怎么把这样高级的赞扬理解错了,侍从大人?”森林骑士的侍从说,“您怎么会不知道,如果一位骑士在斗牛场上往牛背扎了很漂亮的一枪,或者某个人某件事干得非常出色时,人家往往说:‘嘿,这个婊子养的,干得真棒!’这句话貌似粗野,实际上是很高的赞扬。大人,如果您的儿子或女儿没有做出令他们的父母受到如此称赞的事业来,您就别认他们。”

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“是的,那我就不认他们。”桑乔说,“既然这样,您完全可以把我和我的孩子、老婆都称作婊子。我的老婆孩子的所作所为对这种赞扬绝对受之无愧。为了能够回去见到他们,我祈求上帝免除我的死罪,也就是免除我当侍从的危险行当。我鬼迷心窍,再一次从事了侍从的行当。有一天,我曾在莫雷纳山深处捡到一个装着一百杜卡多的口袋,魔鬼把钱袋一会儿放这儿,一会儿放那儿,让我觉得似乎唾手可得,可以把它抱回家,用来放印子,收利息,过无忧无虑的日子。也就是这种打算让我跟着我这位愚蠢的主人含垢忍辱,我知道,与其说他是骑士,还不如说他是个疯子!”

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“所以人们常说,贪得无厌。”森林骑士的侍从说,“要提到疯子,我的主人可谓天下第一。你应该明白,‘驴子劳累死,全为别人忙’。他为了让别的骑士恢复神志,自己反而变疯了;他要寻找的东西,要是真找到了,我不知道他会不会又后悔。”

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“他大概正在恋爱吧?”桑乔问。

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“是的,”森林骑士的侍从说,“他爱上了班达利亚的卡西尔德亚。世界上恐怕再没有比她更冷冰冰的女人了。不过,她最坏的地方还不在于冷冰冰,而在于她有一肚子坏水,并且很快就能显露出来。”

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“世上无坦途,”桑乔说,“总不免有些磕磕碰碰;‘家家有本难念的经,而我家的经最难念’;‘疯子的伙伴倒比正常人的多’。不过,有句俗话说得很对,‘债多不愁,人多不忧’,有您在我就感到宽慰了,因为您服侍的主人同我的主人一样愚蠢。”

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“蠢是蠢,但是很勇敢,”森林骑士的侍从说,“而且论起卑鄙来,比愚蠢和勇敢的程度还要厉害得多。”

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“我的主人不这样。”桑乔说,“我认为他一点儿也不卑鄙,相反,人很实在,不对任何人使坏,而且对所有人都好,绝无害人之心。如果一个孩子告诉他白天是黑夜,他也会相信。就冲他这种单纯劲儿,我就从心眼里喜欢他,他就是做出再愚蠢的事,我也不忍心离开他。”

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“即使如此,兄弟呀,”森林骑士的侍从说,“瞎子领瞎子,就有双双掉进坑里的危险。咱们最好趁早止步,干咱们自己的事情去。要征险并不等于就能征到真正的艰险。”

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桑乔不时地吐点儿什么,看样子是很粘的唾液。森林骑士那位好心肠的侍从看到了,说道:

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“我觉得咱们说得太多了,舌头和上腭都快粘上了。我那匹马的鞍架上带着点儿生津的东西,效果挺不错的。”

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说着他站了起来,不一会儿就拿回一大皮囊葡萄酒和一个大馅饼。我一点儿不夸张,那馅饼足有一尺见方。馅是用一只大白兔的肉做的。桑乔摸了摸,以为是一只羊的肉做的,而且不是小羊羔,是大山羊。桑乔说:

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“难道您把这个也随身带着,大人?”

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“怎么,想不到吧?”那个侍从说,“我不过是个微不足道的侍从,但是我在马屁股上带的食物比一个将军出门时带的食物还要好。”

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不等人家让,桑乔就狼吞虎咽地吃起来了,还说:

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“您真是个忠实合格的侍从,既普通又优秀,而且伟大,这顿饭就可以证明这一点,除非这顿饭是魔法变出来的。看样子它倒是有点像变出来的。我就不行了,既卑微又倒霉。我的褡裢里只有一点奶酪,还挺硬,硬得能把巨人的脑袋打破。此外,还有几十个野豌豆,几十个榛子和胡桃。这全怨我的主人墨守成规,坚持认为游侠骑士只能用干果和田野里的野草充饥。”

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“兄弟,”森林骑士的侍从说,“我相信我的胃受不了什么洋蓟、野梨和山里的野根。让咱们的主人去说他们的骑士规矩吧,让他们去吃他们说应该吃的东西吧,反正我带着凉菜盒,鞍架上还带着酒囊,算作备用。我特别喜欢酒,不时要抱着酒囊亲亲。”

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说完,他把酒囊递给桑乔。桑乔把酒囊举到嘴边,头朝上足有一刻钟。喝完后,他把头垂到一旁,长吁了一口气,说:

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“嘿,婊子养的,好家伙,真不错!”

