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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 2 第33章|Part 2 Chapter 31

属类: 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读:[44648]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德,他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说,以至于放弃家业,用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子,再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从,三次出征周游全国,去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话,到处碰壁受辱,堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤,有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后,他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞,临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
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据说桑乔那天没有睡午觉,因为他有言在先,所以吃完饭就去找公爵夫人了。公爵夫人很愿意听桑乔说话,就让他坐在自己身旁的矮凳上。桑乔很有教养,不肯坐。公爵夫人就让他以总督的身份坐下来,以侍从的身份说话。有这两种身份,就是勇士锡德·鲁伊·迪亚斯的椅子也能坐。桑乔耸了耸肩膀,表示服从,便坐下了。公爵夫人的所有女仆都过来了,极其安静地围着桑乔,想听听他到底讲什么。不料公爵夫人先开了口,她说道:

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“趁着现在没有外人在场听咱们说话,我想请教一下总督大人。我读了已经出版的那本写伟大骑士唐吉诃德的小说,有几个疑问,其中一个就是善良的桑乔既然没见过杜尔西内亚,我指的是托博索的杜尔西内亚夫人,也没有替唐吉诃德大人带信去,因为那封信还留在莫雷纳山唐吉诃德的记事本上,桑乔怎么敢大胆瞎编,说什么他看见杜尔西内亚夫人正在筛麦子呢?这是一派胡言,既不利于举世无双的杜尔西内亚的名誉,也与忠诚侍从的身份和品性不相称嘛。”

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桑乔一句话也没回答,站起身来,弯着腰,把手指放在嘴唇上,轻手轻脚沿着整个客厅走了一遍,又把所有窗帘都掀起来看了看,然后才重新坐下说道:

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“夫人,我刚才已经看过了,除了在场的各位之外,没有人偷听咱们的谈话。现在,无论是您刚才那个问题还是其他任何问题,我都可以放心大胆地回答了。我首先要告诉您的是,我的主人唐吉诃德是个十足的疯子,尽管有时候他说起事情来让我觉得,甚至让所有听他议论的人都觉得,他讲得明明白白,头头是道,连魔鬼都比不上。即使这样,我也可以坦率地说,他是个疯子。这点我已经想象到了,所以才敢瞎编一些完全是无中生有的事情,例如那次回信的事。还有一件七八天前的事,这件事还没写进小说里去呢,我认为应该写进去,那就是我们的夫人杜尔西内亚中魔法的事儿。我告诉他杜尔西内亚中了魔法,其实那是没影儿的事。”

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公爵夫人请桑乔讲讲那件事儿或者说那个玩笑,桑乔就一五一十地讲了一遍,在场的人都听得津津有味。后来公爵夫人说:

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“听了这位好桑乔讲的事儿,我不禁心生疑窦,仿佛有个确确实实的声音在我耳边说:‘如果曼查的唐吉诃德是个疯子、笨蛋,是个头脑发昏的人,而且他的侍从桑乔对此很清楚,尽管如此桑乔还是服侍他,跟随他,仍然执著地相信唐吉诃德那些不可能实现的诺言,那么,桑乔一定比自己的主人更疯癫、更愚蠢。既然这样,公爵夫人,你打算把岛屿交给他去管就是失策了。他连自己都管不好,怎么能管得好其他人呢?”

