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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 2 第42章|Part 2 Chapter 40

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读：[44817]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德，他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说，以至于放弃家业，用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子，再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从，三次出征周游全国，去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话，到处碰壁受辱，堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤，有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后，他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞，临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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的谆谆教导以及其他深思熟虑的嘱咐

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所谓忧伤妇人苦难的滑稽闹剧顺利结束。公爵和公爵夫人见唐吉诃德和桑乔竟信以为真，便决定把这个玩笑再开下去。于是，他们吩咐佣人和下属，继续同桑乔开总督的玩笑。第二天，也就是乘木马飞行之后的那天，公爵通知桑乔准备赴任去当总督，说他的岛屿臣民正对他翘首以待呢。桑乔对公爵鞠了一躬，说道：

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“自从我由天上下来之后，自从我居高临下地看地球，看到地球是那么小之后，我原来一心要当总督的劲头就有所减少了。在芥菜子那么大的地方当官有什么了不起呢？管辖十几个榛子大小的人也没什么可神气的。地球上难道就没有其他事可做了吗？如果您能给我一小块天空，哪怕只有半里地，我也宁愿要这块天空，而不要地上最大的岛屿。”

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“可是桑乔朋友，”公爵说，“我不能给谁一小块天空，哪怕只是指甲那么大一块也不行。只有上帝才能恩赐天空。我能给你的只是一个地地道道的岛屿，十分肥沃。你如果真有本领，完全可以利用地上的财富去赢得天上的财富。”

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“那好，”桑乔说，“我就要那个岛屿吧。我一定当好总督。不过，即使有千难万险，以后我还是要上天。这倒不是我贪心太大或者不自量力，我只是想尝尝当总督的滋味。”

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“一旦你尝到了这种滋味，桑乔，”公爵说，“你肯定会难舍难离。发号施令是一件很美的事情。根据目前的情况，你的主人准会当上皇帝。我敢肯定，他当了皇帝以后，谁也别想再把他拉下来。到那时，他心里最难受的肯定是没能早点当上皇帝。”

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“大人，”桑乔说，“我觉得，即使是对一群牲畜发号施令，也是件挺美的事儿。”

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“我的看法和你一样，桑乔，你真是心明眼亮。”公爵说，“我希望你能做个像你说的那样的总督。这件事就说到这儿吧。明天你就要去做岛屿总督了，今天下午，你就收拾该准备的衣服和其他启程需要的东西吧。”

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“随便给我穿什么都行，”桑乔说，“不管穿什么衣服，我总归是桑乔。”

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“话虽这么说，”公爵说，“衣服还是应该与人的职业和身份相称。法官穿得像个士兵就不合适，士兵穿得像个牧师也不妥。你得穿得既像文官，又像武官，因为在我给你的那个岛上，既需要文，也需要武，既需要武，也需要文。”

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“若论文的我不行，”桑乔说，“我大字不识一个。不过，只要我记好一个‘十’字，就能当好总督。若论武的，给我什么家伙我都能使，直到使不动为止，到那时就只好听天由命了。”

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“你既然有这么好的记性，”公爵说，“就不会出错儿。”

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这时候唐吉诃德来了。他听说桑乔要当总督，而且马上就要赴任，便征得公爵同意，拉着桑乔的手，来到自己的房间，想告诉桑乔应该怎样当总督。一进房间，唐吉诃德就随手关上门，几乎是硬按着桑乔坐在自己身边，心平气和地说道：

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“我得万分感谢老天，桑乔朋友，老天让你先于我交上了好运。我本来指望待我发迹后再酬劳你。现在我刚刚开始时来运转，你却超乎常规地提前实现了自己的愿望。有的人又是贿赂，又是托人，又是起早贪黑，又是乞求，又是纠缠，却并没有得到他们想要得到的东西。而有的人还不知道是怎么回事，就得到了别人梦寐以求的职位。在我看来，你只不过是个笨蛋，并没有起早贪黑地干，也没有出什么气力，只凭游侠骑士给你带来的福分，就不费吹灰之力地成了一个岛屿的总督。桑乔，我说这些无非是让你不要把得来的好处归功于自己，而应该感谢暗中掌握着万物的老天，还应该感谢伟大的骑士道。你应该真心相信我对你说的这些话，孩子，仔细倾听你这位卡顿的话吧。他在开导你，他是指引你进入安全港湾的北斗星。你就要驶入惊涛骇浪的大海了，官场就好比是波涛汹涌的大海哟！

