WHAT purpose I had in view when I was hot on tracing out and proving Estella’s parentage, I cannot say. It will presently be seen that the question was not before me in a distinct shape, until it was put before me by a wiser head than my own.
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But, when Herbert and I had held our momentous conversation, I was seized with a feverish conviction that I ought to hunt the matter down - that I ought not to let it rest, but that I ought to see Mr Jaggers, and come at the bare truth. I really do not know whether I felt that I did this for Estella’s sake, or whether I was glad to transfer to the man in whose preservation I was so much concerned, some rays of the romantic interest that had so long surrounded her. Perhaps the latter possibility may be the nearer to the truth.
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Any way, I could scarcely be withheld from going out to Gerrard-street that night. Herbert’s representations that if I did, I should probably be laid up and stricken useless, when our fugitive’s safety would depend upon me, alone restrained my impatience. On the understanding, again and again reiterated, that come what would, I was to go to Mr Jaggers to-morrow, I at length submitted to keep quiet, and to have my hurts looked after, and to stay at home. Early next morning we went out together, and at the corner of Giltspur-street by Smithfield, I left Herbert to go his way into the City, and took my way to Little Britain.
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There were periodical occasions when Mr Jaggers and Wemmick went over the office accounts, and checked off the vouchers, and put all things straight. On these occasions Wemmick took his books and papers into Mr Jaggers’s room, and one of the up-stairs clerks came down into the outer office. Finding such clerk on Wemmick’s post that morning, I knew what was going on; but, I was not sorry to have Mr Jaggers and Wemmick together, as Wemmick would then hear for himself that I said nothing to compromise him.
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My appearance with my arm bandaged and my coat loose over my shoulders, favoured my object. Although I had sent Mr Jaggers a brief account of the accident as soon as I had arrived in town, yet I had to give him all the details now; and the speciality of the occasion caused our talk to be less dry and hard, and less strictly regulated by the rules of evidence, than it had been before. While I described the disaster, Mr Jaggers stood, according to his wont, before the fire. Wemmick leaned back in his chair, staring at me, with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, and his pen put horizontally into the post. The two brutal casts, always inseparable in my mind from the official proceedings, seemed to be congestively considering whether they didn’t smell fire at the present moment.
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My narrative finished, and their questions exhausted, I then produced Miss Havisham’s authority to receive the nine hundred pounds for Herbert. Mr Jaggers’s eyes retired a little deeper into his head when I handed him the tablets, but he presently handed them over to Wemmick, with instructions to draw the cheque for his signature. While that was in course of being done, I looked on at Wemmick as he wrote, and Mr Jaggers, poising and swaying himself on his well-polished boots, looked on at me. `I am sorry, Pip,’ said he, as I put the cheque in my pocket, when he had signed it, `that we do nothing for you.’
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`Miss Havisham was good enough to ask me,’ I returned, `whether she could do nothing for me, and I told her No.’
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`Everybody should know his own business,’ said Mr Jaggers. And I saw Wemmick’s lips form the words `portable property.’
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`I should not have told her No, if I had been you,’ said Mr Jaggers; `but every man ought to know his own business best.’
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`Every man’s business,’ said Wemmick, rather reproachfully towards me, `is portable property.’
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As I thought the time was now come for pursuing the theme I had at heart, I said, turning on Mr Jaggers:
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`I did ask something of Miss Havisham, however, sir. I asked her to give me some information relative to her adopted daughter, and she gave me all she possessed.’
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`Did she?’ said Mr Jaggers, bending forward to look at his boots and then straightening himself. `Hah! I don’t think I should have done so, if I had been Miss Havisham. But she ought to know her own business best.’
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`I know more of the history of Miss Havisham’s adopted child, than Miss Havisham herself does, sir. I know her mother.’
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Mr Jaggers looked at me inquiringly, and repeated `Mother?’
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`I have seen her mother within these three days.’
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`Yes?’ said Mr Jaggers.
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`And so have you, sir. And you have seen her still more recently.’
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`Yes?’ said Mr Jaggers.
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`Perhaps I know more of Estella’s history than even you do,’ said I. `I know her father too.’
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A certain stop that Mr Jaggers came to in his manner - he was too self-possessed to change his manner, but he could not help its being brought to an indefinablyattentive stop - assured me that he did not know who her father was. This I had strongly suspected from Provis’s account (as Herbert had repeated it) of his having kept himself dark; which I pieced on to the fact that he himself was not Mr Jaggers’s client until some four years later, and when he could have no reason for claiming his identity. But, I could not be sure of this unconsciousness on Mr Jaggers’s part before, though I was quite sure of it now.
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`So! You know the young lady’s father, Pip?’ said Mr Jaggers.