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“上帝保佑,夫人,”桑乔说,“您这个疑虑来得真突然。不过您尽可以直言,或者随您怎么说吧,我承认您说的是事实。我要是聪明的话,早就离开我的主人了。可这就是我的命运,是我的不幸。我只能跟随他。我们是同一个地方的人,我服侍过他,他是知恩图报的人,把他的几头驴驹给了我。更重要的是,我是个忠心的人。现在除了铁锹和锄头,已经没有任何东西能把我们分开了。如果您不愿意把已经答应的总督位置给我,我当总督就没希望了。不过,不当总督我心里更踏实。我虽然不聪明,却懂得‘蚂蚁遭祸因为长翅膀’,说不定当侍从的桑乔比当总督的桑乔更容易升天堂哩。‘此地彼处一样好’,‘夜晚猫儿都是褐色的’,‘人最大的不幸是下午两点还没吃上早饭’,‘谁的胃也不比别人的胃大多少’。而且就像人们常说的,‘不管是好是赖都能吃饱’,‘田间小鸟自有上帝供养’,‘四米昆卡粗呢比四米塞戈维亚细呢更保暖’呢。当我们离开这个世界入土的时候,无论是君主还是工友,都得同走这条狭路,无论是教皇还是教堂司事,谁的身体也多占不了地方,尽管前者比后者的身份高得多。只要进了坟墓,我们都得收缩,或者不由自主地收缩,不管我们愿意不愿意,不管我们知道不知道。

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“我再说一遍,如果您觉得我笨,不愿意把岛屿给我,我知道这跟聪明不聪明根本没关系。我听说,‘十字架后有魔鬼’,‘闪光的不一定都是金子’。如果古代叙事歌谣没有说谎的话,赶牛使犁拉轭绳的庄稼汉万巴后来成了西班牙国王;而细绸锦缎、花天酒地和堆金积玉的国王罗德里戈后来却被喂了蛇。”

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“怎么会说谎呢!”一直在旁边听着的那个女仆唐娜罗德里格斯插嘴道,“有一首歌谣就说罗德里戈国王被活活扔进一个满是癞蛤蟆、毒蛇和蜥蜴的坑里。两天之后,国王还在坑里低声沉痛地哼哼道:

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我的身上罪恶重,

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它们就在我身上咬。

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由此说来,这位大人说他宁愿做农夫而不愿做国王就很有道理了,免得被那些爬虫吃了。”

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听了女仆的这些蠢话,公爵夫人可笑不出来了。同时,她对桑乔的那番议论和成串的俗语感到惊奇,对桑乔说道:

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“你知道,好桑乔,君子一言,即使豁出性命也得兑现。我的丈夫公爵大人虽然不是游侠骑士,但这并不等于他不是君子,所以他一定会履行他的诺言,把岛屿给你,不管其他人如何嫉妒,如何捣乱。打起精神来吧,桑乔,你会在你意想不到的时候坐上岛屿总督的宝座,行使你的管辖权。除非以后有更好的美差,你千万不要放弃。我要提醒你,你要注意管好你的臣民,他们都忠心耿耿,而且出身高贵。”

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“应该好好管理他们之类的话不用您嘱咐我,”桑乔说,“我生性仁慈,而且同情穷人。别人的事情别人做,谁也别惦记。我凭我的信仰发誓,谁也别想哄我。我也算个老家伙了,什么都见过。我知道该怎么应付事儿,谁也别想糊弄我,我自己怎么回事我自己知道。我说这些话无非是说,谁若是对我好,什么都好商量,若是对我不好,那就什么都别提了。我觉得当总督这样的事关键在于开头,等当了一段时间后就会得心应手,而且会比我从小就熟悉的农村活计更熟悉。”

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“你说得对,桑乔,”公爵夫人说,“谁也不是生来就会做事的。主教也来自人间,而不是石头造就的。不过,咱们还是回到刚才谈到的杜尔西内亚夫人中魔法那件事上来吧。我现在已经查明,桑乔自以为他戏弄了主人,让主人以为那个农妇就是杜尔西内亚,如果主人没有认出杜尔西内亚,那就是杜尔西内亚被魔法改变了模样,所有这些都是跟唐吉诃德大人过不去的某个魔法师一手造成的。但是我确信,跳上驴背的那个农妇真的是托博索的杜尔西内亚。善良的桑乔以为他骗了人,其实是他自己被骗了。有些事我们虽然没亲眼看到,却是确凿无疑的事实。桑乔你应该知道,我们这儿也有魔法师,只不过他们对我们很友好,告诉我们世界上发生的各种事情,而且原原本本,没有任何编造。相信我吧,桑乔,那个跳上驴背的农妇就是托博索的杜尔西内亚,此事千真万确!说不定哪一天,咱们就会看到杜尔西内亚的本来面目,到那个时候桑乔就会明白是自己上当了。”