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“孩子，你首先应该畏惧上帝，畏惧上帝就是智慧，有了智慧就不会犯任何错误。

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“第二，你应该认清你自己到底是什么人，尽力做到有自知之明，这是最难能可贵的。有自知之明，你才不会像妄想跟牛比大小的蛤蟆那样自大。你得意忘形的时候，只须想想自己曾在家乡喂过猪，就会像开屏的孔雀看到自己的丑脚一样清醒了。”

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“话是这么说，”桑乔说，“但那时我还是个孩子。后来我大点儿了，喂的就是鹅而不是猪了。不过，我对此并不在意，并非所有的总督都是皇亲贵族呀！”

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“是啊，”唐吉诃德说，“所以，那些非贵族出身的人担任了要职，要宽以待人，谨慎处事，免得遭到恶意中伤。任何职位的人都可能遭到恶意中伤。

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“你应该以你的卑微出身为荣，桑乔，不要耻于说自己出自农家。只要你不作贱自己，别人也不会作贱你。你应该为自己是一个正直的平民，不是一个高贵的罪人而感到自豪。有许许多多出身低下的人最后当上了教皇或皇帝，这种情况的例子数不胜数哩。

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“桑乔，如果你以道德为重，以做正直的事情为荣，你就不必去羡慕那些豪门贵族，因为血统可以继承，道德却不能世袭。道德本身就具有价值，而血统本身却不值分文。

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“所以，假如你到了岛上，有什么亲戚来看望你，你不要撵他走，也不要对他发火，而应该热情款待他。这样不仅老天满意，因为老天总希望人们不鄙视自己的过去，而且也顺应了民情。

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“当总督的长期不带老婆恐怕不合适。如果你把老婆接去了，就应该教导她，使她克服陋习。常常有这种情况：一个贤明的总督做了好事，却被他愚蠢的老婆给毁了。

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“万一你成了鳏夫，这种事完全有可能发生，你想利用你的职位找到更好的配偶，可千万别找那种想拿你当工具，嘴里说不要，却伸着手要钱的女人。我告诉你，即使是法官的老婆勒索了别人的钱，到了阴间以后也还是要法官把他生前该负责的那部分加倍偿还。

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“许多自以为聪明的蠢人总是依照自己的意志办案，你可千万不要这样。

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“无论是富人许诺或馈赠，还是穷人流泪或纠缠，你都要注意查明真相。

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“只要能宽恕，就不要严酷苛刻，严厉法官的名声毕竟不如好心肠法官的名声。

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“如果你审理某个冤家对头的案子，一定要排除个人感情，实事求是地判案。

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“你不要徇私枉法。案子判错了往往无法补救，即使能够补救，也会损害自己的名誉和财产。

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“如果有漂亮的女人请你办案，你一定不要被她的眼泪和呻吟蒙蔽，要仔细研究她所要求的内容，免得让她的哭泣影响你的理智，让她的唉声叹气动摇了你的心。

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“对于那些必须动刑法的人不要再恶语相向。他受了刑本来就很不幸，就不要再辱骂了。

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“把你处分的罪人看成是本性未改的可怜虫，尤其是从你这方面不要伤害他，要对他宽容。虽然仁爱和公正同样是上帝的品德，但我们总觉得宽容比严厉更可取。

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“如果你能够按照这些话去做，桑乔，你就会长命百岁，英名永存，功禄难以估量，幸福难以形容，就可以使你的子女婚姻美满，你的子孙后代留名，你就能与大家和睦相处，就能安度晚年，到你百年时，你的重孙们就会为你轻轻合上眼睛。我刚才是教你如何美化你的灵魂，现在，我再来告诉你如何美化你的外表吧。”

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Verily and truly all those who find pleasure in histories like this ought show their gratitude to Cide Hamete, its original author, for the scrupulous care he has taken to set before us all its minute particulars, not leaving anything, however trifling it may be, that he does not make clear and plain. He portrays the thoughts, he reveals the fancies, he answers implied questions, clears up doubts, sets objections at rest, and, in a word, makes plain the smallest points the most inquisitive can desire to know. O renowned author! O happy Don Quixote! O famous famous droll Sancho! All and each, may ye live countless ages for the delight and amusement of the dwellers on earth!