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“您称赞酒好怎么能说是‘婊子养的’呢?”森林骑士的侍从听到桑乔说“婊子养的”,就对桑乔说道。

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“如果是赞美,”桑乔说,“称某人‘婊子养的’并不是贬义。凭您最喜爱的年代发誓,大人,请您告诉我,这酒是皇城里出的吗?”

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“好一个品酒鬼!”森林骑士的侍从说,“这酒正是皇城里出的,而且是陈年老酒。”

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“瞒得了我吗?”桑乔说,“可别小看了我这套本领。侍从大人,我天生就有高超的品酒本领难道不好吗?只要让我闻一闻某种酒,我就可以准确地说出它的产地、品种、味道、贮存时间、是否还会变化以及其他种种有关情况。不过,这也没什么可惊奇的,我家祖上就有两位是曼查多年从未有过的优秀品酒师。为了证明这点,我给您讲一件他们的事。有一次,人们拉来一桶葡萄酒让他们品尝,请他们两人说说酒的质量好坏。他们一个用舌头尖舔了舔酒,另一个只是把鼻子凑到酒前闻了闻。第一个人说有股铁器味,第二个人说还有熟羊皮味。可酒的主人说酒桶是干净的,酒里没有放任何鞣料,不会产生出什么铁器味和熟羊皮味。尽管如此,两位著名的品酒师仍然坚持自己的说法。过了一段时间之后,酒卖完了,人们刷酒桶的时候发现,里面有一串用熟羊皮圈拴着的小钥匙。这回您就该知道了,出身世家,自有所长。”

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“所以我说,”森林骑士的侍从说,“咱们也别去征什么险了。家里有面包,就不必去找蛋糕,还是回家好。要是上帝想找咱们,就到咱们家里去找吧。”

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“等我服侍主人到了萨拉戈萨以后,咱们再商量。”

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后来,两位友好的侍从又是说又是喝,直到困倦了才闭上嘴,缓解一下口渴。要想让他们不渴是不可能的。两个人抓着已经快空了的酒囊,嘴里含着还没嚼烂的食物睡着了。咱们现在别再说他们了,来谈谈森林骑士和猥獕骑士那儿的事吧。

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Dejected beyond measure did Don Quixote pursue his journey, turning over in his mind the cruel trick the enchanters had played him in changing his lady Dulcinea into the vile shape of the village lass, nor could he think of any way of restoring her to her original form; and these reflections so absorbed him, that without being aware of it he let go Rocinante’s bridle, and he, perceiving the liberty that was granted him, stopped at every step to crop the fresh grass with which the plain abounded.

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Sancho recalled him from his reverie. “Melancholy, senor,” said he, “was made, not for beasts, but for men; but if men give way to it overmuch they turn to beasts; control yourself, your worship; be yourself again; gather up Rocinante’s reins; cheer up, rouse yourself and show that gallant spirit that knights-errant ought to have. What the devil is this? What weakness is this? Are we here or in France? The devil fly away with all the Dulcineas in the world; for the well-being of a single knight-errant is of more consequence than all the enchantments and transformations on earth.”

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hush, Sancho,” said Don Quixote in a weak and faint voice, “hush and utter no blasphemies against that enchanted lady; for I alone am to blame for her misfortune and hard fate; her calamity has come of the hatred the wicked bear me.”

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“So say I,” returned Sancho; “his heart rend in twain, I trow, who saw her once, to see her now.”

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“Thou mayest well say that, Sancho,” replied Don Quixote, “as thou sawest her in the full perfection of her beauty; for the enchantment does not go so far as to pervert thy vision or hide her loveliness from thee; against me alone and against my eyes is the strength of its venom directed. Nevertheless, there is one thing which has occurred to me, and that is that thou didst ill describe her beauty to me, for, as well as I recollect, thou saidst that her eyes were pearls; but eyes that are like pearls are rather the eyes of a sea-bream than of a lady, and I am persuaded that Dulcinea’s must be green emeralds, full and soft, with two rainbows for eyebrows; take away those pearls from her eyes and transfer them to her teeth; for beyond a doubt, Sancho, thou hast taken the one for the other, the eyes for the teeth.”