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`Yes,’ I replied, `and his name is Provis - from New South Wales.’
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Even Mr Jaggers started when I said those words. It was the slightest start that could escape a man, the most carefully repressed and the soonest checked, but he did start, though he made it a part of the action of taking out his pocket-handkerchief. How Wemmick received the announcement I am unable to say, for I was afraid to look at him just then, lest Mr Jaggers’s sharpness should detect that there had been some communication unknown to him between us.
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`And on what evidence, Pip,’ asked Mr. Jaggers, very coolly, as he paused with his handkerchief half way to his nose, `does Provis make this claim?’
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`He does not make it,’ said I, `and has never made it, and has no knowledge or belief that his daughter is in existence.’
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For once, the powerful pocket-handkerchief failed. My reply was so unexpected that Mr Jaggers put the handkerchief back into his pocket without completing the usual performance, folded his arms, and looked with stern attention at me, though with an immovable face.
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Then I told him all I knew, and how I knew it; with the one reservation that I left him to infer that I knew from Miss Havisham what I in fact knew from Wemmick. I was very careful indeed as to that. Nor, did I look towards Wemmick until I had finished all I had to tell, and had been for some time silently meeting Mr Jaggers’s look. When I did at last turn my eyes in Wemmick’s direction, I found that he had unposted his pen, and was intent upon the table before him.
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`Hah!’ said Mr Jaggers at last, as he moved towards the papers on the table, ` - What item was it you were at, Wemmick, when Mr. Pip came in?’
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But I could not submit to be thrown off in that way, and I made a passionate, almost an indignant, appeal to him to be more frank and manly with me. I reminded him of the false hopes into which I had lapsed, the length of time they had lasted, and the discovery I had made: and I hinted at the danger that weighed upon my spirits. I represented myself as being surely worthy of some little confidence from him, in return for the confidence I had just now imparted. I said that I did not blame him, or suspect him, or mistrust him, but I wanted assurance of the truth from him. And if he asked me why I wanted it and why I thought I had any right to it, I would tell him, little as he cared for such poor dreams, that I had loved Estella dearly and long, and that, although I had lost her and must live a bereaved life, whatever concerned her was still nearer and dearer to me than anything else in the world. And seeing that Mr Jaggers stood quite still and silent, and apparently quite obdurate, under this appeal, I turned to Wemmick, and said, `Wemmick, I know you to be a man with a gentle heart. I have seen your pleasant home, and your old father, and all the innocent cheerful playful ways with which you refresh your business life. And I entreat you to say a word for me to Mr Jaggers, and to represent to him that, all circumstances considered, he ought to be more open with me!’
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I have never seen two men look more oddly at one another than Mr Jaggers and Wemmick did after this apostrophe. At first, a misgiving crossed me that Wemmick would be instantly dismissed from his employment; but, it melted as I saw Mr Jaggers relax into something like a smile, and Wemmick become bolder.
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`What’s all this?’ said Mr Jaggers. `You with an old father, and you with pleasant and playful ways?’
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`Well!’ returned Wemmick. `If I don’t bring ’em here, what does it matter?’
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`Pip,’ said Mr Jaggers, laying his hand upon my arm, and smiling openly, `this man must be the most cunning impostor in all London.’
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`Not a bit of it,’ returned Wemmick, growing bolder and bolder. `I think you’re another.’
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Again they exchanged their former odd looks, each apparently still distrustful that the other was taking him in.
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`You with a pleasant home?’ said Mr Jaggers.
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`Since it don’t interfere with business,’ returned Wemmick, `let it be so. Now, I look at you, sir, I shouldn’t wonder if you might be planning and contriving to have a pleasant home of your own, one of these days, when you’re tired of all this work.’
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Mr Jaggers nodded his head retrospectively two or three times, and actually drew a sigh. `Pip,’ said he, `we won’t talk about "poor dreams;" you know more about such things than I, having much fresher experience of that kind. But now, about this other matter. I’ll put a case to you. Mind! I admit nothing.’
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He waited for me to declare that I quite understood that he expressly said that he admitted nothing.
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`I follow you, sir.’
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`Put the case, Pip, that here was one pretty little child out of the heap, who could be saved; whom the father believed dead, and dared make no stir about; as to whom, over the mother, the legal adviser had this power: "I know what you did, and how you did it. You came so and so, this was your manner of attack and this the manner of resistance, you went so and so, you did such and such things to divert suspicion. I have tracked you through it all, and I tell it you all. Part with the child, unless it should be necessary to produce it to clear you, and then it shall be produced. Give the child into my hands, and I will do my best to bring you off. If you are saved, your child is saved too; if you are lost, your child is still saved." Put the case that this was done, and that the woman was cleared.’