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The history goes on to say that when Sancho saw the Distressed One faint he exclaimed: “I swear by the faith of an honest man and the shades of all my ancestors the Panzas, that never I did see or hear of, nor has my master related or conceived in his mind, such an adventure as this. A thousand devils — not to curse thee — take thee, Malambruno, for an enchanter and a giant! Couldst thou find no other sort of punishment for these sinners but bearding them? Would it not have been better — it would have been better for them — to have taken off half their noses from the middle upwards, even though they’d have snuffled when they spoke, than to have put beards on them? I’ll bet they have not the means of paying anybody to shave them.”

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“That is the truth, Senor,” said one of the twelve; “we have not the money to get ourselves shaved, and so we have, some of us, taken to using sticking-plasters by way of an economical remedy, for by applying them to our faces and plucking them off with a jerk we are left as bare and smooth as the bottom of a stone mortar. There are, to be sure, women in Kandy that go about from house to house to remove down, and trim eyebrows, and make cosmetics for the use of the women, but we, the duennas of my lady, would never let them in, for most of them have a flavour of agents that have ceased to be principals; and if we are not relieved by Senor Don Quixote we shall be carried to our graves with beards.”

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“I will pluck out my own in the land of the Moors,” said Don Quixote, “if I don’t cure yours.”

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At this instant the Trifaldi recovered from her swoon and said, “The chink of that promise, valiant knight, reached my ears in the midst of my swoon, and has been the means of reviving me and bringing back my senses; and so once more I implore you, illustrious errant, indomitable sir, to let your gracious promises be turned into deeds.”

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“There shall be no delay on my part,” said Don Quixote. “Bethink you, senora, of what I must do, for my heart is most eager to serve you.”

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“The fact is,” replied the Distressed One, “it is five thousand leagues, a couple more or less, from this to the kingdom of Kandy, if you go by land; but if you go through the air and in a straight line, it is three thousand two hundred and twenty-seven. You must know, too, that Malambruno told me that, whenever fate provided the knight our deliverer, he himself would send him a steed far better and with less tricks than a post-horse; for he will be that same wooden horse on which the valiant Pierres carried off the fair Magalona; which said horse is guided by a peg he has in his forehead that serves for a bridle, and flies through the air with such rapidity that you would fancy the very devils were carrying him. This horse, according to ancient tradition, was made by Merlin. He lent him to Pierres, who was a friend of his, and who made long journeys with him, and, as has been said, carried off the fair Magalona, bearing her through the air on its haunches and making all who beheld them from the earth gape with astonishment; and he never lent him save to those whom he loved or those who paid him well; and since the great Pierres we know of no one having mounted him until now. From him Malambruno stole him by his magic art, and he has him now in his possession, and makes use of him in his journeys which he constantly makes through different parts of the world; he is here to-day, to-morrow in France, and the next day in Potosi; and the best of it is the said horse neither eats nor sleeps nor wears out shoes, and goes at an ambling pace through the air without wings, so that he whom he has mounted upon him can carry a cup full of water in his hand without spilling a drop, so smoothly and easily does he go, for which reason the fair Magalona enjoyed riding him greatly.”

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“For going smoothly and easily,” said Sancho at this, “give me my Dapple, though he can’t go through the air; but on the ground I’ll back him against all the amblers in the world.”

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They all laughed, and the Distressed One continued: “And this same horse, if so be that Malambruno is disposed to put an end to our sufferings, will be here before us ere the night shall have advanced half an hour; for he announced to me that the sign he would give me whereby I might know that I had found the knight I was in quest of, would be to send me the horse wherever he might be, speedily and promptly.”

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“And how many is there room for on this horse?” asked Sancho.

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“Two,” said the Distressed One, “one in the saddle, and the other on the croup; and generally these two are knight and squire, when there is no damsel that’s being carried off.”

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“I’d like to know, Senora Distressed One,” said Sancho, “what is the name of this horse?”

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“His name,” said the Distressed One, “is not the same as Bellerophon’s horse that was called Pegasus, or Alexander the Great’s , called Bucephalus, or Orlando Furioso’s, the name of which was Brigliador, nor yet Bayard, the horse of Reinaldos of Montalvan, nor Frontino like Ruggiero’s , nor Bootes or Peritoa, as they say the horses of the sun were called, nor is he called Orelia, like the horse on which the unfortunate Rodrigo, the last king of the Goths, rode to the battle where he lost his life and his kingdom.”

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“I’ll bet,” said Sancho, “that as they have given him none of these famous names of well-known horses, no more have they given him the name of my master’s Rocinante, which for being apt surpasses all that have been mentioned.”

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“That is true,” said the bearded countess, “still it fits him very well, for he is called Clavileno the Swift, which name is in accordance with his being made of wood, with the peg he has in his forehead, and with the swift pace at which he travels; and so, as far as name goes, he may compare with the famous Rocinante.”