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“这倒完全有可能。”桑乔说,“我现在愿意相信,我的主人介绍的他在蒙特西诺斯洞窟里的见闻都是真的,他说他看见杜尔西内亚夫人穿的就是我胡说她被魔法改变模样后穿的那套衣服。可是若照夫人您所说,这一切都该是相反的。我的低下智力既不会也不应该一下子编出那么完整的谎话来。我的主人即使再疯癫,也不会相信一套如此荒诞离奇的事情。夫人,您不要以为我有什么坏心,像我这样一个笨蛋,不可能识破魔法师的恶毒诡计。我编造那个谎话是为了逃脱主人对我的惩罚,并不是存心同他捣乱。如果事与愿违,有上帝在天上可以明断。”

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“此话有理,”公爵夫人说,“不过桑乔,你给我讲讲蒙特西诺斯洞窟是怎么回事吧,我很想听呢。”

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于是,桑乔又把那次经历的事情讲了一遍。公爵夫人听罢说道:

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“从这件事里可以推断出,伟大的唐吉诃德说他看到了桑乔在托博索城外看到的那位农妇,那么她肯定就是杜尔西内亚。那儿的魔法师都很精明,很不一般。”

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“所以我说,”桑乔说,“如果我们的杜尔西内亚夫人中了魔法,那就由她去受罪吧。我犯不着去同我主人的冤家对头打架,他们人数很多,又很恶毒。我看到了一位农妇,这是事实,我觉得她是个农妇,所以就认为她是农妇了。如果那人是杜尔西内亚,我并不知情,所以不怨我,无论如何也不能怨我。你们不要总是怨我,整天吵吵嚷嚷什么‘这是桑乔说的’,‘这是桑乔做的’,‘这又是桑乔做的’,‘这还是桑乔干的’,就好像桑乔是谁都可以指责的人,而不是桑乔本来那个人,参孙·卡拉斯科说的那个已经被写进书里的桑乔似的。参孙·卡拉斯科至少是在萨拉曼卡毕业的学士,他不应该说谎,除非是别有用心。所以,谁也没必要跟我过不去,我已经名声在外了。我听我主人说,一个人的名声比很多财富都重要。所以,还是让我去当总督吧,我一定会放大家喜出望外。能当好侍从的人,也能当好总督。”

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“善良的桑乔刚才说的全是卡顿式的警句,”公爵夫人说,“至少像英年早逝的米卡埃尔·贝里诺的思想,就像他自己说的那样,‘穿破衣不妨有海量’。”

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“是的,夫人,”桑乔说,“我这辈子从没喝多过,除非有时候口渴了。我从来也不装模作样,想喝就喝,不想喝的时候,如果有人请我喝,为了不让人以为我假惺惺或者没规矩,我也喝。朋友请我干一杯,我不回敬人家一杯,那心肠也未免太狠了吧?不过,我虽然常在河边走,就是不湿鞋。况且,游侠骑士的侍从平时只喝水,因为他们常常出没于深山老林,走荒野,攀峭壁,即使出再大的价钱,也换不到一丁点儿葡萄酒。”

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“我也这样认为。”公爵夫人说,“现在,让桑乔先去休息吧,然后咱们再长谈。我们很快就会像桑乔说的那样,把他放到总督职位上去。”

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桑乔又吻了公爵夫人的手,并请求公爵夫人照看好他的灰灰儿,灰灰儿简直就是他的命根子。

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“什么灰灰儿?”公爵夫人问。

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“就是我的驴。”桑乔说,“我不愿意叫它驴,所以叫它灰灰。我刚到城堡时,曾请求那位女仆帮我照看它,结果把她吓成那个样子,好像谁说她丑了或者老了似的。其实,喂牲口跟在客厅里装门面相比更是她份内的事。上帝保信,我们家乡有个绅士,对这种婆娘简直讨厌透了!”