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“Very likely,” said Sancho; “for her beauty bewildered me as much as her ugliness did your worship; but let us leave it all to God, who alone knows what is to happen in this vale of tears, in this evil world of ours, where there is hardly a thing to be found without some mixture of wickedness, roguery, and rascality. But one thing, senor, troubles me more than all the rest, and that is thinking what is to be done when your worship conquers some giant, or some other knight, and orders him to go and present himself before the beauty of the lady Dulcinea. Where is this poor giant, or this poor wretch of a vanquished knight, to find her? I think I can see them wandering all over El Toboso, looking like noddies, and asking for my lady Dulcinea; and even if they meet her in the middle of the street they won’t know her any more than they would my father.”

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“Perhaps, Sancho,” returned Don Quixote, “the enchantment does not go so far as to deprive conquered and presented giants and knights of the power of recognising Dulcinea; we will try by experiment with one or two of the first I vanquish and send to her, whether they see her or not, by commanding them to return and give me an account of what happened to them in this respect.”

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“I declare, I think what your worship has proposed is excellent,” said Sancho; “and that by this plan we shall find out what we want to know; and if it be that it is only from your worship she is hidden, the misfortune will be more yours than hers; but so long as the lady Dulcinea is well and happy, we on our part will make the best of it, and get on as well as we can, seeking our adventures, and leaving Time to take his own course; for he is the best physician for these and greater ailments.”

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Don Quixote was about to reply to Sancho Panza, but he was prevented by a cart crossing the road full of the most diverse and strange personages and figures that could be imagined. He who led the mules and acted as carter was a hideous demon; the cart was open to the sky, without a tilt or cane roof, and the first figure that presented itself to Don Quixote’s eyes was that of Death itself with a human face; next to it was an angel with large painted wings, and at one side an emperor, with a crown, to all appearance of gold, on his head. At the feet of Death was the god called Cupid, without his bandage, but with his bow, quiver, and arrows; there was also a knight in full armour, except that he had no morion or helmet, but only a hat decked with plumes of divers colours; and along with these there were others with a variety of costumes and faces. All this, unexpectedly encountered, took Don Quixote somewhat aback, and struck terror into the heart of Sancho; but the next instant Don Quixote was glad of it, believing that some new perilous adventure was presenting itself to him, and under this impression, and with a spirit prepared to face any danger, he planted himself in front of the cart, and in a loud and menacing tone, exclaimed, “Carter, or coachman, or devil, or whatever thou art, tell me at once who thou art, whither thou art going, and who these folk are thou carriest in thy wagon, which looks more like Charon’s boat than an ordinary cart.”

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To which the devil, stopping the cart, answered quietly, “Senor, we are players of Angulo el Malo’s company; we have been acting the play of ‘The Cortes of Death’ this morning, which is the octave of Corpus Christi, in a village behind that hill, and we have to act it this afternoon in that village which you can see from this; and as it is so near, and to save the trouble of undressing and dressing again, we go in the costumes in which we perform. That lad there appears as Death, that other as an angel, that woman, the manager’s wife, plays the queen, this one the soldier, that the emperor, and I the devil; and I am one of the principal characters of the play, for in this company I take the leading parts. If you want to know anything more about us, ask me and I will answer with the utmost exactitude, for as I am a devil I am up to everything.”

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“By the faith of a knight-errant,” replied Don Quixote, “when I saw this cart I fancied some great adventure was presenting itself to me; but I declare one must touch with the hand what appears to the eye, if illusions are to be avoided. God speed you, good people; keep your festival, and remember, if you demand of me ought wherein I can render you a service, I will do it gladly and willingly, for from a child I was fond of the play, and in my youth a keen lover of the actor’s art.”

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While they were talking, fate so willed it that one of the company in a mummers’ dress with a great number of bells, and armed with three blown ox-bladders at the end of a stick, joined them, and this merry-andrew approaching Don Quixote, began flourishing his stick and banging the ground with the bladders and cutting capers with great jingling of the bells, which untoward apparition so startled Rocinante that, in spite of Don Quixote’s efforts to hold him in, taking the bit between his teeth he set off across the plain with greater speed than the bones of his anatomy ever gave any promise of.