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“I have nothing to say against his name,” said Sancho; “but with what sort of bridle or halter is he managed?”

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“I have said already,” said the Trifaldi, “that it is with a peg, by turning which to one side or the other the knight who rides him makes him go as he pleases, either through the upper air, or skimming and almost sweeping the earth, or else in that middle course that is sought and followed in all well-regulated proceedings.”

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“I’d like to see him,” said Sancho; “but to fancy I’m going to mount him, either in the saddle or on the croup, is to ask pears of the elm tree. A good joke indeed! I can hardly keep my seat upon Dapple, and on a pack-saddle softer than silk itself, and here they’d have me hold on upon haunches of plank without pad or cushion of any sort! Gad, I have no notion of bruising myself to get rid of anyone’s beard; let each one shave himself as best he can; I’m not going to accompany my master on any such long journey; besides, I can’t give any help to the shaving of these beards as I can to the disenchantment of my lady Dulcinea.”

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“Yes, you can, my friend,” replied the Trifaldi; “and so much, that without you, so I understand, we shall be able to do nothing.”

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“In the king’s name!” exclaimed Sancho, “what have squires got to do with the adventures of their masters? Are they to have the fame of such as they go through, and we the labour? Body o’ me! if the historians would only say, ‘Such and such a knight finished such and such an adventure, but with the help of so and so, his squire, without which it would have been impossible for him to accomplish it;’ but they write curtly, “Don Paralipomenon of the Three Stars accomplished the adventure of the six monsters;’ without mentioning such a person as his squire, who was there all the time, just as if there was no such being. Once more, sirs, I say my master may go alone, and much good may it do him; and I’ll stay here in the company of my lady the duchess; and maybe when he comes back, he will find the lady Dulcinea’s affair ever so much advanced; for I mean in leisure hours, and at idle moments, to give myself a spell of whipping without so much as a hair to cover me.”

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“For all that you must go if it be necessary, my good Sancho,” said the duchess, “for they are worthy folk who ask you; and the faces of these ladies must not remain overgrown in this way because of your idle fears; that would be a hard case indeed.”

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“In the king’s name, once more!” said Sancho; “If this charitable work were to be done for the sake of damsels in confinement or charity-girls, a man might expose himself to some hardships; but to bear it for the sake of stripping beards off duennas! Devil take it! I’d sooner see them all bearded, from the highest to the lowest, and from the most prudish to the most affected.”

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“You are very hard on duennas, Sancho my friend,” said the duchess; “you incline very much to the opinion of the Toledo apothecary. But indeed you are wrong; there are duennas in my house that may serve as patterns of duennas; and here is my Dona Rodriguez, who will not allow me to say otherwise.”

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“Your excellence may say it if you like,” said the Rodriguez; “for God knows the truth of everything; and whether we duennas are good or bad, bearded or smooth, we are our mothers’ daughters like other women; and as God sent us into the world, he knows why he did, and on his mercy I rely, and not on anybody’s beard.”

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“Well, Senora Rodriguez, Senora Trifaldi, and present company,” said Don Quixote, “I trust in Heaven that it will look with kindly eyes upon your troubles, for Sancho will do as I bid him. Only let Clavileno come and let me find myself face to face with Malambruno, and I am certain no razor will shave you more easily than my sword shall shave Malambruno’s head off his shoulders; for ‘God bears with the wicked, but not for ever.”

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“Ah!” exclaimed the Distressed One at this, “may all the stars of the celestial regions look down upon your greatness with benign eyes, valiant knight, and shed every prosperity and valour upon your heart, that it may be the shield and safeguard of the abused and downtrodden race of duennas, detested by apothecaries, sneered at by squires, and made game of by pages. Ill betide the jade that in the flower of her youth would not sooner become a nun than a duenna! Unfortunate beings that we are, we duennas! Though we may be descended in the direct male line from Hector of Troy himself, our mistresses never fail to address us as ‘you’ if they think it makes queens of them. O giant Malambruno, though thou art an enchanter, thou art true to thy promises. Send us now the peerless Clavileno, that our misfortune may be brought to an end; for if the hot weather sets in and these beards of ours are still there, alas for our lot!”

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The Trifaldi said this in such a pathetic way that she drew tears from the eyes of all and even Sancho’s filled up; and he resolved in his heart to accompany his master to the uttermost ends of the earth, if so be the removal of the wool from those venerable countenances depended upon it.

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