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“他大概是个乡巴佬吧。”女佣唐娜罗德里格斯说,“如果他是个绅士,有教养,就会把女仆们捧上天。”

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“好了,”公爵夫人说,“别再说了,唐娜罗德里格斯快住嘴吧,桑乔大人也静一静,照管灰灰的事儿由我负责。既然它是桑乔的宠物,我一定会像对待自己的眼睛一样对待它。”

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“让它呆在马厩里就行了。”桑乔说,“要说您像对待自己的眼睛一样对待它,无论是它还是我,都实在不敢当,让我简直如坐针毡。尽管我的主人说过,即使输牌,也要先输大的,可是对驴就不一样了,应该照章办事,公事公办。”

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“你带着驴去上任当总督吧,”公爵夫人说,“到了那儿,你可以如意地伺候它,也可以让它退休。”

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“公爵夫人,”桑乔说,“您不要以为您说得言过其实了。我就见过至少有两个人是骑着驴去当总督的。所以,我骑着我的驴上任当总督也算不得新鲜事儿。”

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桑乔这番话又惹得公爵夫人开心地大笑起来。她打发桑乔去休息,自己则把刚刚发生的事情都告诉了公爵。两人又一同策划完全按招待骑士的那套方法招待唐吉诃德,好拿他开开心。他们的玩笑开得精彩别致,在这部巨著里是十分出色的。

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Supreme was the satisfaction that Sancho felt at seeing himself, as it seemed, an established favourite with the duchess, for he looked forward to finding in her castle what he had found in Don Diego’s house and in Basilio’s; he was always fond of good living, and always seized by the forelock any opportunity of feasting himself whenever it presented itself. The history informs us, then, that before they reached the country house or castle, the duke went on in advance and instructed all his servants how they were to treat Don Quixote; and so the instant he came up to the castle gates with the duchess, two lackeys or equerries, clad in what they call morning gowns of fine crimson satin reaching to their feet, hastened out, and catching Don Quixote in their arms before he saw or heard them, said to him, “Your highness should go and take my lady the duchess off her horse.”

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Don Quixote obeyed, and great bandying of compliments followed between the two over the matter; but in the end the duchess’s determination carried the day, and she refused to get down or dismount from her palfrey except in the arms of the duke, saying she did not consider herself worthy to impose so unnecessary a burden on so great a knight. At length the duke came out to take her down, and as they entered a spacious court two fair damsels came forward and threw over Don Quixote’s shoulders a large mantle of the finest scarlet cloth, and at the same instant all the galleries of the court were lined with the men-servants and women-servants of the household, crying, “Welcome, flower and cream of knight-errantry!” while all or most of them flung pellets filled with scented water over Don Quixote and the duke and duchess; at all which Don Quixote was greatly astonished, and this was the first time that he thoroughly felt and believed himself to be a knight-errant in reality and not merely in fancy, now that he saw himself treated in the same way as he had read of such knights being treated in days of yore.

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Sancho, deserting Dapple, hung on to the duchess and entered the castle, but feeling some twinges of conscience at having left the ass alone, he approached a respectable duenna who had come out with the rest to receive the duchess, and in a low voice he said to her, “Senora Gonzalez, or however your grace may be called — ”

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“I am called Dona Rodriguez de Grijalba,” replied the duenna; “what is your will, brother?” To which Sancho made answer, “I should be glad if your worship would do me the favour to go out to the castle gate, where you will find a grey ass of mine; make them, if you please, put him in the stable, or put him there yourself, for the poor little beast is rather easily frightened, and cannot bear being alone at all.”

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“If the master is as wise as the man,” said the duenna, “we have got a fine bargain. Be off with you, brother, and bad luck to you and him who brought you here; go, look after your ass, for we, the duennas of this house, are not used to work of that sort.”