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Sancho, who thought his master was in danger of being thrown, jumped off Dapple, and ran in all haste to help him; but by the time he reached him he was already on the ground, and beside him was Rocinante, who had come down with his master, the usual end and upshot of Rocinante’s vivacity and high spirits. But the moment Sancho quitted his beast to go and help Don Quixote, the dancing devil with the bladders jumped up on Dapple, and beating him with them, more by the fright and the noise than by the pain of the blows, made him fly across the fields towards the village where they were going to hold their festival. Sancho witnessed Dapple’s career and his master’s fall, and did not know which of the two cases of need he should attend to first; but in the end, like a good squire and good servant, he let his love for his master prevail over his affection for his ass; though every time he saw the bladders rise in the air and come down on the hind quarters of his Dapple he felt the pains and terrors of death, and he would have rather had the blows fall on the apples of his own eyes than on the least hair of his ass’s tail. In this trouble and perplexity he came to where Don Quixote lay in a far sorrier plight than he liked, and having helped him to mount Rocinante, he said to him, “Senor, the devil has carried off my Dapple.”

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“What devil?” asked Don Quixote.

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“The one with the bladders,” said Sancho.

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“Then I will recover him,” said Don Quixote, “even if he be shut up with him in the deepest and darkest dungeons of hell. Follow me, Sancho, for the cart goes slowly, and with the mules of it I will make good the loss of Dapple.”

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“You need not take the trouble, senor,” said Sancho; “keep cool, for as I now see, the devil has let Dapple go and he is coming back to his old quarters;” and so it turned out, for, having come down with Dapple, in imitation of Don Quixote and Rocinante, the devil made off on foot to the town, and the ass came back to his master.

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“For all that,” said Don Quixote, “it will be well to visit the discourtesy of that devil upon some of those in the cart, even if it were the emperor himself.”

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“Don’t think of it, your worship,” returned Sancho; “take my advice and never meddle with actors, for they are a favoured class; I myself have known an actor taken up for two murders, and yet come off scot-free; remember that, as they are merry folk who give pleasure, everyone favours and protects them, and helps and makes much of them, above all when they are those of the royal companies and under patent, all or most of whom in dress and appearance look like princes.”

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“Still, for all that,” said Don Quixote, “the player devil must not go off boasting, even if the whole human race favours him.”

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So saying, he made for the cart, which was now very near the town, shouting out as he went, “Stay! halt! ye merry, jovial crew! I want to teach you how to treat asses and animals that serve the squires of knights-errant for steeds.”

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So loud were the shouts of Don Quixote, that those in the cart heard and understood them, and, guessing by the words what the speaker’s intention was, Death in an instant jumped out of the cart, and the emperor, the devil carter and the angel after him, nor did the queen or the god Cupid stay behind; and all armed themselves with stones and formed in line, prepared to receive Don Quixote on the points of their pebbles. Don Quixote, when he saw them drawn up in such a gallant array with uplifted arms ready for a mighty discharge of stones, checked Rocinante and began to consider in what way he could attack them with the least danger to himself. As he halted Sancho came up, and seeing him disposed to attack this well-ordered squadron, said to him, “It would be the height of madness to attempt such an enterprise; remember, senor, that against sops from the brook, and plenty of them, there is no defensive armour in the world, except to stow oneself away under a brass bell; and besides, one should remember that it is rashness, and not valour, for a single man to attack an army that has Death in it, and where emperors fight in person, with angels, good and bad, to help them; and if this reflection will not make you keep quiet, perhaps it will to know for certain that among all these, though they look like kings, princes, and emperors, there is not a single knight-errant.”

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“Now indeed thou hast hit the point, Sancho,” said Don Quixote, “which may and should turn me from the resolution I had already formed. I cannot and must not draw sword, as I have many a time before told thee, against anyone who is not a dubbed knight; it is for thee, Sancho, if thou wilt, to take vengeance for the wrong done to thy Dapple; and I will help thee from here by shouts and salutary counsels.”

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“There is no occasion to take vengeance on anyone, senor,” replied Sancho; “for it is not the part of good Christians to revenge wrongs; and besides, I will arrange it with my ass to leave his grievance to my good-will and pleasure, and that is to live in peace as long as heaven grants me life.”

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“Well,” said Don Quixote, “if that be thy determination, good Sancho, sensible Sancho, Christian Sancho, honest Sancho, let us leave these phantoms alone and turn to the pursuit of better and worthier adventures; for, from what I see of this country, we cannot fail to find plenty of marvellous ones in it.”

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He at once wheeled about, Sancho ran to take possession of his Dapple, Death and his flying squadron returned to their cart and pursued their journey, and thus the dread adventure of the cart of Death ended happily, thanks to the advice Sancho gave his master; who had, the following day, a fresh adventure, of no less thrilling interest than the last, with an enamoured knight-errant.

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