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“Well then, in troth,” returned Sancho, “I have heard my master, who is the very treasure-finder of stories, telling the story of Lancelot when he came from Britain, say that ladies waited upon him and duennas upon his hack; and, if it comes to my ass, I wouldn’t change him for Senor Lancelot’s hack.”

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“If you are a jester, brother,” said the duenna, “keep your drolleries for some place where they’ll pass muster and be paid for; for you’ll get nothing from me but a fig.”

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“At any rate, it will be a very ripe one,” said Sancho, “for you won’t lose the trick in years by a point too little.”

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“Son of a bitch,” said the duenna, all aglow with anger, “whether I’m old or not, it’s with God I have to reckon, not with you, you garlic-stuffed scoundrel!” and she said it so loud, that the duchess heard it, and turning round and seeing the duenna in such a state of excitement, and her eyes flaming so, asked whom she was wrangling with.

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“With this good fellow here,” said the duenna, “who has particularly requested me to go and put an ass of his that is at the castle gate into the stable, holding it up to me as an example that they did the same I don’t know where — that some ladies waited on one Lancelot, and duennas on his hack; and what is more, to wind up with, he called me old.”

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“That,” said the duchess, “I should have considered the greatest affront that could be offered me;” and addressing Sancho, she said to him, “You must know, friend Sancho, that Dona Rodriguez is very youthful, and that she wears that hood more for authority and custom sake than because of her years.”

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“May all the rest of mine be unlucky,” said Sancho, “if I meant it that way; I only spoke because the affection I have for my ass is so great, and I thought I could not commend him to a more kind-hearted person than the lady Dona Rodriguez.”

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Don Quixote, who was listening, said to him, “Is this proper conversation for the place, Sancho?”

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Senor,” replied Sancho, “every one must mention what he wants wherever he may be; I thought of Dapple here, and I spoke of him here; if I had thought of him in the stable I would have spoken there.”

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On which the duke observed, “Sancho is quite right, and there is no reason at all to find fault with him; Dapple shall be fed to his heart’s content, and Sancho may rest easy, for he shall be treated like himself.”

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While this conversation, amusing to all except Don Quixote, was proceeding, they ascended the staircase and ushered Don Quixote into a chamber hung with rich cloth of gold and brocade; six damsels relieved him of his armour and waited on him like pages, all of them prepared and instructed by the duke and duchess as to what they were to do, and how they were to treat Don Quixote, so that he might see and believe they were treating him like a knight-errant. When his armour was removed, there stood Don Quixote in his tight-fitting breeches and chamois doublet, lean, lanky, and long, with cheeks that seemed to be kissing each other inside; such a figure, that if the damsels waiting on him had not taken care to check their merriment (which was one of the particular directions their master and mistress had given them), they would have burst with laughter. They asked him to let himself be stripped that they might put a shirt on him, but he would not on any account, saying that modesty became knights-errant just as much as valour. However, he said they might give the shirt to Sancho; and shutting himself in with him in a room where there was a sumptuous bed, he undressed and put on the shirt; and then, finding himself alone with Sancho, he said to him, “Tell me, thou new-fledged buffoon and old booby, Dost thou think it right to offend and insult a duenna so deserving of reverence and respect as that one just now? Was that a time to bethink thee of thy Dapple, or are these noble personages likely to let the beasts fare badly when they treat their owners in such elegant style? For God’s sake, Sancho, restrain thyself, and don’t show the thread so as to let them see what a coarse, boorish texture thou art of. Remember, sinner that thou art, the master is the more esteemed the more respectable and well-bred his servants are; and that one of the greatest advantages that princes have over other men is that they have servants as good as themselves to wait on them. Dost thou not see — shortsighted being that thou art, and unlucky mortal that I am! — that if they perceive thee to be a coarse clown or a dull blockhead, they will suspect me to be some impostor or swindler? Nay, nay, Sancho friend, keep clear, oh, keep clear of these stumbling-blocks; for he who falls into the way of being a chatterbox and droll, drops into a wretched buffoon the first time he trips; bridle thy tongue, consider and weigh thy words before they escape thy mouth, and bear in mind we are now in quarters whence, by God’s help, and the strength of my arm, we shall come forth mightily advanced in fame and fortune.”

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Sancho promised him with much earnestness to keep his mouth shut, and to bite off his tongue before he uttered a word that was not altogether to the purpose and well considered, and told him he might make his mind easy on that point, for it should never be discovered through him what they were.

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Don Quixote dressed himself, put on his baldric with his sword, threw the scarlet mantle over his shoulders, placed on his head a montera of green satin that the damsels had given him, and thus arrayed passed out into the large room, where he found the damsels drawn up in double file, the same number on each side, all with the appliances for washing the hands, which they presented to him with profuse obeisances and ceremonies. Then came twelve pages, together with the seneschal, to lead him to dinner, as his hosts were already waiting for him. They placed him in the midst of them, and with much pomp and stateliness they conducted him into another room, where there was a sumptuous table laid with but four covers. The duchess and the duke came out to the door of the room to receive him, and with them a grave ecclesiastic, one of those who rule noblemen’s houses; one of those who, not being born magnates themselves, never know how to teach those who are how to behave as such; one of those who would have the greatness of great folk measured by their own narrowness of mind; one of those who, when they try to introduce economy into the household they rule, lead it into meanness. One of this sort, I say, must have been the grave churchman who came out with the duke and duchess to receive Don Quixote.

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A vast number of polite speeches were exchanged, and at length, taking Don Quixote between them, they proceeded to sit down to table. The duke pressed Don Quixote to take the head of the table, and, though he refused, the entreaties of the duke were so urgent that he had to accept it.

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The ecclesiastic took his seat opposite to him, and the duke and duchess those at the sides. All this time Sancho stood by, gaping with amazement at the honour he saw shown to his master by these illustrious persons; and observing all the ceremonious pressing that had passed between the duke and Don Quixote to induce him to take his seat at the head of the table, he said, “If your worship will give me leave I will tell you a story of what happened in my village about this matter of seats.”

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The moment Sancho said this Don Quixote trembled, making sure that he was about to say something foolish. Sancho glanced at him, and guessing his thoughts, said, “Don’t be afraid of my going astray, senor, or saying anything that won’t be pat to the purpose; I haven’t forgotten the advice your worship gave me just now about talking much or little, well or ill.”

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“I have no recollection of anything, Sancho,” said Don Quixote; “say what thou wilt, only say it quickly.”

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“Well then,” said Sancho, “what I am going to say is so true that my master Don Quixote, who is here present, will keep me from lying.”

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“Lie as much as thou wilt for all I care, Sancho,” said Don Quixote, “for I am not going to stop thee, but consider what thou art going to say.”

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“I have so considered and reconsidered,” said Sancho, “that the bell-ringer’s in a safe berth; as will be seen by what follows.”

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“It would be well,” said Don Quixote, “if your highnesses would order them to turn out this idiot, for he will talk a heap of nonsense.”

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“By the life of the duke, Sancho shall not be taken away from me for a moment,” said the duchess; “I am very fond of him, for I know he is very discreet.”

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Discreet be the days of your holiness,” said Sancho, “for the good opinion you have of my wit, though there’s none in me; but the story I want to tell is this. There was an invitation given by a gentleman of my town, a very rich one, and one of quality, for he was one of the Alamos of Medina del Campo, and married to Dona Mencia de Quinones, the daughter of Don Alonso de Maranon, Knight of the Order of Santiago, that was drowned at the Herradura — him there was that quarrel about years ago in our village, that my master Don Quixote was mixed up in, to the best of my belief, that Tomasillo the scapegrace, the son of Balbastro the smith, was wounded in. — Isn’t all this true, master mine? As you live, say so, that these gentlefolk may not take me for some lying chatterer.”

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“So far,” said the ecclesiastic, “I take you to be more a chatterer than a liar; but I don’t know what I shall take you for by-and-by.”

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“Thou citest so many witnesses and proofs, Sancho,” said Don Quixote, “that I have no choice but to say thou must be telling the truth; go on, and cut the story short, for thou art taking the way not to make an end for two days to come.”

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“He is not to cut it short,” said the duchess; “on the contrary, for my gratification, he is to tell it as he knows it, though he should not finish it these six days; and if he took so many they would be to me the pleasantest I ever spent.”

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“Well then, sirs, I say,” continued Sancho, “that this same gentleman, whom I know as well as I do my own hands, for it’s not a bowshot from my house to his, invited a poor but respectable labourer — ”

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“Get on, brother,” said the churchman; “at the rate you are going you will not stop with your story short of the next world.”

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“I’ll stop less than half-way, please God,” said Sancho; “and so I say this labourer, coming to the house of the gentleman I spoke of that invited him — rest his soul, he is now dead; and more by token he died the death of an angel, so they say; for I was not there, for just at that time I had gone to reap at Tembleque — ”

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“As you live, my son,” said the churchman, “make haste back from Tembleque, and finish your story without burying the gentleman, unless you want to make more funerals.”

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“Well then, it so happened,” said Sancho, “that as the pair of them were going to sit down to table — and I think I can see them now plainer than ever — ”

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Great was the enjoyment the duke and duchess derived from the irritation the worthy churchman showed at the long-winded, halting way Sancho had of telling his story, while Don Quixote was chafing with rage and vexation.

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“So, as I was saying,” continued Sancho, “as the pair of them were going to sit down to table, as I said, the labourer insisted upon the gentleman’s taking the head of the table, and the gentleman insisted upon the labourer’s taking it, as his orders should be obeyed in his house; but the labourer, who plumed himself on his politeness and good breeding, would not on any account, until the gentleman, out of patience, putting his hands on his shoulders, compelled him by force to sit down, saying, ‘Sit down, you stupid lout, for wherever I sit will he the head to you; and that’s the story, and, troth, I think it hasn’t been brought in amiss here.”

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Don Quixote turned all colours, which, on his sunburnt face, mottled it till it looked like jasper. The duke and duchess suppressed their laughter so as not altogether to mortify Don Quixote, for they saw through Sancho’s impertinence; and to change the conversation, and keep Sancho from uttering more absurdities, the duchess asked Don Quixote what news he had of the lady Dulcinea, and if he had sent her any presents of giants or miscreants lately, for he could not but have vanquished a good many.

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To which Don Quixote replied, “Senora, my misfortunes, though they had a beginning, will never have an end. I have vanquished giants and I have sent her caitiffs and miscreants; but where are they to find her if she is enchanted and turned into the most ill-favoured peasant wench that can be imagined?”

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The ecclesiastic, when he heard them talking of giants and caitiffs and enchantments, began to suspect that this must be Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose story the duke was always reading; and he had himself often reproved him for it, telling him it was foolish to read such fooleries; and becoming convinced that his suspicion was correct, addressing the duke, he said very angrily to him, “Senor, your excellence will have to give account to God for what this good man does. This Don Quixote, or Don Simpleton, or whatever his name is, cannot, I imagine, be such a blockhead as your excellence would have him, holding out encouragement to him to go on with his vagaries and follies.” Then turning to address Don Quixote he said, “And you, num-skull, who put it into your head that you are a knight-errant, and vanquish giants and capture miscreants? Go your ways in a good hour, and in a good hour be it said to you. Go home and bring up your children if you have any, and attend to your business, and give over going wandering about the world, gaping and making a laughing-stock of yourself to all who know you and all who don’t. Where, in heaven’s name, have you discovered that there are or ever were knights-errant? Where are there giants in Spain or miscreants in La Mancha, or enchanted Dulcineas, or all the rest of the silly things they tell about you?”

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Don Quixote listened attentively to the reverend gentleman’s words, and as soon as he perceived he had done speaking, regardless of the presence of the duke and duchess, he sprang to his feet with angry looks and an agitated countenance, and said — But the reply deserves a chapter to itself.

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